Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Breathe
    Breathe
    Breathe
    Ebook106 pages1 hour

    Breathe

    By Nicki White

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    Inhale. Exhale. It became my mantra for far too long. Seeing me through the dark moments of our tumultuous relationship. Somehow in my world of happily ever after, my house became my cage and my husband became my captor. The question is how much longer will I be able to breathe?

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherNicki White
    Release dateOct 1, 2019
    ISBN9781393668350
    Breathe
    Author

    Nicki White

    I'm a bit on the sarcastic side, a bacon fanatic, hot sauce connoisseur and a book lover to the extreme. I am the mother of four little people and the other half of a ruling kingdom I call my home.

    Related to Breathe

    Related ebooks

    Psychological Fiction For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Getting Out of Prison Meant Leaving Dear Friends Behind

      Jun 1, 2018

      I have spent countless nights like this, lying awake, anticipating life, trying to escape imprisonment through my mind’s eye. I imagine the things I will do once I’m free. Flashes of me laughing with family and friends at a cookout or enjoying the co

      5 min read

    • Article

      Playing Nurse

      Sep 1, 2018

      Playing Nurse
      9 min read

    • Article

      Sylvie Baumgartel

      Jun 15, 2018

      I walked in the door, took off my coat, took off my sunglasses, set them down with my keys, took off my shoes and socks, my jeans, my shirt, my bra and underwear, set them all on the chair by the door, walked into the house naked, went to the fridge,

      10 min read

    • Article

      Letting Go

      Oct 30, 2021

      Letting Go
      7 min read

    • Article

      Letting Go

      Oct 29, 2021

      Letting Go
      7 min read

    • Article

      A Space for Life to Grow

      May 17, 2021

      A Space for Life to Grow
      9 min read

    • Article

      A Kind Of Magic

      Oct 2, 2022

      The first thing I notice about my new therapy appointment is that I’ve worn the wrong shoes. I’ve done everything else correctly: washed my hair, used deodorant, selected an age-appropriate shirt, practised my calm and knowledgeable voice. But thongs

      5 min read

    • Article

      Finding The Words

      Jun 3, 2023

      Finding The Words
      5 min read

    • Article

      Body Issues

      Jul 23, 2019

      Body Issues
      4 min read

    • Article

      Prey

      May 10, 2021

      As I drove slowly towards the mob of angry protestors and my meeting with 200, I thought of 199. The ashes of a once hard man, staring at me with wide eyes that pleaded for hope like a dog begging for treats. I’d somehow found a way to give him that

      41 min read

    • Article

      Prey

      Mar 10, 2024

      As I drove slowly toward the mob of angry protestors and my meeting with 200, I thought of 199. The ashes of a once hard man, staring at me with wide eyes that pleaded for hope like a dog begging for treats. I’d somehow found a way to give him that h

      41 min read

    • Article

      A Comma, Not A Full Stop

      Apr 21, 2023

      A Comma, Not A Full Stop
      8 min read

    • Article

      He Dreams About the Bunny Ranch

      Jan 4, 2022

      He Dreams About the Bunny Ranch
      15 min read

    • Article

      KILL A STRANGER Chapter 2

      Dec 31, 2020

      If you’ve never been in a situation like this before, you just can’t understand it. I’ll be blunt. It was absolutely terrifying. The nightmare started just like that. Bang. I literally woke with a start, and realised that I was being flung around in

      5 min read

    • Article

      Ask Ashley

      Feb 12, 2019

      Ask Ashley
      3 min read

    • Article

      LIVIN’ STRONG with Lex

      Dec 3, 2019

      LIVIN’ STRONG with Lex
      3 min read

    • Article

      Why We Cry When We’re Angry

      Oct 8, 2019

      Why We Cry When We’re Angry
      7 min read

    • Article

      Don’t Have A Bird

      Aug 2, 2020

      There are so many rites of passage you’ve already missed out on, and the school ball is destined to become another item on that ever-growing list. You try to delay the inevitable until every breath from your lungs sounds as if cystic fibrosis is cack

      12 min read

    • Article

      “I Escaped My Grandfather’s Sex Cult”

      Mar 16, 2022

      I was born into the Family, a religious movement founded in Huntington Beach, California, in 1968 by my grandfather David Brandt Berg, with help from his four children, including my father, Hosea. It was known as the Children of God in its early days

      8 min read

    • Article

      Ben Marcus

      Jun 15, 2018

      My wife, Gin, once knocked gently on my head, as if it were a door. “Hello,” she kept saying. “Hello. Who’s in there?” She and our therapist, Dr. Sherby, laughed a little about this, so I did, too. What fun. Keep knocking on my head like that, like i

      23 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for Breathe

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      Breathe - Nicki White

      I’m sorry.

      I didn’t say anything.

      Foreword

      The worst part is knowing the blow they just administered caused serious damage and you can't say a word; you have to suck it up and suffer in silence hoping it will all be okay after a while.

      Waiting, hoping, and pleading with your inner self. Self vs. SELF you start telling yourself, it will be okay, keep pushing!

      Don't let this blow, this matter, this moment, interrupt your day. You got this, that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

      Only to find out the self-talk wasn't enough, the words weren't working, you were losing the battle against self.

      You begin to doubt your own worth, question every move before it happened thinking about how I can prevent it in the future.

      You found out you weren't really as strong as you thought in the end. You weren’t strong enough to walk away. You weren't strong enough to say no more. You forgot about you. You forgot that while you love them it's not enough.

      You have to love you too! You have to put as much effort into protecting you as you do them. It's okay, I know it can be a lot to process.

      Don't be so hard on yourself! Stop! It's going to be okay!

      Just BREATHE! You feel that? No not that, I think you missed it. Quiet your mind, close your eyes, and do it again Breathe!

      Take a deep breath in and then let it out.

      Breathe!

      It's not over! You have another chance to fight for you! Come on you can do it.

      BREATHE!

      INHALE!

      Do it for you! Every time you inhale you are giving yourself permission, permission to Be! Permission to go farther than you thought you could.

      EXHALE!

      Like you, it's the most important part of the process. If you don't exhale, the very thing you took in to help you will now kill you! Exhaling is your reminder. You can't hold onto things too long or they will eventually kill you.

      Let go of the hurt, let go of the pain, let go of the thoughts of what it could have been and see it for what it really is, TOXIC! Detrimental to your next breath.

      Remember you! You are the air you need! Forgetting about you is the same as not breathing. If you don't take time to BREATHE the next time won't even matter, because it may never come.

      All things toxic must exit just like the air we breathe. Obstructions in the airways will cause you to stop breathing. Don't let them be an obstruction to your life. Clear your airways and just BREATHE! Do it for you! Because you are worth it, and you deserve the same protection you offer them. Now Love you a little more!

      INHALE!

      EXHALE!

      BREATHE!

      -Annie Thompson

      Domestic violence does not discriminate. Your gender, religion, race, age, and sexual orientation will not release you from being a victim or a perpetrator of domestic violence. The status of your relationship, whether it is dating, a domestic partnership, or married does not mean it can’t happen to you. Your education and socioeconomic background have no influence on being a victim or perpetrator. It can affect anyone.

      Chapter One

      Bruised and bloodied , I had awoken from a deep slumber, I had never wished to take. The dried blood that lies under my swollen lip crumbles under my fingers as I swipe my hand across my face to confirm the damage I already knew was there. A cut above my eyebrow stings at the presence of my finger when it enters its domain. A butterfly bandage should hold that until it heals. As I sit up and place both of my feet down on the floor, I grasp my shirt which has managed to dangle precariously off the bedside lamp. Slowly bringing it over my body, I wince from the pain that has taken my breath away.

      Breathe.

      Inhale. Exhale.

      Breathe.

      Inhale. Exhale.

      Counting, I feel my ribs through the shirt. If you can even call it that. It now resembles a rag for cleaning, stretched and torn, beyond recognition. I make sure none of my ribs have suffered from any fractures. A process I have seen doctors complete more times than I would like to admit. I know with all sincerity now that yes, they are bruised and in an unpleasant state, but I am lucky none are broken. While I may be in pain, last night will not result in a visit to the emergency room. There will be no need to concoct a story that will permit me from returning to my home and completing my duties as his wife— cooking, cleaning, and catering.

      I rise to my feet with as much tenderness as I can, knowing my body wants to collide with the mess of a mattress in which I was just strewn across. I have to see the damage that has become me. The wrath that was released upon me from the moment his piercing eyes turned into a rolling storm. I should have been prepared. I knew he was going out. I knew he wanted his good luck shirt cleaned and ironed. He had a big bet on the game, and he was about to go watch it with a few of his buddies from work. I knew I needed to have it done by the time he stepped out of the shower. I failed. The mistake was mine.

      I prattle as soundless as I can over to the mirror that is now resting on our dresser, supported by the wall in which it once hung on. I haven't replaced it yet from when I collided with it last week. I make a mental note to replace it as soon as possible. He would much rather appreciate his face in one whole mirror as opposed to one that has been shattered into about twenty or more pieces with my back. I’ll have to dip into my allowance, but it’ll be worth it. That will undoubtedly make him happy. Without even comprehending it, I start to pick out his clothing from the drawer for when he is ready to start his day. My head still hangs in shame for my incompetence of last night.

      Jeans, boxers, socks. Jeans, boxers, socks. Jeans, boxers, socks. In that god damn order, woman. Is that so fucking hard to remember? You stupid bitch! Jeans, boxers, socks, put them on the chair. His words replayed over and over in my mind.

      I turn from the dresser not quite ready to confront a face I will not recognize as my own, but one who has made frequent appearances over the years. Strutting to the closet, I pull out an undershirt and a green-blue flannel button-down since the weather has become chillier these past few days. The days have started to come earlier, and I can hear the crunch of the leaves as people pass by our bedroom window.

      Leave them on the hanger, drape them over the back of the chair, undershirt on top. Surely you can get that through your thick skull, a damn monkey could accomplish your job. His voice pierces my eardrums.

      That was the first time his hand swiftly struck my face. I can still feel his handprint ingrained in my skin from my ear down to my jaw. The blow caused me to topple backward on the chair with his clothes crumpled on top of me as I lay on the wooden floor under our bedroom window.

      Now get the hell up and do it! His stern voice shook me to my very core. The core that told me to flee. But my mind and body were left in two very separate states of shock over the events that had just occurred. I couldn't move. How? How could he have done that? How could he have behaved like that? How could he have hit me? The thoughts ran through my head as I gawked at him.

      NOW! His voice, I'd never heard it become so bitter towards me. So cold. So hard-hearted. It was that moment of compliance that changed my life forever. I jumped to my feet and did as I was told. I remember now. I'll never forget the order that his clothes should be laid out for him to start off each day.

      I glance around the room in search of his boots, crumpled in the corner as if

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1