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    Rat Tales: Insomnia Inspired Pet Stories
    Rat Tales: Insomnia Inspired Pet Stories
    Rat Tales: Insomnia Inspired Pet Stories
    Ebook79 pages36 minutes

    Rat Tales: Insomnia Inspired Pet Stories

    By Stephen Holton

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    About this ebook

    Whether we like to admit it or not, most of us talk to our pets. I'm in a rather stressful and sometimes exhausting profession - which leaves me up and working all manner of unusual hours and, as a result, somewhat prone to sleep deprivation and periodic bouts of insomnia. This said, it doesn't take much (with a little imagination and the benefit of a few after-hours beverages) for these little friendly "talks" I would have with our family pets to become somewhat surreal. Originally these stories were collected from various postings I had made to the newsgroup for the local rattie-community. They have been assembled here - with the intent of providing a humorous insight into life as the monkey-servant to an Alpha-rat and his entourage.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherLulu.com
    Release dateMar 30, 2011
    ISBN9781257270057
    Rat Tales: Insomnia Inspired Pet Stories
    Author

    Stephen Holton

    Stephen Holton is an Episcopal priest who lives and works in the Hudson Valley region of New York. The son of a U.S. diplomat, Holton grew up in six different countries with his parents, his brother, and his sister. In 1989, Holton was ordained to the Episcopal priesthood, and also was married to his wife Charlotte. In the years since then, with their sons, they've lived and served in several different parishes-one a long-term position as rector of Saint Paul's on the Hill Episcopal Church in Ossining, New York, and a number of interim and associate positions, also in the Hudson Valley. In 2013, Holton earned a Master's degree in sacred theology from the General Theological Seminary in New York City. Based on his deepening understanding of the connections among worship, music, and human connection, he formed a group called Warriors of the Dream in Harlem, which used drumming as a vehicle for stimulating sacred conversation centered on Dr. Martin Luther King's dream of the beloved community. Today, Holton's work draws on partnerships among friends of many faiths, from which he derives a rich sense of spiritual nourishment.

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      Book preview

      Rat Tales - Stephen Holton

      book

      Forward

      Whether we like to admit it or not, most of us talk to our pets.

      I’m in a rather stressful and sometimes exhausting profession – which leaves me up and working all manner of unusual hours and, as a result, somewhat prone to sleep deprivation and periodic bouts of insomnia.

      This said, it doesn’t take much (with a little imagination and the benefit of a few after-hours beverages) for these little friendly talks I would have with our family pets to become somewhat surreal.

      I originally started writing the outcomes of these discussions as a series of e-mails/status reports to the rattie-community in Montreal when I found myself providing a foster-home to three sick rats while their primary care-giver/rescuer was away for a weekend camping trip. Several of the community members were concerned about the welfare of these little creatures so I would provide regular status reports via an e-mail list and I quickly discovered that my rat-to-monkey translator was a hit.

      Eventually, when my wife Kim and I acquired rats of our own, I discovered that I still possessed a working translator and, over the following year, I posted many of the stories you find here to our local rattie list (hence the reason why many of them have an introduction/setup).

      As I’ve always maintained – the events in the stories that you are about to read are completely true; only the facts have been changed for the benefit of the story, clarity, etc.

      For those of you who do not already tend to rats – I would probably sum them up as smelly, slothful creatures that are preoccupied with food and sex (not unlike teenagers).

      In all seriousness however, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that rats are friendly, affectionate pets and each seems to have a distinct personality and mannerisms (something I did not expect from a colony focused creature).

      Unfortunately our little fellows have all passed on – but the stories of their antics have provided a great source of entertainment for our friends, family and the rattie community.

      As a result, I’ve compiled the stories here in this book – so they can continue to be shared – and the proceeds will be donated to the Small Victories Rodent Rescue in Montreal (which you can learn more about at the end of this book or by going to http://mooshika.org).

      All we want is love…

      As some of you already know, our home is shared with four squishy boy-rats. We have Pops (a grumpy old-man who’s fathered a litter) and Jack (an oblivious, Dilbert-like rat-engineer) - each living in separate cages, as they don’t always play well together.

      Of course there are also the original tenants: Hector and Newton (also affectionately known as The Resident Evil and 8 of the 16-feet of hunger). Hector is the Alpha; Newton is his ever-loving (and somewhat simpleminded) sycophant. They happily live together (with Jack and Pops) in the downstairs family room.

      As with most mornings,

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