Change Begins With A Whisper

Change

begins

with a Whisper!

Patricia J. Williams

Copyright © 2018 Revised 2022 all rights reserved by Patricia J. Williams. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage retrieval system, without the permission in writing of the publisher or the author.

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Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide www.zondervan.com.

ISBN: 9798885675192

Printed in the United States of America

❖Contents❖

Acknowledgments..........................................4

Special Dedication..........................................5

Introduction...................................................6

Chapter 1  Just Being Cerena    11

Chapter 2  The Awakening     20 he

Chapter 3  Wondering Soul   34

Chapter 4  Cerena’s Aching Heart    50

Chapter 5  Crossroad of Life    67

Chapter 6  Damaged but Not Delivered   79

Chapter 7  Removing the Mask     92

Chapter 8  Preaching from A Place of Pain  104

Chapter 9  Change begins with a Whisper  118

Chapter 10  Growing Pains    131

Chapter 11  Destined for Greatness      144

Summary....................................................162           

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❖Acknowledgements❖

Giving all honor and glory to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, without Him I cannot do anything. I thank Him for entrusting me with the many gifts He bestowed upon me and within me. Jehovah Jireh, you are my Provider.

To my siblings, Russell, Cindy, Valicia, Mable, and Paula. You all have encouraged me not to settle for anything less. You also inspired me to excel beyond my potential. Thank you for all the prayers. My precious grandbabies, Jeremiah, Jaycee, and Josiah, you are my little munchkins. My prayer is, that I am living a Godly life and leaving a heritage that you can be proud of and one day pursue. I pray that I can always be a spiritual guide in your lives.

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❖Special dedication❖

To My Mama

This book is dedicated in the memory of my mother, Mrs. Joe Etta Joseph Williams. This precious, loving, caring woman went home to be with the Lord, April 1, 2018, Resurrection Sunday. One of the characters is based on her personality. While I was writing this novel, God called her home. I had to persevere to finish this project, but God, siblings and loving friends helped me along the way.

By far the most important value my mother has instilled in me, and my siblings are to always be faithful, most of all to God. Even during the hardest times, I could see she never gave up on her faith. In fact, I know faith has gotten her through every twist and turn in life. Not only was she faithful to God, but to everyone around her as well. She didn’t give up on anyone, and for that I will always commend her.

If you take anything away from this special dedication, think about your own mother or someone similar in your life. We must never take for granted the wonderful people in our lives, without them, there’s no way we would be where we are today. I know for a fact, if I become half the woman my mother was, then I must be doing something right.

I Love You Mama     

❖Special dedication❖

To My daddy

This book is also dedicated in the memory of my daddy, Mr. Joseph C. (J.C.) Williams. This precious man of God who home to be with the Lord on August 30, 2021. You probably wondering why I’m doing two special dedications, it’s simple, they both meant the world to me. They both played an important role in my life.

One of the characters in the book displays my daddy. He was a hardworking, loving, God-fearing man. I saw in him how a man is supposed to treat a woman like a queen she is. We, his daughters, were his princesses. He sheltered, provided, and loved us unconditionally. He didn’t favor his daughters, even though my parents had nine children, they played a key role in each of our lives.  I love you for teaching me the things of life and laying the solid, spiritual foundation.

I dedicate this book to my sister, the late Bridget Joseph, my brothers, the late James Joseph, and the late Robert H. Joseph, Sr.

I Love You Daddy

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❖Introduction❖

When a tragic event occurs in someone’s life, it can have a major impact on them. It can cause them to have mental and physical issues. Carrying the weight of their past can be devastating. This is the story of an African American, eight-year-old girl, name Cerena Wailes. Cerena has two brothers and seven sisters.   

She is the sixth child of the Wailes family. Cerena is a person that pulls and needs a sense of belonging. She tries to fit in, even when she knows she doesn’t belong. Cerena stutters when she gets excited, so she tries to stay low key and not talk much. She is a tomboy, who loves to walk barefoot and help her daddy and granddaddy mow the yard.

One day her entire world turned upside down. She was sexually violated by her older brother. It happened in the small town of Allenville, Mississippi, during the period of segregation.

Cerena (CeeCee is her nickname) was violated in March 1966, at the tender age of eight years old.  The molestation continued until she was eighteen years old. Sexual molestation from her brother, uncle and two male cousins        

caused this bubbly, energetic, vibrant little girl to become stuck in a web of pain.

Her innocence was taken away one Saturday morning, in her bedroom. While playing tag, baseball, and other fun games with her friends and dolls with her female cousins, she was introduced to a life she knew nothing about. This incident left little CeeCee totally confused. She wanted to ask questions and needed answers, but she had no one to confide in.

While CeeCee didn’t understand the world she was in, all she knew was she wanted to be free. According to her, this world was so unpleasant. Her dreams were shattered, she felt like she was a target of not becoming all that she wanted to be, because of the senseless act that was done to her.

Even though CeeCee was fragile, quietly, known as a tomboy and had dreams, of becoming whatever she desired, she felt like she couldn’t. Her mind was suppressed by the incidents that occurred in her life.

She felt like a slave to her predators, she believed what they told her. Don’t tell anybody or If you tell, they will not believe you.  Every time the incidents occurred; she

Change Begins with a Whisper

heard those words. She laid there helpless and didn’t know what was happening and why it was happening.

Even though, CeeCee is a member of a strong Christian family, they also were dysfunctional. Henry Wailes, CeeCee’s father, married Hannah, when she had four children and jealousy arose among the children. CeeCee is a member of the youth choir, sunshine band and active in Sunday school.

From the teachings of her Pastor, schoolteacher, not to mention the upbringing of her parents, she still didn’t understand why God allowed something like that to happen to her. Here’s a precious innocent little girl depending on God to take care and watch over her, didn’t understand why He was allowing this to happen to her.

The concept (whatever happens in the family, stays in the family) did more harm than good. She was walking around frustrated, upset, resentful, bitter and powerless. She wanted to know what was going on and why was this happening to her. She was the only one getting hurt, while the other person or persons was having their way with her.

Introduction

They were also living their lives to the fullest, while she just existed.

CeeCee dealt with the web of pain until the age of thirty-three years old. She was tired of sabotaging friendships, driving good people out of her life, due to the pain of her past. The baggage of her past was extremely heavy. She wanted to be totally set free. She was completely healed, delivered, and set free when she accepted Jesus Christ as her personal Lord and Savior.

She also discovered holding it in, allowed the person to have power over her. That person controlled her happiness and freedom. When the perpetrator walked in the room, she would leave the room. Don’t allow a person to change your atmosphere. You are they puppet, they control your thought and mood process.

Change Begins with a Whisper

❖Chapter one❖

Just being cerena

The early 1960s were turbulent times for Mississippi. Society was strictly segregated along racial lines and the social, political, and economic rights of African Americans were suppressed through violence and other forms of intimidation.

It was Friday evening; no homework and the weekend had finally come. CeeCee felt like this was the longest week she had ever experienced. She was extra excited; spring break had finally arrived, meaning no school for an entire week.

Happy the day has ended; she got off the bus and ran in the house, threw her books down and headed outside. When she put her hand on the doorknob, her mama said, Lil girl if you don’t get yourself back in here, put your stuff in your room, change your clothes, it’s going to be a problem.  CeeCee turned around