Stand Up: How to Flourish When the Odds Are Stacked Against You
By René Banglesdorf and Jackie Green
()
About this ebook
Divisiveness and double standards have overrun our culture. If everyone stands up and models decency, courage, and good manners, communities and families will flourish. Stand Up is a battle cry for women to take a posture of readiness and action, determine their purpose, plan for successes, and overcome the loneliness that threatens this silent majority. René Banglesdorf, an entrepreneur, encourages women to exemplify good behavior in the areas of temptation, forgiveness, and hypocrisy—three areas that threaten especially Christian women’s credibility in a searching world. Stand Up explains how women who want to leave a legacy can repurpose their fears, recover from failures, get what they want out of life, and press on to fulfill their destiny. The unique perspective from a female executive in a 99-percent-male-dominated role—who spent many of her career-development years as a stay-at-home mom—compels women of all ages to believe the best can be ahead of them if they indeed stand up, stand out, and stand firm in their beliefs.
Related to Stand Up
Related ebooks
BUTTERFLIES AND SHINY THINGS: A Women’s Guide On How To Manage Financial Distractions Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings1332 High Level Affirmations to Be Here Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Get Noticed Woman Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThrive! ... Affordably: Your month-to-month guide to living your BEST life without breaking the bank. Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBe Yourself: How to fulfil your destiny through the power of self-discovery Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFocusing on Your Dreams Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsElevate Your Career: Live A Life You Are Truly Proud Of Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings1606 Actual Triggers to Set the Right Goals, Develop Powerful Focus, Stick to the Process, and Achieve Success Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLove Strong: Change Your Narrative, Change Your Life, and Take Your Power Back! Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsConnection: Keep Your Light Burning Bright Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Purpose Driven Woman: 14 Memoirs on Becoming Fearless & Intentional Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings730 Mental Triggers to Use Your Brain's Executive Skills to Keep Up, Stay Calm, and Get Organized at Work and at Home Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHoly Shift!: A No Nonsense Guide To Stop Fronting And Embody The Person You Were Meant To Be. Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLetters From A Better Me: How Becoming an Empowered Woman Transforms the World Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCorrect Thoughts (1126 +) to Eat Better, Feel Great, Get More Energy and Live a Healthy Lifestyle Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBeing You, Being Happy: How to Love Yourself and Achieve Your Dreams Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings926 High Level Utterances to Be Happy All the Time Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsConfidence for Success Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAvon Selling Secrets: Sales Tips from an Ex-Rep Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Don't Tell The Milkman If You Don't Want Him To Tell The World Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsYou Don’t Need to Be a Bitch to Be a Boss: How to Flaunt Femininity, Embrace Empathy, and Win with a Vengeance Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsOwn Your Story: A Journey of Self-Healing After Grief and Loss Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFriends and Family - An Affluent Lifestyle Portfolio Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBecause We Stand: A Book for Women... About Men Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Joy of Living - 7 Steps to Give up Worry, Open Your Heart, and Love Your Life! Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsYOU'RE W.O.R.T.H. IT! A QUOTE FOR EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBe Smart in Everything That Matters: Finance, Marriage, Lifestyle and Wellbeing Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCan We Talk?: Letters & Poems to Reclaim A Bolder You Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSelf-help Activators (837 +) to Be Yourself and Why It Matters Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Personal Growth For You
The Alchemist: A Graphic Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Big Book of 30-Day Challenges: 60 Habit-Forming Programs to Live an Infinitely Better Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 5AM Club: Own Your Morning. Elevate Your Life. Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Unfuck Your Brain: Using Science to Get Over Anxiety, Depression, Anger, Freak-outs, and Triggers Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Source: The Secrets of the Universe, the Science of the Brain Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Self-Care for People with ADHD: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Prioritize You! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Personal Workbook Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Mastery of Self: A Toltec Guide to Personal Freedom Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High, Third Edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Think and Grow Rich (Illustrated Edition): With linked Table of Contents Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Four Loves Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Girl, Stop Apologizing: A Shame-Free Plan for Embracing and Achieving Your Goals Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5
Reviews for Stand Up
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
Stand Up - René Banglesdorf
Introduction –
Learning How to Stand Up
My childhood started like most everyone else’s. I was blessed with two arms and two legs. Ten fingers and ten toes. A few months after I was born, my mom, a nursing student, noticed that my hip joints didn’t move correctly and reached out to a pediatrician. I ended up the recipient of metal leg braces, courtesy of the Shriners Hospital in Atlanta, Georgia. I’m told I wore them for most of my first year of life, and let me tell you, I am thankful I can’t remember that.
Those braces—and the trials, perseverance and faith they produced—are what gave me the foundation on which I stand today. I just didn’t see it as it was happening. Isn’t that the way of life? When we look back, our perspective grows and gives us a different hope for the future. Oftentimes, examining our survival illuminates an opportunity to help others.
That is the impetus for this book. I strongly believe women, all women—conservative and liberal alike—stand on the cusp of an opportunity to inspire change in the world around us and climb to new heights, pursuing our own dreams and legacies. On the heels of a woman running for president of the United States, an outcry for women’s rights around the world, and the unprecedented exposure of sexual abuse and harassment in every industry, the time to evoke change is now.
We have the opportunity—no, obligation—to not just lean in but to stand up. Standing is a posture of leadership and readiness. Standing up means that we move into a role. We quit making excuses or blaming others. We find our voice. We use our influence. We confront bullies and bickering. We defy the status quo.
I am not claiming to have it all figured out. I have by no means arrived.
I’ve heard courage is pressing through fear and doing something daring anyway. That’s where I am. I’ve taken the long, hard road to get here, and I sincerely hope by sharing my story, I’ll somehow encourage you to stand up, too. Because just when you get there, I’m probably going to need some more encouragement on my journey. We need each other.
Today, I’m a trailblazer in the aviation industry. I operate in a 99 percent male-dominated role: selling private jets. I’ve climbed some boulders, faced down discrimination, fallen flat on my face, and pulled myself back up again more times than I can count. I’ve had my very own #metoo story, I’ve nearly died a few times, and I’ve rebuilt a dream after dropping out of college to abruptly start a family.
Through it all—and sometimes when I didn’t even recognize it—the foundation of my childhood trials and faith has sustained me. Maybe you have a faith journey like mine. Maybe you don’t even know what that is. Either way, I think you’ll find nuggets of wisdom and encouragement in my experiences.
I’ve included how my faith fits into my everyday life because on the darkest days, I found solace in the stories and the words of the Bible. In knowing that those who went before me often faced bigger obstacles, more dire circumstances, and without knowing it, far greater opportunities for impact. I can’t imagine that many of them knew their stories would inspire billions of people hundreds of generations later.
The same is true for us. Our faithfulness in the seemingly little things today may have impact beyond our limited human comprehension. And the failure to engage those muscles, the talents we have been given, conversely could cost more than we could ever imagine. Now is the time to dig in. Make a difference. Take a chance. Stand up. I believe we are stronger standing together, and I’m so honored to join you.
Chapter 1 –
Making Choices
Taking a stand, exposing an atrocity, or pointing out an injustice should be applauded. But the real change comes not from the identification of the problem, but from the resulting solution. With the explosion of social media, gossip presented as news, and the #metoo movement, opportunities to attack others have exploded.
The opportunities to exhibit grace also have expanded exponentially.
My mama told me when I was little that if I didn’t have anything nice to say, not to say anything at all. There are a few politicians I wish had learned that lesson. Shoot, sometimes I wish I had listened to it better.
I say things I regret.
I also do things I regret.
Those things can have far-reaching consequences—something the sometimes-unsavory characters in the Bible experienced.
How we handle our choices matters.
This may be hard for you to read. You may have had choices made for you that violated you, demeaned you, destroyed your dreams or devastated your family. My intention is not to revisit your hurts but instead to show you how I progressed past my own rough experience.
I was date-raped in college.
There. I said it. I tried to think of a way to sugarcoat it, but that approach just seemed to contradict the brutality of the act. I can say it now without reliving it, which is a good thing. My prayer is that if you’ve also been a victim, you will be able to talk about it someday without terror or shame. I so admire the women I’ve heard speak about their experiences being trafficked and emotionally broken, who have been able to put their lives and dignity back together over time. It gives me hope for you no matter what you’ve experienced.
Please know I believe no behavior that violates another person is acceptable. And how I’ve chosen to handle my situation casts no judgement on how you work through yours. My prayer is that my vulnerability can help you make successive choices to move on with your life.
The night it happened, I was not in the library studying. I was not walking between classes in the dark. I was in a bar, underaged, allowing a hunky hockey player to buy me a drink, an amaretto sour. The perfect drink to drug because of the open container and mixed flavors.
I remember compliantly walking out of the bar with him. I have flashbacks of a beanbag chair in a dorm room. I remember him walking me back into the bar and depositing me with my friends, whom he told I had too much to drink.
When I awakened the next morning, fuzzy-headed and nauseous, I discovered bruises in places bruises shouldn’t be. I surmised what happened the night before, which was later confirmed through snide comments from the man’s roommate, who found it entertaining.
I felt like an idiot, embarrassed, and ashamed of myself. I didn’t report it. It is only now, when I see young women drinking themselves into oblivion, that I speak up. If I had not been breaking the law, using a fake ID to get into a bar and drinking underage, the likelihood of an incident like that would have decreased drastically.
I did not deserve to be raped. Nobody does. But I certainly didn’t do everything I could have to prevent the crime.
I chose not to report the rape. Mostly because of shame. Thirty years later, and no longer dealing with any of those emotions, I have no desire to prosecute or dredge up hard feelings. My way of dealing with this is my own. I have not walked in anyone else’s shoes. Assuredly I didn’t bring this up so I could say #metoo.
Going forward in each of our stories, we must not put ourselves purposefully into situations where our discernment is challenged, our defenses are weakened, or our paths can be distorted by someone else. If we want to leave a legacy of excellence, we must be on guard. We must set goals and plan for the future.
In Romans, Paul tells us, don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what He wants from you and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you
(Rom 12:2, MSG).
I want that. I want it for me and for you. For my daughter and daughter-in-law and sisters and nieces and everyone whose path crosses mine. I want people to see the best in me and you.
Interacting with God’s Word everyday gives us the fortitude to say no to poor decisions more often. Reading it, quoting it, praying it, singing it, memorizing it, using it to instruct or encourage others, questioning it, and meditating on it enables us to choose the right thing more often.
Avoid Vulnerable Situations
My rape in college was not the first time my choices put me in harm’s way. I was twelve the first time my life flashed before my eyes. My mom had allowed me to go with a friend’s family to Lake Erie. My friend and I, feeling pretty independent, grabbed a raft—actually a four-foot by eight-foot by two-foot chunk of Styrofoam—and set out to get a tan on the water. We were chatting away about boys and parents, not paying attention to our surroundings. When we looked up and could barely see the shore, we realized the wind was blowing our makeshift raft rapidly away from land.
The logical next step in our adolescent minds was to abandon ship and swim back to shore. The one we could barely see.
After swimming for as long as we could, treading water, floating, and yes, even praying, a rowboat appeared. Two fishermen dragged our waterlogged bodies aboard and motored us back to the dock.
How they found us or knew where we needed to go, I’ll never know this side of heaven. In retrospect, there were some life lessons to be learned from my near-drowning.
We can drift away from where we are supposed to be without even realizing it. And our next decisions can cause us to abandon the thing that will keep us from dying—spiritually, emotionally or physically. Each one of us has something in our lives that keeps us from the extraordinary, victorious, dream life we want. Nobody likes to talk about sin, secret vices, moral failures, or whatever you like to call it. But how we handle these variances makes the difference between mediocrity and excellence in our lives.
The opportunities to make bad decisions hit us from all directions. We can be drawn to illegal or immoral actions, like stealing from an employer, lying for a friend, or having an affair. But we also can fall into withholding our best efforts, conforming to societies’ less-than-ideal norms, or settling for mediocrity.
In an age where we can examine infinite possibilities and get nearly anything we want instantly—or at least with two-day free shipping—we face temptation more than ever before. While everyone is different, how we handle some common things can make all the difference in our lives.
Beware Comparison
I can’t help it. It just happens. I compare prices.