Heart

Page

Heart

ISBN # 978-1-78430-725-7

©Copyright Bailey Bradford 2015

Cover Art by Posh Gosh ©Copyright August 2015

Edited by Rebecca Douglas

Pride Publishing

This is a work of fiction. All characters, places and events are from the author’s imagination and should not be confused with fact. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, events or places is purely coincidental.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form, whether by printing, photocopying, scanning or otherwise without the written permission of the publisher, Pride Publishing.

Applications should be addressed in the first instance, in writing, to Pride Publishing. Unauthorised or restricted acts in relation to this publication may result in civil proceedings and/or criminal prosecution.

The author and illustrator have asserted their respective rights under the Copyright Designs and Patents Acts 1988 (as amended) to be identified as the author of this book and illustrator of the artwork.

Published in 2015 by Pride Publishing, Newland House, The Point, Weaver Road, Lincoln, LN6 3QN

Pride Publishing is a subsidiary of Totally Entwined Group Limited.

Spotless

HEART

Bailey Bradford

Book four in the Spotless series

Rolly has waited ten years to claim his mate. Now the wait is over, and he’s coming home.

Rolly has waited patiently for his mate. When he first met Erdwin, the boy was still a child. Rolly felt nothing but compassion for him back then, but Erdwin came of age five years ago, and Rolly’s stayed out of his life in order to give Erdwin time to experience life.

Erdwin never fit right in his skin. He didn’t like what he saw in the mirror. It didn’t match how he felt inside. As a shifter, he was stuck with the body he had. Surgery wasn’t an option for him. But Erdwin found a way to accept himself—by embracing the part of herself that felt like her true nature. She struggled with it, but with her family’s support, she became Edie, the young lady she was meant to be. She stopped worrying about her parts, and concentrated on her heart.

When Rolly, a powerful shaman, moves back home to the pack, Edie is transfixed. He makes her nervous—and arouses her. But what would a man like him think of a woman liker her?

Edie’s about to find out, and she will have to be stronger than ever to help fight off a threat to her pack, to her mate, and to her family.

Dedication

To Jaymi, who helped me immensely with this one, and to Cherri, who inspired the whole Leopard’s Spots, which led to the Spotless series. I love you, ladies!

Trademarks Acknowledgement

The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of the following wordmarks mentioned in this work of fiction:

Boudro’s: Cajun Riverport, Inc

eBay: eBay, Inc.

Nintendo: Nintendo

Breakfast on Pluto: Sony Pictures Classics Pathe

Chapter One

Edie posed before the full-length mirror in her tiny bedroom. She stuck her butt out a little more, arching her lower back and trying to emulate the stick-thin model on the page of the magazine tacked onto the mirror’s frame. How do you even have a butt? Edie asked the picture.

There was no way she’d ever be that skinny. Of course, she’d never have a vagina or full breasts, either.

Edie frowned, then scowled. What idiot decided that’s what women should look like anyway? Why am I even trying to look like you? She tore the paper down. You’ve got nothing on Marilyn, girl.

Edie preferred the curves and softness on a woman to those stick-straight lines she’d been trying to copy. Even with the parts she had, Edie was curvier than that model.

Well, okay, maybe they were equal on the lack of breasts part.

Edie pulled her dress out and glared at her flat chest. Breasts weren’t ever going to develop there, and implants were out of the question. As a shifter, her body wouldn’t tolerate anything like that.

She was okay with it, mostly, though. She had to be. A good bra fixed the problem, and anyway, while she’d felt a bit off in her body as a child, maturity had brought around a certain level of comfort with it.

The fact was there would be no altering her body from male to female, not since she was a shifter.

Edie had accepted that and now actually liked having the equipment she had. It was a pain to tuck and such, but yeah, she was content. Mostly. Okay, no, but she was learning to be happy with what she had.

With her body, at least. Everything else was…confusing and scary. Edie pushed a curl behind her ear. She flicked the clip-on earring dangling from that lobe. It was too bad pierced ears weren’t possible either.

Although, maybe, if she talked to the shaman—

Edie shook her head. No way.

There wasn’t any chance she’d run into Rolly if she sought out Remus, and yet she couldn’t get Rolly out of her thoughts. It seemed like any time she left her house, or even her bedroom lately, she carried the expectation of seeing the man again. It was giving her the creeps or something like that. No, not the creeps. Rolly’s not a bad person. He’s just… I don’t know. He’s always unsettled me. Edie couldn’t figure it out.

Maybe Rolly had returned, and she knew it subconsciously? Though why would that be? The past year, she’d thought a lot about Rolly, though he’d always fascinated her, and scared her, too.

Rolly hadn’t done anything to harm her. He’d only ever spoken a few words to her. Edie had always been too shy and nervous to give him a chance to do more. There was no reason for him to, anyway. Rolly had proven himself to be a very powerful shaman in his own right five years ago, almost on par with his father, Remus. For all Edie knew, Rolly could have surpassed him in shamanistic abilities.

Why did she keep thinking of him? It was like she could feel him, not right there in her face, but in the background, somewhere, watching. Waiting. For what, she didn’t know. It made Edie’s belly go tight and hot.

Although, she mused as she looked at herself again, Rolly had yet to see her like this. All he’d seen was Erdwin, Edie’s blah half—as far as Edie knew. She couldn’t think of a time when Rolly would have had the opportunity to see her as her real self.

As Erdwin, Edie did feel even more out of place. Scared, timid, just out and out wrong in her skin. Plain as that nasty vanilla yogurt, she murmured to her reflection. It was amazing how much confidence a subtle application of makeup and a change of clothes gave her.

Not enough to go talk to Remus. Edie huffed and pouted. Oh, she looked cute like that! Ducklips! Definitely going to have to try that on a cute boy in town as soon as I can work up the nerve.

There was that strange tug in her gut again, warming her up.

No, damn it. Edie dabbed at the beads of sweat on her brow.

You okay in there? Solomon called out at the same time that he tapped on the door. I thought you were coming down for supper.

Fine, Edie replied, giving herself another once-over. Just got distracted.

Solomon snorted loud enough to be heard through the wooden door.

Edie grinned and hurried over to it. She was lucky to have the family she did, even if they were a huge clan of loud people. They were loving and accepting, and that was a lot more than many people in her situation had.

Come on, Solomon said as he held out his elbow. It’s your birthday, and you’ve kept everyone waiting.

It’s embarrassing. Edie slipped her arm through her brother’s. I told you I didn’t want a party.

It’s not a party, Solomon informed her. If it was, we’d have invited people, but you aren’t comfortable with that, so… It’s only your family, celebrating the fact that they love you like crazy, and that you just started the long, slippery slope toward being an old maid.

Edie turned her nose up at her brother and huffed. I’m only twenty-three! And that’s just four years younger than you!

Yeah, Solomon agreed. But I don’t age. I just improve.

Dork. Edie couldn’t contain a snicker then. Solomon was a goofball. And she was glad there weren’t any guests. Other people always made her uncomfortable. She was afraid to be herself around them. For that reason alone, Edie preferred to hide when there were any visitors.

So I get the singing and cake, and presents? she asked for clarification.

Oh yeah, Solomon agreed. Azil is hardcore about birthdays being a big deal. You know that.

Edie grinned. She did indeed know that Solomon’s mate insisted on making every birthday into a full-blown party. Edie put that down to Azil having lived most of his life in a very oppressive society—and to him just being a sweetheart. Well then, that makes up for the whole birthday acknowledgment, I guess.

Solomon cocked his head. You knew you were getting a party. We weren’t going to ignore this day.

Edie nodded. Of course. Azil wouldn’t let me get by without having a party, and that’s awesome—Azil’s awesome. I just get nervous around other people. It’s so hard to even think about being my true self around them. It helps that you said no guests. As long as it’s just family, I’m okay.

"Azil is awesome, I agree. As for the guests… I know, sweetie. Solomon brushed her cheek with a featherlight kiss. But you should be proud of yourself and let everyone else see how you shine. Be yourself."

Edie bit back a sarcastic reply. Solomon was only trying to help. He didn’t understand the depth of her fear and discomfort in social situations. Probably because it wasn’t consistent. Sometimes she could go out in public with her family, but other times, she had to stay home and just hide.

I do the best I can, Edie settled on saying.

Solomon sighed and stopped them mid-stairs. He tipped her chin up until she had to look at him. I know you do, Edie. It’s just that you’re so amazing, and so loving, I hate to see you hide away—even though you think you have to. Don’t think for one minute I believe you do it to pout or for attention. You have a big heart, and you love your family. You’d rather be with us, having fun, than alone in your room.

You’re going to make me cry, Edie rasped out, closing her eyes to try to keep the tears from falling. And mess my makeup.

Solomon pulled her into a gentle embrace. He rested his chin on her head. I didn’t mean to. I just want you to know how much you’re loved.

I do. Edie was the luckiest girl in the world, in that respect. It was just so much harder to love herself, but she was getting better at it. She wasn’t like anyone else there in the pack, and that was okay. It was going to have to be okay. Edie couldn’t help the way she felt inside. She would accept it, though. She was who and what she was, period. Her family loved her. It was the rest of the world, and especially the pack, that worried her.

Here’s the birthday girl, Solomon announced when they reached the bottom of the stairs. The shouted birthday greetings were almost deafening.

Edie blushed, both with pleasure and embarrassment. It was wonderful to be loved yet even with family, being the center of attention made her uncomfortable.

Thank you, she said once everyone had quieted down. Y’all are the best, you know that, right? Edie made sure to look at every one of her siblings, including the in-laws. Her heart swelled with joy. I wouldn’t be able to do this without y’all. She gestured to herself, knowing they’d understand what she meant.

Azil wiped at his eyes. You know we will always have your back, Edie. No one will be allowed to hurt you.

Edie bobbed her head, wondering if that was a subtle push for her to brave the outside world as she was. The fear of rejection by the pack was a terrible weight on her shoulders. Thank you, Edie repeated, meaning it as sincerely as she had before. So, let’s have cake!

Yes! Rhea exclaimed, clapping once. I need sugar!

Edie laughed at her youngest sister’s exuberance. As a teenager, Rhea’s moods could flit from good to bad in the blink of an eye. Everyone had learned to grasp at the good while they had the chance.

Just as Edie was heading toward the dining room, the doorbell rang. She stopped, her nerves kicking in immediately. Edie looked at Solomon.

Solomon frowned, turning toward the door. What the heck? We aren’t expecting anyone. Go on to the dining room. I’ll get the door and send whoever’s there on their way.

Edie hesitated despite her urge to escape. It wasn’t like someone was coming in to hurt her, and she needed to get past the shyness that would cripple her if she didn’t conquer it. And if she ever wanted to freely be the woman she felt herself to be, then she had to stop hiding sometime. Right? It’s my own home. Maybe I can start here, stop hiding, and just…just live?

Even so, she moved almost out of sight as Solomon groaned when he looked through the peephole.

Why now? Solomon muttered before unlocking the door. He opened it six inches or so. Bobby, Sully. What brings y’all by tonight?

Edie couldn’t see Bobby or Sully, but she certainly heard Bobby speak.

"Well, now, I am the alpha of this pack, and seein’ as I wasn’t invited to Edie’s birthday party—again, mind you—and neither was my mate, I figured y’all just forgot our invitations. Didn’t want y’all to wonder why we didn’t show up and have y’all feel bad an’ all."

Edie was frozen in place. Bobby had referred to her as Edie, not as Erdwin. That meant he knew… Somehow, he knew about her. That she was she, not he. Edie’s heart pounded so hard she felt dizzy as fear coursed through her, numbing her fingers and toes. She couldn’t even breathe.

Solomon had tensed, his knuckles going white on the doorknob. What’re you talking about, Bobby?

For all that Bobby talked like a good ol’ boy, he was very smart. Too many people were lulled by his dropped consonants and Southern drawl, but he was keenly intelligent and a deadly foe. And somehow, he’d found out about Edie. As her alpha, Bobby had a right to know, especially since her mere existence might cause a problem for the pack.

Edie jerked herself out of her shocked state and sucked in a sharp breath. She had to grow up, and develop that backbone she’d need to get through life.

Bobby, meanwhile, had snorted and started talking again. Solomon, y’all are pack, and I’m the alpha. I ain’t stupid, and you know that. You think you’re doing Edie any damn good by lettin’ her hide here all the time?

I— Solomon began but Edie spoke over him.

He did it for me, because I asked, she explained, her voice only quivering a little.

Solomon snapped his head around to look at her.

Edie took a deep breath, and swallowed past the fear clogging her throat. She took one step, then another, and after the first few, those steps got easier to take. Soon she was standing beside her brother, and tugging at the door as she worked up to looking Bobby in the eyes.

You look beautiful, darlin’, Bobby said. And definitely, Edie fits you.

"You are gorgeous, Sully added. Wow. I’m blown away. You were pretty before but now—just, wow."

Edie’s cheeks were going to be permanently red at this rate. She could hear the sincerity in those compliments. Thank you both. What do I say besides that? Um, would y’all like to come in? She finally dragged her gaze up to Sully’s first, and found nothing but kindness and understanding there.

Sully smiled sweetly at her. We would. We even brought presents.

Yup, we sure did. Bobby’s words drew her attention to him.

It was always hard for her to look directly at the alpha, but this time, once she did, something in her eased. She’d been hiding from him for years, at least hiding the part of her he was now seeing, and to be able to be honest and open with her alpha was a heady experience.

Bobby’s usual grin was in place as he stepped back and gestured for Sully to enter first. After you, sweet stuff.

Sully crossed his eyes at Bobby. Like flattery’s necessary.

Bobby popped Sully on the butt. "Ain’t flattery