Show & Tell at World's End: or, Life in the Time of COVID
By Arik Bjorn
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About this ebook
Welcome to the pandemic apocalypse! Here is a stay-at-home response to the Hollywood contagion blockbuster currently playing out in our living rooms, juxtaposed against the timeline of the idiots in charge of the United States.
Here are the social media posts by Arik Bjorn about events that simply couldn't have been penned in the zaniest science fiction book. Present reality is far beyond anything the most imaginative folks could have invented. What mind could conceive an Orange Dung Gibbon overtaking the planet? (Please no references to Pierre Boulle.) But, damn, it's just that way.
Smile for the camera! Say COVID! Time for a selfie at world's end!
Arik Bjorn
Arik Bjorn is a novelist, screenwriter and essayist, but most of all, a dedicated father and public librarian. He enjoys French silk pie as well as a quality shot of bourbon. His writing explores such themes as the Problem of Pain and building Civilization (or at least humanity's efforts to-date).Bjorn was the 2016 Democratic Party U.S. Congressional candidate for South Carolina's 2nd District. He holds degrees in archaeology/ancient languages and library science. His work has been read by lots of folks in 190 countries.He has seven books available, including three essay collections: "Waiting for Civilization," "The R-Rated Theologian" and "Why Bad Things Happen to Good Parrots."He has one short story collection, "Birds of a Feather," as well as a book of verse, "Pocket Lint.""So I Ran for Congress" chronicles his experience running for U.S. Congress against Joe "You Lie!" Wilson.Bjorn's most recent publication is about life in South Carolina during the COVID-19 pandemic, "Show & Tell at World's End."To read more of Arik Bjorn's writings, visit his website, VikingWord.com -- he is also active on Facebook and Twitter.p.s. Arik Bjorn is a native Minnesotan who now resides in South Carolina. Please send him pictures of snow on occasion.
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Book preview
Show & Tell at World's End - Arik Bjorn
Social Media is Show & Tell. That’s all. Goodnight, folks.
Okay, a bit more.
Nearly four decades ago—good God, we’re talking 40 years!—I walked into a second grade classroom, on multiple occasions, with material items that were precious to me. Baseball cards. Um. Okay, so pretty much just baseball cards were the only thing I cared about.
Stay with me! This essay is really about social media, not baseball cards.
On Show & Tell Day, I often stood in front of my class and showed off my favorite Minnesota Twins cards. Bear in mind, the Twins were 77-84 that year, as far from the World Series as Pluto is from Mercury—plus they were still playing in the dilapidated Met Stadium, and had almost no stars to show off to a nation of raving sports fans. Do you know who Roy Smalley is? Didn’t think so.
Still, I had something to Show & Tell.
At this point, most Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and other social media users have pissed off. 150 words devoted to any topic other than sex or TikTok dancing is simply too much for them.
I have a decent Facebook following. Over time, several million folks have read my posts and articles in all but four countries. (Google AdSense tells me so. I am rather dying to have rum punch with the eight people who have read my writing in St. Lucia.) That said, Twitter and Instagram remain personal enigmas. I’m simply too lexical, and not pictorial enough. Alas.
The point I’m trying to make is that Social Media 2020 is the exact same as Show & Tell was during my Gen X youth.
So, here we go! Show & Tell at World’s End. Welcome to the pandemic apocalypse! Here is my downhome, baseball card response to the Hollywood contagion blockbuster currently playing out in your living room, juxtaposed against the timeline of the dumbfucks in charge of the human race: Trump, Pence, South Carolina Governor Henry McMaster, plus all the MAGA Minions.
I’m 46, almost an antique. I don’t write books for money. I don’t write them for fame. I write books to chronicle for the future. The way I see it, I’m just a Babylonian scribe wedging words into fresh clay, hoping future readers might receive my baked tablet report.
Hey, Future: Show & Tell!
Oh, and by the way: let me get this off my chest. There are millions out there who think that social media is some sort of Mt. Rushmore of words. I’m sorry, but the words keyboarded onto social media, for the most part, are not chiseled into stone. If you think so, you just haven’t thought things through.
Social media is, instead, a chalkboard. Quite erasable. With the everlasting capacity of a blown bubble on a summer’s day in the backyard of any child.
Imagine this: you put a chalkboard on your front lawn, next to a strange arrangement of plastic pink flamingos.
Put whatever words you want onto the blackboard. And arrange the flamingos as e’er you will.
If this display upsets people passing by, um, so what? It’s your lawn. No one is forcing your neighbors to read your words or to look at your plastic birds. If they don’t like what they see, they can just keep on driving.
If you feel like taking a wet sponge to your chalkboard, erasing all your words, and rearranging your birds howe’er pleases you, that is your business. If, again, someone drives by and doesn’t like that, screw them. It’s your lawn. Your rules.
Bloody hell. How can people not understand this?
I know why. Because other folks want to hang you, based on some words you issued once upon a time, plus the plastic flitted fowl you theatrically blocked in your yard. That’s just the human way. We’re always going about, trying to trap one another. In short, homo sapiens are dicks.
(Then again, there really are assholes out there who have said horrible things on social media, and whose words have to be adjudicated. So, let’s take my words with a grain of salt. #reason)
That’s just about all the words I have on the subject—on any subject. (Damn, I’m so tired of having words to say on subjects.)
To recap: this book more or less is entirely for a readership at least a century or so from now. If you happen to read it now, so be it.
I’m really more interested in social scientists trying to understand what the glory holy hell social media was all about in its nascent days. So here’s my Xmas present to them.
By the way, I made a choice to arrange my pink flamingos permanently. Here is my yard—positioned in situ a la Pompei. chisel-chisel
In conclusion, my God, this planet is so fucked. What follows are my social media posts about days I simply couldn’t have penned in the zaniest science fiction book. Present reality is so far beyond anything the most imaginative folks could have invented. What mind could have conceived of an Orange Shit Gibbon overtaking the planet? (Please no references to Pierre Boulle.) But, damn, it’s just that way.
Smile for the camera! Time for a selfie at world’s end!
May 2020
December 31, 2019:
first COVID-19 case in Wuhan, China
December 31, 2019
Kat, me and Salt-N-Pepa saying, Hello, 2020! Adios, 2019!
#happynewyear
January 5, 2020
January 5, 2020
January 7, 2020
January 9, 2020
Here’s the full text of the article.
January 11, 2020:
first COVID-19 death in Wuhan, China
January 18, 2020
A lot of people compliment me on being a devoted parent. It’s flattering—honestly it is.
I grew up with a horrible human being for a father, and I’ve made it my life