Guide to Child Protection Mediation - Second Edition

Guide to Child Protection Mediation (Second Edition)

By:

Paul James Brown

© 2018 Paul James Brown

paulbrownmediation.com

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any process – electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise – without the prior written permission of the author.

Published By: Paul James Brown

Edited By: Nick Halmasy, MACP, Registered Psychotherapist

Stephanie Rudd, B Comm, J.D.

Cover Design By: Jeff Tidd of JET Media

Paul Brown Mediation Logo Design By: Leslee Uddenberg

Printed in Canada and the United States of America by Lulu Press Inc.

ISBN 978-1-387-60041-0 (paperback)

ISBN 978-1-387-66924-0 (e-book)

Author's Note:

All of the stories and/ or examples in this book are based on actual experiences. The names may have been changed to protect the privacy of the people involved.

This book is dedicated to the clients we serve. That includes workers, lawyers, and most importantly, families. My hope is that by Mediators, Child Welfare Specialists, and Community Service Providers reading this book, it will help level the playing field so that we provide a better service to our families.

Helping families is why we do this work... PJB

FOREWORD

Before she became a judge, Madam Justice June Maresca was my primary mentor when I was learning to become a family mediator. At that time she was pioneering something new in Ontario; the idea of using mediation to empower families and Children’s Aid Societies to work together more effectively for the sake of children whose lives they were affecting. June Maresca’s passion for excellent process and her commitment to helping families are reflected in the materials used today to train new child protection mediators in Ontario.

Some ten years later, now a mediation trainer myself, I had a passionate and committed young student.  A former child protection worker, Paul Brown stood out with his no-nonsense, direct, and sometimes unconventional approach.  This was someone who knew what he wanted to accomplish as a family mediator.

The second edition of Guide to Child Protection Mediation stays true to the five key principles that informed Justice Maresca’s work:

privileging the principle of party self-determination;

continuous awareness of the harm that can occur as a result of power imbalances;

knowledge of the powerful impacts of emotion and culture in family dispute resolution;

absolute respect for the craft of mediation;

and most importantly, keeping the children at the top of the triangle.

Well-written and well-organized, the 2nd edition of Guide to Child Protection Mediation is a valuable resource for child protection mediators new and experienced. Updated to reflect the changes in the 2018 Child, Youth and Family Services Act, this book explores all aspects of CP mediation within its legal, procedural and organizational contexts. Simply and clearly written, the Guide reflects the deep experience of someone who has conducted hundreds of child protection (and other family) mediations.

The Guide covers all the basics of contemporary CP med practice - from the governing legislation and policy directives, intake and screening, to the roles of all the players in this unique process. Paul provides practical guidance for CP mediators in working with the Office of the Children’s Lawyer, family members, supporters and cheerleaders; on the use of technology; and on ensuring the voice and rights of the child are always at the forefront.

In plain language and illustrated with examples, Paul explains the legal requirements for confidentiality, respecting the unique rights of children who identify as First Nations, Inuit or Métis, and Openness in Adoption . Drawing on his own diverse experiences as a volunteer firefighter, martial artist, father and former child protection worker, Paul shares tips for self-care for professionals working in what can be a traumatizing role.

It is also full of gems such as:

Tips for all mediators: If a parent struggles to find a strength (about another party in the mediation) ask them for a strength from the child’s perspective.

Lists to help clients come to mediation with realistic expectations

Strategies for empowering parties to be fully engaged participants in this challenging process

a useful summary of the don’ts of CP med practice and

handy appendices with precedents

Applying the five key principles listed above, the Guide challenges some conventions where, in Paul's experience, they are not well supported in principle or practice. Paul also does what all good mediators do – he demonstrates respect for different perspectives and honours the work of those who came before him.

The book is a thoughtful and practical contribution to what is still a new and evolving area of family dispute resolution practice in Ontario. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Hilary Linton

J.D., LL.M., Acc. FM., FDRP Med.

PREFACE

In 2017, I published A Guide To Child Protection Mediation in Ontario. That was the first edition of this book, and one that came about due to frustration. One morning while laying in bed, I began thinking of some of the practices of other Child Protection Mediators in the communities where I worked. Although I embrace the idea of customizing the approach to best meet the needs of families, I am also passionate about staying true to the fundamental principles of the process. My frustration was, and remains, a result of mediators being focussed on their own wants and needs, and not honouring the true spirit of mediation; to help people work together and to level the playing field.

In my frustration, I thought I'll show them. I'll write an article. Of course, the article would have then been posted on my website and in all honestly, very few people would have read it. Each week, I book Office Hours; a day when I am in the office reviewing files, writing reports, returning phone calls, and returning emails etc. Coincidentally, I had office hours booked that day and after getting my boys off to school, I started writing. After eight hours in front of my computer, I realized that I had way too much content for a simple article. It would need to be a book; this book.

Although I had written other books before, Guide To CP Med felt like the first real book I had written. My previous attempts at writing had either been chronicles of trips, or martial arts curriculums. Of course, writing and publishing a book was a learning process and within days of sending Guide To CP Med to print, I realized that I had missed lots of content.

Within two months of releasing the first edition, the second edition was already fifty pages longer. The book has been somewhat reorganized, some content dropped, and some areas have been expanded. Also, there have been changes at the Ministry level and in the legislation, and those need to be addressed in an effort to remain current.

I also learned that a title is important. Although Guide To CP Med is somewhat Ontario-centric in content, including in Ontario in the title limited my potential audience. I realized this while at the annual Association for Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC) conference in Boston, MA. My book was on display for sale and even though there were over a thousand people in attendance, I sold very few copies. That's one of the reasons why in subsequent editions, in Ontario has been dropped from the title. Also, although the legislative content is geared towards Ontario, the rest of the content is useful for anyone practicing CP Med in any jurisdiction.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you find this information helpful...

Sincerely:

Paul Brown, HonBSc, AccFM, CP Med

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Many people have helped with the progression of my mediation career, and with getting this book published. Some of them were sounding boards during the writing process, some helped edit the contents, and some helped keep me focused on the end goal. This book would not have been possible without the help of the following people.

First and foremost, I need to thank Nick Halmasy. Nick has been an incredible asset for me in my writing, and in discussing career ideas. He has reviewed and edited previous articles and books of mine, and also shared his perspectives from that of a Psychotherapist. I appreciate his insight, and his outlook. Our Irish Whiskey Strategic Planning Meetings are some of my favourite meetings to attend. Even though we sometimes get nothing accomplished, it's great to just bounce ideas off of one-another. Thank you, my friend. For more information about Nick, visit afterthecall.org.

Thank you, Carolyn McAlpine. It's great to have someone in my everyday life and practice that I can bounce ideas off, and with whom to discuss challenging cases. I always appreciate your input; even if your opinion is different than mine. And by different than mine, I mean wrong. haha. Thanks for always being direct, and holding me to task. For more information about Carolyn, visit kawarthacollaborative.com.

Hilary Linton of Riverdale Mediation in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Even before my career officially began, you were very encouraging of my goals. You continue to invite me out to coach and lecture at your courses, and help build my mediation reputation. You have also shown endless encouragement with respect to my writing. You are an excellent resource, and a good friend. Thanks Hilary. For more information about Hilary, visit riverdalemediation.com

Laura Stevenson, it's great to have a friend on the inside. Thanks for always being open to discussion about process, and how best to meet the needs of the Ministry, the agency, the facilitators and most importantly, families. I appreciate your willingness to listen, and your effort to help facilitate positive change. If only others on the inside had your vision...

Thank you, Carolyn Leach. You are the reason there are sections titled "Narrative" throughout this book. Your encouragement to share my experiences forced me to look more deeply at my writing, and at my mediation practice. You have also been great to work with, and an excellent resource when I have child-specific legislative uncertainties.

Thank you, Maryanne King. You continue to be a leader in the world of Openness Mediation. I truly appreciate your approachability, and willingness to help me find my rhythm in Openness Mediation. For more information on Maryanne, visit maryanneking.com.

My boys, Owen and Liam. You guys bring incredible joy to my life, and push me to be the best dad possible. Even during the toughest days, you continue to make me smile, laugh, and not take myself too seriously.

As always, my wife, Wendy. You have an incredibly patient spirit, and always encourage me to meet my goals; even when my goals sometimes take me away from home, husbanding, and parenting. You're the best! You are forever my rock, and help me find joy in each and every day. Thank you, and I love you, Babe.

MY STORY

My journey to becoming a mediator was anything but a direct path. The irony however is that as a young child, I always wanted to be a lawyer. Although I never became lawyer, I work hand-in-hand with them on an almost daily basis.

After high school, I studied Fitness and Lifestyle Management (FLM) at George Brown College in Toronto, Ontario Canada (In Canada, College refers to Community College and University is what most Americans refer to as College). When I graduated, I felt there was something missing. I had an excellent grasp on the physical body, but didn't know much about the mind. The FLM program dealt a lot with anatomy, physiology, injury prevention, and exercise prescription, but there was little focus on the psychological or emotional wellness of our future clients. So, I graduated from George Brown on a Friday in Spring 1998 and started my Psychology Degree at Trent University in Peterborough Ontario on the Monday.

Four years later, I had a life and career changing event. At 11:20am on July 22, 2002, I was involved in a motorcycle accident. Someone made a left turn in front of me, and I t-boned their vehicle. My bike stopped immediately, however I flew over the car. I landed head first on the pavement on the other side of the car, and slid down the road. As a result of the accident, I was off work for over two years.

During those two years, I accelerated my psychology studies. Prior to the accident, I was attending school part-time. After the accident, my days consisted of physiotherapy, massage therapy, and school. I also worked very hard at the gym to help with my physical rehabilitation.

Mediation is a mandatory step in the Accident Injury legal process in Ontario. For that process, I spent a day in Toronto with my lawyers, lawyers for the insurance companies, a lawyer from the city in which the accident happened, and a mediator. Early in the day, we broke into separate rooms and when all was said and done, I only saw the mediator three times the whole day. At the end of the day, I remember thinking that even though there was a settlement, the mediator did very little, yet was very expensive. I thought to myself, That is a good job. Keep in mind, this was through the lens of someone in their twenties.

Around the same time, I received a continuing education brochure from Trent U. A certificate in mediation was one of the options, and I immediately signed up. There were two compulsory credits, and one elective credit necessary to receive the certificate. For my elective, I chose Family Mediation.

In Fall 2004, I went back to work, and in December of that year, I began working in Group Homes. One year later, I began working at Hastings Children's Aid Society (HCAS) in Belleville, Ontario. Also in December 2005, I graduated from Trent University with an Honours Bachelor of Science Degree in Psychology. I continued with my mediation studies while working at HCAS, because I knew my career wouldn't end there.

On November 30, 2006, another career-changing event; Bill 210 became law. Language was added to the Child and Family Services Act allowing for mediation as a means of working with families. Suddenly, my professional life came into focus. I would become a Child Protection Mediator...

As part of my journey, I also served for almost ten years as a volunteer, on-call firefighter in a rural community. Currently, I am an active member of After The Call, a Critical Incident Stress Management Team for First Responders. As a team, we assist emergency services with pre-incident planning, and debriefing after particularly challenging calls-for-service (eg death of a service member, fatal accidents, death of a child etc). These experiences have better equipped me to help families going through their own crises and trauma.

Today, my private practice is known for its specialty in Child Welfare Dispute Resolution but most importantly, my focus is on meeting the needs of families to create better outcomes; especially for children.

I'm sharing all of this because it demonstrates that you don't always need a straight line to reach your goals. In fact, sometimes the best outcomes come from diversity, struggle, and time. We often need to be reminded of this in order to better serve our families.

Disclaimer:

The opinions expressed herein are those of the author, and do not necessary reflect those of the Government of Ontario, the Ministry of Children & Youth Services, Ontario Association of Children's Aid Societies, or the Ontario Association for Family Mediation.

INTRODUCTION

Do you find yourself on autopilot sometimes when speaking with clients? Do you sometimes forget to share important elements of the mediation