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The God Of Death Takes A Holiday
The God Of Death Takes A Holiday
The God Of Death Takes A Holiday
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The God Of Death Takes A Holiday

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The god of Death needs a holiday. He nominates Eamon the Handsome Ghoul to act in his absence.
He is granted permission on condition that he goes in disguise and undertakes to locate and recover Oengus, the God of Love, who has gone off the grid.
Disguised in a body swap with a misogynist New Orleans detective, he begins to live in his new role.
He must deal with feelings for Pauline his now wife and also investigate the underworld city of New Orleans with its mixture of the modern and ancient magic and voodoo.

LanguageEnglish
Release dateApr 1, 2019
ISBN9780463882849
Author

Thomas Kennedy

Irish writer of: Irish American Fantasy: Kate and the Raptor Dinosaurs Druids Raptors and Egyptians The New York Druid The Chicago Druid and the Ugly Princess The San Francisco Leprechauns The Boston Druid and the Wizard The Great Fury The Dublin Fosterling The God of Death takes a holiday Swan Magic Hard Boiled/Irish humor: Dark Drink and Conversation More Dark Drink and Conversation Romance/Thriller: The Irish Detective Love on the Dark Side of the City Twisted Love and Money Forensic Affairs Debits and Credits The Doorbell Went The Tigerman Young Woman Dead Madeline Goes Foreign These books are also available on Amazon.com (print), Audible, Kindle, Barnes and Noble etc,.

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    The God Of Death Takes A Holiday - Thomas Kennedy

    The God of Death

    Takes a Holiday

    Thomas Kennedy

    The God of Death

    Takes a Holiday

    Copyright 2018 Thomas Kennedy. All rights reserved.

    The right of Thomas Kennedy to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him.

    This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, incidents, and dialogues are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Where locations are used all characters described therein are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

    Smashwords Edition

    Smashwords Edition License Notes:

    This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

    Other Fantasy Fiction by Thomas Kennedy:

    Druids Raptors and Egyptians

    The New York Druid

    The Chicago Druid and the Ugly Princess

    The San Francisco Leprechauns

    The Boston Druid and the Wizard

    The Great Fury

    The Dublin Fosterling

    Other Novels by Thomas Kennedy

    Dark Drink and Conversation

    More Dark Drink and Conversation

    Twisted Love and Money

    Love on the Dark Side of the City

    The Irish Detective

    Forensic Affairs

    The God of Death

    Takes a Holiday

    Part one

    Chapter one

    Then it was a time that now is only half-remembered through folklore, myth and legend.

    Then it was a time when the Gods meddled in human affairs.

    The great ice age had retreated, opening up territory in northern Europe. Forests came, and animals came and then humans followed a western pathway of migration.

    Milae was Chieftain of the Milesian tribes. He was gravely concerned that the continued westward pressure of migration in the mainland of Europe was putting their territories under pressure.

    Fisherman and adventurers who plied the ancient sea trade routes to the outer limits of western Europe had returned to the Milesians with tales of a large island of temperate climate, much forested and rich in fruit and honey and wildlife and with rivers and seas full of fish.

    Milae decided it was time to verify these tall tales.

    The leader of the first exploration he commanded was Milae’s brother, Sith.

    They expected these lands to the western edge of Europe to be empty.

    Sith went to explore, sailing north-westwards, following the westerly winds up the Gulf Stream of the Atlantic Ocean.

    Nothing was heard or could be heard of him until his crew returned. And when they did they brought Sith’s dead body preserved in brine back with them.

    The crew confirmed the rumors of a green and pleasant land but informed Milae that it was inhabited with a small but suspicious population, unwelcoming to strangers. The population called themselves the Tuatha De Danann, meaning in their own language, the people of Danu.

    The name of the Goddess Danu was known throughout Europe, but her people had disappeared from the mainland. Clearly, they had made this island their new home having migrated in times past.

    Milae listened to the accounts of the surviving crew and he paid particular attention to the report of Amergin the medicine man who had travelled with the expedition.

    Amergin was a cultured man of some education and an experienced arbitrator in the laws and practices of the Milesians. Milae held Amergin in high regard. He asked Amergin to give his opinion.

    Amergin explained that during the expedition he had used the time to study the language of the Tuatha de Danann and had succeeded in having a crude command. He had kept maps and a record of the voyage.

    He advised Milae that his brother Sith had unwisely relaxed his guard.

    His account confirmed the accounts of the other crewmembers in explaining that initially welcoming, the Tuatha de Danann had taken Sith into their lodges and entertained him, showing great curiosity and hospitality.

    However as one and then two months passed, it seemed to the crew that Sith became almost as native as the Tuatha de Danann, dressing in their manner and enjoying the conversation of their women. He failed to notice that their welcome was wearing thin.

    One evening, while feasting on wild boar and honey mead, Sith was indiscreet enough to praise their beautiful women and the land of bountiful rivers, seas and forests and to ask about the great uninhabited areas.

    Fearing he was a precursor to an invasion the native chiefs had already decided to take action, and this was the catalyst. They killed Sith and attacked his crew, who nonetheless, despite causalities, managed to escape back to their ship, taking their dead chief with them.

    So, they will defend what they hold? Milae asked.

    Amergin replied that in his opinion the land was there for the taking. But only if they came well prepared and fought fiercely.

    After two years of preparation, Milae sailed with his sons and their wives and children.

    Milae had organized an armada of thirty-five chiefs, each with a ship full of warriors, promising each Chieftain a share of the new land when it was conquered.

    They had chosen the summer during a period when the weather seemed settled, for sailing from the shore line in those days was indeed a hazardous venture. This was to be a voyage of no return. They knew they needed to succeed by end of autumn so as to be able to winter out in the new land. By making this commitment they knew they had to succeed or die.

    With the help of Amergin and his maps they made landfall close to the place where Sith and his crew had their first contact with the local population. They were at the mouth of a river, in time to be known as the river Boyne, but to them a route that might make it easier to find a way into the interior.

    Amergin together with Donn, Milae’s eldest son, were assigned to make a preliminary exploration and identify a suitable bridgehead where the warriors could come ashore.

    The Tuatha De Danann had set watchers, not knowing but suspecting the intruders might return.

    Eriu the first watcher, who was known to the Tuatha De Danann as either a witch or a goddess, rose up out of a clearing and approached Amergin and Donn.

    She was tall and attractive, of middle age or older with wild eyes and flowing hair, dressed in a long dress of deer hide that covered her from neck to wrist and ankle.

    Welcome warriors, she cried. The land you enter has none better under the rising sun.

    Tell us your name, Amergin replied.

    I am Eiru.

    Then we will call this land Eireann, that is ‘of Eiru’ in your memory, Amergin promised and ran her through with his sword.

    We will conquer by our strength and superiority in arms, Donn said as she fell.

    You are Donn, she cried.

    Donn who had raised his sword to finish her off paused, shocked she could know his name.

    Neither you or those from you will inherit this land Lord Donn, she said with the conviction of a prophesy and then she fell dead at his feet.

    Donn looked with a startled expression at Amergin. "How could she know my name?’ he asked.

    They say this is a land of magic inhabited by the Gods of the Tuatha De Danann, Amergin said grimly, equally shocked.

    He stared at the dead woman realizing she was of a certain noble appearance and wondered if she had been at the banquets with which they had greeted Donn’s uncle Sith and when they had quizzed him about his tribe and his family in Europe? There had been many conversations over copious drinks of alcoholic honey mead.

    I may have been too quick to finish her, he said.

    She’s dead now, Donn said. And it sends a signal that we are here on serious business.

    They left her where she had fallen and proceeded.

    They had not travelled for more than a day and a night when the Tuatha De Danann sent out a delegation to greet them.

    What is the purpose of your visit? they asked.

    Conquest, Amergin explained. We are many and well-armed. We seek a treaty of surrender.

    We are the men who have dwelling in this land and we have possession by this right, they protested.

    We have might of arms, Donn said flatly.

    Our spies tell of a great fleet of ships standing just off the shore. You have done well to avoid the perils of the sea to be able to afflict your invasion on us, MacCelt, leader of the Tuatha De Danann negotiators said.

    They will make landfall and follow us, Amergin promised.

    Let you stay more than ninety waves distance off the shore so no man can wade in or out, MacCelt said.

    To what purpose? Donn asked with a half laugh, half incredulous frown.

    The forces of the Tuatha De Danann will come to meet you on the shore. Then when you disembark we will do battle.

    We seek your surrender, Amergin suggested in a polite tone.

    We remember you Amergin from the first expedition, this is why we have not slain you both in this place, MacCelt said.

    I studied your forces, Amergin replied with a smile, and your arms.

    We fight naked painted in blue colors with honor and dignity. Our men are brave and capable, MacCelt promised.

    We will not be merciful in victory, but we will be soft in accepting surrender, Donn threatened.

    We will discuss this in our Council and gather our forces, MacCelt said. Take this message back to your ships and do us the honor of waiting until we assemble. We would fight on a beach and not amongst our homes and women and children.

    So be it, Amergin said and signaling Donn to follow he turned on his heel and set off back down river without a backward glance.

    That went well, Amergin remarked.

    There must be a trap, Donn said suspiciously.

    Chapter two

    Daghda, Patriarch God of the Thuatha de Danann, was dressed in a simple brown tunic under hooded cape and wearing brown leather boots. In his right hand he held a huge club, pointed at one end and rounded at the other. He was massive and powerful, scarred and battle worn.

    Morrigan was dressed as an ancient Celtic warrior with spear and sword and a well-cut leather tunic and a skirt of coarse wool that clung sufficiently to show she had a good figure. Her footwear was laced up her calves in soft leather with gold inlay.

    He was twice her size and sitting sprawled on his throne while she seemed at ease sitting at his feet.

    Danu a Goddess of the Thuatha De Danann and Noitces her chief minister, knelt respectfully before him.

    Daghda looked at them with a benign expression. These were the direct managers of his earthly realm.

    An invasion? he quizzed, having listened to the report presented by Noitces.

    An invasion by a large well-armed force of Milesians, Danu replied.

    It was inevitable given the scale of migration in Europe, Morrigan offered.

    Danu regarded her with a frown. She did not expect a sympathetic hearing from Daghda’s mistress, the Goddess of War.

    They were in a green and pleasant place not of earth but of a place Daghda had named Otherworld.

    Morrigan is correct, Daghda said. We have long planned to create a place of happiness in Otherworld. The Gods have abandoned earth as a place of dwelling.

    Danu nodded in acknowledgement of this point.

    Our designated place of Tir Na Nógh in Otherworld is prepared, she said, adding, However the issue is whether we will be defeated.

    You will be defeated Danu. Your people are of a loving and gentle disposition. They are too long at peace. The Milesians are familiar with nothing but war and conflict. They are tough and determined and they are numerous.

    It does not feel just that might will defeat right, Danu proposed.

    Haa! Daghda gave a laugh.

    Such is the real world, Morrigan added.

    Move to Tir na Nógh now Danu. Leave those who are human of your people to fight the humans, Daghda instructed.

    It is time, he added softly.

    If our people fight the Milesians and win? Noitces asked.

    Daghda frowned at him. Administrators were only allowed to speak on invitation while in his presence.

    Noitces asks the question with my permission, Danu intervened quickly, fearing Daghda would crush him with his giant club.

    Realizing he was out of order Noitces formed a prayer with his hands and lowered his eyes.

    Noitces is neither God nor Druid nor Wizard, Morrigan said and smiled. He is too close to the residents of the land.

    Noitces will accompany me as my chief minister to Tir na Nógh, Danu said supportively.

    Good, good, Daghda said agreeably.

    If we use our magic we can defeat the Milesians, Danu said.

    Indeed, Daghda said. But Lady Danu you know we have discussed at length in the Council of the Gods. We are tired of the strife of working the land. Let the Milesians seek to take this land. Then we will use the magic, so they cannot take the milk of cattle nor harvest barley nor corn. We will make the forests a place of terror for them.

    To what purpose Lord Daghda? Danu asked.

    We will seek homage and offerings from them and their successors on the land. They will work it and we will take a dividend of their labors or they will not prosper.

    We will leave the Faerie and the Troll and other Otherworld creatures. We will allow Faery Forts and secret places, Morrigan added.

    But the Milesians? Danu asked.

    The Milesians will realize that their conquest of the land is only on our sufferance, Morrigan added with satisfaction. And I will stir war amongst them, so the land is never at peace.

    Will you allow us no magic? Danu pressed.

    Daghda sighed. He knew he would have to concede something, but he was ill disposed. He expected Danu to be more supportive of his policy but was anxious not to lose her support and find her in opposition.

    What is the greatest strength of the Milesians? he asked, addressing his question to Noitces.

    They are many and are well armed, but they are also well led, Noitces said.

    And are they on an established bridgehead? Morrigan asked.

    No Lady Morrigan, they are at our request standing off ninety waves from the shore awaiting that we assemble and do battle with them, Noitces said.

    Daghda considered.

    Well led? he asked.

    Donn the eldest son of Milae, chief of the invasion force, is a mighty and ruthless warrior, Danu said. And he has two murderous brothers.

    Let me offer this, Daghda said and paused.

    Danu and Noitces waited expectantly.

    Morrigan frowned but said nothing.

    I will give an off-shore wind so that the Milesians will struggle to come ashore, Daghda promised.

    Struggle? Danu asked.

    Struggle Lady Danu but when they fight the wind they will come ashore exhausted and less ready to fight your people.

    Will you not sink their fleet? Danu asked.

    I think not, Daghda said.

    Other than this I must fight them? Danu asked, disappointed.

    Not you Danu. You must go to Tir na Nógh of Otherworld and set your kingdom there. Leave those who wish to fight and take the rest away while the way remains open.

    I am not due to leave earth until the Samhain, Danu protested.

    The Samhain is but two months away, Morrigan pointed out.

    The God of Death is tasked to gather up the souls of the dead in the Samhain. Those who die in the land will be found a place of rest, Daghda added. But after the Samhain the way to Otherworld will close up.

    My people will not be well led, and the Milesians have many chiefs, Danu protested.

    In addition, Daghda offered to deal with her point, I will take the life of Donn so that they are weakened in their leadership.

    The brothers will fight each other to gain the succession, Morrigan promised.

    So be it, Danu said.

    Daghda watched them leave.

    Tough one, Morrigan remarked.

    Let the Lord of Death be brought before me. Before he begins the work of the Samhain he must go on my behalf and ensure the death of Donn, eldest son of Milae, Daghda decided.

    Chapter three

    The wind sprang up as Donn and Amergin reported back on board.

    Ninety waves offshore? Milae asked after he heard their report.

    This is their request. They take great honor in battle, Amergin replied.

    Is it a trap? Milae asked.

    We will see them as they assemble onshore, Amergin reassured.

    I think there’s a trick, but I can’t see it, Donn said.

    It was then the first blast of wind struck. They hurried on deck to ensure the rowers were pulling hard enough to keep them in position.

    There’s magic in this, Donn said bitterly.

    We know not the climate of this land, Milae contradicted, a pragmatist and not a great believer in magic.

    The wind continued late into the evening and the fleet had great difficulty in holding position together. As the afternoon advanced it settled into rain and the wind whipped it in, drenching everything with cold wet sheets of water.

    We must get ashore, Donn insisted as they reviewed the situation at the captain’s table in Milae’s ship.

    How? Milae asked. Do we have a bridgehead?

    We’ll not last the night, either we go with the wind or we row in and beach the ships ashore, Amergin advised.

    High risk, Milae said doubtfully.

    We passed a good inlet a few leagues back from here. If we sail to the peninsula and turn in we can find shelter and get ashore with our arms and equipment, Donn said.

    They examined the charts they had drawn on their way up the coast. For safety they had kept the land in sight and had as was their practice, drawn maps outlining the coast as they saw it on route.

    We need to signal the fleet, Milae said, coming to a decision.

    Soon, it’s getting dark, Amergin urged.

    I’ll go aloft and signal, Donn offered.

    Let’s do it, Milae said decisively.

    McCelt watched from the land as the fleet began an orderly retreat.

    The Gods are with us, he said.

    Donn could see a distance from the top of the mast. Using a flag signaling system, he had guided the turn of the fleet and the raising of sails. The ship was rolling in the wind and the waves, but he was secure in the crow’s nest at the top of the main mast.

    The fact that the wind scarcely blew at his height and the rain was but a wetting spray, confirmed his feeling that magic was afoot.

    From his elevated position he could see the land and that the beginnings of the force the Thuatha de Danann had begun to assemble. Camp Fires were beginning to glow in the twilight.

    He could swear it was dry on land despite rain and wind at sea.

    Donn swore under his breath. They would make landfall and then march north again to engage in battle on grounds of his choosing.

    Distracted with his thoughts as he started to climb out of the crow’s nest to begin to descend, Donn felt his foot slip on the wet cross beam at the top of the sail as the ship rolled on the waves and the sail creaked in the wind. He grabbed at the crow’s nest. He had shed his armor and weapons to climb aloft but as usual had his dagger at his belt. This seemed to snag on a rope. Donn steadied himself balancing precariously and freed the snagged dagger and then decided to proceed down.

    Out of nowhere a gust of wind took his balance.

    He felt himself go and in the moment he

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