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    The X-Rated Drink Book - Adult Content - You've Been Warned
    The X-Rated Drink Book - Adult Content - You've Been Warned
    The X-Rated Drink Book - Adult Content - You've Been Warned
    Ebook256 pages1 hour

    The X-Rated Drink Book - Adult Content - You've Been Warned

    By Dennis Wildberger

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    About this ebook

    Mixing drinks isn't that hard. You buy the ingredients, follow the directions, pour the right measurements, and you're done. At the end of this book are some simple bartending tips and a few pictures. If you are a moron, then maybe you should let someone else be the bartender.

    If you think you can handle it, this book contains recipes with risqué titles, and a few with some X-rated ingredients. All of the recipes included here were given to me by bartenders all over the world. I've tried a few, and a couple in particular had me crawling for the toilet.
    But don't let my experience jade you. Try them all for yourself. Or make them for your friends. I don't give a fuck. Either way, you drink enough of anything and you're going to get wasted.

    And if you are easily offended and have thin skin, close this book right now. I am an equal opportunity offender. I even offend myself sometimes. And don't go boo-hooing to the Internet police; you were warned!

    Here is the obligatory part where I tell you not to drink and drive, always find a designated driver, never have sex with farm animals, blah, blah, blah. If you are buying my book, hopefully you know better.

    Have a good time, knock back a few, have some laughs, spend quality time with friends, all of that bullshit. Just don't curse me when you're vomiting on your shoes.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherDocWild Publishing Company
    Release dateMar 29, 2019
    ISBN9781386078791
    The X-Rated Drink Book - Adult Content - You've Been Warned
    Author

    Dennis Wildberger

    Dennis started his career in the restaurant and nightclub industry when he was just 16.  Learning the  business from the ground up, Dennis quickly realized what “customer service” meant.   At 18, he took a job as a bartender’s assistant at an established restaurant.  His first assignment was working with John, a 68 year old man who had spent his entire life as a bartender.  John, like Dennis, started bartending when he was in his teens, working at a speak-easy during prohibition.   John mentored Dennis, teaching him that working the bar was an art, and the only way to be successful was to know everything you could about your craft.  Dennis learned all of the classic cocktail recipes, including some that hadn’t been called for in years.  In no time, he began working shifts by himself.  However, Dennis still had a lot to learn.   The clientele of the restaurant would frequently request a cocktail that Dennis had never heard of.  The few cocktail reference books there behind the bar were of little help.  Most had only a couple of hundred recipes and rarely had the one that he was looking for.  So Dennis would just ask, “Do you know how to make it?”   To his relief, most people did.  In order to not be stumped again, he began to write the recipes down on 3x5 index cards, storing them in an alphabetical file box for quick reference.  As time progressed, that file box grew rapidly.   Dennis eventually moved on, plying his trade at some of the most popular nightclubs in the country.  Each  club he worked provided the opportunity to expand his cocktail knowledge.  As time went by, his drink file  expanded to more than 10,000 recipes.  Bartenders from restaurants and clubs all over, hearing about his  amazing collection, would call Dennis if they needed a recipe that they couldn’t find.  This “fame” led  Dennis into bartender competitions. He won many, including Jose Cuervo's “Best Margarita Contest” and  Baltimore’s Best Bartender.   Dennis’s skill, experience, and knowledge of the bar industry naturally gave him the opportunity to  coach and mentor young bartenders, much like John did for him all those years ago.

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      Book preview

      The X-Rated Drink Book - Adult Content - You've Been Warned - Dennis Wildberger

      Introduction

      Mixing drinks isn’t that hard.  You buy the ingredients, follow the directions, pour the right measurements, and you’re done.  At the end of this book are some simple bartending tips and a few pictures. If you are a moron, then maybe you should let someone else be the bartender.

      If you think you can handle it, this book contains recipes with risqué titles, and a few with some X-rated ingredients.  All of the recipes included here were given to me by bartenders all over the world.  I’ve tried a few, and a couple in particular had me crawling for the toilet.  But don’t let my experience jade you.  Try them all for yourself.  Or make them for your friends.  I don’t give a fuck.  Either way, you drink enough of anything and you’re going to get wasted.

      And if you are easily offended and have thin skin, close this book right now.  I am an equal opportunity offender.  I even offend myself sometimes.  And don’t go boo-hooing to the Internet police; you were warned!

      Here is the obligatory part where I tell you not to drink and drive, always find a designated driver, never have sex with farm animals, blah, blah, blah.  If you are buying my book, hopefully you know better.

      Have a good time, knock back a few, have some laughs, spend quality time with friends, all of that bullshit.  Just don’t curse me when you’re vomiting on your shoes.

      Cheers!

      Bar Supplies

      To create the perfect cocktail, it is important that you have at your disposal certain items to make the job easier. Here is a list of some of the crucial accessories you should have:

      ––––––––

      Shaker Tins - Shaker tins are used for exactly what the name implies: to shake drinks when required. They are available in a host of sizes, are commonly made of easy-to-clean polished stainless steel, and last a long, long time. It is recommended that you always have two different-sized tins on hand. A large shaker, usually 16 to 18 ounces, and a smaller 12-ounce tin.

      Mixing Glass - A clear mixing glass is an invaluable bar accessory. Used for shaking or stirring cocktails, it allows you to visibly see the drink ingredients as they are added. A 16- ounce pint glass works well. When the large shaker tin is used as a cover or cap for the mixing glass, you have created the perfect cocktail shaker set.

      Cocktail Strainer - A cocktail strainer is absolutely necessary. Made of stainless steel with a large curled spring-like coil attached to it, a strainer will allow you to make those up drinks very easily. When placed on top of a shaker tin or mixing glass, it holds back the ice cubes in the cocktail for straining.

      Bar Spoon - A long-handled, stainless steel spoon will allow you to easily stir the cocktails you have created.

      Bottle Opener - A good bottle opener is essential. It helps you to quickly and easily open beer bottles. There are many models to choose from, but I prefer this flat stainless steel version (pictured). It is efficient, and fits nicely in the back pocket of your pants where it is readily available. Although most bottles these days have screw-off caps, I still recommend always using a bottle opener whenever possible. It certainly saves a lot of stress on your hands.

      Can Opener - Also known as a church key, this item is needed for opening juice cans and such.

      Cork Puller - A necessary tool for opening corked bottles of wine. There are several different versions of corkscrews on the market, but I prefer this waiter’s corkscrew. It folds up nicely to fit in your pocket, and does the job quite well.

      Ice Scoop - A small ice scoop in your ice bin is absolutely required to help you to quickly fill your glasses or shakers with the necessary amount of ice cubes. (Never use a cocktail glass to scoop ice. If that glass breaks, you certainly will have a mess.)

      Blender - A good-quality blender is essential for making those delicious frozen drinks. Normally, the blender cup will hold up to 64 ounces, so you can make double or triple batches at the same time. I prefer a heavy-duty blender with a stainless steel cup that has a tight-fitting rubber lid.

      Muddler - A muddler is a small length of coated wood with a knob on one end. It is used for crushing or muddling fruit and other items when required.

      Jigger Measure - A jigger measure is a convenient way to accurately measure the exact ingredients in your cocktails. Made of stainless steel or plastic, one side of a normal jigger holds 1/2 ounce, the other side holds one full ounce.

      Speed Pourers - All of your frequently used liquor bottles should be topped with a speed pourer. They allow you to accurately create a precise stream of liquid without going through the hassle of removing the cap from the bottle. Speed pourers should fit snuggly into the bottle.

      Measured Pourer - Similar to the speed pourer, a measured pourer will allow only a certain amount of fluid to pass through it before it automatically cuts off. These are good as a timesaving method, and for helping you measure exact amounts, but can occasionally be irritating. Measured pourers are commonly available in one ounce and 1 1/4 ounce pours.

      Funnel - A small funnel should always be kept behind your bar. It is an invaluable tool in transferring liquids from one container to another without spillage.

      Glass Rimmer - A nice accessory to have. It will allow you to quickly rim your cocktail glass with salt or another condiment for margaritas or other drinks, as necessary.

      Professional glass rimmers commonly have three separate compartments: one to hold salt, one to hold sugar, and the other that has a round sponge insert that can be moistened with fruit juice. They fold up nicely for storage.

      Storage Bottles - Also known as store-&-pour containers, these plastic bottles are excellent for refrigerating juices. Since it is not advised to store juices in the can after they are opened (the can will impart a tinny flavor), transferring the juice to a storage bottle is recommended. They have a speed pour-type top, are color-coded to match the juice (red for tomato, etc.), and are dishwasher safe.

      Condiment Tray - A necessary and convenient item to have to hold all of your pre- cut garnishes, olives, etc. Most condiment trays have removable, individual compartments and a hinged lid. They are available in plastic or stainless steel.

      Storage Jars - These are great to have available for refrigerating excess garnishes, fruit, etc. Made of plastic with a tight-fitting screw-top lid, most are dishwasher safe.

      Glassware

      Glassware is an extremely important part of building the perfect cocktail. Presentation

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