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    Johnny Came To Town: The Greatest Story Retold?
    Johnny Came To Town: The Greatest Story Retold?
    Johnny Came To Town: The Greatest Story Retold?
    Ebook168 pages1 hour

    Johnny Came To Town: The Greatest Story Retold?

    By Anthony North

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    About this ebook

    Johnny Clarke wrote stories. But when his inner muse came out of his mind to interact with the real world he knew there'd be trouble. And when he wrote a story about the God Botherer's Society that came true, the adventure began.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAnthony North
    Release dateJul 9, 2019
    ISBN9780463380529
    Johnny Came To Town: The Greatest Story Retold?
    Author

    Anthony North

    Thinker & Storyteller****7,453 Words to Save the UK and I,Writer are now FREE. Scroll down to find them.*****1955 (Yorkshire, England) – I am born (Damn! Already been done). ‘Twas the best of times ... (Oh well).I was actually born in the year of Einstein's death, close to Scrooge's Counting House. It doesn't mean anything but it sounds good. As for my education, I left school at 15 and have had no formal education since. Hence, I'm self-taught.****From a family of newsagents, at 18 I did a Dick Whittington and went off to London, only to return to pretend to be Charlie and work in a chocolate factory.When I was ten I was asked what I wanted to be. I said soldier, writer and Dad. I never thought of it for years – having too much fun, such as a time as lead guitarist in a local rock band – but I served nine years in the RAF, got married and had seven kids. I realized my words had been precognitive when, at age 27, I came down with M.E. – a condition I’ve suffered ever since – and turned my attention to writing.Indeed, as I realized that no expert could tell me what was wrong with me, I began my quest to find out why. Little did I realize it would last decades and take me through the entire history of knowledge, leaving me with the certainty that our knowledge systems are inadequate.****My non-fiction is based on P-ology, a thought process I devised to work with patterns of knowledge, and designed to be a bedfellow to specialization. A form of Rational Holism, it seeks out areas the specialist may have missed. I work from encyclopaedias and introductory volumes in order to gain a grasp of many subjects and am not an expert in anything, but those patterns keep forming. Hence, I do not deal in truth, but ideas, and cover everything from politics to the paranormal.When reading my work I ask only: do I make sense? Of course, an expert would say: a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. I agree. And an expert has so little knowledge of everything.I also write novels and Flash Fiction in all genres.

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      Book preview

      Johnny Came To Town - Anthony North

      Johnny Came To Town

      By Anthony North

      Copyright: © Anthony North 2019

      Cover image copyright: © Yvonne North, Richard North, 2019

      Smashwords Edition

      No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission

      Other books by Anthony North

      Beginning in 2019 I’m publishing 14 volumes of my fiction, inc 7 novels in most genres, & 21 works of non-fiction covering cults, politics, conspiracies, religion, disasters, science, philosophy, warfare, crime, psychology, new age, green issues & all areas of the unexplained, inc ufology, lost worlds and the paranormal. Hopefully appearing at the rate of one a month, check out the latest launch at my bookstore at http://anthonynorth.com or buy direct from Smashwords for all devices at: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/anthonynorth

      In addition to the above, you may like my ‘I’ Series – 8 volumes of flash fiction (horror, sci fi, romance, adventure, crime), 4 volumes of poetry & 5 volumes of short essays from politics to the unexplained. Available from same links as above. Also check out my bookstore for news of my books out in paperback.

      CONTENTS

      Chapter One

      Chapter Two

      Chapter Three

      Chapter Four

      Chapter Five

      Chapter Six

      Chapter Seven

      Chapter Eight

      Chapter Nine

      Chapter Ten

      Chapter Eleven

      Chapter Twelve

      Chapter Thirteen

      Chapter Fourteen

      Chapter Fifteen

      Chapter Sixteen

      Chapter Seventeen

      Chapter Eighteen

      Chapter Nineteen

      Chapter Twenty

      Chapter Twenty One

      Chapter Twenty Two

      Chapter Twenty Three

      Chapter Twenty Four

      Chapter Twenty Five

      Chapter Twenty Six

      Chapter Twenty Seven

      Chapter Twenty Eight

      Chapter Twenty Nine

      Chapter Thirty

      Chapter Thirty One

      About the Author

      Connect With Anthony

      Chapter One

      Johnny Clarke. Cheerful soul …

      Well …

      … once upon a time …

      But not now … because …

      No, better not say. You’ll have to take the knocks with him. After all, this is no fairy tale.

      He was an average man. Thirtyish – brown haired, brown eyed.

      Tough?

      Nah.

      Bright?

      Well …

      But he did have a vivid imagination.

      He’d disagree. Johnny Clarke was like that. He’d tell you this:

      ‘It's my friend Peter who gives me all the ideas. He comes to me at night when I'm asleep. At first, he turns my life upside down, then he shows me how I could have lived the previous day, how funny things could have happened, how fantasies could be created. He builds a whole world inside my head, like one of those alternative universes, where you can enter a different world with the possible outcome of every decision you make.’

      Sometimes Peter would come out of Johnny's head during the day, walking along the road with him or sitting in some cafe. Then the two of them would have a conversation which Johnny would find very interesting - though it was rare for him to have interesting conversations with anyone else, as I'm sure you can appreciate.

      So what did Johnny Clarke do with the help of his friend, Peter?

      He became a writer of short stories. You know, those funny ones with a twist. And he eventually began to have them published - although it was a long road to becoming a published writer.

      Writing, you see, is a funny profession. In fact, in a way, it isn't writing at all. Anyone with a modicum of common sense can become a writer. But that doesn't mean you can write stories. And after all, it's the story that counts. But in Johnny Clarke's case - as with most aspiring writers - at first there's the idea. And then you have to learn to write.

      I know in the scheme of things this seems an upside-down kind of thing after saying that anyone with a modicum of common sense can write. In fact, it's rather like having an end before the beginning.

      So Johnny Clarke took some paper, extracted the idea from his head and sent it off to the first publisher he thought of, in the sure knowledge that it would be the greatest story ever written. But it wasn't.

      He cried the first time it came back, and he cried the second time it came back and he cried the third time it came back. But by the fourth time (it came back), he got the message.

      He screwed it up and tried again.

      And so it went on for a year and more, his pile of rejection slips building up daily.

      He would get up first thing in the morning, nose pressed against the bedroom window waiting for Postie to come. Then, when Postie appeared, he would scuttle downstairs and snatch the letter before it had fornicated with the letterbox, leaving the postman in no doubt that Johnny had an imaginary dog as well as Peter.

      Then … one day ...

      (the sun was shining, the birds were singing and all that crap)

      … acceptance.

      Johnny couldn't believe it. He ripped open the envelope and a cheque floated down to kiss the floor.

      He stood erect, fascinated, momentarily transfixed. He looked at it this way and that. He blinked once, looked at it again and blinked another time. He bent down on his haunches and sniffed. He banged his head on the wall, went 'ouch', staggered back and sat. Then, an inch at a time, his arm outstretched he touched it, picked it up, held it up to the light, rubbed it and, finally, he kissed it.

      Johnny Clarke's career had taken off. Suddenly all the magazines wanted a taste of Johnny's mind. And he twisted and weaved. His pen swished and swashed through adventure after adventure with manic regularity. He would sit at his desk night after night, day after day and night after night again. Peter would visit him with increasing regularity, making a pot of tea when the time was right. And everything was going fine.

      Until ...

      one day ...

      (the sun was …)

      Well. This is what the story is all about. Call it coincidence if sceptic you be. But some of us know different.

      Maybe it was Peter working overtime. Or maybe his increasing impact with the real world was leading to things beyond human imaginings. But suddenly Johnny Clarke found himself writing a story that didn't concern the changing options of an alternative universe. For in this story the twist of fate was not to be confined to the realms of fiction. As Johnny Clarke soon found out, it was about to come true.

      Chapter Two

      It was all about the God Botherers.

      The God Botherers’ Society had been set up over a hundred years ago by a group of religious fundamentalists who had decided the world had turned wicked. The fact that it had taken them so long to realise this gives an indication of the insight displayed by these early do-gooders.

      To the God Botherers, it was about this time that man realised the ability to blow himself up. It was the time when man's wickedness had become such that he could threaten the very planet. Wars were raging incessantly and the world was soon to descend into World War One, when 'nation would fight nation' like never before. Allying this to Earthly bowel movements (earthquakes), the odd famine and incessant outbreaks of pox, the founders of the God Botherers decided Armageddon was on the horizon, and it was time to prepare for Jesus II.

      But as any fundamentalist would tell you, fundamentals had first to be worked out. And there were discrepancies; especially in the Bible.

      Ever since Moses had come down from the mountain with his pack of ten aspirins to cure the headache of mankind, man had believed that when you die you go to heaven. However, if this is the case, thought the founders, why bother fighting the battle of Armageddon in order to bring back Paradise on Earth? It was rather like Scriptural overkill. If heaven was heaven, and heaven was the ultimate home of the spirit, why do we need another on Earth? We could all simply pop the pills and flit any time we wanted.

      The founders scratched heads night after night - and day after day - as they attempted to fathom this Biblical conundrum, eventually deciding that the answer must be there was no heaven until it was brought down to Earth. Heaven WAS Paradise on Earth, and would only be achieved after Jesus’ return, ploughing through the marshes, over the mountains, across the plains in his celestial Challenger battle tank, popping off the bad with a regulation splattering of red hot cherubim and seraphim. But how, therefore, was heaven to be cancelled out of the Bible?

      The founders scratched their heads day after day as they attempted to fathom this Biblical blunder. Then ... one day …

      (the stars were twinkling ...)

      Bingo!

      The greatest proof of heaven concerns Jesus on the Cross, telling one of the criminals that today they would be with Him in Paradise. But, decided the founders, after removing cranial splinters from jagged finger nails, Jesus was NOT talking to normal, good and Godly folk, but villains.

      And thus was born the God Botherer theory that only the villains go to heaven, which is really hell, where they play their harps for eternity, missing out on the eventual Paradise on Earth, getting bored. Heaven was hell, and hell was the celestial penal colony. As such, the good went into limbo upon death and joined the queue, waiting until Jesus parachuted in and blasted the bad.

      With this earth-shattering theological insight the founders began converting the people. But there were problems …

      'If heaven is the celestial penal colony,' asked one purple pelted bishop one day as the God Botherers banged on the door, 'why is Jesus up there with them?'

      The founders scratched their heads night after night and day after day as they attempted to fathom this Biblical brain blower. Then …

      <11 /@£@&'£@?£@

      ‘Because,’ said the founding fathers, ‘he’s the jailer. As we all

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