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    I see You as I am: 1, #2
    I see You as I am: 1, #2
    I see You as I am: 1, #2
    Ebook308 pages4 hours

    I see You as I am: 1, #2

    By Bryan Wagner

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    About this ebook

    We are not seeking stable ground in which to meditate we are meditating to allow us to dwell evenly on unstable ground."

    - Bryan Wagner

    "Seeing You as I Am" is the second book in a series of Dharma sharing's by Bryan Wagner. The focus is on seeing our Conditioned personality and how it effects the quality of our lives. Examining conditioning, projection, and aspects of the self applied to wisdom, it draws on many of the wisdom paths from the entire world. We need to examine and let go of all the things we think we are in order to embrace the agency that lives in transience but is not affected by transience. The book also embraces principles from Sufi, Non-dual perspective, American Indian, Hindu, Western, and Eastern spiritual beliefs. It serves to tie the components of beliefs and philosophies to a useful people's path and direction." This book embraces the message that there is a need to start listening to the basic wisdom that has always been with us, regardless of belief or faiths. "Do unto others as you would have done unto you and expect nothing in return" has been the cornerstone for all paths.  

    Life is a journey to be embraced and this book will bring us closer to our own life and journey.

    Bryan Wagner is a writer, speaker, musician, artist, and poet. Loves sharing from the Dharma wisdom path. He is currently growing "A People's Dharma" network and writing the next book in the series.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBryan Wagner
    Release dateApr 10, 2019
    ISBN9781386059264
    I see You as I am: 1, #2
    Author

    Bryan Wagner

    Bryan S. Wagner has been studying Buddhism, Zen, and the Tao for several decades. He is committed to exploring the "Wisdom Teachings" of all cultures and uncovering the key elements that can be applied to everyday living. He currently gives workshops, talks, and loves sharing his explorations. 

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      Book preview

      I see You as I am - Bryan Wagner

      Chapter 1

      SEEING YOU AS I AM  

      Mirrors are everywhere and everywhere, a mirror. To see the actual is to let the mirrors dissolve. What’s left when the mirror fades or shatters? - People’s Dharma Circle

      In the last book I discussed, at least briefly, the Having and Being states. I would like to pursue that a little further in this book and go deeper into how the Being state requires nothing outside of awareness of the actual. I will examine how practicing awareness is helpful in bringing us back to the actual, again and yet again. There are no permanent states of being, there is only a constant practice of returning to that middle place of calm and ease. Living Nirvana and Mediation are the art of practicing application in life.

      We are not practicing living, Life is the movement of practicing.

      The natural ability of the Genuine Self to reduce needless suffering was one of those things that my Conditioned personality didn’t want the core Genuine self to recognize. I use the term Genuine self as a pointer to a state of Being that is aware and clearer of concepts, opinion, extracts, and thinking based on past information and future imaginations.

      It’s a mind-skill that is based on Being in the proximity of here and now, in awareness, that is ready for an Apposite Action response. Apposite action is direct action that is relevant to the circumstance, it doesn’t come under the headings of right and wrong. Once we engage in the right and wrong perspective, we lose the ability to experience. We are then thinking about what we are experiencing and the way we are experiencing.

      A Conditioned personality is one that has been constructed by society and culture. It’s the part of us that has taken center stage in human development. It’s in constant struggle with what is actual, and constantly at war with anything that will take its fabricated position as the center of everything. Including another humans Conditioned personality. It’s that thing that drives the alternative world we live in and operate from. It’s never the actual, but always thinking about the way or what the actual should be. It lives and survives in what might be or was.  

      This is different than the reference frame that supports our independent self of the moment. There will be more on that later when we discuss Reference framing.

      Many people discover and uncover the Genuine self during meditation. Others experience it as being In the zone or being in the flow of life. There are many ways in many cultures to explain the state of being in intentional, attentive, and conscious awareness. It is an experience of being intentionally moored to the general space that our bodies are in (Proximity), precisely aware of environment, and thinking in awareness, but not chasing thoughts.

      It’s an awareness of (stuff), not the awareness about (stuff). Big difference! One is sensory input the other is thinking about sensory input. We can experience sense, or we can label sense experience. It’s not good or bad, it’s the clarity of the experience that matters.

      A totally Genuine self is NOT a permanent place, it’s a process we can practice by engaging. It is not a steady state or permanent degree of position. Despite some of the stories about special human beings who are totally genuine, my experience of this state is that it is always present but pulses in the sense of degrees of presence. At times it’s hard to discern and in others it’s a very dynamic presence. It’s subject to human biology, emotions, environmental impacts and it dwells in transience as much as anything in this universe. As we engage our attention, we can generate more awareness of the process and action of the Genuine self.

      As far I as can tell from the examinations I have done, Transience and Permanence do not co-exist. (There may be permanently genuine people in the world, but I haven’t met any yet!) Everything lives in transience.

      So, if we are going to cultivate the Genuine self the question would be How are we going to know who that is? and How are we going to cultivate being Genuine? Part of that will include the knowing of what we are not. My belief is we are not that thing called Conditioned personality.

      Conditioned Personality: resists doing anything about diminishing suffering in our everyday relationship with life unless by doing so would reinforce its position. It survives by creating the illusion and delusion of ongoing suffering that supplies a sense of a separate and permanent existence through resisting the experience of reality. It has an upper hand because it focuses on content and not the process, the what we are doing, not how we do it. Conditioned personality chases a lot of words, stories, and emotions. It projects possible futures and reflects on inaccurately remembered pasts as its content. It always has a lot to say about you and others, most of it critical and opinionated. It grounded in illusion and delusion.

      There are things that a separated Conditioned personality will prevent us from seeing in a clearer way. When reading through these be aware of thoughts that will attempt to defend the use of these dynamics by taking the point that I am labeling these dynamics as negative, and that needs to be argued.  I’m not saying they exist as negatives, they are simply dynamics to be aware of as part of a process. Any defense and resistance are Conditioned personality speaking from a conclusion that we must make a choice between right and wrong.  Nothing is right or wrong.  We perceive the experience and gain awareness. We don’t have to label anything. Some of the Conditioned personality dynamics are the following.  

      Conditioned Personality:

      Processes continuous narratives and stories: It lives by telling stories about now, the past, and the future. It simply needs to keep telling stories and keeps a running narrative to remain at center stage. All stories are about somewhere else other than present experience. We cannot be present and be in story at the same time. Conditioned personality is the one creating and telling the narratives and stories to keep attention focused on itself. Everything revolves around the conditioning, not the organic genuine self.

      Lives in Projection: It interprets everyone and everything as it thinks those things are according to its own self reference, not as those things are. This is an essential point to understand. To do this it uses language that’s learned and conditioned from others, along with all the emotional and ideational structure that goes with it. We are trapped via language in using the past to describe and explain now. This is not good or bad or right or wrong, it just is. Language is a fantastic tool. It opens possibility! It’s how we decide to use language and not be used by language that will help reduce suffering.

      Lives in the future and past: Its operating base is from the past, although it makes up the future and applies what it thinks it remembers in the present. All information about the future and past is subject to transience, inaccurate, and therefore needs to be processed that way. Living in the proximity of the body limits the control and impact of stories and dialogue. There is no time to start up a dialogue or interact with conditioning when we are aware and present in our own bodies. In proximity we can only process that thing that is right in front of us.

      No, I don’t want to be Here right now all the time. Humans are not evolved to be here right now permanently. But being in proximity is a perspective that diminishes suffering so it worth studying and evolving.

      Makes predictions about the future: Upon self-examination it becomes clear that we continuously buy into believing that the predictions are true. We might say things like, It will happen, Well, that could happen, or It might happen. But we can tell by our reaction when things don’t unfold as expected how invested we are in a fantasy outcome. So, my reactions to my careful plans that did not go like I wanted them to go, is an indicator of how much I believed and desired they would unfold precisely as planned.  

      Lives in fantasy and delusion: Because it’s so busy being elsewhere it operates on delusion (fixed belief), illusion (distorted perception), and fantasy. All the conditioned expectations, judgments, beliefs, presumptions, privileges, attitudes, fears, and concepts are being used to create a world of delusion and illusion. We don’t live in the world, we live in our thoughts about the world.

      Is critical of us: It is the voice of criticism. Criticism is not helpful, we are conditioned to believe that criticism is useful, we even code it Constructive to show how helpful it is when we receive or transmit it. Information that helps us be more skilled is always appreciated and when delivered as information it gives us the chance to examine it for validity. Constructive or not, criticism hurts and sends us back to the right or wrong model of thinking. You may not agree, but that is my experience. Self-criticism often runs a narrative that is suspiciously like an adult talking to a young child. It always runs a narrative at us not with or for us. It can sound helpful but it’s not.

      Is Exclusive thinking centered: Conditioned personality can only see fragments. It lives and breathes on fragments and incomplete images and thoughts. It moves from fragment to fragment because each fragment identifies itself as the center. (Inclusive thinking increases the ability to accept that everything is center of the universe.) Conditioned personality processes by using language because language can only label fragments and never the whole.

      Centered in and from the mind: It is always based in thinking about perception and not being the experienced perception. Its expertise is in thinking about reality, its world exists in the world of thought, it exists because we think not thoughts, but about thoughts. We are rarely Being in the body, we are almost always thinking about being in the body. The one sure way we have found to be in the body is to focus on the bodies breathing cycle. Aware breathing brings us back to the proximity of body and the function of attentional awareness.

      Those are the processes that keep Conditioned mind alive and the center of focus.

      The Conditioned mind building memory using repetition and sequencing has a lot going for it. This process helps us with tasks like memorization, linear thinking, or anything that we build and sustain by adding on and acquiring. The challenge is that we live almost exclusively in the Conditioned personality state which deals with feelings, criticism, labels, status, greed, acquisition, and blame. Acquisition, sequencing, and repetition have little impact on cognitive and emotional suffering. Conditioned mind is the eternal child. It’s the self-centered, and separate, separated, ego state.

      The Genuine self:

      Is focused on being and living as a connected self. It is non-verbal and is focused from awareness and presence of sense input. The awareness lets us know that we are not an isolated separate entity. We are enmeshed in the fabric of life. If we have this perspective, we see each other the same way, connected.  We, and everything around us, exists as the weaving material of the fabric of life. We are not stand-alone entities but are connected to produce the entire fabric. We are the threads, the weave and the carpet.

      This is Inclusive mind. It contains exclusive mind and it accepts everything.  It understands and accepts there is not a separate self, it also understands that every single thing is also the center of the universe. There are no separate centers. Everything is the center. Many into one, one into many. In the eternal four-dimension universe there is nothing that is not center. The problem comes when the fantasy arises that there is one center and everything else flows around it.

      Genuine self Is focused on living and being from the Present: It operates in present time and environment. It is inclusive and only appears to be selective because we focus the attention on specifics. Genuine self is taking in everything, remembering everything. The brains capacity for storage is immense. Far beyond anything that we can currently measure with the tools we possess. Being aware of everything doesn’t mean Registering as known all experience. We are selective with purpose, the mind scans with attentional awareness, we are not always attending to the same thing. But awareness is there all the time.

      Genuine self continuously processes awareness of self by perceptions: Using touch, taste, smell, sound, sights, spatial awareness, and the mind as a mixer/processor. The mind as a processing unit acts immediately on input and can be aware of the processing. Being aware that we are processing and how we are processing is a practice of meditation and contemplation.

      Genuine self is aware of the process of projection and its own projections: It is not concerned about eliminating projection, it’s focus is to be aware of the act of projection, not attempt to stop projecting. It then has perspective of the projection in its appropriate position. Genuine self then moves from not knowing projection exists to experiencing it as awareness to project. We say, I am projecting. Genuine self doesn’t confuse projection with reality.

      Genuine self is aware of the tendency to extrapolate into the future and examine the past. It remains aware that this extrapolation shows not an actual event, but an idea of what was or may be, valuable only as the idea not the concrete. Genuine self knows when there is future and past thinking and is aware that this modality does not reflect Reality. We use past and future as keys to open more possibilities and probabilities of the next proximity of now. Not as some sort of map we need to follow and obey. Imagination is an adjunct to reality and in its Apposite position the greatest thing ever! If it becomes the primary process, we find ourselves disconnected and suffering.

      Lives in acceptance: This refers to accepting everything. Accepting means that life as reality doesn’t produce false images or events. Conditioned personality produces those, and we suffer when we travel with them on parallel lines always distanced from what is actual. We experience suffering when we believe and accept fantasy as reality. We don’t have to approve, support, or engage in delusion and fantasy. We do need to acknowledge the existence of all things in transience around us. Acceptance means to create a space of response between us and what is actual with no evaluation or judgement. No fantasy or imagination, just us and the things that are.

      There is no secret about accepting and being with reality. You will always know when you are in fantasy and delusion if you remain aware of the amount of resistance you feel. Awareness of resistance is the doorway to total acceptance. In awareness there is nothing to waste energy on by resisting. We can use that energy to help produce and direct ourselves where the body exists.

      Genuine self holds an inclusive view, that uses the ability to view things as exclusive and fragments of the whole as a process. It avoids viewing the fragment as complete and carries the awareness that exclusive view is a tool and an aid to processing. Genuine self maintains an open awareness of inclusive/exclusive view.

      Genuine self is centered around the body and mind. The body awareness acts as a grounding to right now. It is difficult to be body aware and live in the future or past. This is why we return to the breath and body, to stay in proximity and presence.

      Most of a spiritual search or what I have been calling an expansion process is centered on awareness of Genuine self and acting out of the position of genuine self. Yet, the difficulty lies in the fact that parts of Conditioned thinking, as opposed to Conditioned personality, can be a useful tool. We use a process of Conditioned thinking in order to accumulate information and store it. We use it to reinforce body memory.  

      Problematic to our current condition as humans is that Conditioned personality has run away with the show. It’s time that we start to look at this and develop an awareness that there is another process that allows us to see and use the inclusive mind and is grounded in Being.

      Chapter 2

      REFERENCE FRAMES

      There are so many variables from my place of reference that it feels impossible to not think I am as a center for interactions. 

      - People’s Dharma Circle

      It is helpful to examine the different reference points that exist within each human. Reference points start with the one we initially arise with and that’s the I sensing of all that exists. I experience the universe from where I am and no other place. It’s the I exist, and I experience mode without the language-based thought structure to explain the position. It’s the I am stance that some expansion paths point to as the entry way to enlightenment.

      It’s the experience being aware of having the experience. Leading to the question, WTF is having the experience? No one knows, lots of theories, one being nothing is having experience, another being that an eternal ongoing something is experiencing. Both questions have created religions, beliefs, and lots of emotional reactions. Gautama the Buddha said why bother or worry about it? Lots to do right now. I love that! If we are busy being kind to ourselves and others who cares who’s being kind?

      We need framing to operate in the world. There are simply too many variables and multiple interactions to not have that initial reference come into existence. Being aware of existing isn’t the same as being a Conditioned personality that supports itself as ego.

      Awareness of Existence is connected to the Value of Existence and Remaining in Existence. It is an automatic reference that sustains and encourages life.

      However, there is a big difference between the actuality of BEING CENTER, as everything in the universe is, and seeing oneself AS THE CENTER. It’s that same tricky Buddhist dialogue about there being NO SELF or NOT A SELF. Big difference depending on your reference.

      BEING CENTER means we are open to the fact that we all are alike, in the sense that all humans reference frame is center. This opens the opportunity for inclusion, compassion and understanding other beings. (I extend that and believe that everything has center as a reference.) It is a place of compassion, communication, and understanding from the alike places. I am center, my cat is center, my friend Lea in Australia is center, and her lizards are each center and her Sphinx cats Rosie and Lily. It’s all center.

      The other perspective AS THE CENTER is fragmented and looped into the Conditioned personality. It sees itself as fragmented, apart, and alone in the universe. Because, it sees itself as the only center. And, there is a resistance that comes up because the Conditioned reference suggests there can only be one center. Conditioned personality is not a part of the weave of the universe, it is sitting detached from the weave. It believes it is a silk thread suspended in a wool cloth and touches nothing.

      Why is the frame we occupy from these views important? If not seen clearly with awareness, the reference points dictate our current reactive behaviors and we tend to develop reactions based on past information and information extrapolated from around us. It’s the awareness of what framing we occupy that opens the door to total acceptance, compassion, patience, and peace.

      As children we are quickly molded into the Conditioned reference frame that becomes solid and real to us. It means we are the absolute center of the universe. Of course, we may give others authority but even then, we remain in a Conditioned frame of reference. Social/Cultural Position is based on all the rules, the You or I should, do’s and don’ts, the good, bad, and it’s the fear of the threat of cultural and socially based punishment. The fear of being ostracized from others due to being different.  

      Awareness of what frame has presence at any point gives us an automatic and substantial optional reference if we choose to use it. Or, we can return to the Inclusive Genuine Frame perspective as a balance point over and over.  That would be the place we access by breathing and being in proximity to the body. It is a place of minimal verbalization and minimal thinking about processes.

      The Conditioned Reference Frame is one that lives in resistance. It’s a static and frozen reference that believes the self is separate. It’s often based in belief of perfection, ideals, sovereignty, and somehow becoming something other than what we are while we can only be what we are in the moment of thinking. It accepts only what benefits its position.

      It’s ideals and beliefs that are built on extracts and concepts from past information. These are conditioned beliefs from concepts and extracts that mimic concrete existence. It exists in the mind only and is exclusive of body sense input. It reinterprets sense input into language-based thinking. It is fragmented. It is pure idea and belief about what exists.

      The Conditioned reference frame is the information that is being used to categorize, judge, blame, compare, and test everything in relationship. It is the basis for an instant judgement that says, Women don’t do that, Men don’t do that or That’s good or it’s bad. It’s automatic information that has enormous effect on our actions. It’s Conditioned personalities encyclopedia of duality it tries to live by minute by minute.  

      Bonded to and supporting Conditioned personality, the Conditioned Reference frame is the ideal of both good and bad processes and content; it’s related to how you perceive yourself inside the moment you acquire language labels. This Frame exists as the Standards by which Conditioned personality can judge you. Whenever we become aware of ourselves in relationship, we use this reference frame to judge ourselves and others using opinion, comparison, memory, judgements, testing, and imagination.

      Standards are implanted by the systems that conditioned us since before we are born. Conditioning layered on conditioning.  Family, culture, social set, friends, and moving into the present, technology, movies, television, smart phones, computers, and all forms of social media that not only condition but act as conditioners. (No, I don’t think there is anything wrong with phones or social media.)

      We tend towards believing implanted ideals and standards that can undermine the best intentions. We may study the precepts and take the vows with sincere intent, but soon start being driven by Conditioned personalities judgement, and start worrying about whether we kept a precept or broke the precept.

      The Conditioned reference frame uses duality as a primary tool because once the duality is constructed, we have much difficulty in getting a clearer perspective. We decide to practice Right Speech but only make it through until the first confrontation of the day. (We struggle because we can’t be good if there isn’t bad, and we struggle with the degree of good and bad in a social world dictated by social rules and regulations.)

      The Interactive Frame is one that you always carry and it’s the personal reference point that is initially developed from conditioning. Our Interactive Frame is the area of intelligence that aligns with input of senses, stored info (the past), and beliefs that we think are true from past experiences. It believes it can know the future from the past.

      The Interactive Frame is you in the world of relationship. The total bio/psycho/social/emotive, and spiritual you. It is also fragmented. It is represented by Conditioned personality as it moves through the world and engages in all relationship. It differs from the Reference Frame because it is active and interactive. It is rarely concerned with the here and now. It has an ability to add information and new ideals to the Conditioned Reference Frame.

      It continues to check with and use the Conditioned Reference Frame standards to keep Conditioned personality in the center of attention. Information is formatted by conclusion and rarely by seeking new information or that which is contrary. It seeks information and is skilled in matching the information with what it already believes. It is constantly trying to answer the question Am I OK? or Am I accepted? or Do I fit?  We have only a vague idea what others think so it attempts to answer these questions by constant checking with the Conditioned Reference Frame. Of course, we can never live up to the

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