Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    CrickiLeaks: The Secret Ashes Diaries
    CrickiLeaks: The Secret Ashes Diaries
    CrickiLeaks: The Secret Ashes Diaries
    Ebook126 pages1 hour

    CrickiLeaks: The Secret Ashes Diaries

    By Alan Tyers and Beach

    4/5

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    Cricket's greatest legends. Sport's fiercest
    rivalry. Wisden's fakest diaries.



    CrickiLeaks charges headlong onto the players' balcony and imagines 40
    cricketing diaries of rare wit and invention, along with the illustrated book
    covers they might have inspired.



    Featuring spoof journal entries drawn from throughout Ashes history,
    CrickiLeaks reveals for the first time the innermost thoughts of the greatest
    cricketers of the last 129 years. And Mitchell Johnson.



    CrickiLeaks includes imagined diaries from players on the most recent tour
    (Andrew Strauss, Ricky Ponting), diaries from the all-time greats (Shane Warne,
    Freddie Flintoff, Sir Ian Botham, Geoffrey Boycott, Donald Bradman, W.G.
    Grace), as well as contributions from less obvious personalities.



    An irreverent and entertaining collection of Ashes diaries, CrickiLeaks finally
    lays to rest some of cricket's greatest mysteries:

    - What exactly was going through Gatting's mind as he faced the ball of the
    century?

    - Why did Ricky Ponting lose his rag with Ronald McDonald?

    - What really went on between Douglas Jardine and Daphne the Koala in Adelaide
    Zoo?



    A riotous and uniquely scurrilous addition to any cricket-lover's library.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBloomsbury Publishing
    Release dateApr 4, 2011
    ISBN9781408156759
    CrickiLeaks: The Secret Ashes Diaries
    Author

    Alan Tyers

    Alan Tyers has written regular columns for The Cricketer magazine and The Daily Telegraph. With Beach, he is the author of CrickiLeaks: The Secret Ashes Diaries and W.G. Grace Ate My Pedalo.

    Related to CrickiLeaks

    Related ebooks

    Sports & Recreation For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Pride, But No Prejudice

      Oct 7, 2020

      Pride, But No Prejudice
      5 min read

    • Article

      LetTErBoCkS

      Oct 12, 2023

      LetTErBoCkS
      13 min read

    • Article

      Leter Books

      Mar 10, 2022

      letters@viz.co.uk ◻ HOW COME you don’t see Bruce Forsyth on telly much any more? He used to be all over the place on primetime BBC, but since his death he’s only been in a few repeats on digital. Come on Brucie, pull your finger out. Ben, Whitstable

      9 min read

    • Article

      Letters

      Dec 21, 2022

      I was deeply moved to read Nick Fisher’s obituary (7 December), so deservedly praiseworthy and sensitively portrayed by Patrick Galbraith. Some years ago now, after I penned a letter to Nick, he duly featured one of his classically ‘highly individual

      3 min read

    • Article

      Letters

      Aug 10, 2022

      Email your letters / stletters@futurenet.com Here’s an unpopular opinion from a keeper as the Game Fair has just happened at the weekend (at the time of writing). I’m sure many people from all over the country flocked to it, but many others are unabl

      3 min read

    • Article

      Readers’ Letters

      Jun 28, 2023

      Readers’ Letters
      6 min read

    • Article

      Letter Bocks

      Mar 9, 2023

      Your Correspondence with VIZ Editor Hampton Doubleday Viz Comic, P.O. Box 841 Whitley Bay, NE26 9EQ letters@viz.co.uk ◻ CONSERVATIVE party chairman Lee Anderson says he is in favour of the death penalty for the most heinous of crimes, but only in cas

      10 min read

    • Article

      Readers' Letters

      Nov 16, 2022

      Readers' Letters
      6 min read

    • Article

      Letter Bocks

      Oct 14, 2021

      THE PHOTO of Mick Wragg on page 38 of issue 309 is in fact Jack Elam, the well-known American actor who usually played villains in westerns. Don’t forget that old fuckers with long memories like me read your publication. Gypsum Jim, East Leake I WOUL

      12 min read

    • Article

      Letters

      Jan 6, 2021

      It is with great sadness that I report the recent passing of Monty Wilcox, aged 83. Monty was one of the great gamekeepers of his time, though he was a soldier first. Rather than National Service, Monty signed up for three years in the Rifles at the

      3 min read

    • Article

      LeTteR BooKs

      Aug 3, 2023

      LeTteR BooKs
      13 min read

    • Article

      Letters

      Feb 13, 2020

      With reference to Paul Kenyon’s letter, Unusual Weapon [February issue], in December 2018 I took my blunderbuss to Whitfield on a .410 and black-powder day. It hadn’t been fired in the past 50 years so the first test shot was taken with trepidation N

      7 min read

    • Article

      LeTtERbOcks

      Nov 17, 2022

      LeTtERbOcks
      11 min read

    • Article

      1000 Miles Down Under

      Nov 26, 2021

      1000 Miles Down Under
      7 min read

    • Article

      Going It Alone

      Mar 18, 2024

      Going It Alone
      7 min read

    • Article

      Letters

      Aug 5, 2020

      Many thanks for the great article about the White Park cattle (Sporting Answers, 15 July); it brought back a couple of great memories. I’d forgotten my dad taking me, aged five, while on holiday to see the Duke of Hamilton’s White Cattle at Lennoxlov

      4 min read

    • Article

      LeTtErBoCkS

      Jan 4, 2024

      IN THE interests of road safety, I think it would be a good idea for the government to introduce a law that requires all drivers to have their hazard lights on at all times. Except when there are no immediate hazards. Jack Spratt, Stourbridge RADIO 4

      14 min read

    • Article

      Fleeing From A Baying Pack

      Dec 2, 2020

      Fleeing From A Baying Pack
      5 min read

    • Article

      Letters

      May 14, 2020

      LETTERS MAY BE EDITED FOR CLARITY OR SPACE I was delighted to read the article by Neil Cross about his outing with Martin Whitley and his hawks [In full flight on Dartmoor, May issue]. Two autumns ago, my daughter and I arranged a similar afternoon’s

      7 min read

    • Article

      Letters

      Jul 1, 2020

      We really enjoyed the Gamebirds article (by G. Lorne?) in the other week’s issue. In this time of worry and concern about COVID-19, lead-shot bans and social-distancing, I think it makes a change to look back at where our sport originated. At worst i

      3 min read

    • Article

      LetTerBOCKS

      Oct 13, 2022

      LetTerBOCKS
      13 min read

    • Article

      Letters

      Jun 24, 2020

      Letters
      3 min read

    • Article

      LeTteR Books

      Aug 5, 2021

      ? COULD the IT technicians at Adobe please remove the window that keeps popping up saying “InDesign unexpectedly quit”? I know it’s fucking quit because everything disappears off my screen and I have to start it up again. And it happens so often, it’

      12 min read

    • Article

      Letters

      Nov 30, 2022

      I read Giles Catchpole’s column (Serious Matters, 9 November) with interest. In the main, I strongly agree with Giles about the situation the shooting world finds itself in at the moment. While some decry the syndicate and corporate shoots that effec

      4 min read

    • Article

      LetTer BoCKS

      Apr 11, 2024

      LetTer BoCKS
      12 min read

    • Article

      Letter Bocks

      Apr 13, 2023

      Letter Bocks
      9 min read

    • Article

      The Spurwing And The Bull

      Apr 22, 2022

      The Spurwing And The Bull
      6 min read

    • Article

      Letters

      May 18, 2023

      Letters
      3 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for CrickiLeaks

    4/5

    1 rating0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      CrickiLeaks - Alan Tyers

      Cricki Leaks

      W.G. Grace

      Justin Langer

      Kirk Russell

      Steve Waugh

      Glenn McGrath

      Fred Spofforth

      Steve Harmison

      Douglas Jardine

      Mike Gatting

      Denis Compton

      Gemma Broad

      Ashley Giles

      Michael Clarke

      Keith Richards

      The Nawab of Pataudi

      Ted Dexter

      Fred Trueman

      Ian Bell

      Charles Colvile

      Graham Gooch

      David Gower

      Duncan Fletcher

      Donald Bradman

      Tony Lock

      Merv Hughes

      Mitchell Johnson

      Geoffrey Boycott

      Ricky Ponting

      Rod Marsh

      Liam Botham

      Shane Warne

      Andrew Flintoff

      C.B. Fry

      Michael Brearley

      Henry Blofeld

      Kevin Pietersen

      Phil Tufnell

      Jonathan Trott

      Andrew Strauss

      Sir Ian Botham

      Footnote

      Editor’s Note

      By the Same Authors

      W.G. Grace

      Southampton Dock, September 18th 1892

      A day of near perpetual motion! The steamship to Australia leaves this evening and there were multitudinous affairs to put in order before traversing the globe to give the convict the sound thrashing that is his due.

      To Bristol, and a century before lunch. However, my enjoyment of the innings was severely compromised on two counts. Firstly, an uppity young left-arm bowler laboured under the misapprehension that he had bowled me out on three separate occasions – and had the cheek to ask how is that? of the umpire each time. I impressed upon him the obvious truth that it was the local sou’easter which had uprooted my middle stump, rather than the ball as he had erroneously surmised; and ensured that the breeze could not engender further confusion by nailing the bails onto the stumps with a mallet. I fancied I detected a show of dissent on behalf of the fellow, and had no alternative but to administer a thorough beating with the mallet and relieve him of his fee for the match. I tenderised and fined the umpire too, pour encourager les autres.

      Worse, a member of the crowd was taken unwell and I was obliged to attend to the wretched man. I make no pleasantry whatsoever when I say that the life of the parish doctor would be quite tolerable were it not for the constant demands of the ghastly populace. Is there anything more weak and uncricketly than the ill? However, each of us must bear his burden, and I agreed to examine the fellow down by the third man boundary.

      He was a particularly shambolic individual, groaning and clutching at his hindquarters, which were evidently giving him considerable pain. It was immediately clear to a physician of my experience that he was suffering from some unmentionable nonsense in the downstairs area. This I attributed to the wrong sort of foods, not drinking enough beer and, as it turned out after questioning the creature, not playing enough cricket. I diagnosed haemorrhoids, prescribed a pottage of mercury to be applied to the fundament and strongly advised some assiduous work on his hitting to leg. I admonished him: Young man, they have come to see me bat, not your bowel, and returned to the wicket, where I scored a further 150 before declaring and hailing a hansom cab to take me to the port.

      I stopped en route at Lord’s and negotiated my tour fee with Lord Sheffield, who is nominally in charge of the tour. There was an unfortunate incident on the road to Southampton when the horse pulling my baggage collapsed dead under the weight of the enormous bag of money. However, I was not disheartened and, after building a small bonfire at the side of the roadway from the now-useless carriage, I fashioned a simple but hearty meal out of the deceased equine. Restored, I now await to board the ship and travel onward to glory.

      Justin Langer

      Secret location for dossier research, October 18th 2010

      A few thoughts on the English team, based on my experience of playing in England, my own observations from my Test career but mainly some stuff that I overheard Steve Waugh saying on the golf course when I was caddying for him this morning.

      The key thing to remember about your English cricketer is that he is, above all, English. Put another way, he is not Australian – with all that entails. Your classic English cricketer will not look you in the eye, has terrible body language, bad teeth and slightly small feet. He is vulnerable to the short ball, feeds only at night, and would sell his mates down the river for a gin and tonic. He hates dogs, plays the viola and sent our ancestors to their death at Gallipoli while he sat reading poetry and twirling his moustache. This team is full of that exact sort of Englishman.

      To be more specific:

      ANDREW STRAUSS: Solid guy. Left-hander. Get him out caught or bowled. Look to get him out early.

      ALASTAIR COOK: Solid left-hander. Guy. Look to get him bowled, caught, leg before. Also run out or stumped. Possible candidate for handled the ball, timed out or obstructing the field. Look to get him out early.

      JONATHAN TROTT: Confusing one. Possible pussy? But not English. Non-English pussy. Is this possible? More information needed: could be trap. Vulnerable to 95 MPH leg-cutter on good length. Look to get him out early.

      KEVIN PIETERSEN: Play on ego. Starve him of oxygen of publicity, like a terrorist. Can get unhappy when he is not happy.

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1