Pushing Up Posies

Pushing up Posies

Guerrilla Grannies – Mission Two

by Jo Michaels

***

Pushing Up Posies

Guerrilla Grannies – Mission Two

by Jo Michaels

Copyright © 2019 Jo Michaels

All Rights Reserved

Published January 20, 2020

Smashwords Version

License Notes:

This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. It may not be copied or re-distributed in any way. Author holds all copyright.

This book is a work of fiction and does not represent any individual living or dead.

Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously.

Cover design by Jo Michaels

Typeset by Jo Michaels

Edited by Tia Silverthorne Bach

Both of INDIE Books Gone Wild

The unauthorized reproduction or distribution of a copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by fines and federal imprisonment.

***

Pearl sat on the couch with Ethel, Biscuit between them, and watched the news. They were already packed, and Pearl’s daughter, Katarina, had offered to keep the pup while her mom and her friends galivanted around Atlanta for a weekend. They told Kat it was for a march for women’s rights, and that they’d be staying in the hotel right across from the Fox Theater.

Of course, all of that was a lie. They were really going to track down Minerva’s husband, who’d faked his own death years before. He’d resurfaced when he hacked the city of Atlanta’s computer systems, shutting down power grids and leaving hundreds of people stranded at the airport. The CDC had called in the Guerrilla Grannies to handle the situation, knowing Minerva was close to the perpetrator and could likely find him easily. She’d been talking about feeling used, but Pearl was sure her friend would get over it as soon as she saw her ex—and had the opportunity to give him a piece of her… mind.

Kat had warned her mother and her friends to be careful, that marches weren’t for women their age, and to call if they ended up in jail somehow. They promised they would.

Pearl knew the odds of them being mown down by an enraged elephant storming the streets of the city were about as good as them calling Kat if they got arrested. A voice on the TV dragged Pearl out of her musings.

Channel 5 was running an update on the hacker situation in and around the city.

Over six-hundred passengers are stranded at the Atlanta airport following a cyber-attack on the city’s computers yesterday. While power has been restored to several thousand homes in and around the metro area, there’s been no progress on the flight situation. Planes are being diverted to nearby cities for landing. More on Alive at Five.

Ethel clicked the button to turn off the television. This is pretty serious, huh?

Nodding, Pearl rubbed Biscuit’s head and sighed. Can you believe that stuff about Monty? she whispered.

Why are you being so cloak and dagger? We’re literally the only ones here.

Very funny. I’m not. I just thought it was rude to say it louder. Poor Minerva.

I can only imagine what she’s going through right now.

She screwed up her mouth while she was thinking. It would be all they could do to hold Minerva back if she decided Monty needed to die a second death. An explosion was bad enough, but what she’d do to him, he wouldn’t come back from. Who’s in Monty’s grave if not Monty?

That’s a damned good question. I wonder if DNA testing would tell us that? Ethel asked.

I bet it would, but we’d need a permit to exhume the ashes. You don’t think he killed someone else on purpose, do you?

At this rate, I’m not sure what I’d believe.

He seemed like such a nice man.

If looks could kill, the one she was giving Pearl right then would’ve melted her into a puddle of goo.

What?

"You always say that. ‘He seemed like such a nice man.’ How come a nice man can’t kill someone if he’s caught in a situation he doesn’t see a way out of?"

Do you know something I don’t?

No. I’m just saying. I’d do whatever I had to.

Well, some of us have scruples. Pearl sniffed.

I have scruples!

Name one.

I don’t sleep with married men. Ethel stuck out her tongue and crossed her arms over her chest.

But everyone else is fair game.

Don’t slut shame me. She hit Pearl lightly.

Hey, if you walk the walk… Pearl winked. Just kidding. I love you, and it does my heart good to deliver the smallest of insults. You know I don’t mean it. I hope.

I know you don’t. That’s the only reason I tolerate the jibes. Do we even have a plan for this mission? I mean, what, are we gonna just stroll down the streets of Atlanta and see if we can spot the bastard?

I think we’re heading into stakeout territory. Minerva said she knows some of his favorite places from back in the day, so I guess we start there and work our way out. Pearl rose to her feet and started for the kitchen. She needed another cup of coffee. One wasn’t cutting it that day. Right about the time she hit the button, Biscuit started barking.

What is it? Ethel asked him.

He ran to the wall where the elevator was hidden and sat down, tongue lolling.

Minerva and Opal must be coming, Pearl said.

Sure enough, the wall folded in and the two women stepped off, their bags in their hands. Opal had four, but Minerva only had two.

What did you pack? Bodies? Pearl asked as she helped with the luggage. It was heavy.

I brought stuff I found in the costuming room downstairs. It’s amazing in there! So many things we can use to pull off our granny look. I took everything I thought might come in handy. I’d rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it.

Amen to that. Their short conversation made her wonder if perhaps she should’ve raided the chemical lab more thoroughly. All she’d grabbed was tear gas and smoke pops, thinking of needing to get away in a hurry. Opal’s rigorous training schedule had armed them all with hand-to-hand skills, at least.

What vehicle are we taking? Minerva asked.

Alma’s minivan, of course! Ethel answered.

Oh no.

Oh yes, and it’s been retrofitted with some pretty cool technology. We’ll look like grannies but be rolling like James Bond.

Really?

Just wait until you see it… Well, just wait until she lets you push a button. Ethel winked.

The doorbell rang, but the dog didn’t go nuts.

Must be her, Pearl said. She still wasn’t sure about taking the minivan, but Ethel was positive it was the right cover. Shrugging, Pearl opened the door and smiled.

Alma scurried inside, gripping her purse with both hands, giving her friend a cursory wave of the fingers and a head nod in way of a greeting.

Well, hello to you, too, Pearl muttered as she shut the door and followed.

Jessica was asking me a million questions I didn’t have answers to. She may show up here in a few minutes to ask all of you. Gaze going everywhere, Alma tugged at her sweater and knit her brows. Will that be okay?

Of course. Why are you so nervous? Ethel asked.

We’re not supposed to tell anyone, remember? And I’m the worst liar. My face gets all splotchy, and I stammer a lot. She knows something’s up, I’m sure.

I think it’ll be fine. Pearl rolled her eyes as she pulled Alma into a hug. Don’t be such a worrywart. We’ll happily lie to Jessica for you.

Falling on the couch and resting her head back, Alma stared at the ceiling. I hate lying. Daddy always said that eventually you’d get caught, and that lies are the Devil’s work. I feel like I’m going to Hell for telling my daughter and husband fibs! Though, to be honest, lying to Edwin was much easier.

But not telling them the truth isn’t something you can help. It was the NDA you signed. When I have to lie to Kat, reminding myself of that is how I keep from feeling like an asshole about it. Pearl widened her eyes.

Where did you tell her we were going? Alma slapped her forehead. Never mind. I was here! Gosh, I didn’t know this would be so difficult!

Don’t slap yourself, honey. At our age, we need all the brain cells we can get. Minerva patted Alma’s knee.

I feel like I’m already a few colors short of a box of Fruit Loops.

Don’t we all? Ethel asked.

Everyone nodded.

My bags are by the door. Let’s get loaded up and out of here before anyone has the chance to stop by and ask more questions about the mission. Pearl ran for the door.

Right behind her, the other women trooped out to Alma’s van and threw their bags in. She got behind the wheel, Ethel sat up front with Biscuit, and the other three got in back.

Still looks the same, Minerva said.

After we drop the dog off, I’ll show you some of the cool new features. Ethel winked.

When they got across the street, she cuddled Biscuit. I’ll miss the hell out of you, but your mama’s gotta go to work and catch a very bad man. You be a good boy for Ms. Kat, okay?

He woofed.

Her voice had changed like she was talking to a baby, but it was right back to its usual tone when she opened the door. Be right back, ladies! She got out and went to the door, a bag with all the dog’s stuff hanging from her shoulder.

It was like watching a mother drop off her infant at daycare for the first day. Every time she got a few feet away, she’d run back and give him another kiss or pat on the head.

Finally, she made it back to the van and got in, her eyes watery. You sure you don’t want me to drive, Alma?

Actually, I think I do. City traffic makes me awfully nervous. Edwin usually drives.

Sweet!

They traded places, and the women in the back buckled their seatbelts, exchanging glances.

Jessica walked out her front door and started toward Pearl’s house, but when Alma’s daughter spied the van, she changed course, waving as she made her way toward them.

What do we do? I’m sure she knows we saw her! Alma said.

Punch it, Ethel! Opal screamed.

Smoke from the tires billowed through the air as the women shot away from the curb and toward the development’s exit.

Minerva and Pearl were laughing, but Alma worried her thumbnail with her teeth. Do you think that was rude? she asked.

No. You’re a grown person, free to live your life as you see fit. If you want to go to a march with your lady friends for women’s rights, you do it! Pearl said.

And you don’t ask permission! Minerva added.

Is there really a march happening in the city this weekend? Ethel took the corner at breakneck speed, but the van barely tilted.

Of course. That’s why we used it as cover, Opal answered.

I think you can slow down now. She’s not a cheetah, Pearl said.

They flew through the gate, waving at the guard. He nodded and went back to reading his paper. None of their comings and goings seemed to have been recorded, and she wondered if that was via directive or if the CDC didn’t care because of the tracking devices in the women’s cellphones.

Hers rang right as Ethel let off the gas.

Dammit. It was under a fat wallet at the bottom of Pearl’s purse, but she managed to get the device out and slide her finger over the screen before it rang more than a couple of times. It was Kat, and as much as Pearl didn’t want to talk right then, she worried something was wrong and picked up anyway.

Mom? Are y’all okay?

Of course we are, sweetheart. Why do you ask?

Jessica just came over and said y’all tore out of here like something was chasing you.

Well, Jessica was chasing us. Oh, no. That was just Aunt Ethel having a bit of fun. Not to worry.

Katarina laughed. Aunt Ethel and those cars, I swear. In a previous life, she must’ve been a NASCAR driver.

I’m afraid I’ll have to agree with you there.

Okay, Mom. Well, have fun at the march. Love you.

Love you. Pearl ended the call and pulled one side of her mouth back. Jessica was a bit freaked out, but it was a good thing we put Ethel behind the wheel. She bought it.

Minerva quietly fist pumped the air.

So, another reason I wanted Ethel to drive is that I found a couple of really cool gadgets in command central. The Orderly wasn’t joking when he said we’d have hot new tech to help us out. Retrieving a bag from the floor, Alma reached in and withdrew two small boxes, handing them to Pearl and Opal. They looked at one another and then back at the packages in their hands. Open them! Alma said.

Carefully, so not to explode anything that might be volatile, Pearl pulled the top off the box and peered inside. Two earbuds winked up at her. She relaxed and dropped the box lid on the floor, reaching in and plucking one of the tiny things out.

What’s this? Do we need music on our mission?

Oh my God! No way! Minerva was gazing at hers, holding it near a window so she had more light.

Yes way. Alma looked like a satisfied cat when she smiled.

Pearl half expected her friend to burp yellow feathers at any moment. What is it?

It’s a two-way radio! Minerva went about putting the device in her ear. How does it work?

I have no idea. I just found and recognized them and thought it might be a better way of keeping in contact than those squeaky radios we used on the job with The Rat.

Brilliant. Do we have five of them?

Alma nodded. Six, actually.

How do you work it? Pearl yelled after she couldn’t take the suspense any longer.

Oh! Minerva stopped what she was doing and set about explaining. You press this button to turn it on, put it in your ear, and you can talk to and hear all of us without doing anything else.

All of you?

Yep.

Well, what if you all start talking at the same time, and what if I don’t want to give all four of you constant access to my ear?

Suck it up, buttercup! Ethel said as she passed a truck going thirty-five in a fifty-five. She flipped him off, took a left, and shot up the on ramp for I-75, making for the HOV lane.

You have to stop driving so angrily, Alma said.

Why? Everyone is on the defense. I think I’m the only one on the road playing for the other team.

Wait, you’re a lesbian? Opal asked.

Ethel chuckled. No. While there’s nothing wrong with being a lesbian, I’m not one. That’s not what I meant at all.

Then tell us what you were referring to.

I mean everyone takes defensive driving, right? It’s certainly mandated in the state of Georgia.

All the other ladies nodded.

"If we’re all in the same mode, someone is missing out, so I always