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    YOLO: Essential Life Hacks for Happiness
    YOLO: Essential Life Hacks for Happiness
    YOLO: Essential Life Hacks for Happiness
    Ebook221 pages2 hours

    YOLO: Essential Life Hacks for Happiness

    By Vindy Teja

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    About this ebook

    Are you feeling frustrated or unsatisfied in your relationships with others?
    Are you unmotivated, confused, or overwhelmed?
    Are you striving to find more joy and meaning in your life?

    YOLO: Essential Life Hacks for Happiness presents simple yet powerful approaches to unlock the doors to a happy life, no matter what age or stage you are. As Lao Tsu said:

    Watch your thoughts; they become words
    Watch your words; they become actions.
    Watch your actions; they become habits.
    Watch your habits; they become character.
    Watch your character; it becomes your destiny

    In these pages, you'll have a user-friendly workbook to free you up in all the areas that matter :

    • Love
    • Courage
    • Wisdom
    • School/Work
    • Play

    Each section has real life examples that will help you see what success looks like in each part of your life. Filled with positive life lessons and reinforcement, this guide will improve your well being and lower your stress in minutes a day with the simple life hacks it provides, and the reminders to go from thoughts to words and actions (TWA).

    With questions and self-guided simple questions, you will be able to find happiness and strength for your own tough times.

    You seek out life hacks for everything under the sun, from troubleshooting your smart phone to how to remove a grease stain from your favorite T-shirt…it's time for you to try the life hacks for happiness!

    “This book by Vindy Teja is about mindful living, and it will make you laugh, cry, and think. It is written by a woman of passion, grace and fire... Dig deep, and find your thick veins of silver and nuggets of gold here.” - Jonathan Michael, Senior Birkman Consultant and Coach

    "The book is smart in that each chapter's skills learned leads to the next chapter so that you are building your skillset of 'life hacks'." - Janet, Goodreads
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherThe Unapologetic Voice House LLC
    Release dateNov 5, 2019
    ISBN9781999098513
    YOLO: Essential Life Hacks for Happiness
    Author

    Vindy Teja

    Vindy Teja, LL.B. is a TEDx speaker, professional life and divorce coach, and parent. She is a graduate of The University of British Columbia and Western Law School, and after following her Call to the B.C. Bar, she discovered her coaching passion as Director of Career Development at Western Law School, where she also authored a comprehensive student career resource manual. Vindy’s diverse background, including her own experience of divorce and parenting, has equipped her with a continuing passion and wide lens with which to assist others create healthy lives and futures. Vindy's clients say "She is kind and personable, fun and honest.... a wonderful co-pilot to have on your journey," who "has always provided me with constructive, practical guidance while always managing to make me laugh during the constant stress." Visit Vindy at vindyteja.com, and get YOLO extras by signing up for her newsletter. You can also be inspired by her Instagram @vintea11, her tweets @vindyteja, and of course her TEDx videos on YouTube.

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      Book preview

      YOLO - Vindy Teja

      support.

      Introduction

      There are lots of guidebooks out there about happiness, success and empowerment. Many convey similar messages, but with different audiences or perspectives in mind. So what makes this one special? I’m not an expert on your life and what will work for you. You get to fill those shoes. However, I am an expert on mine.

      If I wrote a guide for my younger, motivated, yet naïve self…or the complete opposite, for my darkest days, when experiencing a multitude of negative and confusing states, this would be it.

      Up until my thirties, I felt like I sailed through life. I was a cheerful kid. I excelled in sports, especially volleyball and track. School was fun and I did well, from Kindergarten right through to law school. I was valued by the law firm and universities I had worked for, and was blessed to enjoy solid relationships with family and friends. In first year university, I started dating The Guy … and five years later I married him, the man I loved. My life certainly hadn’t been absent of challenges, but I definitely considered myself a happy, mature and fulfilled person overall. So far so good, right?

      It was after that period that I began to experience some serious challenges and setbacks. It began with the unexpected illness and death of my father. It was promptly followed with news that my husband and I wouldn’t be able to conceive children without undergoing expensive fertility treatments. A few years later, I was blessed to give birth to my daughter, only to be followed by a divorce from hell a couple of years after that. A few years after surviving a grueling four-year divorce process, I was hit with a personal health scare that might leave my pre-teen daughter motherless. There’s no way I signed up for this!

      In the span of a decade and a half, I juggled a multitude of serious stressors that were virtually foreign to me. Loss, fear of the future, anxiety, anger, blame, confusion, uncertainty. At times, it was an overwhelming vortex of emotions. I was confused and wounded, but knew I didn’t want to act or live from that place. I had to dig deep to find tools in my kit, and put them to immediate use. And I had to acquire some new ones if I had any hopes of emerging a stronger, happier and more peaceful person.

      Vindy, it’s definitely time to write that book, I told myself. I needed clarity and solutions. I knew I wasn’t alone, and that others around me faced similar challenges. These ups and downs were part of the universal human condition, or full catastrophe living as referred to by the founder of the modern mindfulness movement, Dr. Jon Kabot-Zinn. As a thoughtful and logical person, I concluded that if there was any chance my daughter would be unable to seek my input directly, I didn’t want her consulting a Ouija Board to attempt to do so! The very least I could do is share my Whats, Whys and Hows about living life fully. The ones I considered the most simple and powerful—the essential life hacks to happiness.

      Fortunately, my health issue got resolved. My passion for this project, however, remained undeniably strong. This book reflects what’s worked well in my life, what’s flopped and what’s undergone fine-tuning. It represents my experience, observations, philosophies, studies and interviews. I’m a huge believer in collective learning and wisdom, so I’ve brought together other voices in this book. They come from various cultural backgrounds as well as diverse professional backgrounds, such as education, law, business, medicine, government, entertainment, sports, coaching and social work. Following each chapter, you will find summary points and reflection questions so you can use this book as your personal workbook.

      Thank you for joining me on this journey.

      Allow yourself to dream,

      And when you do, dream big.

      Allow yourself to learn,

      And when you do, learn all that you can.

      Allow yourself to laugh,

      And when you do, share your laughter.

      Allow yourself to set goals,

      And when you do, reward yourself as you move forward.

      Allow yourself to be determined,

      And when you do, you will find you will succeed.

      Allow yourself to believe in yourself,

      And when you do, you will find self-confidence.

      Allow yourself to lend a helping hand.

      And when you do, a hand will help you.

      Allow yourself relaxation,

      And when you do, you will find new ideas.

      Allow yourself love,

      And when you do, you will find love in return.

      Allow yourself to be happy,

      And when you do, you will influence others around you.

      Allow yourself to be positive,

      And when you do, life will get easier.

      —Catherine Pulsifer, Words of Wisdom, www.wow4u.com¹

      1 Pulsifer, Catherine, Allow Yourself Copyright 2009, Motivational Poems, Words of Wisdom, updated January 8, 2020, https://www.wow4u.com/poems/. Reprinted with permission.

      PART I: HOME

      SECTION A: LOVE

      CHAPTER 1

      Love Each Other

      All you need is love
      All you need is love
      All you need is love, love
      Love is all you need

      —Beatles, All You Need is Love

      Love is not a mere sentiment, but the ultimate truth at the heart of the universe.

      —Rabindranath Tagore, Poet and Artist

      Love Love vs. Love

      Love love versus love? It’s one of the best ways I can describe the difference in meaning of a word that gets thrown around all the time and loses its meaning. You’ll love the new action movie playing downtown or Alex loves nachos with extra cheese is clearly not the same as I love my mom and dad or My sister loves her friend Sheryl. They’ve known each other since they were 9 years old.

      Maybe you will love the new action movie playing downtown. But right now, I’m concerned with love, love—the deeper emotion you feel for those close to you. It’s incredibly powerful. It transforms lives, relationships and families. It energizes you.

      There was once a middle-aged man named Lester Levenson. He was a successful entrepreneur but overall he found himself unhappy with his life. He had a number of serious physical problems. His doctors told him he didn’t have long to live. He was incurable. But Lester didn’t want to die, so he asked himself this question … What do I have to do to turn this around? What do I have to do to be healthy and happy again?

      He decided he had to deal with all of his negative states and emotions, embracing them with unconditional love, and then releasing them. All the anger, the frustration, the fear, the defensiveness, the insecurity, you name it, it had to go, and in their place, nothing but love.

      He lived into his 80s and went on to inspire hundreds of thousands with the release technique, helping them find their own way to inner peace, health, happiness and personal success by simply letting go of negative emotions and letting love fill the space left behind.²

      The man was terminally ill, but something miraculous happened. Love made it all better. Love gave him new life and a new sense of purpose. And whenever you find yourself struggling, it can for you too. You don’t have to struggle.

      Love is the ultimate life hack. All you need is love. Love is all you need.

      As a child, Karima Bawa was forced to relocate to a new continent along with her family and many others, starting a new life in Canada with very few financial resources. When reflecting on the most important and relevant lesson she took from this experience, she answered this way:

      I’ve concluded that the key lesson was understanding the importance of feeling secure. My family may not have had much in terms of food, money or ability to do things, but what made it feel safe was the unconditional support and love my siblings and I always received. I never had the impression growing up that our lives and circumstances were scary; instead, I got the impression it was an adventure. My parents never let on that we were at risk or that we were worth any less than people who had more. And it was these feelings I carried with me into my core.

      Karima’s solid foundation served her well. She went on to become a successful lawyer, work that took her all over the world. She is an engaged parent, active community member and philanthropist. Having worked closely with her father in one of his businesses as a young woman, Karima always dreamed of starting her own business. After leaving the active practice of law, she did just that.

      TWA Your Way into Love (Thoughts, Words, Action)

      I’m a big fan of the TWA 3-step process, a background program running in your life, so to speak. Thoughts—Words—Actions. Here’s the jingle to go along with it: the thought becomes the word which becomes the action.

      Though this program is running all the time, once you’re consciously aware of it, it becomes a life hack that you can use way more effectively. With time and practice, you’ll notice positive shifts, ones you can replicate in multiple areas of your life and with all the people in your world.

      It’s not a new concept. Here’s the extend-a-mix version of TWA from Lau-Tzu, an ancient Chinese philosopher and writer.

      Watch your thoughts; they become words.

      Watch your words; they become actions.

      Watch your actions; they become habits.

      Watch your habits; they become character.

      Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

      You can use the TWA steps to your advantage in multiple venues: at home, school, work, out with friends or family, and even during your downtime when you’re alone with your thoughts.

      SUMMARY

      Love Each Other

      LIFE HACKS

      Love is a deep emotion you feel, the power of which can be harnessed to transform lives, relationships and families. It energizes you.

      Whenever you find yourself struggling, love can give you a new life and a new sense of purpose.

      TWA your way into love (Thoughts, Words, Action). TWA is already taking place in your life but by becoming aware of it, you can use it more effectively and effortlessly in all areas of your life.

      Your thoughts become words, your words become actions.

      QUESTIONS AND EXERCISES

      Make a list of the most important relationships in your life. This especially includes the relationship with yourself! The list can be as short or as long as you like.

      Identify the strongest or most loving relationships (or people) on that list.

      What positive thoughts, words and actions do you associate with those relationships or people?

      What aspects from those relationships can you apply to the ones that you want to improve?

      2 Lester Created The Sedona Method to Save His Own Life, The Sedona Method, Sedona Training Associates. updated April 3, 2020, https://www.sedona.com/Lesters-Story.asp.

      CHAPTER 2

      Thoughts—The Baseline

      As you think, so shall you become.

      —Bruce Lee, Actor, Martial Artist, Philosopher

      Never let the things you want stop you from being grateful for what you have.

      —Unknown

      Never underestimate the power of your thoughts. Your mind is the creator of your world. What you think determines your feelings and attitudes, which are expressed in your daily words and actions, multiplied by 365 days a year. Thinking of yourself or others as unworthy, incapable, unlovable, or unattractive leads to negative feelings. No surprise there.

      Your feelings also help determine your thoughts. In that way it’s like a loop. By paying attention to your feelings, rather than pushing them aside, you get precious data about what’s going on in your internal world and what matters to you most…and that clarity can help direct your energy better.

      Obsessing about goal-setting, achieving and the future robs you of enjoying the present. The end result: feeling sad, mad, bad, or a mix of all three! These emotions suck out your energy, energy you can no doubt spend on a million better things.

      Cultivating kind, open and loving thoughts about yourself and others is not always easy, especially when you’re tapped out, sick, had a disagreement with someone, or just had a stinky day in general.

      But the proverbial

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