All is Well Within My Soul: Finding Peace and Purpose in the Aftermath of Abuse
By Vicki Haidek and Tamara Pray Frazier
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About this ebook
All is Well Within My Soul ~ Finding Peace and Purpose in the Aftermath of Abuse; the first book by Author, Vicki Haidek chronicles the journey of a domestic abuse SURVIVOR whose familial foundation was marred by tragedy, trauma and abuse, resulting in a broken young woman who was struggling to find her way. Losing her mother to prison at a young age, teenage pregnancy, and a marriage at 16 served as a precursor to years of marital abuse, violence and emotional upheaval that ultimately landed her in prison. In this powerful story, the author uses her personal testimony to empower, uplift and educate young women and men on the early warning signs of abuse, and to encourage survivors that there is peace and purpose on the other side of pain!
This highly anticipated release, co-authored by Tamara Pray Frazier is a redemptive story of abuse, tragedy, and RESTORATION and can serve as a powerful voice in the quest to silence domestic violence.
Vicki Haidek
Vicki Haidek, a multi-tasked Tax Professional with more than 22 years’ experience is an Author, Motivational Speaker, and Domestic Violence Advocate. Having lived through the nightmare of domestic abuse, Vicki considers herself “a living, breathing testament of strength, resilience, faith and God’s favor.” Through hard work and determination, Vicki has regained, reclaimed and realigned her life after serving a five year prison sentence for the assault of her abuser. In her words, she had “reached a breaking point,” which is a message she speaks out against in hopes that she can encourage others to walk away from toxic relationships before they become violent and encompasses their lives.In her highly anticipated book, All is Well Within My Soul, Finding Peace & Purpose in the Aftermath of Abuse, Vicki uses her personal testimony to empower, uplift and educate young women and men on the early warning signs, and to encourage survivors that there is peace and purpose on the other side of pain!Vicki's future goals include expanding her organization, My Journey ~Stop Domestic Abuse and authoring more books that highlight the national epidemic of Domestic Abuse and living in the aftermath of trauma. Vicki presently resides in Quitman, Texas where she and her husband Brian are building and expanding Haidek's Farm, a cattle farm and produce garden.
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Book preview
All is Well Within My Soul - Vicki Haidek
All is Well
Within My Soul
Finding Peace and Purpose in the
Aftermath of Abuse
Copyright 2020 © By Vicki Haidek
with Tamara Pray Frazier
All rights reserved. This book may not be copied in whole or part without written permission of the publisher, except for brief passages cited for review purposes.
ISBN: 978-1-7361667-1-0 (hardcover)
978-1-7361667-0-3 (paperback)
978-1-7361667-2-7 (ebook
Cover Art by: Tunisa Rice
Copies may be ordered from:
www.myjourneysda.org
All is Well
Within My Soul
Finding Peace and Purpose in the
Aftermath of Abuse
Vicki Haidek
with Tamara Pray Frazier
Dedication
For Araceli…
While you are no longer here in the physical, I still feel your presence every day, guiding, and encouraging me to believe in myself and take control of my destiny. You believed in me and invested in me; you never asked for anything in return except for me to Journey On and make a difference in the lives of other victims of domestic violence. I will never stop working to make sure our mission at My Journey Stop Domestic Abuse is fulfilled and your kindness is paid forward. I love and miss you every day…
Vicki
Acknowledgements
THANK YOU first and foremost to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. You have done a mighty work in me! Thank you for loving me through all of my faults and frailties and for forgiving me over and over again as I struggled to find my way. You are my light in the darkness and I would be nothing without you.
Shonda Mickel, I sincerely thank you for allowing God to use you 27 years ago when I was released from prison. If you had not believed in me and trusted the God in me I don’t know where I would be. You took a chance on a convicted felon and taught me everything I needed to know in preparation for me to one day work for myself. It is because of you that I now run a successful Income Tax Business and that gift of entrepreneurship has been the cornerstone to every subsequent business I have birthed. You have always been more than a boss; you are a trusted confidant, sister and friend and I sincerely thank you for the laughter, lessons and most of all, Love.
Tamara, I know I tell you this all the time, but I want the world to know that I love you and appreciate you for everything; from birthing this book to keeping me grounded and focused. I thank God for allowing our paths to cross yet again.
As iron sharpens iron, one man sharpens another
~Proverbs 27:17
Table of Contents
Foreword
Prologue: Pardon Me, Please
The Honeymoon Phase…
Tension Building Phase
The Explosion
Back to the Honeymoon
The Calm
Epilogue
Photos
Foreword
The warden said, Young lady, what is wrong with you?
Asking that question to a wounded child no matter their chronological age who has endured physical, emotional, or sexual trauma only inflicts more trauma on the individual. Immediately, judgement is imposed on the individual.
According to the National Child Traumatic Stress Initiative 2 out of 3 children reported at least one traumatic event by age 16. Other people, like the author, have possibly experienced more than one traumatic event by age 16.
Childhood trauma significantly impacts a child’s emotional health and neurological development. Research has proven that complex trauma changes or alters the brain of the affected child.
Focus for Health completed studies that reported grave statistics.
• Incarcerated women were almost twice as likely to report a history of childhood sexual or physical abuse compared to those not incarcerated.
• Almost half (5 out of 10) of those pregnant as teenagers have a history of childhood sexual abuse.
• A study of individuals in an inpatient alcohol detoxification unit found 81% of women and 69% of men disclosed a history of sexual and or physical abuse.
• People who experience violence as children, including physical and sexual abuse, are more likely to drop out of high school (Girls by 24% Boys by 26%).
The vulnerability and courage that Vicki Haidek expresses while sharing her story is paramount considering her troubled upbringing. Although her life from childhood through a portion of adulthood has been characterized as turbulent, there has remained one constant or anchor during those tempestuous times – her unrelenting faith in God.
For those reasons, I am both humbled and honored to pen this foreword. My sister in Christ, Vicki Haidek, is a supreme survivor of childhood atrocities who unintentionally welcomed all stages of domestic violence into her world. Her words are heartfelt, painful, yet sincere; therefore, I am proud to introduce an eloquently crafted piece that will challenge us to prioritize our thoughts. Let us always seek to understand first, rather than to judge.
The warden said, Young lady, what happened to you?
Tamara Bogan,
Licensed Psychotherapist
Prologue
Pardon Me, Please
Good Afternoon.
My name is Vicki Golden and I am a Survivor of Domestic Abuse. I am writing to you because I seek a solution to some very debilitating issues I have been battling for the last 25 plus years. I’ve tried to deal with them on my own; through counseling and advocating for other victims of abuse. I’ve prayed and sought help through the court system, to no avail. It is my prayer that I can reach someone of influence who has contacts from all walks of life; in the hopes that they may know someone who knows someone who can help me. The strong woman of God that I am today is a living, breathing testament that no matter what set of circumstances life hands you, if you have the will, there is a way out. Today I am living an amazingly beautiful and full life despite having lived through a 17-year cycle of physical, mental and emotional abuse that started at a very young age. I am living, loving, and learning to laugh in the face of adversity because the Violence in my life was not victorious! Those Problems did not prevail! My Trials did not triumph and all the Battering and Bruises did not break me! I am living my life in spite of everything that I went through and continue to go through in the aftermath of domestic abuse; yet one issue drags on doggedly.
I have lived the nightmare of domestic abuse and through God’s grace and mercy I survived! Not only did I survive but I have been able to recover a large portion of my life or should I say I have been able to begin living a real life, for my life prior to the violence was marred with tragedy and abuse as well. My story is one of triumph over adversity when so many of life’s cards were stacked against me and continued to build up until I had a huge mountain of despair staring me in the face at the age of 21. I was a young wife and mother of three and I was placed under arrest as I stood in front of police officers covered in my husband’s blood—charged with aggravated assault. But to understand how I arrived at that heartbreaking place at such a tender, young age, I will have to take you back to my childhood and visit my upbringing; losing my mother to prison at an early age, rape, teenage pregnancy and marriage to my abuser at 16; a man almost twice my age…Prison. I have overcome so much adversity in the twenty years since my release. No, it hasn’t been a bed of roses but I’m still standing! I’ve made many strides, yet there are still many rivers to cross; namely the doors that constantly close in my face because I am a convicted felon. There are so many things I have yet to experience in this lifetime and would love the opportunity to try. While I love being an entrepreneur I would love the option of going through the entire job interview process, but I have yet to get past the application phase. I know for many this is a small thing but I guess it’s the little things
that everyone else takes for granted that escape me. I’ve consulted with many agencies, and sought the advice of many experts, but none thus far has been able to tell me how I can fix the important things that are still broken in my life. With God’s help I’ve managed to repair many of the broken relationships that were lost. He’s allowed me to forgive myself for so many things; namely, undervaluing myself and staying in broken relationships. I only pray there is an answer to how I can break down the barriers that bar me from the simple comfort of hearing