The Shutdown Fullcast this week boldly attempts to go where Shutdown Fullcasts so rarely go: INTO ACTUAL FOOTBALL.
Ryan assigned random numbers to every college football team, and then asked readers to send him numbers. The five teams selected were Arizona State, Georgia Tech, North Carolina, and Colorado. We did no research, and attempted to discuss them!
Topics of actual football content covered include:
--Why Georgia Tech is the "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" of college football teams (the points don't matter!)
--a lawnmower goes off in the background while we're discussing Georgia Tech, which is the most DGAF Paul Johnson country shit ever besides finding the upside to missing a bowl game in 2015
--Why Arizona State will bounce back form a 6-7 season to have a spellbinding 7-6 season. (Also: yet another explanation of the important concept of boat muscles.)
--We spend most of the time on our UNC preview talking about how gutted their defense was by Baylor in the Russell Athletic Bowl, when Baylor ran EIGHTY-FOUR TIMES FOR 645 YARDS IN A SINGLE GAME. They passed 18 times, too, which is real funny. You know what UNC loses from that defense? Linebackers! THE POINTS DON'T MATTER.
--How Colorado will have the most brutal 5-7 season of 2016! You have no luck in anything, Colorado.
--A mean turn through the Florida Gators football schedule, which is the standard Jeremy Foley-endorsed trash. It is trash, Jeremy Foley. Straight fuckin' trash.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices