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    What are we going to do about Mom and Dad?: A Navigational Guide to Senior Living and Care
    What are we going to do about Mom and Dad?: A Navigational Guide to Senior Living and Care
    What are we going to do about Mom and Dad?: A Navigational Guide to Senior Living and Care
    Ebook116 pages55 minutes

    What are we going to do about Mom and Dad?: A Navigational Guide to Senior Living and Care

    By Jane Meyers-Bowen

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    About this ebook

    You find out from the doctor that your parent is no longer safe living alone and can't return home from the hospital. And you have 2 days to make arrangements! All of a sudden you are thrust into situation that you have no clue of how to handle. You are facing a whole world of vocabulary, options, financial and legal questions.
    What are we going to do? Where do we start? How am I going to handle this? Who is out there to get us through this? What are the options? How much will this cost? How are we going to pay for this? How are we going to break this to Mom and Dad?
    This book is written to guide you through it. It's about navigating the ground game. You can spend hours researching, analyzing and becoming an expert yet do you have time for that? This book is process oriented. Here are the steps, definitions, discussions to have, the financial piece, things to consider when making decisions, and how to honor your senior in the process. The goal is your parent's wellbeing and safety. Your strategy must be realistic and sustainable. It's one of those books that you carry with you, read as you go, review and discuss in family meetings. It is designed to get you and your senior through it and to a positive place in the long run.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBookBaby
    Release dateSep 30, 2019
    ISBN9781543984750
    What are we going to do about Mom and Dad?: A Navigational Guide to Senior Living and Care

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      Book preview

      What are we going to do about Mom and Dad? - Jane Meyers-Bowen

      cover.jpg

      © 2019 Jane Meyers-Bowen All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

      ISBN 978-1-54398-474-3 eBook 978-1-54398-475-0

      This book is dedicated to all my friends, colleagues, managers and family members who have taken a stand for me. Your support and inspiration have made a difference.

      Special thanks to my husband for your endless love and always believing in me;

      To my friends Claudia Glaze and Cynthia Graham for hours of editing and years of sisterhood;

      To all the seniors and their families for teaching me about the richness of the last chapters in life.

      Contents

      Chapter One: OMG What Happened?

      The Truth About Aging

      Myths, False Assumptions, and Fake News about Aging

      Beginning the Journey . . . What’s Ahead?

      Chapter Two: Buckle Up…It Could Be a Bumpy Ride!

      When is the time for a change?

      Let Freedom Ring

      What Are the Dangers?

      A Roadmap for This Journey

      Chapter Three: Moving Ahead

      What Are the Senior Living & Care Options? Taking a Closer Look*

      What’s Important for Your Senior?

      Touring

      The Fine Print

      The Safeguards

      How to Analyze If a Retirement Community is Alive and Well

      Chapter Four: The Talk, the Tour, the Timing

      Chapter Five: Taking the Wheel

      Decisions That Have to be Made

      Who Else Can Help?

      Chapter Six: How Grandma Got Swindled! How to Protect Your Parent

      Chapter Seven: Joining Their Journey

      A New Chapter

      A Legacy

      Chapter Eight: Saying Goodbye

      Chapter Nine: Your Turn

      Get Your Ducks in a Row

      Introduction

      Goals of This Book

      Educate adult children about recognizing and addressing the aging issues of their parents.

      Provide supportive coaching for adult children as they take on significant new roles and responsibilities during a time of major transition for the senior in their lives.

      Determine the different risks, solutions, and finally the rewards of a happy and safe parent.

      Most of us don’t know much about senior living and care until we are confronted with a parent whose mental, physical, cognitive, or emotional health changes. However, a recent Pew Research survey finds that 14% of adults in their 40s and 50s have already cared for an aging parent or other elderly family member, and nearly seven in ten say that it is very (48%) or somewhat (20%) likely they will have to do this in the future.

      I have written this book as a guide for families of seniors, seniors themselves, neighbors, friends and ministers—anyone in a position to assist a senior in a major life transition. As a former nurse who has worked in retirement and assisted-living communities for over fifteen years, I have had the opportunity and responsibility of coaching over four thousand seniors and their families with making wise decisions regarding senior living and care. I was honored to be present and involved in such an important process.

      Experience is the best teacher. I have also had to deal with this issue in my own life with my parents and in-laws. Let me tell you about my story that happened before I was professionally involved with seniors and their families. Before I was professionally involved with senior living, our family faced a major wake-up call. It was July, and we were heading for a family reunion in Montana. Excited about seeing my parents face to face, we arrived late and got up early to join them for breakfast. The conversation flowed. We got updated and shared a few laughs and discussed the plan for the day.

      My mother and father had driven over the Rocky Mountains, with Dad at the wheel; they had arrived the day before. He owned a small trucking company before World War II, drove troop trucks during the war throughout Europe, and later bought and operated a 10,000-acre farm, which required his driving heavy equipment and trucks. So, Dad was the trusted driver in our family.

      Several years before, Dad had open heart-bypass surgery. He was always very bright, not much of a talker, a man of confidence. However, he emerged from surgery a different person. When he came out of recovery, my sister-in-law (who was also a nurse) and I looked at each other and were startled by his notable cognitive changes. He wasn’t as alert and was

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