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    Blue
    Blue
    Blue
    Ebook196 pages1 hour

    Blue

    By Mohamed Ghazi

    4.5/5

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    About this ebook

    THIS BOOK IS NOT FOR WEAK
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAustin Macauley Publishers
    Release dateMay 31, 2019
    ISBN9789948373353
    Blue
    Author

    Mohamed Ghazi

    Mohamed Ghazi is a writer from Iraq. He was born and raised in Kuwait. He lived 4 years in Jordan to continue his education. He has a Computer Science bachelor’s degree. He has been an online blogger since 2006. His favorite author is Mitch Albom. Ghazi has published two books, Honest and Half Pleasure, Half Pain. And Blue is his third book.

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      Book preview

      Blue - Mohamed Ghazi

      About the Author

      Mohamed Ghazi is a writer from Iraq. He was born and raised in Kuwait. He lived 4 years in Jordan to continue his education. He has a Computer Science bachelor’s degree. He has been an online blogger since 2006. His favorite author is Mitch Albom. Ghazi has published two books, Honest and Half Pleasure, Half Pain. And Blue is his third book.

      Copyright Information

      Copyright © Mohamed Ghazi (2019)

      The right of Mohamed Ghazi to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with Federal Law No. (7) of UAE, Year 2002, Concerning Copyrights and Neighboring Rights.

      All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.

      Any person who commits any unauthorized act in relation to this publication may be liable to legal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

      First Published (Self-published, 2018)

      ISBN 978-9948-37-337-7 (Paperback)

      ISBN 978-9948-37-335-3 (E-Book)

      Application Number: MC-02-01-3572125

      Age Classification: 17+

      The age group that matches the content of the books has been classified according to the age classification system issued by the National Media Council.

      Printer Name:

      Masar Printing & Publishing LLC

      Printer Address:

      Dubai, UAE

      This Edition Published (2019)

      AUSTIN MACAULEY PUBLISHERS FZE

      Sharjah Publishing City

      P.O Box [519201]

      Sharjah, UAE

      www.austinmacauley.ae

      +971 655 95 202

      Dedication

      To my anxiety.

      Acknowledgments

      This one is for the people who believe in me. This one is for the broken and the weak. This one is for everyone who’s struggling with depression and anxiety.

      I have been struggling with depression for over a year now. I feel like I have been stuck in a loop that I can’t get out of. I have lost so many things because of my depression, friends, lovers, my health, my sanity, and also, the will to live.

      I started writing this book in January 2017; the title was different and I wanted to deliver all the things I was feeling. This book became my nightmare; I couldn’t finish it. I was shocked at the things I was writing. They were so dark and heinous. I felt like I was losing my mind. I felt like this book was consuming me and feeding on my flesh. And the sad thing is that no one knew. I never told anyone about this project until I finished it, or it finished me.

      I thought writing about all the things I was feeling would help, but this time I was not writing fictional characters, I was writing my character and my own experience. It hurt. It really did.

      Of course, my gratitude always and forever, to my mother and father. Without them, I won’t be able to fight all my monsters. To my brothers and sisters. And to my friends, the ones who never gave up on me, the ones who don’t know about my struggles but keep trying with me anyway.

      Until we meet again.

      To Whom It May Concern

      Cruelty is now ruling the world. Hate and envy and selfishness are winning.

      I’m afraid there’s no place for good anymore. The weak and sensitive are being eaten alive. And the cruel are winning.

      I’ve hit something below rock bottom now. I’ve been chewed up for years in the name of love and friendship, and then I have been easily spat out.

      My depression and anxiety got the best of me. I started to see all the colors get darker and darker every day until I reached a point where everything went black while I was feeling blue.

      I have opened up to the wrong and seek help from the cruel. And believe me when I tell you that the good are hiding because the bad have overtaken this world.

      I’m empty and hollow. I’m afraid that I have nothing left for anyone. I don’t even have things saved for myself. I gave so much for so long to the unworthy. I fought too hard for too long to keep the undeserving.

      I have made plenty of mistakes the past few years and I have let some people make me feel insecure about being myself. My sensitive and pure-hearted self. And I’m done now.

      The world can fuck off if it doesn’t accept me.

      I’m a friend to no one anymore but the sea

      for the sea is blue

      and it reminds me

      of the way I feel.

      I’m the writer of this book,

      But you are the words.

      They come and go in waves, everything

      In life including the memories of you.

      And you.

      I shiver; I’m cold.

      Oh, I’m blue.

      Nothing will last

      this pain will fade

      like my love to

      you.

      This is just a wave

      nothing will last.

      And the future feels so far and the

      past is full of you and today

      I feel so blue.

      WAVE ONE:

      Abandonment

      Wake up. You’re still asleep. Yes, it’s better to accept it sooner rather than later. They are gone and they will never come back. The reason for their abandonment may vary, but there is only one thing that I know; they never loved you, because if they did, even for a bit, they wouldn’t have

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