Viz Magazine

WHILST strolling up Blackpool promenade last night, I thought of a new attraction mixing the annual autumn light show with the world of Greek hard cheese, called ‘Blackpool Hallouminations’. I’m not sure how many tourists this would pull in, but it’s

IN OUR more contemplative moments, every one of us has wondered what it would be like to be the infallible supreme leader of the worldwide Catholic Church. But if we actually DID get to be Bishop of Rome for 24 hours, what would we do with our time?

WHEN Boris Johnson accidentally misspoke about how one of the laws his government drew up should be interpreted, it showed one thing - that the current Coronavirus legislation is an absolute shitshow. We all want to send this virus packing, like the

Archaeologist Dr Ingibjorg Magnusmagnusson from the University of Reykjavic says that a drinking vessel from classical Sparta could yield human DNA, which in turn could be used to clone the individual who drank from it two-and-a-half millennia ago. “

• In the gory fight sequences, the Spartans approach their enemies swinging their swords, before the film goes into slow motion as the blade delivers the fatal blow, then speeding up again. But according to historians, Spartan warriors killed their e

ON THE FACE OF IT, you would imagine Scottish singer Lulu to be a little out of place amongst an army of warriors hell bent on destroying their Persian invaders. But being brought up in Glasgow, the To Sir With Love favourite probably spent many hour

1 PACK a suitcase and set off to visit Sparta today, and you’re in for a disappointment. Because the City State was closed down for good in 192 BC by the Achaean League. And you can’t visit that, either, because that was shut down by the Roman Empire

AN ACQUAINTANCE of mine recently described a most heinous and filthy act to which he had been forced to resort by circumstance. It seems that he awoke following a drunken one night stand to discover that he had soiled the bed of the lady he slept wit

Amber warning n. A log dropped in a partner’s bed; a subtle sign that a romantic relationship may just possibly be heading for trouble. Named in honour of Johnny Depp’s estranged squeeze, viz. Amber Heard = Douglas Hurd. and in local news… phr. Annou

6 Man with arm round hooker, as covering up the end of scandal, breeds (10) 8 Jump some shemale, a porker (4) 10 Ultimate in poon on silver horse (3) 11 Last bit of feeshus from one’s rusty sheriff’s badge spattering a little rust! (7,4) 13 Area betw

The study, which was researched and produced by Swedish scientists from the University of Gottenberg, found that time and time again, people who lived to a ripe old age were dying “significantly later” than people who passed away before them. Lead re

For years, the Tex-Mex rocker has been advising fans to purchase inexpensive models in the band’s 1980 hit Cheap Sunglasses. But yesterday, Hill was spotted coming out of a Bel Air opticians wearing a brand new pair of Louis Vuitton shades that retai

The centosecundian bubble was blown at 2:14:25 pm in Barnstaple Country Park, by four-year-old Maisie Plapple, and spent the majority of its record-breaking existence drifting haphazardly on air currents. Eyewitnesses reported a hazardous time betwee