Iron Beauties: Exploring the Psycho-Social Aspects Surrounding Muscular Women and the Men Who Celebrate Them

IRON BEAUTIES

EXPLORING THE PSYCHO-SOCIAL ASPECTS SURROUNDING MUSCULAR WOMEN AND THE MEN WHO CELEBRATE THEM

RICHARD & JAYNE GREYE

CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

Foreword I

By Jak Cratocles

Foreword II

By Femuscleblog

Introduction

1. That Moment When… : Reflections from Men

2. That Moment When… : Reflections from Women

3. FMG Authors and Artists

4. Sessions: The Muscle Underground

5. Sessions From a Female Perspective

6. The Industry

7. Couples That Arm Wrestle

8. Media & Future

9. True Beauty

Appendix A: Interviews with Male Muscle Worshippers

Appendix B: Interviews with Females Who Lift

Appendix C: Interviews with FMG Authors

Appendix D: Interviews with Male Sessions

Appendix E: Interviews with Sessionettes

Appendix F: Bodybuilding Relationship Interviews

References

About the Authors

Copyright © Richard & Jayne Greye 2020

Printed in the USA

The publication may not be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted by any means. This includes copying, recording, either electronic or mechanical, in whole or in part without prior written consent of the publisher except small quotations embodied in commercial reviews or other noncommercial issues permitted by copyright law.

Interior design by Kaos

Vellum flower icon Created with Vellum

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I would like to express a special thank you to my wife Jayne who helped interview many of the book’s participants, edited the manuscript, and as my motivation waned, encouraged me and took a co-author role. Even more so I owe her for helping me feel comfortable with my feelings. Her empathy allowed me to explore this area of my life and build connections to a community of individuals who share my feelings about strong, muscular women.

From that community, two fantastic authors — Kaos & Jak Cratocles — agreed to help edit the book and I am in debt to them for their patience and help. Finally, I’d like to thank the myriad of men and women who came forward to discuss their interest in muscle on the female form. Many of them.

FOREWORD I

BY JAK CRATOCLES

Billy Joel once wrote we all have a face that we hide away forever and we take them out and show ourselves when everyone has gone. This has never been more true than for men who admire and are inspired by muscular women. Female muscle admirers, especially in modern times, have had their masculinity questioned, their intellect impugned, and their social value maligned. Further, the sources of these assorted insults come from an almost overwhelming variety of sources: peers, family, self… sometimes even the women these men admire.

This view was particularly in my mind when Richard approached me about writing a narrative describing my own experiences with awakening to a fascination with female bodybuilding. Among my peers, I am fortunate enough to have found a group of people that is aware of my fetish and accepts it, even if they don’t all share it, but I can easily remember decades where my fascination with muscular women was held even closer to my vest than my social security number. I considered being open about my attraction to powerfully muscular women to be nearly as mortifying as being open about an alternative sexuality or gender assignment, and writing at length about my experience was the emotional equivalent of skinning out of my clothes and parading down the Las Vegas Strip in nothing but rainbow-colored paint.

Naturally, I jumped at the opportunity.

A little context may be in order, here. Amongst admirers of female muscle fantasies, I am a small name. Some of my work has become popular enough that people recognize it and are eager to express how much they like it, but almost no one recognizes me as the author at first glance, and my personal fame pales next to such giants in the industry as Richard Greye, David C. Matthews, and Roy Ellison; to have one of these titans ask for my input was both humbling and immensely satisfying.

As I wrote my contribution, Richard also asked me if I would assist in prereading and editing the book, something I’d done for him on several other books, most notably Stealing Muscle and Hard at Work, a pair of female muscle fiction anthologies written to support a variety of charitable causes, and Virtual Muscle, a novel focusing on a man’s discovery and exploration of his love for a muscular woman. Again, I was eager to assist.

Richard is a writer after my own heart; not satisfied to simply write off female bodybuilders or the men who admire them as aberrations, he dove into the history of how the sport has existed and evolved over time as well as how perceptions of muscular women and their admirers have shifted. He and his wife interviewed dozens of men and women, ranging across athletes, admirers, session aficionados and sessionettes, artists, and writers in order to develop the most comprehensive study of female bodybuilders and the people who admire them that I’ve ever seen. He has explored the demands of the sport and not shied away from describing the cost paid by both athletes and admirers, extending beyond the physical and financial demands of the sport and also exploring the mental and social demands the sport places both on competitors and on the largely anonymous group of men who support them.

He is also candid about his own experiences, making this book not simply a dry research tome, but a living text that shows the journey of the author as a part of the movement and not merely an observer. He has endeavored to demonstrate how his own fascination grew and how it has conflicted with the often-misguided messages his upbringing handed him. Perhaps most remarkably, while he offers a number of views, he refrains from giving a simple answer to questions that demand complex solutions.

I can’t promise you that this book will answer any questions you have; that is too ambitious a task. What it will do is show you the questions to ask and help you find your own answers. If you are an athlete, an admirer, or simply someone who seeks to understand this particular culture, this book will help you appreciate the struggles inherent in these lifestyles.

To revisit Billy Joel’s commentary: You may never understand how the stranger is inspired but you’ll give in to your desire when the stranger comes along.

- Jak Cratocles

Author of the Sylph series, co-author and editor of Super Musclegirls: Elf Girls Rock, and Virtual Reality Muscle, Hard at Work, and the forthcoming anthology Historical Muscle, and author of the novel Awake. Jak also maintains a DeviantArt site and a Patreon site to host his 3D renders.

FOREWORD II

BY FEMUSCLEBLOG

Women have advanced in the fields of politics, law, and science. Women’s history has studied female struggles, triumphs, and their roles in civilization. Suffrage, reproductive rights, economics, and social issues are common areas of interest in the historical narrative. There is a change in sexual politics that often goes unrecognized. A silent revolution has occurred without many noticing. Women are embracing sports, fitness, and exercise in higher numbers. Female participation in the Olympics had dramatically increased. Women’s football has a global audience. The change is not just the wider visibility of women’s sports; women are developing their bodies to higher level of physical prowess. The revolution is that women are building muscle and strength that could not be imagined centuries before.

Richard Greye has been a longtime female muscle fan and writer. He has on various platforms gathered artists, writers, and supporters of female strength. Through his vast knowledge he presents the world of the physically strong woman. Watching the rise of the muscular woman, he wanted to share information in a new way. Accounts from the women themselves are meticulously documented. Fans also state their motivations. Greye maintains a large connection to the fans and athletes through social media. This book will reveal a culture that is not openly discussed. Femuscleblog is happy to present a unique fan produced work. I started the blog as a place of appreciation of the female athletic form. Since then it has gone on to cover topics ranging from exercise physiology, gender politics, history, sports, and health. What attracted me to the muscular woman was the combination feminine grace and physical power. Since 2014, when Femuscleblog was launched more changes occurred. A new zeitgeist strong is the new skinny emerged. Female athletes in CrossFit were getting mainstream exposure. The Ms. Olympia contest was revived, despite the claims female bodybuilding was dead. The strong woman is clearly here to stay. I could not have imagined such a rapid acceleration .

Muscular women existed prior to the 20 th century, of course, but they were rare. They displayed their talents as strong women in circuses, vaudeville venues, and street performers. Muscular women did not have as much exposure compared to the 21st century. The internet and social media has given muscular women a bigger platform. The image of the muscular woman has generated feelings of love, lust, confusion, disgust, or fear. Women who seek to develop their muscles to the maximum face a range of obstacles, including cultural bias and opposition from the sport they participate in. Not all men accept a sexist gender order, and some are finding they rather enjoy the look of aesthetic muscle on the female form. Female bodybuilding has pushed the muscular woman to the mainstream more so than ever before. The sport itself has rapidly expanded with more divisions including bikini, fitness, figure, physique, and wellness. The mother of all of these was female bodybuilding, which showed the degree in which women’s physical capabilities could go. There is a large subculture that involves the fans and the athletes.

Through interviews and research a reader will discover what this community consists of. Artists and writers share their works related to muscular women. Fans who sometimes, called buffs in this work, express why the muscular female form is one they find beautiful. Male and female perspectives are documented with explorations into session wrestling. The media can either be helpful or harmful depending on presentation. There is a notable shift in the concept of strong woman both mentally and physically in popular culture. Girl power seems to everywhere, with the idea of females being main characters and protagonists. Concepts of beauty are also examined in the context of the sport. Taboo elements are discussed such as the fetish element and the misogyny present in the fitness industry. Questions arise from the rise of the muscular woman as an image. Could this be interpreted as a feminist statement, a symbol of women’s growing power, or a passing footnote in history? There is not a definite answer. The muscular woman could mean different things to many people. To fans they are the ultimate women that combine beauty, strength, and power.

- Femuscleblog

Femuscleblog is the author of Femuscleblog.com, a website dedicated to studying muscular women and how they are represented and affected gender politics, history, sports, and the science behind exercise physiology and health. His site opened in 2014 and, since the closure of Female Muscle Slave, has been the only site dedicated to a rigorous academic exploration of female bodybuilders.

INTRODUCTION

She wraps herself in strength, carries herself with confidence, and works hard, strengthening her arms for the task at hand.

-Proverbs 31:16-17

Women have been struggling to attain equality for centuries. Forced to comply with patriarchal views on womanhood and beauty, they have faced a host of issues. Lower wages outside the household, restrictions on occupations, more work in the domestic sphere, lack of educational, voting, and reproductive rights, and the lion’s share of responsibility for childcare are just a few of the hurdles women have faced. On average, women today in the United States still only earn 82 cents on the dollar compared to men. In an ‘apples to apples’ sense, where two workers may have nearly identical jobs, a woman would make only 91 cents to her male counterpart’s dollar. Thus, women are still 35 percent more likely than men to be in poverty, with single mothers facing the highest risk. A woman’s worth has historically been more related to the appeal of her body than the power of her brain.

Archaeological evidence suggests that the beauty standard for women in the Paleolithic Era was beyond curvy. Statues reflect women on the heavy side, with large breasts, wide hips, and a curved stomach. The Ancient Greeks changed this idea, calling pretty women ‘the beautiful evil thing.’ Plato determined the most beautiful were the ones that fit the golden ratio and their faces and bodies should thus be symmetrical. The Middle Ages were more practical with stronger, shorter bodies dictated by the nutritional and work requirements of the era. By the Renaissance, curvy was once again in vogue with ideal women having an hourglass shape, pale skin with flushed cheeks, and soft, round faces.

The Victorian era ushered in new expectations where the frail, weak look was fashionable. Women were to be placed on a pedestal and admired while whalebone corsets would literally mold their bodies into shape. Along with producing an ideal female body shape, corsets also produced lasting health problems for many women, specifically structural weakening in the spine and uterine problems. Ultimately the corset became a self-fulfilling prophecy; it moulded the ideal female body type, and also created a weaker female. As females were already regarded as the weaker sex, the corset simply magnified this natural assumption of female fragility. ¹ Lead, ammonia, and mercury-laden makeup completed the look men wanted and diminished women further.

The most recent century has produced a dizzying array of styles for the feminine form. The twenties brought in rail-thin, almost manly, lack of shape; afterward figures progressively became fuller and bustier. The late 1960s ushered in the era of the physically unattainable body that still remains fashionable today. The idealized beauty and body type of an American woman features large breasts, a big butt, firm legs, and tight tummies. 1972 brought the landmark legislations on Title IX of the Education Act and paved the way for parity in athletics. This was a sea change for women, allowing them to begin to break down the walls of the frailty myth, that they were physically incompetent. ² Throughout all of these stages in history, standards of beauty were based on drawings or paintings envisioned in men’s fantasies.

Even a woman’s mouth has been a measure of beauty. Ancient Greeks believed perfect proportions were ideal while Victorians believed tiny rosebud lips were most attractive and today women are getting collagen treatments to produce sensuous lips. Chasing the ‘ideal beauty’ has been a game umpired by the men and played by women with changing rules. Now, airbrushed photography and photoshop have made the standards even more ridiculous. Given the seemingly unwinnable contest, perhaps it’s not surprising that some women seem to want to quit the game and start their own.

But some haven’t given up so easily. Women building physical strength and muscle can be seen as the ultimate rejection of the male patriarchy. Occasionally, in the Victorian era and since, there have been women who built their bodies and were celebrated for developing ‘unwomanly strength’ such as Charmion and Vulcana. Proudly displaying their biceps alongside feats of strength before wowed audiences, these pioneers were popular, but were seen as unicorns. Today, such women seem to be plastered across social media, showing off their hard-earned fit physiques, six-pack abs, and separation between muscles. These women are proving, with their expanding Instagram followings, that the supremely fit woman is growing in popularity. These noticeably muscular women receive varying responses from the public. Many men either belittle their muscles or fetishize them — maybe even both as most men attempt to hide their appreciation of the truly muscular woman — and while some women express appreciation for their sisters in muscle, many others appear either jealous of strong women or defensive about their own lack of fitness.

Are these women pioneers who have determined that they desire not only equality of opportunity, but physical equality? Or is their motivation to lift and develop their body just another aspect of the existing patriarchal construct where they are conforming to a subset of men’s physical desires?

If history has told us anything, it is that the ups and downs of the female body are deeply rooted in gender norms and male preferences. More and more men seem to appreciate the bodies of strong, fit women, but only ‘within reason.’ Forced to look a certain way is connected to the wider problem of trying to control their bodies and their rights.

Despite this, more and more women are starting to shape their own interpretation of what is beautiful. Training, honing, building strong bodies to make themselves lithe and powerful, they flaunt their gains on social media, yet they still have a long road to go to receive acceptance or even fairness in the bodybuilding world. The key to equality is for society to stop telling women what they should look like and allow people to live their lives as they choose. ³ Yet this equality won’t come easily as the social construct allows women to train, but instructs then not to train too hard and gain comparable strength. Colette Dowling, respected author and lecturer on psychosocial issues of American women doesn’t hesitate to say men are responsible for this pressure to conform. As men lose the justification for their special privileges, they try to use their physical superiority as justification to maintain their overall dominance in society.

She writes, women have been excluded from so much in life because of the frailty myth… First, we believed we were weak. Then we began to suspect that we weren't but kept getting told that we were. Then we began proving that we weren't and were mocked as men because we were strong. Women have thrown themselves over hurdle after hurdle during the course of the past century, demonstrating extraordinary physical powers and skills, and still we're being kept back for no reason other than we're female. ⁴ Since Title IX women have made great gains.

Yet has the needle truly moved that much? Even in the sport of bodybuilding where the stated goal is to use physical resistance to strengthen and enlarge the muscles of the body, women are held back. The female bodybuilding category was removed from the IFBB contests in 2015 with the statement, women were getting so muscular and so into the development of their muscles that it was not at all aspirational for other women. The category was reinstated this year so perhaps, grudgingly, things truly are changing.

As women try to fight past gender norms, they may have a new ally advocating their right to increase their physical prowess beyond currently acceptable norms. Tens of thousands of men on the internet exult in and almost worship the muscular female body. Is this group of men who appreciate unusually muscular women significant enough to help women to push the envelope?

In the late 1800s, German psychologist Magnus Hirschfeld coined the term sthenolagnia to define a fetish which is based on ‘sexual arousal from a demonstration of extreme muscularity.’ The inclination is found among both males and females, but acceptance of the fetish both historically and in modern social circles is treated differently by each of the sexes. A closely related and sometimes overlapping fetish is cratolagnia, which is defined as the sexual arousal from the display of strength. Both of these terms are known as sexual paraphilias which means that the individuals experience intense sexual arousal to atypical things.

Both sthenolagnia and cratolagnia are not uncommon conditions for both sexes. While these fetishes are frequently accepted or even normalized for women who appreciate men, they are considered unacceptable and deviant when it is part of the personality of a male. The social construct blindly attaches uniform traits to these female muscle admirers. They are derided as schmoes, socially deficient pariahs fixated on female muscle to hide their own inadequacies. Further, there is a tendency for many people to assume that all female muscle admirers belong to that same subset.

There is a growing subset of men who are emerging from behind the shadows to demonstrate their appreciation of the muscular female body who don’t reflect this derogatory depiction at all. Some of these men write female muscle growth (FMG), a fantasy genre involving the abnormal muscular growth of a woman. Many of these stories upend the traditional perspective of the man as the partner in charge. These strong women employ role reversal, punishment for transgressions, and dominance in their relationships while growing exaggerated muscle which bends reality.

Other men draw these perfected women with an almost obscene amount of muscle or ‘morph pictures’ of celebrities or muscular women to impossible scale. A growing number of men discuss the most recent muscular beauties that they’ve seen in bodybuilding contests in internet chat rooms, YouTube comment sections, on Instagram, and message boards across the internet.

Why are more men becoming excited about muscular women and more women becoming serious about training their bodies and developing muscle, even to extents not considered mainstream? This book may not be able to answer these questions, but through interviews with men and women, it will examine the phenomena of the muscular female in varying facets.

I’d like to dedicate this book to the muscle worshippers that I’ve met online. Though I have not always been entirely flattering about our fetish and the people who share it, I have attempted to represent them accurately and they’ve helped me understand, explore, and ultimately embrace this part of myself. I’d also like to thank Jayne for conducting and editing the bulk of the interviews for this book. She also grew more excited about the project and by the end was co-writing the book with me which helped us portray a more nuanced view of the story.

We decided upon using a pseudonym for all the contributors because the anonymity seemed to increase both the veracity and the details. Some women, particularly those who conduct sessions, agreed to speak with us for background research only on the condition of complete anonymity with no quotes. These still helped to broaden our understanding of the industry as a whole. As we continued with the interviews a virtual tsunami of volunteers began contacting us about participating, which I credit to Jayne’s front end work. This influx also lends credibility to the idea that there are a lot more people with my tastes out there than has been advertised. It seemed to many as if speaking about the issue openly was like lifting a weight of doubt off their shoulders.

Though we weren’t able to include all of them, this book will offer snippets of interviews conducted with muscular women and their male admirers, with the bulk of the interviews in their entirety supplied in the appendices. In many ways the interviews are the most compelling part of the book offering a window into the minds of individuals who either build muscle or worship the muscle on women. They share their stories which are highly personal and relatable. These voices reaffirmed that men who worship women’s muscle are in all walks of life. Some interviews from people in countries less progressive demonstrate how the challenges they face with their fetish can be even more impactful. If, as you read a quote, you would like to read the full interview at that time, the e-book version has a link you may click to read the entire response before returning to the text. In the chapter examining the role of female muscle growth literature, both the author’s interviews and extended excerpts of their work will be available in the addendum and linked by author when mentioned.

1

THAT MOMENT WHEN… : REFLECTIONS FROM MEN

Iused to think that the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone.

-Robin Williams

There are several things regarding the sthenolagnia and cratolagnia experience within men that have intrigued me since I began to examine the nature of my fetish. The first is whether or not the proclivity has grown in recent decades with the celebration of the fitness movement or if the internet has just unveiled a subculture that has always been present but hidden in the shadows. Clearly, there has been a fascination with the powerful woman warrior as early as the ancient Greeks. The beautiful Amazon warriors were not just a threat to the male patriarchy of the era, but also a point of awe for the Athenians. The women warriors of the rival city-state of Sparta engendered a certain amount of fascination and reaction as well. Spartan women not only exercised, but they also participated in athletics, competing in events like discus, javelin throwing, wrestling and footraces. Spartan women even had legal abilities such as owning or inheriting property. The Athenians proclaimed their horror and Aristotle called the city state one of ‘female domination.’ Later, Athenians gleefully tied part of the reason for the fall of Sparta to their allowance of education and fitness to women. Yet, was the fetish as prevalent in that era? Were Athenian men all normal while Spartan men were schmoes? It seems unlikely. Clearly the fact that sthenolagnia and cratolagnia are considered fetishes has hampered credible research on this topic.

A second question I’ve grappled with regarding my fetish is why muscular women are considered so taboo and the men who like them so deviant. Clearly the female bodybuilder threatens the socially constructed definition of what is masculinity and femininity, but is there more to it? Proud, muscular women disturb the accepted social order when it comes to sexuality and gender for sure, but why is there is an almost visceral defensive reaction from men. It almost seems as if within groups of men there is a need to prove that they hate the look the most. Laurie Schulze, author of On the Muscle believes, The danger to male heterosexuality lurks that any male sexual interest in the muscular female is not heterosexual at all, but homosexual. ¹ Thus, the male patriarchy defends its virtue with homophobic slights and justifications for its behaviors. This in turn tears down both the male muscle worshipper and the muscular female and restores order to social constructs.

A final consideration that I’ve examined, given my own feelings about the muscular female, form is where my fetish originated. Is it nature or nurture that taught my being to virtually worship the physique of a muscular woman? Some men can name that moment when they realized they liked muscular women as if they were hit on the head by a brick. In a singular event they saw a muscular woman and became aroused or were carried by a woman or experienced a woman’s strength firsthand. Others describe the gradual realization where they appreciated muscular women over time without a specific event.

Either way, once a man gets the ‘bug,’ the feeling is all-powerful. Personally, my mind becomes clouded, senses heightened, and I utter words I would never say on another occasion –and I sometimes regret them later. But what caused this powerful infatuation within me? Was it seeing the exploits of a strong woman when I was young? Or, as I sometimes suspect, did my father also have the fetish and hide it before passing it down to me? Some of us with our fetish regret it and try to hide it. Others, however, celebrate it and wouldn’t give up the adrenaline rush which accompanies muscled women for the world. But, a strong majority of us lurk in the shadows, refusing to admit our feelings for fear of being shamed and ridiculed for ignoring the dominant societal expectation that women should be viewed as the weaker gender.

Interviewing groups of men with sthenolagania and cratolagnia may not answer the questions about where our tastes originated, but their anecdotal evidence gives us a window into the brains of people who strongly appreciate muscular women. The questions I asked each of them focused on whether there was a singular moment when they fell in love with female muscle, how it affected their development, if they shared their feelings with others, and whether strength or appearance fascinates them more.

During the interview process I sensed both the intense fascination with muscular women but also the pain that their fetish causes. Most men discovered their interest in built, powerful women at an early age and shortly afterward realized it was ‘not acceptable.’ Kaos recalled his stark realization that his passion was unwelcome and needed to be hidden:

Women's Physique World magazine often came with two-page posters, women like Cory Everson and Sharon Bruneau. I began to hang these up on my walls in my teens, while most classmates were hanging up band and sporting posters. I quickly learned from family and friends that my posters were not appreciated. Women like them looked like men and were disgusting and the fact that I was hanging them was somewhat disturbing. I began to hide my interest in such women, disclosing it only to my closest friends and even then, with hesitation.*

Charles recalls a similar realization. I knew my feelings were weird by their standards, so I stayed quiet and jerked off to strong women with great abs and huge biceps. It was honestly quite a struggle for me as a teenage having nobody to talk to about my own feelings.*

Qbikk described the experience of seeing his first muscular woman not only as eye opening, but also alarming. I was flabbergasted, aroused, confused, and ashamed. It couldn’t be, not because I didn’t like it; I knew I did, but because it was against the norm. Way against it.*

Faced with condemnation for their desires, many of the men craved normalcy and just wanted their deviancy to go away. Some unsuccessfully sought therapy to rid themselves of what they saw as their affliction. Others have sought out psychologists to tamp down their addiction to muscle women as if it were a porn addiction. Though they recognize the intensely pleasurable feeling their paraphilia brings, the shame that was associated with it made them want to be cured and brought to normative values. Don’t tell me to accept it or embrace it or whatever. I need this to end, because I can’t live with this! ² shouted one man on an internet thread. A respondent on the same thread asked whether he’d found a cure. I am going through the same problem. A fetish for comic book muscle started at a young age (9 or 10). Have you made any progress? I have had a hard time pursuing relationships. I am 28 and this has to end. ³

In some less-progressive nations across the globe hiding their fetish became not only a matter of fitting in, but a safety concern. Like living in America prior to the Gay liberation movement, people with sthenolognia and cratolagnia in these countries are vilified, marginalized, and criminalized. Nick, in his interview described these concerns:

Initially, I laid my fascination because strength and masculine traits on a female are synonymous with homosexuality where I am from and could mean a danger for me. I think the consequences of hiding my feelings include isolation and cynicism. I have sometimes felt like I am the only one with this fetish and fascination.*

Shay, who is from Ireland, confessed that even though he is from a Western European democracy his country’s conservative Catholicism bent made his feelings more out of the norm. Ireland is still backward in many ways…and it and likely pegged me a freak. This interview is the first time that I have openly discussed my feelings.* No matter where they are from schmoes feel bound to keep their feelings hidden.

Many of these so called schmoes are sensitive, caring, hard-working people who are upstanding individuals and successful in their chosen professions. Bodybuilder Marcie Simmons, who has reflected upon them said as much stating that they are regular guys, guys that are married, have kids and fully functional lives. It’s just that whole exchange of power…they are submissive and like the idea of a woman that can make them feel small. ⁴ Yet, the social construct that tells them what should and shouldn’t be attractive to them continually presses the message on them that they are deviants. Assigning the men who find muscular women attractive as a subculture based on sexual fetishism only devalues them further.

Over the course of the interviews I’ve found myself counseling and discussing issues with men who have done nothing wrong. Faced with the heteronomy of the term feminine not matching their own ideal of beauty, they are told by the social construct or even the law that their beliefs are wrong. Collectively, so many of them feel ashamed, worthless, and reprehensible because of their sexual proclivity. They are further hampered by not being able to fully express their feelings in society, whether it is with family, friends or in social circles. Most are not able to fulfill their desire in a relationship, which is another reason to rue their fetish. So, they trudge on alone, hiding their true desires. One interviewee maintained that again and again I see how muscular women are verbally attacked because of their appearance. Therefore, the thought suggests itself that the same behavior is also used on confessing fans, which is not exactly desirable. ⁵

Eric, one of our interviewees described the stress of not telling others when he desired to as stressful to the point it almost becomes laughable. Even buying his first Women’s Physique World was "like the scene in a Woody Allen movie when he tries to buy some porn magazines and the newsstand cashier starts yelling to the owner, asking how much Big Juggs magazine costs."*

The need to conceal his fetish while satiating it was also described by 6’1 Swell, who for years wrote a blog entitled Female Muscle Slave. He spoke of a similar experience surrounding hiding his fetish when buying a magazine:

The sight of Anja’s incredible body ripped and oiled in a black bikini was just too much. ‘The Madness’ overtook me. I couldn’t leave the shop without the magazine, or more accurately, without the woman on the cover. Dry-mouthed and paranoid that someone I knew would walk in and see what I was doing, but compelled nonetheless, I whipped the magazine off the shelf and went up to the counter and paid. For some reason, the shopkeeper put it in a brown paper bag, usually reserved for hiding porn. Were my intentions that obvious, I wondered?*

Told in their head by society’s assumptions that their feelings are a joke — less than — it takes a toll on their psyche. The word ashamed has repeatedly been used by the people I interviewed, solely because of their taste in the physical appearance of a woman. Groups on the fringe always have it rough, and while some of that is self-inflicted, societies expectations weigh heavily on them. The internet has become a boon to these men, serving as a gathering place to share. Before the internet, most, if not all of these men had no outlet whatsoever to discuss their uncommon sexual arousal patterns which was perhaps even more difficult.

The older men who discovered their feelings about muscle prior to the world wide web may have experienced an even harder awakening. They were limited to fleeting glimpses on ESPN or going through the struggle of purchasing a magazine which shouted their proclivities to the vendor. With no community to discuss their feelings, their experiences were made even more forlorn. The internet at least has provided a place for many where they can view women without consequences. There they can be an anonymous voyeur, yet they are drawn to find camaraderie and desire acceptance. While the sense of community engendered by the internet can be positive, the firehose of images can also be addictive and maintaining a healthy balance can be difficult. Ernie expressed this fear saying, I’m worried that this ‘kink’ might turn into an addiction.* For good or ill, when their screens close the men are returned to the dark, hiding their feelings and, for most, a deep sense of isolation.

Initially, the term schmoos was coined by one of two bodybuilding pioneers Kay Baxter or Pillow, to identify these men. Shmoos were a cartoon species from Li'l Abner that adored and worshipped humans, expressing love with beating hearts over their heads, and catering to their every need. The term initially seemed to be used in a loving, almost matriarchal, fashion for muscle worshippers, and aptly captured the utter devotion and rapture the group exudes when around muscular women. The linguistic shift from a relatively positive word to a decidedly negative one invoked a shift from lovable to reprehensible. And because schmoe is a much older word, a Yiddish word meaning a jerk or someone boring, stupid or foolish, it was more easily recognized by people at large and made the shift in perception that much more profound. Now the group of men associated by the word have been vilified by the very bodybuilding industry they support.

The pejorative connotation of the word schmoe when attached to their proclivity immediately puts the group in a negative light. I sought to use another word in this book, but none existed. The idea that someone who has sthenolagnia or cratolagnia is, in some way, inferior