Session 295 If you're struggling with mental illness and you're debating whether or not to put that in your application, today's interview is something you must listen to. Logan is currently a rising second-year medical student at Pacific Northwest. He decided to reach out to me after gaining an acceptance and after originally being discouraged way back in Episode 194, where I interviewed Jeff who is legally blind and decided not to disclose his disability in his second application because he didn't get in the first time. So Logan decided to ignore my advice of leaving off any huge red flags from the application. He was very open about his bipolar disorder. [02:00] From YouTube to Podcast Logan was originally a YouTuber, and his first taste of disclosing his bipolar disorder publicly was through this platform. But not being a tech guy and hating filming, he just felt he was putting a facade. And it was through a podcast that he realized he was being his natural self. Logan likes to be a psychiatrist in the future and so he likes his future patients to be at ease with him in telling him their embarrassing, dark secrets. [04:03] Interest in Becoming a Physician Logan only realized he wanted to be a physician some five years ago. He got diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 22, right when he graduated undergrad. Then he worked in insurance and finance after it and hated it. He found it so depressing, even more so than he was diagnosed with the disorder. So he knew he needed a change. He then started working as a public speaker in the mental health sphere and was giving his story to different institutions and he loved what he was doing. He also worked various roles within mental health but he wasn't sure what he wanted to do initially. However, having talked with a lot of people, he saw the frustration they had with the medications they were taking as well as the diagnosis. So he wanted to take out a lot of subjectivity around mental health. And rather, find some objective means of understanding these mental illnesses and how to better correct them. "What really led him to medical school is being able to take out a lot of subjectivity around mental health." [05:40] The Motivation to Tell His Story Logan was initially warned by the doctors and social workers about the stigma around mental illness. There could be discrimination and it could jeopardize his career and relationships. So they told him it's not a good idea to tell people outside of your most immediate circle. He was frustrated by this and listened to their advice. He was ashamed of his disorder and didn't tell anybody. "I lived almost with this cloak of shame and I was really embarrassed about my bipolar disorder. I didn't really tell anybody. It was a horrible way to live." He continued to live this way for about 18 months until The Sandy Hook Shooting. He grew up in Connecticut, about an hour north of Sandy Hook. So how after that incident gave a perception that people with mental illness were violent, and that they were ticking time bombs, he just found it to be so absurd. He knew it wasn't him. He's not a violent person, never been arrested and never been in a fight. He knew he was a good person and so he wanted to share his story. He wanted to prove everybody wrong. He then joined the Speaker's Bureau and started posting on YouTube about his experiences. "I want to share my story and show that people with mental illness are not like this. They can be normal people that contribute to society." [07:30] What Bipolar Disorder Looks Like Logan describes his disorder as experiencing depression at first. He studied in Scotland and when he got there he was struggling with insomnia that actually lasted for months. He started to have really bad anxiety. He thought all his friends hated him and that his family was disowning him. He was having all these negative thoughts that weren't true and these kept him up late at night. This was what led him to alcohol abuse. He as self-med