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    Emotional Abuse: Recovering and Healing from Toxic Relationships, Parents or Coworkers while Avoiding the Victim Mentality
    Emotional Abuse: Recovering and Healing from Toxic Relationships, Parents or Coworkers while Avoiding the Victim Mentality
    Emotional Abuse: Recovering and Healing from Toxic Relationships, Parents or Coworkers while Avoiding the Victim Mentality
    Ebook118 pages1 hour

    Emotional Abuse: Recovering and Healing from Toxic Relationships, Parents or Coworkers while Avoiding the Victim Mentality

    By Jonathan S. Costas

    5/5

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    About this ebook

    Have you ever wondered if it's possible to break free from the vicious cycle of emotional abuse forever?


    Being involved with an abusive person can be a nightmarish journey. Going down that path will open your eyes to how people really are, how broken our society is and most of all you'll learn a lot about your force of will and spirit. 

    A lot of people that are currently suffering from abuse aren't even aware that they're being a victim. These sufferers have no idea that abuse is taking place right under their noses. Sometimes, the perpetrators are individuals that would never be suspected of being a toxic person. The concealed nature of abuse is what makes it cause so much damage over the long term if it is never put to a stop. 
     

    Here's some of what you can expect to learn inside the pages of this book:

    • How to identify the red flags of emotional abuse and how to completely break free of it.
    • Learn how to properly set boundaries with abusive people so that your rights and needs are respected.
    • A practical, step by step program designed to take you from abused to survivor while minimizing the damage.
    • How to stay away from the abusive individual over the long term and what to do in case of a relapse.
    • And much more!

    This book will educate you on the signs of emotional abuse. You will learn how to recognize the characteristics of potential abusers and where these people might be hiding in your life.


    You will know exactly which course of action to take in case you ever find yourself in a psychologically abusive relationship. 

    You will also learn all about the stages of recovery from psychological abuse and what course of action to take in case there is a relapse. 
     

    This guide will give you the necessary tools needed to escape the vicious cycle of abuse or at least helps you identify the warning signs of toxic people so that you never find yourself in this highly undesirable situation.. Start taking back control of your life today!

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherJonathan S. Costas
    Release dateApr 5, 2019
    ISBN9781386923138
    Emotional Abuse: Recovering and Healing from Toxic Relationships, Parents or Coworkers while Avoiding the Victim Mentality

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    Reviews for Emotional Abuse

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    • 5/5
      This book truly helped me to have a better understanding of the emotionally abusive relationship I have lived in for the past 8 years. Having an understanding of my husband's behaviors and my acceptance of them has truly given me hope for my future.
    • 5/5
      Definitely FIVE stars. It was unusual to see a book like this written from the abusers perspective, and it was a great read. I domt normally finish a book all in one sitting, but this one kept me reading; couldn't put it down. This is a great read not only for the abused, but for the abuser as well. Most certainly the BEST book I've read on this topic. A must read!
    • 5/5
      Excellent book...I learned so much about the abuse and the abuser. It was one of the better books I have read on the subject.
    • 5/5
      The author does an excellent job of laying it all out there. He makes no excuses for his behavior/ actions. He does, however, share his personal journey with all its ups & downs, successes & failures, with complete transparency, giving the reader a reason to believe in healing!
    • 5/5
      Any man who has been accused of being abusive needs to read this book, though it is slim to none chance that they will because of their ego and narcissism. Quite amazing that this man was humble enough to write the book. Thank you for being an encouragement to us women who have lived through abuse in realizing that a very rare small percentage may realize the great and immeasurable damage they have done to their wife and their children.
    • 5/5
      This book is very well written and to the point. Written so everyday people can understand and place themselves in similar situations and the steps utilized to break free from this terrible abuse pattern. I will recommend this book to anyone who I feel may help them in their self awareness.
    • 5/5
      This was a book that was so dead on! I found the real life explinations of how an abuser sees the world accurate and mind blowing. An exceptionally well written, intelligent, accurate description of abuse and the long term effects of it. The resource page has become just as valuable. I highly recommend this book for anyone trying to break the cycle. This book is a great read to help the healing for both the abuser and the abused. I have even repurchased this book in paperback form in the hope another can find the well of wisdom within.
    • 5/5
      Very refreshing humble honesty from one man's brokenness inspiring others to surrender their pride to heal and grow from the prison of abusiveness. Insightful to read that he did not realize he was abusive because of stunted emotional development stemming from childhood experiences. Sad it took the loss of his marriage for him to see. Great read for both the abuser and those suffering from abuse.
    • 5/5
      This book is amazing coming from someone that has experienced emotional abuse for almost 16 years in the receiving end but also on the abuser end. This book has opened my mind to myself and the way I behave as well as what I’ve experienced. I have always had hope until this last time my husband withdrew a little over 2 weeks ago and left me feeling like everything is my fault. I actually went to a counselor and she made me aware of emotional neglect and so I did a search on a couple books which included this one. I enjoyed this book and the insight it brought. I only wished my husband cared to do the same. You cant change someone’s behavior that doesn’t want to change. I will be working on myself and my relationship with god.
    • 5/5
      It takes lots of courage to acknowledge your destructive behaviors and how they effect your family, it is very well-Written and hit home but it helped open my eyes to what me and my two beautiful children have endured for over 15 years. My eyes are open now ?

    Book preview

    Emotional Abuse - Jonathan S. Costas

    Introduction

    The saying sticks and stones will break your bones, but names will never hurt you couldn’t be more incorrect. In fact, one of the first questions asked at victims of any kind of abuse is, Has it ever gotten physical?. While there is no denying that it’s important to identify and stop physical abuse, the issue is when that’s where we stop.

    Stopping at that point before inquiring or worrying about any other kinds of abuse basically implies that it’s not important to pay attention to other forms of abuse besides physical. The underlying message that this also conveys to victims of abuse is that whatever else might be going on (such as verbal and emotional assaults) aren’t that bad.

    This is a big problem, because other forms of abuse, such as emotional abuse and psychological abuse, can definitively be a nightmare that can end up ruining lives.

    A relationship could even never get to the point of physical abuse, but victims may end up suffering devastating consequences, such as suffering extreme illnesses, and even death. And while physical abuse won’t always be present when there is emotional abuse, physical abuse is almost always preceded by less tangible forms of abuse.

    So the big question is, why don’t we then hear more about emotional or psychological abuse? Why is there such an emphasis placed on physical forms of abuse, while non physical forms tend not to be mentioned as often?

    This book is for people who want to learn more about this very topic. You will learn what emotional abuse is, the signs of emotional abuse, and patterns of abuse.

    Aside from this, you will also learn how to stop emotional abuse and the things to do to heal and recover from abuse.

    By following the advice you’ll find in the following chapters, you will learn how to get your life back, or help others that are currently suffering from emotional abuse and can’t seem to improve their situation, even if they’re aware of what’s going on.

    No matter how it’s presented, psychological and emotional abuse are extreme acts of selfishness.

    Thank you and I hope you enjoy this book. If you’d like to support the work of independent authors, please consider leaving a review after reading.

    Chapter 1: Emotional Abuse Explained

    When people hear about emotional abuse, most of them have a very vague idea of what it really is. On the other hand, most of them know what physical abuse is and have a very clear idea of what it involves, but not emotional abuse. They may be correct into thinking that emotional abuse causes some type of harm to another person. But the rest is clouded

    What Emotional Abuse Isn’t

    Before going into the details on what emotional abuse is, it is imperative to understand what it is not.

    Asking your partner for a break up after an intense argument is not emotionally abusive. It is also not emotionally abusive when your partner reacts to anything you said that hurt them. Speaking your mind or simply being honest with your feelings to your partner doesn’t equal emotional abuse. A simple disagreement wherein a shouting match between couples ensure is in no way a manifestation of emotional abuse.

    So, is yelling emotionally abusive, you ask? Yelling per se cannot be considered as an act of emotional abuse. Parents occasionally yell at their children if they have not been obedient and this is not always abuse. Or you may have yelled at your spouse during a disagreement. Categorically speaking, this is not emotional abuse. Yelling is an expression, often used by most people to let out an intense emotion or feeling. For most, once they have yelled at someone, they feel relieved.

    How then can it be considered as an abuse? When the yelling becomes an act to humiliate the other person, that’s when it crosses the line and becomes emotional abuse. It’s a thin line though. This aspect will be discussed in the later chapters.

    What is Emotional Abuse?

    With emotional abuse, there is an attempt of the other person to take control. This is the same for physical abuse, the other person wants to gain control of the other. The difference is that there is no physical harm involved in emotional abuse. Physical abuse may include pinching, pushing, grabbing, kicking, heating, or other physical forms that may cause harm. Instead, the emotional abuser uses emotion as his or her weapon of choice.

    This may come as a surprise, but psychologists say that it is common for perpetrators of emotional abuse to be unaware that they are being abusive.

    For instance, a wife feels insecure about her husband’s love for her, so she becomes suspicious and accuses her husband of cheating, blames him for her unhappiness, or checks her husband’s text messages, emails, and even social media activities. This is an illustration of emotional abuse – making accusations, putting blame, and constant checking on their partner’s activities.

    Another example, a husband is constantly trying to control his wife’s every move. He is someone who wants his partner to look perfect with other people. So, he harshly criticizes her every move if they didn’t conform to what the husband thinks is the norm (or what is perfect according to him). He often threatens her when she appears to be getting out of hand. He is very critical of what she wears, how she acts, eating habits, etc. He wants to control everything that his wife does.

    Melissa and John

    To illustrate, let’s look at a married couple Melissa and John. Melissa always criticizes John. She hopes to control John’s behavior by constantly putting him down. She would belittle her when they are alone, and openly puts him down when they are around other people.

    Every time John tries to speak up for himself or calls Melissa on her behavior, she would make him feel like he’s crazy. She’d reason out that everyone they know thinks he’s crazy and not one of their friends or family members would take him seriously.

    She would constantly blame John for her unhappiness. Whenever she’s upset she would always blame John for it. Melissa never takes responsibility for her own actions or behavior. She wouldn’t take the responsibility, yet she would do the same things for which she criticizes her husband.

    She would call him names, like dumb, stupid, fool, and other degrading names frequently. She would do and say things so that their friends and family would disrespect him. She would treat him with disdain and disgust.

    She would constantly tell him she’d leave him, or she’d stop talking to him if he didn’t change. She would go to some family members and friends of John and she would talk to them about him. As a result, John would be isolated from the people who could actually support him. He cannot go to these people for help because they have been brainwashed.

    Melissa is clearly showing a distinct pattern of emotional abuse:

    Constantly criticizing her partner or attempting to control and manipulate him

    Shaming and blaming him using hostile sarcasm or verbal assault

    Name-calling

    Making threats or withholding affection as a form of punishment

    Refusal to accept her faults and take responsibility for her actions

    Using mind games

    Refusal to communicate

    Isolating John from his family and friends

    This cycle of emotional abuse follows the same pattern as physical abuse – the moment the victim of abuse realizes what’s going on and to talk about leaving or seriously talks to their abuser about their actions, the

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