What It Doesn't Have to Do With: Poems
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About this ebook
Lindsay Bernal
LINDSAY BERNAL holds an MFA in poetry from the University of Maryland, where she has coordinated the creative writing program and taught as a lecturer for over a decade. Her poems have appeared in Blackbird, Gulf Coast, OVERSOUND, Tikkun, and other journals.
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What It Doesn't Have to Do With - Lindsay Bernal
I.
Heartbroken in Your Memoir
Thank you for immortalizing me
in half a sentence while you, the protean
go-getter, feed me soup, jasmine-tip tea.
If I were to meet my 21-year-old self
now, I’d never befriend her, but you fell into my lap—
literally—the night Ryan drugged us & I begged you
to get me the hell out of Lowell.
Thank you for that & for your Lady-of-Shallot look,
for being the only girl I kissed at the lesbian party
we’d waited all fall for, somewhere
on the Lower East Side, almost too east
to count back then—when Queens was still cheap,
my life a milky white, opaque & vague.
Who among us hadn’t been compromised:
one morning waking up saying to nobody,
how did that happen? Then walking home
in the same clothes we’d laid out
the day before, in shoes not meant for distances
or daylight, past everyone with headsets
commuting to Wall. After six months
you left & I moved to the R’s last stop,
my apartment so close to the tracks it shook.
The Pre-Raphaelite Effect
1
Midafternoon, the hum of porn fills the room:
a redhead in a diaphanous catsuit
(love-bite on her breast-swell),
fearing no bondage,
no slap of the whip.
Foreplay and more foreplay and a song sung on the soundtrack.
"Amber Lemons is from Jersey, not Malibu,
went to Catholic School."
How do you know that?
Then she comes twice
nose-down like a small animal
in faux grass by the kidney-shaped pool.
Is she faking? Is she faking?
2
Paramour—that’s what I’d like to be called.
If we hadn’t skipped so many steps at the start
you’d know my mom is part