Writing is on the wall for ‘customer care’

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Writing is on the wall for ‘customer care’

FromFT Listen to Lucy

ratings:

Length:

6 minutes

Released:

Apr 1, 2011

Format:

Podcast episode

Description

A letter posted on a lavatory wall to amuse with its verbosity highlights the deficiencies of another missive by a virtuoso at apology – and guff. For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy

Released:

Apr 1, 2011

Format:

Podcast episode

Titles in the series (100)

Financial Times management columnist Lucy Kellaway pokes fun at management fads and jargon, and celebrates the ups and downs of office life.

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Strap on the sensors and step out into the future: Imagine a brave new world where electronic tagging of employees brings the study of management out of the dark ages. Lucy Kellaway peeks into a frightening future as scientists strive to answer why some companies and managers are so good - and others s... by FT Listen to Lucy
5 min listen
Tone down the hatred and retain your dignity: This week, Lucy looks at rage, pettiness and rivalry between companies. by FT Listen to Lucy
6 min listen
Some uncharitable thoughts on millionaire generosity: Being generous as a millionaire doesn't make you different to the middle classes, says Lucy Kellaway. An act of true generosity is a rare event whether you are a millionaire or not. For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/pri... by FT Listen to Lucy
6 min listen
Put real business on TV and I'll reach for the remote: Business telly, so the newspapers tell us, is 'the new rock and roll'. While it isn't exactly cool, it is increasingly popular. But is it really about business? For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy by FT Listen to Lucy
6 min listen
Fleeting pleasures of August without the A-team: There are many reasons to be happy in the office in August - but needless e-mails from control freaks on holiday isn't one of them. For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy by FT Listen to Lucy
6 min listen
Private parties and shameless schmoozing: The crossover of business and private parties creates problems for the guest. It is helpful to know which sort of do you are at, so you can behave accordingly, says Lucy Kellaway For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy by FT Listen to Lucy
5 min listen
A year of breakthrough thinking from top twaddlists: Lucy gives out her 2007 awards for management nonsense For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy by FT Listen to Lucy
7 min listen
Take a bracing dip in September's overflowing in-box: Long ago, before e-mail, the return from holiday was a leisurely thing For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy by FT Listen to Lucy
6 min listen
Google will make recruits less frugal with the truth: Lucy sees reasons for cheer in the new 'world without secrets' For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy by FT Listen to Lucy
6 min listen
We are not family: 'We' doesn't imply teamwork or even people who like each other. It is just the mundane experience of office life For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy by FT Listen to Lucy
6 min listen
Today's punishment is meted out with politesse: A corporate bollocking just isn't the same as it used to be: PR people have taken over and emotion has been outlawed. For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy by FT Listen to Lucy
5 min listen
Flatulence is no longer tolerated: As the global financial crisis deepens, Lucy Kellaway says the glory days of the management bullshit industry are well and truly over. But she admits the return of sense may not be entirely welcome. For information regarding your data privacy, visit a... by FT Listen to Lucy
6 min listen
Just say No to the new managerial cult of Yes: For people in any position of authority the ability to say no is the most important skill there is. For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy by FT Listen to Lucy
6 min listen
The ups and downs of the daily grind: Do you work well when you are miserable? Are happy workers the most productive? This week, Lucy keeps a diary to see how her moods affect her work. For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy by FT Listen to Lucy
6 min listen
Trapped workers develop a line in doodling: It is wrong to see doodling as something to do when bored. Instead, it is what we do when we are forced to listen to someone else. For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy by FT Listen to Lucy
6 min listen
I've found the worst employee handbook ever: Forty-one years ago, chairman Mao distributed 900m copies of The Little Red Book to the people of China. A couple of weeks ago, Deloitte distributed thousands of copies of The Little Blue Book of Strategy to its US employees. Apart from the difference ... by FT Listen to Lucy
6 min listen
Motivational memos must make their message clear: Lucy asks 'what is the worst motivational memo ever?' For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy by FT Listen to Lucy
6 min listen
The headhunters' disease: Saying anything that makes any sense at all is enough to disqualify one from joining what practitioners call the 'executive search space' For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy by FT Listen to Lucy
6 min listen
Reasons for being miserable at work: The three things that really make most workers unhappy are actually rather basic - they are the work, the people and the general environment For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy by FT Listen to Lucy
5 min listen
A word in your ear: Listening is really easy - any old fool can do it - so it can't therefore be a key skill for CEOs, argues Lucy Kellaway. So why do so many business leaders go on about it? For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy by FT Listen to Lucy
5 min listen
Bonuses for the incorrigibly childish: The granting of investment bank bonuses is a ruinously expensive, tiring and highly political game in which almost everyone emerges a loser. Here's how the game works. For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy by FT Listen to Lucy
6 min listen
Happiness is finding your inner receptionist: When we were young we had something to prove. As we grow older, we realise that just as few doors are open to us as when we were young. For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy by FT Listen to Lucy
6 min listen
Green holiday that makes me see red: The National Trust gave its 5,000 employees a leap day holiday - but they had to spend time making their own homes more environmentally friendly. Should companies force us to be charitable? For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/... by FT Listen to Lucy
6 min listen
Leisurely retirement? Think again: When it comes to retirement, are you Buffet, Gates or potato? For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy by FT Listen to Lucy
6 min listen
The real reason why there are fewer women at the top: The glass ceiling or labyrinth fall short of explaining why women don't make it to the top. Perhaps, argues Lucy Kellaway, women should look at themselves. For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy by FT Listen to Lucy
5 min listen
The battle is lost, going forward: Going backward: how the phrase 'going forward' has infected business conversation For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy by FT Listen to Lucy
6 min listen
Secret science of persuasion: Has Lucy been getting it wrong for 600 columns? A US professor in psychology and marketing has explained how some campaigns can work, including plying your audience with caffeine For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy by FT Listen to Lucy
6 min listen
If there were no losers, we wouldn't have any winners: Win-win? Instead of pretending that everything is a win, the good leader needs to get better about wining and losing For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy by FT Listen to Lucy
6 min listen
Reasons for effing and blinding: This column is about strong language, which explains why it contains some. Swearing can be useful in the office, but there are some rules you should follow. For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy by FT Listen to Lucy
6 min listen
Express your anger - it is all the rage: For me work is one long rage opportunity - starting with the fact that the machine that dispenses hot water for tea is on the blink. For information regarding your data privacy, visit acast.com/privacy by FT Listen to Lucy
6 min listen

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FT readers, I will miss you most of all: After 32 years, you are still an enigma, says Lucy Kellaway by FT Listen to Lucy
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How I lost my 25-year battle against corporate claptrap: The exponential rise of guff in business shows no sign of abating, says Lucy Kellaway by FT Listen to Lucy
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Apple's new grandiose office is for grown -ups: Apple's $5bn headquarters is the world’s most expensive office and Steve Jobs' last posthumous hurrah, says Lucy Kellaway by FT Listen to Lucy
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Don't listen to prigs: profanity is glorious: Shock over swear words exposes some misplaced prudery, says Lucy Kellaway by FT Listen to Lucy
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Let's have more 'womanterruption': Interruptions help cut short boring discussions. So instead of making men interrupt less, women should be made to do it more, argues Lucy Kellaway. by FT Listen to Lucy
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Why the most successful people just say no: The main difference between yes and no is that one is easy and the other hard, says Lucy Kellaway by FT Listen to Lucy
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Paul Romer’s ‘and’ quota is a false economy: It was wrong to punish someone who tried to get his colleagues to write text that people might conceivably want to read, says Lucy Kellaway by FT Listen to Lucy
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You heard it here first: hold fast to your antiques: The tables are turning on Ikea and the fashion for Skandi tat, says Lucy Kellaway. Image credit: Chris Tosic by FT Listen to Lucy
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Amy the robot wants my job, but she's no match for me: Voice bot Artificial Amy would represent serious competition if what she produced was halfway decent, but it isn't, says Lucy Kellaway by FT Listen to Lucy
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To say older workers lack energy is ageist and wrong: Modern fiftysomethings are perky, well-rested and free from domestic ties, says Lucy Kellaway by FT Listen to Lucy
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There is nothing cute about innumeracy: Abbott’s difficulty with a simple sum is evidence of a troubling assumption, says Lucy Kellaway by FT Listen to Lucy
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Mondelez serves up 10 business clichés in one sentence: ‘Breakthrough’ is so stale it makes me almost feel sorry for the author, says Lucy Kellaway. Image credit: Chris Tosic by FT Listen to Lucy
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My speech was a car crash because I am too confident: Good intentions led to a tour de force of clangers, says Lucy Kellaway. by FT Listen to Lucy
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Cheap ways to prevent executive burnout: Expensive ‘holistic’ leadership programmes do not solve anything, says Lucy Kellaway by FT Listen to Lucy
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A masterclass in calling bullshit: Puffed-up nonsense has been deemed worthy of academic study, says Lucy Kellaway. by FT Listen to Lucy
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The dedicated office chatters are being forced out: Everyone will tell you they are too busy to talk — but it is not true, says Lucy Kellaway. Image credit: Chris Tosic by FT Listen to Lucy
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Codes of conduct breach the principles of common sense: Codes of conduct breach the principles of common sense by FT Listen to Lucy
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Robert Kelly’s children remind us how pompous we are at work: Viral video of domestic mishap shows the artificiality of the professional self, says Lucy Kellaway by FT Listen to Lucy
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How I help my children navigate their incredible life journeys: Unlike Angela Ahrendts, I am not ‘on 24/7’, say Lucy Kellaway. by FT Listen to Lucy
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Why do we let Warren Buffett get away with sexism?: The Sage of Omaha tells old and unfunny jokes without recrimination, says Lucy Kellaway. by FT Listen to Lucy
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Death can bring your career back to life: A disrupter of habit, it stops the living in their tracks, says Lucy Kellaway by FT Listen to Lucy
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Should you ever trade on past glories?: Telling others what you did before can be a sign of mediocrity, says Lucy Kellaway. Illustration by Chris Tosic by FT Listen to Lucy
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Sexy and super bland: the rise of the office uniform: What people wear to work at investment banks, management consultancies and top law firms is ridiculous. Individualism is to be avoided at all costs. says Lucy Kellaway. by FT Listen to Lucy
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How to ask for what you want — and get it every time: Start with please and thank you, then spoon on the flattery, says Lucy Kellaway. Image by Chris Tosic by FT Listen to Lucy
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I am a difficult person at work and proud of it: In the workplace and in life, being troublesome can be useful, says Lucy Kellaway. by FT Listen to Lucy
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Why is work making us miserable?: Office life is better than ever before, but dissatisfaction is rising, says Lucy Kellaway by FT Listen to Lucy
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Writing clearly turns out to be not so easy after all: When handing out my annual guff awards last week I said clear language in business was perfectly possible if you tried hard enough. I now find it’s not as simple as that, says Lucy Kellaway. by FT Listen to Lucy
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Lucy Kellaway’s jargon awards: corporate guff scales new heights: Contenders for 2016’s gong ranged from euphemistic to ‘plain moronic’, says Lucy Kellaway by FT Listen to Lucy
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I’m leaving to become a teacher and I want you to join me: After 31 years at the Financial Times, Lucy Kellaway is leaving to set up Now Teach by FT Listen to Lucy
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Skip the empathy, Mr Schultz, and focus on the coffee: Starbucks boss has no business sending a missive to staff to tell them how to be. by FT Listen to Lucy
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Writing is on the wall for ‘customer care’

Writing is on the wall for ‘customer care’

Description

Titles in the series (100)

More Episodes from FT Listen to Lucy