Remember The Nails: 40 Days Doing Something Uncomfortable on Purpose

Copyright

All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced in any form, in whole or in part, without written permission from the author.

Cover art by John Hoke

Edited by Sylvia Warner

All Scripture taken from the NEW AMERICAN STANDARD BIBLE®, © Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation.

The NASB, NAS, and New American Standard Bible are trademarks of The Lockman Foundation.

Used with permission.

Wellsprings of Freedom International is an incredible ministry led by Tim Howard and Brian Burke.  There are references to their ministry in my testimony.  I’m humbled the Lord introduced their ministry to me.  I highly encourage your church partner with this awesome ministry and if possible, support them financially.  Their website is:

https://www.wellspringsoffreedom.com/

Acknowledgements

Thanks to Sylvia Warner for her incredible editing skills.  John Hoke for his professional graphics, cover design and willingness be extra creative.  Thanks to Brian Burke, Tim Howard for listening to God’s heart and starting Wellsprings of Freedom International ministry.  It’s amazing and God is using your ministry to bring freedom to many people including myself.

Additional appreciation to the leaders at Greenville (MI) Community Church including Pastor Bryan and Kara Savage, Pastor Ryan and Alyssa Ramsey, Pastor CJ and Rachel Maurer and Children’s director Sarah Devries.  Sarah allows me to be a big kid and work in her ministry!  Thanks to my wife Cindy for being supportive during the entire book writing process.  She is a true gift from God.

Introduction

Welcome to Seek : Lead more by example, Less by opinion.  This book covers a journey God revealing a topic rarely covered in my experience as a Christian: Spiritual Warfare. 

That statement conjures up scenes from popular movies featuring spirits, demons and cults.  Other examples are shown on TV where people experience shaking, screaming and other out of control scenes.

Although those are common concepts most people know about demons and spiritual warfare.  My hope, as you read through my account, you’ll realize God will display more Love, bring scripture alive and make it practical.  Some of the benefits include less daily interference and more confidence in my Christian walk.  There is also a greater focus on prayer.

As I researched and read books I found practical examples yet felt sharing my personal story could help others.  The examples God revealed could help people realize there are others in the world achieving freedom in Christ.  I learned a lot through this experience including leaning on the Holy Spirit to help you grow deeper in your walk.  Your relationship with Jesus Christ will be deeper and more enriching. 

God bless,

Steve Schofield

http://www.ponderingthought.com

Theme Verse, Subtitle Backstory

My youngest son graduated from High School and after his graduation festivities, my wife and I had more time to do different things.  After 30 years having a summer to relax was different.  During this time I felt the call to help anyway I could at my church, I was not sure where.  The children’s ministry had a difficult time getting volunteers. 

Ironically, a few months prior, I felt a prompt to serve in a ministry where I didn’t need to lead and could assist.  I mentioned our churches children’s director the Holy Spirit prompted me to help and had two specific items to pray about:

Children’s leader makes a list of helpers we could pray over

Help for a while, no specific timeframe, just help

As fall came around, I was filled with the Holy Spirit.  I had been a Christian for several years and the Holy Spirit was convicting me like He did when I was a new Christian.  Instead of sending short, targeted prayers to our prayer chain, I was sending one or two pages in length. A few people mentioned it was a little overwhelming.  I politely disagreed since I was so on fire for the Lord. I understand their perspective though.  This went on for a few weeks.  I was having fun working with kids and teaching on Sunday to a large group of usually 40 – 60 kids.

I was explaining to a friend the situation about being overwhelmed with the Holy Spirit.  It was a little intoxicating being so full of the Spirit.  Our conversation led to the saying Lead more by example, Less by opinion, I also told my friend the theme verse was laid on my heart:

Matthew 6:33 (NASB) But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

After our discussion, I felt relief my goal about having the children’s leader make a list of helpers.  My prayers sent to the prayer chain were less frequent as well as shorter.  Apparently, being full of the spirit is a good thing, God is the only one who can handle sustained, lengthy prayers on a frequent basis (my attempt at humor).  As with previous times in my Christian walk, I sensed God had me on an adventure. I didn’t know what His plan was.  So far I only had the theme verse and sub-title.

Title Backstory

Our student pastor was preaching a sermon titled Seek and Serve.  I met with him the following week to ask advice on a community project I coordinate.  His sermon was convicting and helped answer a few questions. 

The sermon was preached several months after the theme verse and sub-title was revealed.  Ironically, his sermon started with Seek.  I was serving in Children’s ministry and investigating a new ministry being launched at my church yet the word Seek kept coming up.

As with previous book writing adventures, keywords for the Title, Sub-title and Theme verse were revealed and re-enforced clearly enough for my simple mind to go ok God, I get it.

I didn’t quite have all the information, but the words Seek : Lead more by example, Less by opinion were tentatively the name of the book.  I prayed and waited for God to guide me which direction I was supposed to go.  As you read on, it took a few months and God revealed the entire story as with previous journeys.

My walk with Christ until now

Have you wanted to experience the true freedom in Christ talked about in scripture? Let me share my journey up until this point.

Have you ever had a feeling you could not explain, but you knew was right?  The feeling was not there constantly, but in certain occasions the feeling surfaces.  The feeling could be negative and only happens during stressful situations.  Another example: performing work as the hands and feet of Jesus, distractions or hurdles get in your way.   

Since giving my life to Christ in August 2005, the Lord has been active in various forms.  The first couple years he was un-doing anger, bitterness and habits from my life prior to accepting Christ.  One of the ways he gifted me was writing.  I discovered after writing my testimony that God was actively grooming my talents in writing as I administered an internet website six years prior, starting in 1999.

Writing poems became more frequent.  God showed me through Holy Spirit-inspired writing being able to clear my conscience.  Regardless, if it was studying specific Bible sections or a journey I was on, a key word or phrase would appear and something would prompt to write a poem.  This was usually during quiet times, (3 am to 6 am was normal). Yeah….I lost some sleep!

This would help resolve whatever was troubling within my spirit.  Writing provided temporary relief when negative thoughts, guilt, shame or temptation returned.  Other emotions, distractions would come up occasionally.  My spiritual walk with Christ would take me on a journey eventually writing four devotional books.

The first book, 52 Pickup: These words I give to you to share with everyone , was a collection of poems, which included my testimony.  I remember it being uncomfortable letting others know I accepted Christ as my Savior.  One of the main thoughts was I would not be accepted by family and friends.  This was a strong emotion.

The same feeling has appeared as I was preparing to write this account.  Through experience, I know God will exceed my expectations and use it for His kingdom.  Publishing 52 Pickup gave me confidence in my faith and took away my fear of sharing with others.  The theme verse of 52 Pickup was:

Matthew 10:32-33 (NASB) Therefore everyone who confesses Me before men, I will also confess him before My Father who is in heaven.  But whoever denies Me before men, I will also deny him before My Father who is in heaven.  I want to be counted as one who witnessed in front of men.

After 18 months of learning many lessons, including God performing countless miracles of all shapes and sizes, there remained a seed of doubt, a reminder every so often. I thought: This wasn’t good enough, you have not sold many books. Was it really successful?   This made me feel in-secure, doubting my efforts and thinking life really had not changed.

I ended up giving many copies away and sold a few. I could not escape frequent negative feelings, doubt, in-security and comparing my book to others, like popular books made it into movies, sold millions and made the author rich (by earthly standards).  I frequently asked and prayed, what are your plans for this book?

As my walk with Christ continued, God provided an opportunity to travel to Israel with a group from my church.  There were attacks by the enemy while in the Holy Land,    including temptation, and doubt of my true love and commitment to Christ.  This was a trip of a lifetime, experiencing many places Christ walked.  The doubt, shame of past sins, current questions of efforts working in ministry thoughts came up during and after the trip.  The similar words of doubt, shame, temptation of the flesh, and others remained. 

The feelings were not constant at times but they would humble me and try to distract from serving.  Coming back from mission trips, extra special times where I served.  I came to expect the next day or so for depression to happen.  Something odd like an appliance in my house would break or some blocker at work causing extra grief.  There were frequent distractions, yet the love of our Heavenly father would show up strong.

The Lord showed up big after my return from Israel.  He started me on a journey that would eventually be my second book, Remember the Nails : 40 Days doing something uncomfortable on purpose .  This was another 15 – 18-month journey.  The story was about getting people out into our community and praying before my hometown’s annual festival.  The Lord used to pick up garbage to convict people to go out into the community.  This was an un-orthodox method.  People wondered, why are you doing this?  I’m glad you are passionate about getting into the community, yet picking up garbage?

After completing Remember the Nails . the same questions arose including doubts, shame and the question: Is this book good enough?  I questioned God many times, what is the purpose of Remember the Nails?  I never fully received an answer.  I was demanding answers and never fully appreciated the journey, although, to this point, God revealed many details which helped my faith and knowledge to grow in Christ. 

As my walk continued, God offered another challenge.  It was the middle of winter and this challenge had me face a lifelong fear of swimming.  By this time, I knew what to expect. My prior experiences taught me the Holy Spirit was involved.  I was to write a book called One Reason, 21 Days to a new Beginning .  I felt a clear challenge to participate in a Sprint Triathlon.  This involved a 400-yard swim, 11.8-mile bike ride and 5k run.  From the start, when God revealed this challenge, I uttered the words…. Really?

As my training proceeded, many seeds of doubt, including are you going to survive?  This was scary!  The experience in the beginning involved fear, doubt, shame, feelings of in-security as I could not master various skills and techniques.  Every time I got into the pool, a thought of inferiority would prevail.  This was tough although I was determined to complete as God made it clear from the start.  I did not know how or why.  During this time, my small group was studying Romans.  Romans 12:1-3 helped show it was ok to be different, especially Romans 12:2.

Romans 12:1-3 (NASB) Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.  And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.  For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith.

As with One Reason, God was with me throughout the entire journey.  I completed the triathlon successfully and achieved what I felt God called me to do yet something was nagging that I didn’t fully understand.  The same questions as prior books came up.  I resigned myself to accept questions of doubt, in-security, being inferior, not meeting some false expectation.  Negative feelings, seeds of doubt and overall impression although it was a good effort, it was not good enough was the overall impression.

As I wrapped up my third book, God presented another saying 33: About the Letter C .  This was a different journey, like the second and third books although one major difference.  God had me witness the journey of my mother and father’s battle with his cancer.  This journey started in March of 2013.  It was a strange feeling being challenged to write a book about something not directly happening to me.  It was an enlightened journey, writing 33 poems all starting with the letter C.  I could not escape the previous questions and internal comments.

Are you good enough?

Was the book good enough?

Compared to others, this book is yet another failure, why do you continue?

I hope you get the idea, no matter how many books were written or positive comments I received.  No matter how many classes I taught, how many people I prayed for, how open and honest I was.  There lingered a nagging inner battle with my conscience.  Through experience after experience, I knew something was there.  I could explain symptoms knowing the feeling would eventually subside, but doubt remained.

Jesus says about we will have struggles on earth (John 16:33) anytime something is in scripture, especially from Him, explaining a concept.  I’ll accept and deal with it the best I can and continually pray.  Jesus also talks about his Yoke is light in Matthew 11:28-30. 

To set the level of where I was in my faith. It had been 12 years since accepting Christ.  I was well into my walk with Him, being an active Christian despite seeds of doubt, in-security, control among other bad habits.  I took these suggestions to be normal since we live in a fallen world.  I did not focus exclusively on bad, just accepted it was part of being a Christian.

As my faith and knowledge grew experiencing these negative feelings was so familiar, it was almost like I had an inner circle of different perspectives in my mind.  When a situation would arise, there were many opinions and many of them not very nice.  By this time in my walk, to keep my conscience clear, I would be bluntly honest.

Being blunt came naturally and I became accustomed to honesty is the best policy .  Regardless of the situation, I could be counted on to provide a direct, honest and mostly loving account or opinion.  The longer this went on,