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Drinking Jokes

Drinking Jokes

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Drinking Jokes

Lunghezza:
64 pagine
32 minuti
Pubblicato:
Feb 7, 2021
ISBN:
9781005652746
Formato:
Libro

Descrizione

Break the ice at any party with this fun book one one-liners and short jokes. The first section is all drinking jokes that everyone can relate to, and the second section is a massive collection of my comedy gags from back in my social media days. The third section is a small selection of jokes I did back when I was a part-time on-air personality at a rap station in San Francisco.

These jokes maintain an edge, and so no one is safe from being teased. The work is totally non-partisan, so everyone comes in for a solid teasing. And while the first section can apply to drinkers of all types, it was written largely under the influence of wine, mostly Chardonnay and Cabernet Sauvignon to be more specific. The second section is largely excerpts from my Facebook feed which served as daily entertainment to folks who had known me in the live-poetry years, the Tribe.net years, and the Facebook years. The third section contains short works from the time I labored daily to come up with 30-second to 60-second gags for the introduction to the morning show at KMEL back around the year 2,001. And the last section is drawn from my meme-making era.

Pubblicato:
Feb 7, 2021
ISBN:
9781005652746
Formato:
Libro

Informazioni sull'autore

Mel C. Thompson is a writer of fiction and poetry. His stories tend to center around the topics of greed, sex, religion, alcohol, and history. He is a cultural relativist, which means the good guys and the bad guys are often hard to find in any given tale he is telling. Being a staunch enemy of political correctness and traditionalist norms, it is unlikely that a doctrinaire conservative or an orthodox liberal would come away from these stories feeling happy. He is a trained philosopher who majored in that discipline at the California State University at Fullerton, specializing in such diverse topics as World Religions and scientific methodology. Much of his fiction might loosely be called "theological comedy," although he is now venturing into more overtly secular themes. He is also a publisher and has published other authors under his Mel C. Thompson Publishing Company label. As an amateur musician and part-time radio personality, he appeared on KMEL as a nerd rapper and geek-philosopher. He earlier wrote Buddhist hymns and ordinary pop songs. He survived as a security guard and clerical worker for decades before going out on disability due to a host of physical and mental health problems. At this phase of his life, his studies have gravitated toward higher math, computer literacy and electronics.

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Anteprima del libro

Drinking Jokes - Mel C. Thompson

Drinking Jokes

And Other Bits of Comedy

And The Mad Wizdom of Officer Mushroom

Mel C. Thompson

Copyright © 2021

To contact the author, feel free to use the contact data below.

melcthompson@yahoo.com

Mel C. Thompson Publishing

3559 Mount Diablo Boulevard, #112

Lafayette, CA 94549

Disclaimer

It’s almost impossible to know if any joke one writes has already been thought of or presented by a hundred other comedians around the world. I can only say that this collection of jokes were ones I thought were at least partially original at the time I wrote them, but it’s highly unlikely that someone, somewhere didn’t think these same thoughts before I did.

Cover Images

The Jolly, a vintage masenghini playing card, Bergamo, Italy. Uploaded by Trocche 100 who released the work into the public doman and grants the right to use the image for any purpose permitted by law. Item found at Wikimedia.

Cheers, an non-copyrighted Public Domain Vectors work found at publicdomainvectors.org.

Drinking Jokes

*

A lot of people worry that I might have a drinking problem.

I don't have a drinking problem; I've got a drinking solution.

*

A friend of mine called and said he was really struggling with alcohol.

When I got to his house, sure enough, the bottle of wine was resisting being opened. I helped him wrestle the thing to the ground and, after a prolonged struggle, we finally got it uncorked.

*

The police spotted me wandering down the street carrying a half-full bottle of wine and said they would have to cite me for having an open container.

Confused, I replied, But how can I drink from the bottle if I don't open it first?

*

As I stumbled down the street in a daze, a police officer approached me and said, Sir, have you been drinking tonight?

I tilted my head and said, Are you meaning to imply that there are people who are not drinking tonight?

*

The police gave me a field sobriety test, but the results were not good.

I refused the breathalyzer test, so the officer said, We're going to have to take you to the station and administer a blood-alcohol test.

I replied, Are you saying you still think there's some blood in me?

*

Sobriety advocates state that one warning sign that a person might be an alcoholic is that they engage in a lot of

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