Bodies of Water & Women
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About this ebook
A woman faces grief, death, illness, joy, love, and interdependence like a poet lost in prayer, or a natural scientist, one who studies mushrooms, which "transform toxicity into tenderness." She writes her way through the mud and the muck. She imagines the freedom of breaking the cycle.
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Bodies of Water & Women - Kira Gresoski
Chapter One
Swimming in Secret Lake
Does it go on forever?
My heartbeat ripples
in the water.
The great blue heron
glides across the sky,
its elegant legs breaking
the lake’s glass surface.
The sun, a citrus twist,
shines on my salt lick skin,
my tired limbs like the fins
of some common minnow.
This must be forever,
eternity as a bowl of water
suspended between
the dusky sunset sky
where planets of dust and ice
spin on their spines,
and the sinking miles
where cold-blooded creatures
dwell in the shadows,
and I kick my legs like a duck,
soaking up clouds and colors,
caught in the middle.
I’m skimming across this tension,
an arrow slung through silk,
soft and strong as the element
that first held me
when I was called
out of the darkness
into my mother’s body,
when I was called
out of the depths
into my body
Flood Babies
I was born in the flood of ‘93 into a city,
into a home that was barely floating.
I had to go
fall in love with a man
born and raised on the flood plain,
destined to find our common ground
in the pattern of disaster.
I want us to be the kind of people
who know when to let go,
but when you’ve carried your life in boxes
up the washed-out basement steps,
or seen your front yard swallowed in the river’s belly,
an egret perched on your dad’s submerged
International Harvester, your arms may take the shape
of holding on. Sometimes, we hold too much.
I tell the man I love, don’t look at me
like that. Like what? Like I’m your field of crops
and you’re wondering if I’m going to make it.
Not to spoil the ending, but, my darling, we aren’t
going to make it, everything we create and grow
and build will be taken. The water always wins.
If we get to take any miracle with us,
it’s this:
our eyes are made
mostly of water
and when you look at me
without fear of the future,
with nothing but love
for our tenuous existence,
the worries and clouds
in your knotted brow clear
and the pool in your eyes
reflects the light in mine.
Nightmare of Swimming in Ditches
It’s a sewage river, a suburb gutter,
a thread of muddy water weaving
along the thoroughfares and highways.
My mate and I swim through it, paddling
like muskrats with our noses perched
above the murky soup, stirring our paws
beneath the water. We paddle past dead
dishwashers, gutted refrigerators, barrels
of unlabeled chemicals. Whatever
the city doesn’t want, it tosses here.
So we pretend this is a jungle stream,
imagine an oasis up ahead,
sacred serpents, lush birdsong and not
the honk and blare of rush hour traffic.
Then, we’re at home with showered skin.
There’s a knock at the door and a SWAT team
in our yard. They break in before I let them.
A man with a high-tech vacuum
strapped to his chest tells me,
We have to look for something,
but we can’t tell you what it is.
A crew waves wands over our furniture,
a woman with a caked face grabs my hand
and pricks it, drawing my blood into a vial.
Just testing for something, she says,
grinning as she does it again.
If I guess what it is you’re looking for,
will you tell me if I’m right?
I ask the vacuuming man.
He nods. You’re looking for the atomic waste.
The waste they dumped in the water, in the ditch.
He nods again, their machines whirring,
beginning to beep. I feel myself sink.
The poison is invisible and everywhere.
And all my life, I’ve been swimming in it.
My Hometown Is a Trash Fire
Women in my hometown
are trying to make it out with Tupperware
parties, weight loss and hair growth vitamins,
and Mary Kay.
I don’t accept the Facebook invites.
When a high school enemy’s little sister,
a shy girl who never spoke to me,
sends me a message eight years after graduation
to tell me about her exciting offer, I say
I don’t really wear make-up.
Okay, but skin care, she replies,
and I log off.
People in this town are suckers for
one-way carts to the shooting stars,
schemes of being your own boss. For the men,
it’s usually meth or a heavy metal band
or poems about God at the open mic.
They see through the matrix. They know
the world’s deepest ways.
This Trash Fire Is My Hometown
Deep within the armpit
of our town,