The Volunteer's Non-Medical Novel - An Incredible Story of a Hospice Volunteer

The Volunteer’s Non-Medical Novel

by

Clark Goodrich

2nd Edition

Copyright © 2013 Clark Goodrich

All Rights Reserved

Dedication

Be honest with God,

Be honest with yourself,

Be honest with me,

And it may happen.

This work is dedicated to my girls.

The Volunteer’s Non-Medical Novel

Dedication

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty One

Chapter Twenty Two

Chapter Twenty Three

Chapter Twenty Four

Chapter Twenty Five

Chapter Twenty Six

Chapter Twenty Seven

Chapter Twenty Eight

Chapter Twenty Nine

Chapter Thirty

The Author

Chapter One

My breath stinks because my shoes are too tight. If I had it to do over again, I’d probably screw it up worse. My first memorable happening was rupturing a disk in my lower back. The fun begins. The first Doctor takes x-rays and says it is just a pulled muscle and rest is recommended and prescribed. After a few more visits and exercise sessions the discomfort continues, it was actually beginning to get very painful. This compelled me into getting a second opinion.

This led to the beginning to some interesting and enlightening happenings. The 2nd Doctor ordered a spinal tap along with four x-rays. The fun begins on the table when the machine breaks. I am in an interesting position. They’re fixing the machine but it is taking a while. They have already tapped my spine and the beaker of blood is on the cart in front of me. Naked with butt up and head down, I lost all dignity if I ever had any. There seems to be more people in the room than was necessary. Their nonchalant attitude would have been comforting and less stressful if they were not all smiling. Hang in there; we’ll have it fixed in a moment.The only thing hanging was apparent, when the towel slipped off my butt.

With all self respect now gone, they put me in a bed and the Doctor shows up.

How are you doing? I heard they had a problem but got it fixed in time. I will check with you later, but for now, do not lay flat or you will get one hell of a headache.

I noticed a Nurse standing a few feet in back of the Doctor. She was not part of the proceedings or conversation, she just stood there. The Doctor in attendance left and I waited to be wheeled to my room. In a few minutes the Nurse reappeared and tried to remove the pillow the Doctor had said to use to keep my head elevated. The comment was, I’ll just remove this so you can be more comfortable.

I told her that the Doctor had advised me to use it to keep my head elevated or I would get some bad headaches. She just looked blank and walked away. Lying there about 5 minutes or so, it seemed I must have looked like I was asleep. I felt someone trying to ease the pillow out from under my head. I opened my eyes and looked straight into the eyes of the same Nurse. She looked startled and left immediately.

How many sadistic people are in medicine? I asked a Doctor I knew well and his answer was too many.

A neighbor, who tried to crush or injure my hand, when we first met and shook hands, had a hell of a strong handshake. He also watched while his sons, about 9 & 10 years old, stoned an old hound dog. He was a medical technician.

How about an RN Nurse that wants to change a bandage? She gets two pieces of tape ready then rips the old bandage and the IV out of your arm with one rough grab. She then slaps the wad of bandage and new tape on. It hurts like hell. The wad of bandage was just enough to soak up the blood until it stopped. She does this regularly. She is the bitch of the ER.

As my wife and I were leaving the ER an elderly woman was whimpering, Please help me, I don’t mean to bother, I wet myself. I tried not too, but I’m so sick, where’s the Doctor, the pain is getting worse. I’m sorry.

The bitch of the ER said. I’ll get to you when I can. You’re not the only one in here.

She waited a few seconds, then she saw us watching as we were leaving and threw her pen down. Her paperwork was evidently more important than the patient. She headed for the pitiful old lady. We were the only two patients in the ER. There were various attendants, about half a dozen, nonchalantly visiting and doing a little straightening up. All could hear and observe, but seemed uninterested.

I got to that ER on this trip by ambulance which is the only way to go. My local MD prescribed a spine patch that really worked well until I started to suffocate. The ambulance team was the best I had encountered. These EMs made up for the other two times. When they put me in the ambulance, I saw the stretcher was already in a sitting position. (I can’t lay straight due to spinal injuries.)The IV was in my arm and a mask on my face before the back door was closed. The EM’S constant questions and comments kept me alert. This team could write a manual.

Now back to the ER. We left through the main entrance. We observed the less fortunate waiting for their emergency treatments. Going to an ER by Ambulance was as the only way to go.

Striding through the parking lot I noticed two teenage boppers swapping spit in the back seat of a car. They didn’t seem to know or care if anyone was watching. Oh how sweet, young love.

Going to a restaurant to celebrate my breathing again, brought an opportunity to express my also somewhat different reaction to irritating people. This restaurant is a cut above where we usually go, which is fast foods.

The waiting list is long and I began losing my good feeling. There they were, the sweet old couple, standing rigid, well dressed, with their noses up in the air and making audible judgments on the riff-raff they were subjected to wait in line with.

Some people don’t care how they look in public. You wouldn’t see this in our time. Its no wonder what this world is coming to.

With each remark she was grabbing the hand that was clutching her arm. Finally she turned to me, I was next in line and I couldn’t help myself, I had to remark in a voice more audible than necessary. I have clean underwear on!They walked out without their knees bending.

We were finally seated and wouldn’t you know, another sweeter than most couple had to know everyone’s skivvy size.When our turn came Mrs. Nosy asked And how many years have you two been happily married?

At least half," I answered, and tried not to smile as she just stared.

She would not let it go. Next came, Well, does your sweetheart have a pet name for you?

She usually calls me a horny bastard, I answered. He is now choking on his spoon while she starts eating like a robot.

A lady on the other side, who had been listening and not amused, remarked Well I never!I left that one alone.

We got up to leave and Mrs. Nosy’s husband leaned back in his chair and still amused he asked What do you do for excitement?

I thought for a moment and answered, Prunes can be exciting.This seemed to delight him, but it didn’t do anything for his wife. I thought she could use some prunes, but I didn’t say it.

An interesting trip to the hospital due to an earlier accident brought my attention to the fact that mistakes repeat themselves with efficient regularity. The patient in the next bed was found to have stomach cancer. Our beds had been switched and the records for them. My records were for spinal injuries. When they brought food I was told not to eat until some tests were completed.He was given a full meal and I knew there was a mistake and tried to explain to the staff. Each meal was the same for two days. I was told not to worry, I would get fed, which was some yellow jell-o and some milky crap. He ate and vomited after each meal.

There was no way I could get them to understand. Finally after two days, the Doctor came and explained why the patient next to me should not be fed regular food. He said the stomach cancer limited their menu to the jell-o and swill. The patient and I just looked at each other. The Doctor and about four others had all told him, it was his decision to be treated or not and that they would give him all the facts, but would not try to influence him in any way. He said No treatment and that unleashed a barrage of pressure by these non-influencing experts. They left for the moment.

The patient told me that at his age, he did not need to be cut on or anything else. He said I just went in to get a check up because I wasn’t sure if I had picked up something.

I live by myself in a mobile home park full of widows and I have regular company and they share everything with me and I mean not just food. (Although that part is good too.)I haven’t cooked a meal in I don’t know when. And if I don’t visit at meal time, it gets brought to me. I thought a check up for disease was in order, but I didn’t really have any signs that anything was wrong. I thought a blood test was all that I needed, but the Doctor said a full exam was ordered because it had been a long time since I had one. I have had a good life, I have never been cut on and I am not going to let them do it now, no matter what they say.

He was still holding his ground when I left.

My first night at the hospital was also interesting, but with a more pleasant happening... About shift change time that evening, an elderly patient across the hall became quite loud with complaints.

I need a urinal! My back hurts! My head hurts! I’m sick!

It was non-stop, and he was not answered by the staff, they just ignored him. A Nurse came marching down the hall and went into his room. She addressed him in no uncertain terms. "

I am not going to put up with you, or that, tonight, you just lay there and shut up or you’ll know the reason why. If I hear one more peep out of you its going to be bad!

She then went back to the Nurse’s station. The staff, now in shift change, is still ignoring what’s going on. They, walking by my position in the doorway, remarked to me, He’s happy now, she’s here, and that’s his favorite.

I went down and looked in his room and he was propped up on pillows and had a contented smile on his face. He had gotten the medicine he needed. It made the hospital stay a lot easier for me. We could all use a little of that kind of medicine.

I never understood why the head Nurses, in any area, never stop writing. They are easily provoked. Prior to getting directly involved in this business I seemed to be visiting people of medical needs quite often. This may have led to later involvement. While visiting my mother in a nursing home, she had suffered from dementia or so they said. I was mistaken for a patient. The aide insisted I take some type of drink.

Now Mr. Johnson, Its time for your chocolate milk.

No it isn’t, I repeated, and I am not Mr. Johnson.

Yes you are, now, let’s not have any problems.

No I’m not and we are going to have problems.

No matter what I said, she was determined to give me that drink. My Mother had a lucid moment said, This is my son and he is visiting me.

Still looking a little skeptical she went looking for Mr. Johnson. How do you keep from looking like a patient? I think I better start dressing a bit more reserved.

The patients all have one thing in common which I will probably mention again. They are all lonely. Any little thing can hold their attention. There was an insert from a magazine lying on the table. Each patient picked it up and tried to separate it like it was two pages stuck together. I gently said that is one big sheet from a magazine and you can’t separate it. They would just put it down and another would pick it up and try no matter what was said. They took turns trying and some tried more than once. One sweet lady tried to pick the flowers that were the design on the upholstery. She looked guilty when she saw she was being watched.

There was an elderly couple sitting on the same sofa in the small alcove when I walked in. The lady looked startled and immediately said, We weren’t doing anything! We’re just friends. If anyone says we were, they are lying. I wouldn’t do anything I am ashamed of, people have nasty minds. I know they’re talking but we’re just friends.

The man just stared blankly, he had no idea what was going on.

One of the terms used by the staff to greet the patients is How are we today? We? When I hear this, I imagine the patient thinking, I’m not worth a crap, and how the hell are you?

One patient, who I knew quite well, did give an appropriate reply to Can you eat for me today? She replied, How in the hell can I eat for you when I can’t eat for myself! The Nurse didn’t appreciate the reply and would have thought less of what I was thinking. Besides, you really don’t look hungry.

Listening to the staff and their canned comments I can’t help but think of smart ass replies. Like a Nurse telling a very old patient, You have to behave!

Behave from doing what? If there is any more behavior, rigor mortis would set in.

One that really got me was and attendant telling an old lady, You have a smile just like my mother.All I could think of was, She must have had gas too!

The nursing home had a pet cat. They said pet, but they would only allow a few people near it. It was sleeping on the lounge one day. When I sat down next to it, it spit, snarled and ran under the furniture. I couldn’t believe the lady’s remark, You just startled her. She probably really likes you. You probably have a way with animals.

I hated that cat!

My Mother passed away and I had some papers to fill out. One of the questions was What did she die from?

I told the clerk, You have to be kidding! She was ninety-seven when she died!

He said, Yes, but what did she die from?

Unbelievable! I finished that part off with She was a terrorist and got killed in a raid.He just stared at me for a moment and put something down. I don’t know what. We then went on to the rest of the forms.

My Mother’s final days were spent in a hospital. The staff at the nursing home became alarmed one evening and called for an ambulance. I don’t know what set them off but they made the right decision. I mention this hospital because I was quite impressed with their attitude and efficiency.

In talking with the Doctor I mentioned that the staff was more important to me than the equipment. He agreed. Trays of food at meal time were useless but were supposed to be delivered. I said no. She was about comatose and they respected that. I asked for ice and mouth swabs and they were kept constant. Paperwork was brought to me and the Doctor told the Nurse to witness all my signatures and give me complete cooperation. There were a few other things that went smoothly that could have been tiresome. Later on, as I was more involved in patient care, I realized how well and efficient that hospital was.

Over the years I have had dealings with five different nursing homes. The worst, as far as equipment, cleanliness, kitchen and whatever else you can name, was the best in the emotion of the patients. They loved it and the staff loved them. The state kept finding fault with this nursing home and finally closed them. I met a Doctor, sometime later, who was on staff there. He agreed that the patients were the happiest of any nursing home he was familiar with. He said they took in everyone that no one else wanted. They had all the flavors, all the emotions of a big family. In comparison, my aunt was in the most modern nursing home I had ever come in contact with. It was cold, stiff, antiseptic and sad. It was the last place you would ever want to put a loved one. The staff walked around like they had a frozen ram rod up their butts. The patients just stared. No smiles, no tears, just sadness. My cousin, her son, put her there against her wishes. He was always an arrogant little bastard and as he grew up he didn’t get any better with age.

While visiting my neighbor Jim in a Rehab section of another nursing home, he told me to be careful of one old lady in a wheelchair. She had already tried to fondle some old man and didn’t understand that what she attempted to do was wrong. There’s a full world in there, in these places, at least in the ones that are not run like a reform school for the elderly. They don’t need to be protected from themselves. Loosen up staff, and let them continue to live as best they can.

On leaving that day, I approached the nursing station on their blind side and caught two staff, homely male and ugly female, playing stink finger under the counter. Maybe I spoke to soon about this place. They looked quite angry at me, as if I had committed some offense. I just kept walking out, but we could read each other’s minds.

An activities director said she walked in on a male patient standing naked in the middle of his bed. He seemed to be proud of his whatever. She said You never know what you might encounter.She blushed each time she told the story.

Long time patient’s families sometimes get together with other patient’s families and help the care of the patients. When this happens, the staff usually lets them do their thing and everyone benefits.

Jim was in the nursing home with some kind of heart problem. I never did know what. He was one of the best neighbors you could have. If his wife saw me trying to do something that I should not (because I am limited on some physical activities), she would holler, Jim, Harry’s trying to do whatever!Then he would come running and take over.

There wasn’t any kind of maintenance he couldn’t do. Nothing bothered him, even the neighborhood pain-in-the ass dog. This dog was big, I mean really big, probably about seventy or so pounds. He was kept in the house but let out regularly by his owners to crap on the neighborhood lawns. The owners would stand in their front yard and observe it but allowed it. They never tried to stop this disgusting violation of other’s lawns. Jim just shrugged it off with What are you going to do? Why start a neighborhood squabble?

People like them have as much concern as their dogs. Twice a day the dog owner took his walk and always stopped to chat. I didn’t see the dog for several days and I asked him about it. He said, You can’t keep a big dog like him in the house, we had to get rid of him.He didn’t elaborate beyond this. Did you know that dogs always go back to their dumps to check them out? Did you know that Ex-lax comes in small quarter candies?

My neighbor Jim spent most of his time in his workshop and taking care of his property. His wife was a real sweet, motherly type woman who spent much of her time at Church or with Church projects. Her group of ladies did visits and other kinds of charity work. The rest of her time she spent cooking and feeding Jim.

Jim had a compulsion (I’ll call it that), for stating things that he said were in the Bible. I never instigated or offered comments on scripture, but that didn’t do any good. He was bound to make his know-it-all statements. I don’t know what got him off each time. His radio in his shop was on constantly, but never on religious stations. His wife never made any so called Biblical comments with all her time spent on church things, and he, who I don’t remember going to church, would never shut up.

I bring this up at this time because I have tried various churches over the years and even checked out the Buddhists. After years of this I decided to do some serious reading. For four months, I studied and read every word from Genesis to Revelation. Some folks I knew whose concepts were to believe every word, no substitutes or alterations, checked me every two weeks.

I really didn’t need this study but got started and kept it going until I had it all done. (I probably needed it more that anyone.)Once I started, I didn’t want to stop. This is rare for me to finish anything I start. I did discover that I could find most things I wanted to. Understanding them was another story. They contradict themselves and you have to read a lot of any one thing to understand or come close to understanding. Then you’ll find out that it never really contradicts itself. I looked into different publications and they didn’t change what they said after all, that I am not what I should be. I’m really not what I should be (I did do the studying,) but I don’t make excuses for it. I learned that, at least for me, each of us needs to do our own study. Good people are good people no matter what their label. I’m still working on it. I think I need another four months of study. Jim reminds me of a televangelist. They preach something and some of it is impossible to find in the Bible, in fact it looks like its not even close. I wonder about ministers from different denominations, like in monasteries and such. They spend their lives studying the same scripture and come up with different conclusions. Jim seems compelled to enlighten me. I can’t seem to discourage this. He will say, Did you know that the Bible says…

In his latest revelation to me, I gave the remark, "Where does it say that?

He answered, I don’t know where it says it, but I know it's there, you can count on that.

Jim, it doesn’t say that or anything like that. If you didn’t read it, where did you hear it?

Well I don’t remember, but I know it does say it.

He was back in the hospital with the same problem. I didn’t have all the particulars, but I still think it was his heart. I went to visit him and we went down the nursing home hall. I walked and he rode in a wheelchair. We stopped at the room of one of his friends. It was full of visitors. There seemed to be a family problem.

Now Charley, said a woman, Danny just had a little accident.

The other patient in the two person room exclaimed, Accident hell! He shit his pants and it stinks! Get him the hell out of here. I’ll smell that all day!

Jim just backed out and we went on down the hall. A lady was speaking to a patient in a wheel char had a dog on a leash and it was pissing on his wheels. This place is a circus!

Jim was always reluctant to give details on his hospital stays. He never stayed long and seemed all right when he got home. He had a swimming pool that was kept nice and tended to regularly. Neither he nor his wife ever used it but he would invite anyone over that wanted to use it.

After this last trip to the hospital, he went to work on his pool. A few neighbors showed up and we all set around as Jim worked. One neighbor, a buxomly red head showed up with her two kids. They all jumped into the pool as soon as they got there. Did you know that some white bathing suits, on a buxomly redheads get a little transparent when they get wet?(Satan, get thee behind me.)

The talk turned to the meeting scheduled that night at the high school. The meeting was to be about emergency situations, hurricanes, natural disaster, anything that could disrupt and be dangerous to our lives. The meeting was conducted by some county or state official. He reviewed steps that the governor would take and what we should do if a catastrophe lasted for any length of time.

Food could be a problem and this brought up pets. If food is rationed, what do we do about our pets, our cats and dogs? There were a number of comments on this. Among them were remarks about a special cat or dog being considered to be part of the family etc. After listening for a while to these pet owners and what they would and wouldn’t do with their precious pets, I had to comment that I would not like to see a dog or cat with someone in line for food and that they should consider having edible pets. No one liked the comment. I didn’t expect them to. We walked home from the meeting in little groups. One of my neighbors, who had a fat little terrier she always took everywhere with her, had walked to the meeting with us, but she walked home with another group. We still won’t speak.

Jim commented, "I can see most of your house and Dave’s and you two can see most of mine. We will try to keep our eye on each other. We need each other’s phone numbers to call if something doesn’t look right. We all agreed and it worked out good. Almost a couple days later, I noticed