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    The Arrest
    The Arrest
    The Arrest
    Ebook36 pages26 minutes

    The Arrest

    By J.T. Evergreen

    ()

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    About this ebook

    My breath caught when I saw how much this ticket was going to cost me, “Holy shit.” I wondered if he was any good at mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. I could have used some of that, after what he had just done to me with this ticket.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherJ.T. Evergreen
    Release dateFeb 18, 2019
    ISBN9780463625569
    The Arrest
    Author

    J.T. Evergreen

    OCCUPATION - Retired from the grind. Reflecting on successes, failures, and regrets. Exploring new aspects of self, writing that book which will get me an Oscar, staying out of trouble - well, small amounts of trouble are ok. Bringing joy into people's lives with random acts of kindness - the ones who aren't expecting it are the best. Cheering up check-out clerks at WalMart.ABOUT ME - Alone in blessed singleness. Wicked sense of humor, enjoy my own company, glad I'm not young any longer. I do miss the intimacy of being in love. A good catch . . . at least I think so. Enjoy the possibilities of every moment, an imagination that won't quite, a master weaver - give away everything I make, excellent portrait painter, a national treasure - though no one agrees with me, a good listener, intuitive, a good conversationalist, avoid boredom and boring people at all costs - that's a career all by itself.INTERESTS - Intelligent conversation: hard to come by these days, metaphysics, mysticism, my pups - Charlie, Max, and Bailey, seeing the funny side of life, going to Macy's at Christmas time - kicking Santa and punching an Elf. If I had a singing voice, which I don't, I would sing all of the time, wherever I was - even in WalMart. Wouldn't that be enchanting? When I receive the Oscar for the book I'm writing, I will have some baritone sing On A Clear Day, and I will lip sync his voice. It will wow the audience.PUBLICATIONS – Short Stories to celebrate the NEW YEAR - 23 delightful short stories; Alone at the Beach 25 short stories to keep you company, Home Alone, 8 Great Stories to keep you company, Born in the Twilight, Injun Summer, This’nThat, Short Stories for a Summer’s Day. Holiday Short Stories, With All My Love, Father Frederick Monahan, Shangri la, Stepping Stones to God, I’m Gay Mother – Get Over it, The Olde Book Shoppe, Naked Before God, The Italian Call Boy, The Silence of Healing, Death of a Pope, The Best Short Stories Ever, and My Love Affair with Father Tomas McTavish, working on a new character, Father Gibbon with Sister Mary Magda in TheAdventure of Father Gibbon with Sister M. Magda - it's about murder. I get choked up when I re-read some of my sentimental stories. I’m told that’s a sign of being a good writer.LOVES - Color and lots of it, strawberry jam, hiking up Yosemite Falls, Golden Gate Bridge, San Francisco, sourdough bread, only made in San Francisco. Hearst Castle, Big Sur, sea air, Adams peanut butter, chocolate milk, rainy days, canaries singing, chocolate chip cookies my mother made, Greek yogurt with honey - oh, yum. Laughter. I make it a point of doing this many times a day.HATES - Stupidity, insensitivity, bad table manners - come on, how difficult is it to hold a fork properly - it's not a shovel for God's sake. Snow, ice, slush, freeway traffic, lima beans - what was God thinking, sleepless nights, people who are late, texting - it's a cop-out, tobacco, alcohol, red meat,FAVORITE BOOKS - The Spiritual Journey of Joel S. Goldsmith, How to Win Friends and Influence People - I collect this book and give them to people I hate - there's a waiting list.FAVORITE MUSIC – Let's Talk Dirty to the Animals – Gilda Radner - funny lady;; Joplin’s Peachrine, Ahmad Jamal - Country Tour - the absolute best jazz - never tire of it. Someone Waits for You – Carly Simons, Helen Kane singing Button Up Your Overcoat and I Want to Be Bad – I relate to the lyrics. And the Tenor who sang Springtime for Hitler in the Zero Mostel version of The Producers. No one seems to know who he is. What a voice.FAVORITE FILMS – The Celluloid Closet, Witness for the Prosecution, It Could Happen to You, Maltese Falcon, Inherit the Wind, 12 Angry Men, Harold and Maude, Murder on the Orient Express, Hope and Glory, Sorry Wrong Number, Speed, Practical Magic, Apollo 13, Where the Red Fern Grows, The original Producers - touch me, hold me - Estelle was terrific, and Zero - what can I say.FAVORITE TV SHOWS - I don't watch TV any more, but when I did . . . 2-1/2 men - when it was good. Everybody loves Raymond - some great writers; best sight gagsFAVORITE QUOTES – The poetry in writing is the illusion it creates: by me. Lord Chesterfield: “Sex: the pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable.” The saddest words of tongue or pen are these - It might have been - indeed they are. If you want to make a success out of old age, you better start now: my mother when I was 15. On a clear day, you really can see forever - you just have to look. I may be rancid butter, but I'm on your side of the bread. Inherit the Wind.FAMILY – A father who was emotionally absent, a mother who provided all the necessities of life and nothing more. An older brother who is a classic socio-psychopath and made my childhood a misery. I hide from everything just to survive. My right of passage came when I was 18 and joined the Naval Air Reserves. In boot camp I hide in the back row the first day, and guess whose name they called to be the Company Commander – me. But it was the best thing that could have happened and I bless that moment. I had to lead those 50 plus men and boys for 90 days. The night of graduation we drilled in front of the audience and it was perfect. The guys carried me from the hangar in triumph. I came out of the shadows that summer and never went back. I'm a louse when it comes to cleaning house, too many other more enjoyable things to do.“The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor WitShall lure it back to cancel half a Line,Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.”Omar Khayyam

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      Book preview

      The Arrest - J.T. Evergreen

      The Arrest

      Copyright 2019 J.T. Evergreen

      Published by J.T. Evergreen

      at Smashwords

      This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your enjoyment only, then please return to Smashwords.com or your favorite retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      Acknowledgements

      Many thanks to Khris Lawrentz for his tireless proofreading.

      The Arrest

      As told by Clark Kent

      Sir, you were driving 31 miles an hour in a 20 mile an hour zone, came the gruff announcement from Officer Krupke.

      I wasn’t, said I.

      You were, said he.

      I mean I didn’t realize I was. I’m not denying it. Are you going to arrest me and take me to jail? A momentary fantasy I was having as this handsome police officer began writing on his citation pad.

      Only if you resist, he mused and continued to write.

      Only if I resist? Now there was a thought pregnant with possibilities. If I got myself arrested, I wondered if he would do a cavity search. Probably not. But there’s no law against asking for one. I’d love to see the expression on his face if I did ask. On second thought, maybe not.

      Your driver’s license and registration, please.

      When I handed him the requested documents, I glanced up and thought he was having difficulty keeping a straight face. Ok. Sock it to me, officer.

      As he wrote on his pad, I noticed … You’re left-handed.

      I am.

      I also noticed he wasn’t wearing a wedding ring. Are you married?

      That … is none of your business, sir. The tone of his voice told me he was definitely having a very tough time not smiling.

      Sorry. I looked away, thought about it, then looked back, It’s just that I’m gay and I’m looking for a partner.

      I could arrest you for soliciting.

      "I wasn’t soliciting.

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