How To Be A Man

How To Be A Man

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Jobs Jefferson

Copyright © 2020 Jobs Jefferson

All rights reserved.

ISBN: 9798641169057

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DEDICATION

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To all the men in the world.

For the man who wants to find out who he is,

how to go through life, his purpose as a man,

what he is meant to be, what stands in his way

and how to fight it.

Contents

1: ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

2: FOREWORD

3: WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A MAN

4: THE CHALLENGES OF BEING A MAN

5: WHAT STOPS YOU FROM BEING A MAN

6: WHY YOU ARE NOT REACHING YOUR FULL POTENTIAL

7: THE HIGH MAN

8: THE LOW MAN

9:  WHY YOU MIGHT BE A LOW MAN

10: MOVING UP, FROM LOW MAN TO HIGHER MAN

11: WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A HIGH MAN

12. ON DATING AS A HIGH MAN

13: ASSOCIATES TO AVOID TO BE A HIGH MAN

14: WHY YOU SHOULDN’T BE A LOW MAN

15. AFTERWORD

1: ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Growing up in a world full of men with grand achievements on every field has made me proud to be one. May all those who come years and centuries after us move the world so much farther than the stars we are yet to touch. May they find a way to give humanity life forever, if at their time they see it fit. I hope that they will have found not more diseases but better cures to all that ails humanity and solved most of the problems that still plague us.

Men who have made it easy for anybody to take the time and share their knowledge and ideas, platforms such as Amazon kindle and Apple Books all started by some of the greatest men we know.

Special thanks to my parents for instilling all the hopes and desires to move forward and take in all the world has to offer.

I’m just as grateful to all my teachers for the roles they have played in shaping the man I am.

Thanks too to my partner who’s been by my side through our still young life.

2: FOREWORD

A book comes knocking at each door, is there a man in there, young, old, it’s a cold winter night and it hopes to find warmth in the hands of a man. It’s a hot summer day and it stays optimistic a man picks it up. There it waits, carrying with it knowledge, wisdom, ideas from men great and mighty, from distant lands and some native, of times past and of the present. Will he see me, or will he pass me by, throwing his jacket on his back, on his way to work. Will he take me in, absorb every page of mine, swirl the taste like wine, sip or gulp.  If he likes the taste, as I hope he does, he might pass it on, to his little man. Oh how I pray.

3: WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A MAN

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Much has been said and there exists a whole myriad of ways aimed at explaining what a man is, what he should and should not do as well as the actual meaning of what it means to be a man. Come to think about it, there are around 3, 929, 830,770 males as the global numbers rise. This estimate is as of the writing of this book in the year 2020. Men have been around the planet for the past 400, 000 years dating to the fossils uncovered in Ethiopia. This just means men have had quite a lot of time on the planet roaming around, finding and making their way. Adam however gives a whole different story. In the book of Genesis, the first man, the father of all fathers, failed at what he was supposed to be.

I’m not focusing on his failures, he had a whole lot of successes and achievements that any man would be pleased with. As the first human being, he failed at being tempted to eat an apple that had him and his woman Eve sent out to what would appear a scary unfriendly world. A world where the animals he so loved, the same animals he named would later turn on him as a co-creator. The animals could have been more or less his children as he had the role of not just naming them but taking care of them as well.

Adams biggest fiasco was not due to his misgivings although we will later on learn not to blame others for our own actions. He failed by simply listening to his partner who at the time allowed herself to be tempted by none else than a serpent, a creature that crawls while it could be a representation of an intelligent and smart being, one we know as the devil. Whichever case, it got them both thrown out of the garden of Eden, and it was at this point when they realized what it means to fear and cover up to hide their nakedness. 

As the first man, there is a lot to learn from him. Adam did not pout, cry although he did point out that Eve had led him to go against God’s will. No matter how much he loved his woman, he would not lie to God and instead chose to say the truth. It would be a bit ‘manly’ of him to take the blame don’t you think? Wrong, he understood pretty clearly that it was his outmost duty to be truthful at all times, even if it meant what some would call a betrayal to Eve.  He not only had the guts, but enough honor to realize it was expected of him to be truthful at all times despite the consequences.  He felt a bigger responsibility towards God in all probability because he felt closer to God seeing as he knew him a little while before Eve. The serpent also chose not to approach Adam first, instead he went for Eve. This doesn’t mean he never tried, he probably did but failed or realized it would amount to nothing.

Before their great sin, all they knew was plenty, happiness and contentment. However, life was not all about sitting back and doing nothing. Adam had the not very mundane task of naming not just the animals but all that stood before his eyes. Here comes creativity. It took quite an imagination to name each and every animal whether it flew, swam or crawled. Most a man would stop at animal ten and start finding out smart ways to name them. This is part of what it means to be a man.  Being creative enough to do what you’re required to do and to do it well. 

What happens when you face adversity? Do you begin looking for somebody to blame. This is the first thought that strikes most men. A scapegoat. By looking for somebody or a situation to shift the blame to, you are failing at being a man. It goes beyond your very purpose and puts you in the position of a weak meek victim. Victimhood might feel good at the moment but like sweets and chocolate the subsequent consequences are far worse. By placing yourself as a victim, you allow all the negativity that comes from being in such a position. You no longer see the way out but only seek sympathy from others.

If there is an easy way to do nothing with your life, it is to allow yourself to depend on the pity of other human beings. A man realizes that an error or a mistake is made, fixes it and moves along.  There really is no point in wallowing and self-pity. It does you no good.  Most men look at life as a prince or a king and imagine what a nice life it must be. What with all the resources at your disposal, servants to serve your every whim. Well take it from Prince Philip the Duke of Edinburgh. Picture what he had to give up for his responsibility to the Queen, the throne and to the British people. He had to forget or at least leave part of who he was in order to serve in his new position. Few men have an actual love or passion for what they do. Here is a man who loved his naval career and probably thought it would not have much effect on him after marrying into British royalty. He had to leave it behind and as per his own words ‘Whither the storm carries me, I go a willing guest’. He had to make a tough choice and in some cases, you will make choices without having the full picture of what it’ll take or the sacrifices it brings. Either way, do just that, plunge in head first, do what you must.

However, this does not mean you rethink and regret your decisions later on. Part of being a man is sticking to your decision in full comprehension that it would require a lot from you ’sacrifice’ if you will but in actual sense it’s just what needs to be done.  It won’t each time be about you or what you want, in more than one instance you’ll need to do more than you think you should for the overall good, the good of humanity or those in your service.  No matter whom a man sees himself as, he shouldn’t assume he has no responsibility or duty to others. Each man has something or another to do for the rest of his kind.

There are a million ways that every man can contribute to the good of everybody else, whether in a small or big way. It starts at the basics, cleaning up your neighborhood is a start. It is disappointing to only do that which you assume to be your responsibility. Your responsibility is everything that comes your way and needs doing. Common sense dictates you’ll pick up a piece of trash on the floor whether or not you dropped it. It makes absolutely no sense to say somebody else did it.  In the case that you know the other man who makes it a habit of littering under the belief that somebody else picks up after them, it might be about time to take some corrective measures. It only involves approaching another party, explaining the situation and together approaching the perpetrator in a kind and benign way. Avoid any sort of altercation, the reason for the whole approach is to resolve an issue, not offend the culprit or make it worse by appearing like an all-out ambush. In most cases some sort of evidence that the person responsible actually did it might be of assistance as proof but only if he chooses to fervidly shift or avoid blame.

There are situations when a person is pardoned from such duties as pertains to keeping the neighborhood and society at large in order. Such is like the case when a lady had an ailing child and the neighbors unaware of her plight took to condemning the said person including calling on the media to cover the situation. Her lawn had fallen into disarray with overgrown grass which was at the very least an eye sore to the otherwise well managed and kept neighborhood lawns. The neighbors cited that this had played a key role at dipping house prices around the area. If any man had thought of maybe knocking at her door and finding out her predicament, especially since that had not happened before; they would have realized what she was going through and would have chipped in, lending a hand in some way or another.

To quote the bible at the risk of, but not willingly trying to annoy any non-believer, Cain, the first-born son of the first man answered that he was not his brother’s keeper. This occurred when God asked him of his siblings whereabouts. Whether or not he was guilty, he chose to avoid the whole situation by claiming it was not his role to take care of or at any rate find out how his brother was doing. Lesson learned, unless your neighbor has mentioned or expressed the desire that he is not to be "disturbed’ it wouldn’t hurt to say hi especially if you haven’t seen them in a while. At the same time a call or two might help to ensure they are doing just alright.

Ask any person what they think is the definition of being a man and most will go on and on about living the life you want, TV time and man caves. This might encompass some men’s lives but definitely doesn’t represent the whole. You have your own duty to yourself as well. No person deserves more respect and love than you. You should love your family, your extended family, your neighbors and society, God and everything else that stands for good and right. You are however part of that list. You owe yourself everything you have and everything you plan on having, acquiring and doing. Without you, there would be nobody to take care of all that you have or all that you will have. So is the story of life.

Duty to your friends and everybody else should not constantly take precedence over your own self. Throughout history, men have placed their trust and love in others and in one case or another they have ended up betrayed, heart-broken, and in some cases downright suicidal. This is all because in the process of serving others which is still your ultimate duty as a man, co-creator with God, you still have an obligation to yourself. So is the case of a man who assumes his ‘friend’ is the best thing he has ever had, goes well beyond and above to ensure he chips in as much as he can. He even agrees to guarantee his friends finances, only for the so-called friend to depart and never be heard of again. This is just but a typical example of what some men have been victims to. You are not to allow yourself to be a victim in whichever way it presents itself. Think about what you are about to do and decide on the best way forward.

We all know about backstabbers and I’m not talking about Judas with his kiss.. Instead I’ll mention another traitor not forgetting that history does have an uncanny way of remembering such people. If a man is depicted as a traitor, there are two approaches taken to determine how history remembers him. If his actions turned out to be helpful to the rest of his fellow men, he is without question tagged a hero for all to admire and revere. If on the other hand his actions only led to a loss instead of a gain, the man is from then on known and referred to as a traitor. History beyond doubt will not be as forgiving to such a person. These men also never had it easy and were dealt with depending on how their fellow men chose to go about it.

Take a typical example of what happened in the 16th century specifically in 1605.  You find a group of men namely Robert Keyes, Thomas Bates, Sir Everard Digby, Thomas Gerby, John Grant, Francis Tresham, Christopher and John Wright, Thomas Percy, as well as Thomas and Robert Wintour. This group of men formed the Gunpowder plot which was an assassination attempt against none other