Bright Spots

BRIGHT SPOTS

By: John F. Greene

© 2020 John F. Greene

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Printed in the United States of America

Interior formatting by I.C.Publications

Dedication

I dedicate this book to my children Kevon K. J. Greene and Devrol C. Greene. I love you both with every molecule of my being. Life may not always feel comfortable and optimistic. As we live day to day, we cannot ignore the occasional dark periods in life. However, there is something good and worthwhile in every day; infinite sources of brilliant lights – Bright Spots. 

When you feel down, as you sometimes will, do what it takes to find those Bright Spots in your moments, in your days. I am proud of what you have both done with your lives. As young men, you have never shied away from any hurdle you’ve faced. I have seen and heard of your heroic acts in this regard many times over the past years. As your father, I have watched your growth and will simply say that I am proud, honored, and humbled.

When I think of the things of which I am in awe, you both immediately come to mind; your tenacity and resilience being second to none. I am proud of your accomplishments, as I have seen many on life’s journey who have given up on some of the very things in which you’ve both excelled. Yes, I am proud, but take no credit for these and other qualities you each possess naturally and honorably.

In writing this book, my purpose was to create Bright Spots in your hearts and in your lives. I am confident that in turn, you will do the same for your family as your pathways are illuminated with brilliance.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Spot One: Knowing Oneself

Spot Two: Natural Power

Spot Three: Hope Lives Now

Spot Four: Standards vs Walls and Boundaries

Spot Five: Guard Yourself Assertively

Spot Six: Be a Spark to Your Own Renewal

Spot Seven: Fearless Change (In the Now)

Spot Eight: Getting Rid of Petty Annoyances

Spot Nine: Use the Energy Wisely

Spot Ten: Habits

Spot Eleven: Design Your Day

Spot Twelve: Clean Up Crew

Spot Thirteen: Stages of Relationship-Building

Spot Fourteen: She Turned it Up

Spot Fifteen: Quality of Life

Spot Sixteen: Water for Life

Spot Seventeen: Healthy Living: A Balancing Act

Spot Eighteen: Dealing with Rejections

Spot Nineteen: The Question of Friendship?

Spot Twenty-One: Bad Mindedness

Spot Twenty-Two: Whose Job is It Any Way?

Spot Twenty-Three: Right Tool for a Battle

Spot Twenty-Four: About a Killer Disease

Spot Twenty-Five: A Healthy Habits Test

Spot Twenty-Six: A Pondering Moment

Spot Twenty-Seven: Pondering on a Different Day

Spot Twenty-Eight: Rules of Life

Spot Twenty-Nine: A.E.L.

Spot Thirty: Value Added Lives

Spot Thirty-One: A Life Lesson

Spot Thirty-Two: The Pressure to be

Spot Thirty-Three: Failure to Thrive

Spot Thirty-Four: Reflections

Spot Thirty-Five: Not Really Lucky

Spot Thirty-Seven: What a Situation

Spot Thirty-Eight: Let’s Make a Deal- Deal?

Spot Thirty-Nine: Quotable Quotes

Spot Forty: What Matters

Spot Forty-One: Decision Making

Spot Forty-Two: Happy or Lucky

Spot Forty-Three: Sour Puss

Sport Forty-Four: Conundrums

Spot Forty-Five: Life- Our Reputation

Spot Forty-Six: Setting Priorities

Spot Forty-Seven: The Diamond in Us

Spot Forty-Eight: Understanding

Spot Forty-Nine: Confrontation

Spot Fifty: Values/Valuables

Spot Fifty-Two: What’s up with the anger?

Spot Fifty-Three: More Sameness

Spot Fifty-Four: Self-Inflicted Wounds

Spot Fifty-Five: Fifteen Ways

Spot Fifty-Six: Edit Your Life, Don’t Run to the Exit

Spot Fifty-Seven: Write Your Own Story

Spot Fifty-Eight: Gratitude

Spot Fifty-Nine: Self-ology

Spot Sixty: My Two Mamas

My Grandmother

Let All Your Bright Spots Come Together To Illuminate the Rest of Your Life

Acknowledgments

My utmost gratitude goes out to all of my friends who have encouraged me to embark on this project. Although at first unsure, I am so grateful that I took heed to your relentless encouragement and motivation. To my entire Facebook friend’s list (of approximately 5,000), thank you for reading my daily motivational posts. Thanks for your responses - positive or negative. Writing a book was part of my life’s goals, but I wasn’t quite convinced until I began to receive your overwhelming support for my post and your inspiration through your own posts. I am pleased to follow through and I am optimistic that this book will help someone recognize and create many Bright Spots in their lives.

To my wonderful household, the absolutely unwavering and supportive energy you have given me propelled me to this point - I love you. I am sometimes tough to deal with, staying up late at nights beating on the computer keys. You are all bright lights for me, each in your own unique ways.

To those whom I have bothered countless times with my daily thoughts sent to you via WhatsApp or Messenger, thanks for your tolerance. I know I sometimes sent these quotes too early in the morning or too late at night. Thanks for not abandoning our friendships as a result. You will always be a Bright Spot for me and I am grateful.

To those I don’t know personally, keep shining! I hope this book cultivates inspiration and motivation for you. I hope it positively impacts your lives and the lives of others in your circle of life. I know the world can seem a dark place at times, but I implore you to let your light shine. We can all experience some light in every day if we only stop long enough to focus on the now, and treasure the precious moments and cherished people in our lives.

Introduction

Why Bright Spots?

In writing this book , my purpose is to identify the presence of light within those who have given thought to giving up. There have been many who have given up when faced with hardships. There are many who, as of this moment, are having thoughts of giving up. This book may inspire you (and them) to consider a different perspective and make a decision to live.

There are moments in our lives when we experience situations that leave us feeling downhearted and dejected - a loved one’s betrayal, loss of a job, a secret unexpectedly revealed, an unsuccessful relationship, or simply being broke and broken. Whatever it is that troubles you, it’s time to search for the light and walk out of the darkness.

It is easier said than done, but, it must be done. As I have discovered through my own personal experiences and those of countless confidants, much of what we need is a listening ear and still lips. I have been fortunate enough to have great friends and supportive family in this regard. Although they might not all be considered biological family, they are people with whom I share a special bond. We can discover our bright spots in our interaction with persons or our time spent at places. I’ve discovered many of my personal bright spots without regard to the length of our association or depth of connection.

Each and every day we experience unsuspecting moments of value and light. We have a tendency to bypass them because they are not extremely vivid. We are most often looking for a huge bright light, so we look and keep going. I challenge each person to pay attention to these brief and fleeting moments. Consider that a collection of bright spots is a way we can intentionally create a more dazzling and intense life. A photo of ourselves is created by individual pixels (minute areas of illumination). It is the collection of these individual pixels that creates the larger image.

There are many references to mindfulness in this book. Mindfulness is a quality or state of being conscious or aware of something. I have recently begun to embrace the basic principles of mindfulness. I do so in order to maximize the recognition of all of the wonderful matters in my life; things I once took for granted. The foundation of mindfulness challenges me to embrace every moment. It has been extraordinarily beneficial thus far, so I am sharing with you. In addition to my experience, I highly recommend other books, resources, and courses on the subject of mindfulness to gain better application and see if it works for you.

The once-ignored moments have become those in which I now find value. I now recognize much of what is needed in order to enhance my purpose for living. I now use those moments to find the resources to build resiliency and tenacity. This is why I prevail when encountered by trials, hurdles, and situations in my life.

As you examine each story and reflect on your own experiences, be reminded that there is never one solution for repairing the lives of varied individuals. Life is complex and my solutions may not always result in a specific outcome for you, but the general ideology will help in motivating areas once overlooked. I am offering you suggestions to help discover your own truths and live your best life, regardless of any uncertainties or obscurities you may encounter.

I have learned some life lessons over the years, both good and not-so-good, that I feel compelled to share. Some of these life lessons may hit home and some may seem completely foreign to you. My hope is that these stories help you to think and devise a plan to your own solutions and a quality life of your choosing.

My ultimate life has not yet been realized. However, over the years, I have come to terms with many of my shortcomings and have been utilizing this time to rectify; I am making progress.

Read with an open mind and question the opinions and suggestions therein. It is within the process of inquiry that we discover answers that can present the switch for a light that can illuminate even our darkest moments. Always remember to ask questions only when you are prepared to receive the answers and do something with those answers.

Use all of your energy to make use of this gift of life and embrace the wonderful people in your circle now. Let your light shine so brightly that the darkest days seem insignificant. Create your own bright spots when none seem possible.

As you read, take a moment to write your thoughts as they arise. Although there are lined spaces provided below each story, feel free to notate anywhere throughout the book; make this book truly yours.

Remember, Mindfulness suggests that we do things in the moment and to not dwell in the past or glance too far in the future.

Spot One: Knowing Oneself

Letting It All Out

I am long overdue

Now what should I do

Should I speak words that may or may not come to pass?

Should I just sit here and play a stubborn ass?

I think I should follow my heart

Follow my mind

Follow my burning desires

Breathe life in the words that come from my mouth

I think it is time for me to let it all out.

Thought:

We dwell so much on what has passed and what is to come that we often miss the joy of living now.

A View Within Me:

Recently, my grandson told me he remembered when he was born. He remembered his mother pushing him out into the world. He said he has a vivid memory of that moment. I contemplated doubting him, but I thought better of it and decided to let him keep that thought. I do not have any such memory of such a moment. The fact that I don’t think that what he said is possible doesn’t mean I should make him feel badly about what he said he remembered.

I can remember many things and have spent my life embracing many wonderful memories. I share these memories as a reflection of how many life-changing moments I’ve had; good or bad. My regret is that I did very little with what I have been able to gather over the years. I took a lot for granted. I had no idea of mindfulness back then, so I made every effort to move beyond my moments quickly in order to live fast. Yes, I could have lived in my many wonderful moments and I didn’t. But, I have to ignore that past and enjoy these moments, which is what mindfulness teaches us.

A Story of Reflection

When we were young, growing up on the beautiful island of Antigua, I was not familiar with the concept of poor and rich. Everything was good or bad, but not based on whether people were rich or poor. I never studied the concept, and no one ever made me feel different in this regard. Perhaps in my community we were all on the same levels with the same resources. There was nothing to compare in terms of who had and who didn’t. It was true community life.

I truly believe that our general views on life came from my grandmother Din. She valued people over things, so whomever had or didn’t have was never a part of our discussion. Our parents were very effective at making use of what we had. We based value on how we treated each other, not on the finance. We valued the simple things because this is what we were taught. Those who were wealthy neither conveyed it in actions nor words.

I’d never felt the pain of poverty until I was told I was poor. This poverty thing was stated only because of the things I didn’t have. They identified my little comfort as poor and considered that I was because they were measuring against others who were considered rich for having more than they needed.

The only rich people who may have seemed a little different were the store owners in town; even though I still didn’t consider them rich. There were some others who often wore expensive looking suits when I went to church, I never placed more value on what they were wearing than on what I was wearing. The ‘Mego men’ used to come around and my parents would obtain items of clothing (and other things) from them on a pay-later basis. These men were from the local Syrian community and the majority of storeowners in town. I noticed that never wore the things they were selling to us. They often wore a t-shirt and jeans. They never looked like they had much. To me that’s a lesson I hold to this day that it’s not what you wear that makes you rich or wealthy. I concluded that what makes you rich or wealthy is your relationship with money.

We did not view our lives as lacking anything back then. My family did not complain much about anything. For me, my only concern centered on my father’s absence from our lives. I often wondered what he looked like and why he was not around. Other than that, nothing seemed out of the ordinary to me. The ordinary was the norm and the norms were great.

Our meals were great because they were filling. We had nothing to compare them to neither nutritionally nor otherwise. The meals were primarily of rice and something else. We looked forward to eating and were happy for what we had. A balanced meal was not about fruits and vegetables and all those things we now call balanced. Balance was what we were able to consume and still go to school and run around to play without falling out from hunger

Monday through Friday I woke up early and walked around the village to sell items such as bananas, pears (avocadoes) and other produce which my grandmother, Din, was able to pull together and place in the tray. She found creative ways to make ends meet. As the eldest grandchild I had to lead by example. I was expected to sell these items from 6:30 a.m. to 8:30 a.m. and be back home in time to go to school at 9:00 a.m. This was my first job. Din was teaching me a lesson about creating opportunities for myself.

It was my introduction to becoming a salesman. My training was on-the-job and I sucked at it. There were days when I made a few sales, but there were days when I got rejected and with every rejection, the tray felt heavier. I continued to sell each day, as I had no choice. Looking back, I was happy to have done this, except for the times when I didn’t sell anything at all.

My biggest disappointment was when I was unable to sell my products to those who said they did not have the money to buy any products. I was disappointed because I thought they were too stingy to spend their money. It took me awhile, but I learned to deal with it. On the other hand, I know there were some who may have bought items from me out of pity. Many mornings I struggled with the weight of the items. It was not easy to carry the heavy tray on my head loaded with fruits. In addition to the tray, I had the milk bottles in my hand.

I had some great days and some not-so-great days, but I have very few regrets about my days overall. I did very well most days and what I was able to purchase because of selling those items made me happy. I had lunch every day, which consisted of a loaf of well-buttered bread and cheese. Some days, I had my wood-oven bread buttered with some ‘ham-roll’ (luncheon meat) in the middle. I washed that down with a Bryson soda and ‘called it George.’ That was a saying we all used to declare we were satisfied with our meal. Often, we took what we got or were given and ‘called it George’, although I never understood why George?

Christmas was our favorite time of year. My brothers and I looked forward to getting many toys. Our favorite toys were those that enabled us to play Cowboys and Indians. We often did not get a toy gun, but that never stopped us from playing pretend shooting with sticks. We even created the sound effects of gunshots. In those days, Western movies were the big hits. Gun Smoke was the main show we watched and tried to reenact many of the scenes.

We also read many western-themed books, by American author Louis L’Amour. As a result, we wanted to show what we had learned. We became heroes and villains as were written in the novels.  Our horses were made of broom sticks turned upside down. The larger straw part would represent the head of the horses and the stick was the rest of the horse’s body. Our legs were the horse’s legs.

There were many fun moments. Most of us make-believe died from make-believe gunshots; most except for brother Reg (Reginald). My brother was famous for dodging the