Loving a Thug: Cayla & Hosea

C ause I’m a blunt blowin’, Polo drawers showing, I don’t give a fuck… I sat and listened to my brother rap along to Lil’ Wayne’s Blunt Blowin’ blaring through the speakers hooked up to his stereo. He was pulling a black knitted skully over his plaits and puffing on a blunt. He tucked his gun into his waist and turned around to face me. You ready to do this?

As ready as I’m gon’ be, I said, standing up. I pulled my hair up into a ponytail and pulled a matching hat on my head. I had on a pair of black sweatpants and a big black hoodie to try to conceal my feminine frame. I had put on a sports bra and taped my breasts down, trying to look like a nigga. My ass was threatening to break through my heavy sweats.

I followed Deuce outside of his apartment, and we hopped into his Ford Taurus. He pulled out into the night. He drove down a couple of back streets trying to find the perfect car to steal so we could go through with our lick. He spotted an old black Grand Am. He parked three blocks over and hopped out. I scooted over to the driver’s side and drove back to his house. I parked the whip on the street and got out. I walked beside houses and tried to stay in the shadows. Deuce was sitting in the stolen whip, waiting for me. I slid into the passenger’s side.

So, where is this lick? I asked him, pulling out my pack of cigarettes. I lit one up and took a hit.

Remember that nigga Scoob? Deuce asked me.

The nigga that burned you for that money when you went down? I asked him.

Ya, that bitch ass nigga, Deuce said. I swear I saw steam coming from his ears. That nigga sitting lovely while a nigga tryna get back on his grind. We bouta run up in his spot and take what’s mine. Fuck that nigga. Kill any and everything moving, Chyna.

You don’t gotta tell me, I told him.

Deuce and I had been running up in spots for three years now. It started off with him and his boys doing it, and me sitting at home, living a normal life. For a while, I didn’t even know what Deuce was out here doing. All I knew was that he’d come home with money, jewelry, and gifts for me. One night, when the two members of his crew got locked up for some weed, he pulled me in. He really didn’t want to do it, but the lick he was sitting on was worth a couple hundred thousand. He knew me to be a head buster and a roughneck. I was his little sister, but I had my own damn skeletons in my closet.

That first night, I caught my fifth body, and we took off with almost a half a million dollars. Since then, it was just us two. When he went down for eighteen months on a bullshit ass minor drug charge, I was out here solo holding him down. We had enough money saved up between the two of us to open up a couple of businesses, but the simple fact was his homies didn’t look out. At all. They lived by the saying ‘out of sight, out of mind’, but Deuce was back, and he was holding no prisoners. I felt bad for all of his niggas, because it was either get down or lay down. The first nigga on the list was Scoob. He had left my brother high and dry and tried to move in on his Connecticut connect. I knew, tonight, Deuce was on his murder shit. And I was happy to be going along for the ride.

Deuce parked the whip down the street from Scoob’s spot. We got out and quietly snuck up to the back of his house. We could hear voices inside and music playing. The talk was around a Spade’s game, so I knew money was on the table. I grabbed my gun out of my waist and nodded my head at Deuce. He pulled back his size 12 shoes and delivered a mean ass kick to the door. He had been to Scoob’s house enough times to know that he never locked the back door. The nigga thought he was untouchable, and that was his biggest mistake.

Once the door flew open, niggas started scattering in every direction. I lifted up my arm and let off four shots, bloc, bloc, bloc, bloc, each shot hitting its mark. Deuce handled the other three occupants and left Scoob standing at his refrigerator. He had dropped his bottle of beer and piss was running down his leg, turning his light blue jeans dark.

What’s up, cuz? Deuce asked, eyeing Scoob menacingly.

Look, bro, the safe is upstairs in the closet. The code is 6-9-4-5, Scoob rattled off with his hands up.

Anybody else in this bitch? Deuce asked him.

Naw, nigga. It’s just us, Scoob said. His whole body was shaking. Deuce nodded his head to me, and I quickly made my way upstairs.

I took his steps two at a time and pushed open the first door I came to. It looked like a kid’s room. There were toys and clothes everywhere, but the room was empty. I went to the next room and pushed it open. I turned on the light and headed to the closet. I pushed all of the clothes to the side and saw the safe sitting on the floor. I put in the code and pulled the door open. Perfectly stacked bills and a couple pieces of jewelry were sitting up front. I pulled the pillow case out of my back pocket and started placing the stacks inside. Once the money was in the case, I smiled when I noticed four bricks sitting back. I grabbed those up too.

As I was making my way back down the steps, I heard two loud ass gunshots and knew Deuce had rocked that nigga Scoob to sleep. I walked back in the kitchen and saw his body slumped down on the wall. I unloaded two more into the side of his head and followed my brother back outside.

Auntie, I’m hungry, I heard a little voice next to me. I looked over and saw my niece, Audrey. I looked at my phone and realized that it was ten o’clock in the morning. My niece tapped my arm and repeated what she just said.

Where’s your mom? I asked, stretching my body. I was ready to get some more sleep.

She’s sleeping, and she won’t wake up, Audrey complained. I’m hungry, Auntie. My stomach hurts.

I looked at the five-year-old and knew I couldn’t dog her like that. I climbed out of my bed and grabbed her hand. I started down the hallway and pushed my sister’s door open. She was lying across her bed in her Walmart uniform, knocked out. I took Audrey down to the kitchen and sat her at the table, grabbing a box of Fruit Loops, some milk, and made her a bowl of cereal. She smiled at me and dug in.

I walked into our living room and saw the pillow case from last night sitting by the entertainment stand. I picked it up and dumped its contents on the glass table. I had twenty-five thousand dollars and a couple pieces of jewelry. Deuce had his own twenty-five thousand and the drugs. I took the money and jewels back to my room and grabbed my phone. I had a couple of missed calls from two of my jump offs. Cita had been calling me since the night before, and Jon-Jon had just started blowing my shit up. I was about to hit Cita back when Jon-Jon’s name flashed on my screen.

What’s up? I asked, heading back into the kitchen. My stomach was grumbling and growling.

What’s good, baby girl? A nigga tryna see you today, Jon-Jon told me.

Didn’t I just see you like two days ago? I asked, taking my own bowl down.

So? You act like you ain’t tryna feel a nigga get up in them guts. He laughed.

I’m not, I told him flat out. You know I see you like once a week. I saw you two days ago. I’m cool for now.

Damn, so it’s like that? You only got time for a nigga when you want something?

Basically. I shrugged my shoulders. You know what it is, Jon. What we do is just a physical thing. Physically, I only need you once a week.

You got some shit with you, Chy. He huffed. You know what? Fuck it. Don’t call me when you need this dick. I got a million and one bitches I could fuck when I want.

You ain’t said nothing but a word, homey, I said and hung up.

I looked over at my niece. She was happily spooning cereal into her mouth. I was wondering why she wasn’t at school but figured her bitch ass daddy just didn’t feel like taking her. My sister must have picked her up after her shift and brought her home. I didn’t see how Asia could put up with Mike’s dumb ass. He was a half ass father. He only came around when he wanted and did what he wanted. He wasn’t there when Audrey or Asia really needed him. He was around when it was convenient for him. Audrey deserved much more than what his bitch ass was dishing out.

Auntie, can you take me to get ice cream later? Audrey asked me. Her hair was pulled up into a simple ponytail and it didn’t seem like her dad had bathed her.

We can do that later, lil’ mama. I smiled. Auntie has to do a couple of things and then we’ll go down to Paige’s later.

I want a strawberry milkshake. She beamed. Oh, and a big cone with sprinkles and chocolate.

Now you asking for too much. I laughed. We’ll make it happen. I’ll get you all hopped up on sugar and bring you back to your mom. She has the next two days off. She can deal with you.

What are you planning on doing with my child? Asia asked, walking into the kitchen. She looked a whole damn mess, like her job was taking her through the wringer.

Gonna hook my boo up with some ice cream later, I told her. Then, I’ma bring her back to you and let her terrorize you.

Chyna, don’t get fucked up. Asia laughed. I’m so glad I have the next two days off! They are working me to death in that trifling ass place.

You could always go back to what you were doing, I told her, talking about her job as an exotic dancer, as she called it.

That shit is just as bad, she said, kissing Aubrey’s forehead. Standing up all night in heels. My feet will never be the same after two years of that shit.

After we ate our cereal and talked, I headed to the bathroom to take a shower. There were toys lining the tub, and the dirty clothes basket was overflowing with clothes. I turned on the water, adjusted the temperature, and stripped. I was about to step in the shower when my phone rang. Cita’s smiling face popped up on the screen.

What’s up? I answered.

You. Why haven’t you been answering my calls? You had me worried, Cita told me.

Cita, don’t be questioning me. I didn’t answer for a reason. I was out handling something last night. I rolled my eyes.

Don’t be coming out the side of your neck to me, Chyna! I was worried about your ass. Usually if you don’t answer my calls, you at least text me, she said, getting heated.

I’m saying, don’t be checking me, I said in a calm voice. We ain’t together. We do what we do in the sheets, and that’s about it. I belong to no one. I check in with no one.

Whatever. See if I worry about your ass again.

You don’t have to. You can go right ahead and worry about the next bitch. Bye, Cita, I said and hung up.

I stepped into the steamy water and had to shake my head, laughing. Jon-Jon and Cita had definitely overstepped their boundaries. I belonged to my damn self. If I didn’t want to answer my phone or come over and fuck, they shouldn’t have shit to say to me. They knew the deal when we started the shit we were doing. Jon-Jon provided some bomb ass dick, and Cita gave some killer ass head. I didn’t really see myself as gay or bisexual, because I never went down on Cita. I would let her lick me until I was content, and that was as far as it went.

When Asia first met Cita, the look she gave me let me know she wasn’t happy. My sister didn’t know about my extracurricular activities until Cita came along. I had my fair share of experiences throughout high school, but my shit stayed on the low. I didn’t crave a woman’s touch like I did a man’s, but it was welcomed all the same. Asia cussed me out for days when I told her what it was between Cita and me. I explained that I was strickly dickly and that I wasn’t going down on no bitch. That seemed to put her at ease a little, but anytime Cita came around, Asia gave her the cold shoulder. Now she wouldn’t have to worry about Cita because her clingy ass was getting cut the fuck off.

I got dressed in a