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On Screen cH PE Cthulhu has been trumpeted in the pages of The Stram } roms | for years now: Grant Cogswell isa contributor te our and the arduous making of the gay-themed horror filn been painstakingly documented from our film sectior vey good makififeature by Cogswell two months ago tt a2005 Drunk of the Week cameo (Tori Spelling sang “Eternal Flame at the Bus Stops karaoke night}. Eel paar A eer So itis not without a certain amount of institutional that! admit Cthulhu is a poorly madi im with almos. merits. The “almost” here refers to the cinematography by Sean Kirby, which i times, beautiful. Buteverything else isshit The pacing is awkward, the cosh areembarrassing, and the dialogue is wooden and just plain dumb. Waggish critics will probably comment that Tori Spi puts in the best performance of the movie, but thattalazy zinger: Her acting isexactly as bad as everyone elses. The worst part is that the filmmakers are trying so hard to artfully transcend the apocalyptic horror genre—to comme through little parodies and self-aware digs, that they re ma’ ‘real movie with real” themes—that they wound up produc ahorror movie thats not in the least bit frightening Crhulh possibly the worst inalonglineof shoddy H.P. Lovecraft fi adaptations. its a goddamned shame, is what itis.