There is Beauty Here: Finding Joy After Failure
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About this ebook
Rebecca Bolin
Rebecca Bolin is an adjunct English professor at Texas A&M University—Commerce. She is the author of the article “Split-Second Miracle in Sulphur Springs” (2008) and is currently cowriting a book with her mother, who is eighty-seven. When she is not writing or teaching, Rebecca enjoys reading, running, travel, and entertaining her young grandson.
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There is Beauty Here - Rebecca Bolin
Introduction
Many of us are familiar with the stages of grief when we lose a loved one. Our hearts are sorrowful, and we must find a way to cope with the emotions that threaten to consume us. Other events, such as divorce, can trigger similar patterns in our lives. For the Christian, the realization that we have failed God, our loving heavenly father, and wounded those we love can launch a cycle of grief, guilt, remorse, depression, and self-doubt that can become spiritually crippling if we allow it to consume us. We know God forgives, but how do we forgive ourselves and let go of the grief and pain we have caused? How do we achieve spiritual freedom from the chains of condemnation the enemy desires to keep fastened upon us?
Although the process is not easy, there is healing and restoration from the knowledge and pain of failure. There is a soothing balm for the guilt and remorse that rise up against us, and it is found in the word of God and in spending time with our savior. All the answers we need are plainly given to those who seek him with a broken heart and contrite spirit. We can learn to accept, and yes, love the new person we have become through the faithfulness and provision of our loving heavenly father. The journey begins with learning to see ourselves the way God sees us.
I would like for readers of this devotional to know that I approach the writing of this work with complete humility and awareness of my sin before God. Romans 2:10 teaches, For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God (KJV). There is not one of us who has attained perfection in our spiritual walk; only Christ was able to achieve that. Yet, some of us seem to really miss the mark and commit sins that leave ourselves and others broken and hurting. I was one of those people. I can relate to Paul who states in 1Timothy 1:15,
This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief" (KJV). I recognized my sin, my shortcomings, and my absolute need for the atoning blood of Jesus to cover my transgressions and cleanse me from all unrighteousness. Even though I prayed earnestly and often for forgiveness for my own failures, I struggled for years with guilt, depression and deep remorse. I punished myself by refusing opportunities to minister and touch others, and I questioned whether or not I was truly forgiven. I isolated myself from those around me and thought I was not worthy to be used by God. By searching the Bible and writing down every detail of what God revealed to me through the scriptures, I gradually came to appreciate and embrace the unfailing love and boundless mercy of our heavenly father; I was able to release the pain and, finally, forgive myself.
This devotional is a compilation of that time spent with the Lord, reading his word, meditating upon it, praying, and listening to his voice. My deepest and most sincere prayer is that you will find refuge, help, comfort, peace, and healing as you read these words and search the scriptures with me. May God’s blessings rest upon each of you.
There is Beauty Here
Day 1
But now, O Lord, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand
—Isa 64:8 KJV
We are all like lumps of clay in the hands of a loving God. There is beauty in the way he pulls us up from the miry pit and shapes us into a fine vessel that is ready for service. God takes all of our dirt and filth and clothes us in his righteousness. Even when we go through correction, hardship, pain, and disappointment there is beauty in the way God puts us back on the wheel and molds us and shapes us into a work of art that is pleasing to him. He keeps working the clay and fashions us into an instrument that can be used by him. He smooths out the rough edges and fires us in trials that test the limits of our strength and yet, somehow, make us even stronger. Sometimes, he even crushes us and starts over, but he never throws us away. He is the master creator, and we are his handiwork. His discipline can be hard, but he guides us through his living word. When we heed his word, he speaks to us through it, and reveals the areas where we need to be refined. There is beauty in the work he is doing. There is beauty in the time he takes to get our attention and correct us. There is beauty in the way he orchestrates our lives to place us in contact with people who speak light and life to us. There is beauty in the way he defines our path—how he laid it out from the very beginning to