Stop Saying Yes - Negotiate!
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About this ebook
Stop Saying Yes - Negotiate! is the perfect "on the go" guide for all negotiations. This easy-to-read, practical guide will enable you to quickly identify the other side's tactics and strategies allowing you to defend yourself ensuring a better negotiation for your side and theirs.
Discover:
Reasonable and Ridiculous
Free Costs Too Much
Don't Turn a Buyer into a Shopper
Ask and Ask Again
Say No
Being Greedy, Stingy and Selfish to Win
. . . and so much more.
It makes absolutely no difference if you negotiate for a major corporation or at garage sales - you will become a better negotiator.
Richard Devin
Praise for books by Richard Devin: [A] beguiling combination of romance and murder. Is the Crown Prince of England really Jack the Ripper? His wife would certainly like to know....and so will you." - Diana Gabaldon, New York Times Bestselling Author "Skillful blend of romance and terror. Don't miss this." F. Paul Wilson, New York Times Bestselling Author and creator of Repairman Jack. "A plot with all kinds of twists and turns. A keeper!" Heather Graham, New York Times Bestselling Author USA Best Book award winning author of The Third Hour. His stories are included in the Never Fear anthology series and the Romantic Times: Vegas and Hunted West anthologies. Works include: Ripper - A Love Story, Uncharted Worlds, Tales from the Casting Couch and Glory - A Nation Morns. Non-Fiction titles: Actors' Resumes: The Definitive Guidebook, Do You Want To Be An Actor? and Stop Saying Yes - Negotiate! the current "go to" guide for major companies and their negotiating teams. A contributing writer to Southern Nevada Equestrian Magazine and Envy Man magazine. Devin received the Foundation for the Vital Arts Award for his plays: Deceptive Peace and My Mother's Coming. His thriller The Third Hour is currently in development for a feature film. A Champion Equestrian, he competes in Dressage and Show Jumping with his Oldenburg partner Immerjoy (Emmy). Find more at www.richarddevin.com
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Stop Saying Yes - Negotiate! - Richard Devin
Introduction
You can become a better negotiator. It makes no difference if you negotiate only at garage sales or are the family negotiator at home or a professional negotiator for a major company. You can become a better negotiator.
The first step in becoming a better negotiator is to understand why we, especially in the United States and other Western countries, don’t like to negotiate. If I were to ask any group of people why we don’t negotiate, we would all devise a list of reasons we have for not negotiating. Here are a few examples:
It’s not done that way in the United States.
It’s embarrassing.
It’s not worth it.
It’s cheap.
You can’t do that!
That’s like stealing.
I didn’t know I could.
We negotiate only for automobiles and houses.
I have the money, so why bother?
One could argue that at least some of these statements on why we do not negotiate are partly true. That does not mean, however, that some negotiation cannot take place, or at least, be attempted. Our self-doubts—our self-negotiations, more than those with whom we want to negotiate, hold us back far too often from negotiating.
Now, lest you think that we only devise these and many other excuses not to negotiate on the personal side of negotiating, let me share this with you. In the last several years, I have conducted workshops and seminars on The Art of Negotiations for countless Fortune 500 Company executives, sales departments, purchasing departments, marketing departments, Internet technology, information technology, and human resources departments. Some of these people are the presidents or vice presidents of divisions, and there have been many CEOs, CFOs, and owners of major sales organizations. One would think that these professional negotiators—many at the top of their game—would not have a single excuse why you should not or could not negotiate. Then, you would be wrong. If you’re reading this book because you want to become a better negotiator in your life, it might be heartening for you to read on. Not only negotiators dealing with the personal side of negotiating, that is, buying a house or an automobile, have an excuse why they should not or cannot negotiate. Those who negotiate for a living—professional negotiators—also devise a list of excuses. The following are just a few reasons—excuses—professional negotiators say they should not, would not, or could not negotiate:
It’s too small a deal.
I would rather build a relationship.
Why risk it?
The other side said, Yes.
So let’s just close the deal.
What more can I get?
I don’t want the other side to think I’m greedy.
I want the other side to be satisfied.
We are aiming for a win-win situation.
My management said they wanted me to work with this organization.
It was a quick and easy negotiation. Why push it?
They’re much too good a customer to ruin with a negotiation.
The last time we attempted to negotiate with them, they took us to the cleaners.
Oh, we would, but they don’t negotiate.
We asked them and they said no.
Negotiate? We just don’t do that.
And it goes on.
I hear, at least, one new one
at every workshop I present. After every workshop, I’ve heard the last excuse,
then, next session, there’s a new one. If I told you that negotiating is easy, how would you respond? If I asked what prevents you from negotiating, or what prevents us all from negotiating, how would you answer?
You might think that you know why we don’t negotiate, but I will tell you the real reason. It’s one word, one small word—no! That’s it. A small word, certainly, but if you believe it, a powerful small word. None of us wants to hear that word.
The biggest obstacle to your ability to negotiate is your fear of no. It affects all negotiators, from those who negotiate for a baker’s dozen to those who negotiate a multimillion-dollar deal. No is so powerful that it not only affects your ability to ask for something, it can also take away your ability to use your power. No not only prevents you from using your power, but it also takes power away from you and gives it to the other side. Each time you do not ask because the answer might be no, you give the other side power.
Understanding no is the key to your understanding your ability to negotiate. No is not an end to a request. No does not mean that I won’t do what you ask of me. Now, this might be politically incorrect, but No does not always mean no, at least about negotiations. No means you need to ask me differently.
Before you can ask me for something, however, you need to know what my strategy is. Who am I? What do I want from you? What pressures are there on me? You need to know from where I’m coming.
Answering these questions and understanding no are the keys that unlock a successful negotiation. If you know from where I come, you will greatly improve your negotiation. And if you know a bit more about me, that is, my negotiating strategy, you will greatly improve our negotiation.
Notice, in the last sentence, that I said our negotiation. That’s right. Your power lies in the knowledge you have or the knowledge you can get. The more you know about the other side, the better our negotiations will be. Your chances of walking away with your targets met and the other side walking away more satisfied with the negotiation greatly improve by knowing from where the other side is coming.
I’m asked at every workshop, seminar, book signing, and dinner party I’ve ever attended, How can making one side a better negotiator enhance the negotiation for both sides?
The answer lies in the satisfaction level you, the educated negotiator, and the other side feel after the negotiations have been completed. If you make the other side work harder, they might feel better about what they received from the negotiation. And that holds, even if what the other side receives is far less than their original targets and aspiration levels. Make them work harder, make them negotiate more, and they will feel much more satisfied about what they gave up during the negotiation.
In the following pages, I have broken down the strategies of many types of negotiators and negotiating tactics. You will instantly recognize some, and I’m sure one is you. I’ve given these strategies names. Names that will make it easier for you to recognize a particular negotiating style. Names, too, serve another purpose. Names not only make it easier for you to remember a strategy, one that you might wish to use in your next negotiation, but perhaps, more important, names also allow you to recognize and defend yourself from a negotiating strategy the other side attempts to use on you. As the great battles of war, if you don’t know what you’re up against, you cannot defend yourself.
Think Before You Speak
There’s a significant problem with all negotiations—you have to say something! The simple act of speaking, of conveying an idea, is a major power transfer in any negotiation. Whenever you open your mouth and speak, you give power away. The power transfer is not in what you intended to say, but rather in what you did not mean to say. And you, the negotiator, are not the only one