Sri Ramakrishna on Himself

Sri Ramakrishna

• ON HIMSELF •

Compiled by

Dr. Mohit Ranjan Das

(PUBLICATION DEPARTMENT)

5 DEHI ENTALLY ROAD * KOLKATA 700014

Published by

The Adhyaksha

Advaita Ashrama

P.O. Mayavati, Dt.Champawat - 262524

Uttarakhand, India

from its Publication Department, Kolkata

Published by

The Adhyaksha

Advaita Ashrama

P.O. Mayavati, Dt.Champawat - 262524

Uttarakhand, India

from its Publication Department, Kolkata

Email: mail@advaitaashrama.org

Website: www.advaitaashrama.org

© Advaita Ashrama

All Rights Reserved

Print Book ISBN: 978-81-7505-421-9

Ebook ISBN: 978-81-7505-812-5

First Print Book Edition, May 2014

First Ebook Edition - September 2017

PUBLISHER’S NOTE

THE LIFE OF a prophet is best told by himself. This book is an attempt to form an autobiography of Sri Ramakrishna from his utterances about his life. We are sure that the readers will be delighted to go through it and get benefited by the contemplation on this great life.

21 MAY 2014

PUBLISHER

PREFACE

ALTHOUGH A BIOGRAPHY and an autobiography are considered complementary to each other, the autobiography of a mystic bears more positive and authentic value than that of the mystic’s biography. Mystics, in general, live within their spiritual world. As a result, biographers living on the external planes are not found to be fully capable to precisely portrait the subliminal Self of the mystics. The absence of autobiographies in this case, therefore, cannot be fulfilled by other means. The uniqueness of published autobiographies of Vijaykrishna Goswami, Kuladananda Brahmachari, Annada Thakur, and Yogananda Paramahamsa. substantiate this veracity.

Streams of multi-branched sadhanas all at the same time found an appropriate confluence in Sri Ramakrishna. Keeping the focus on ‘As many faiths, so many paths’, the Master performed various unique sadhanas, resulting in spiritual illumination, and simultaneously churning out of his subliminal Self in different colours and tones. The ablest biographer may find it difficult to comprehend the evolution of the Master’s inmost self, and episodes of divine transformation, resulting from the long and arduous journey of his sadhanas during the period from the first vision of the Divine Mother at the Dakshineswar Kali temple and arrival of his devotees. This profound, but sublime Consciousness would, perhaps, be incomprehensible to the common people without an autobiography of Sri Ramakrishna.

On many occasions, there are instances when many divine souls kept useful unexpected resources reserved for future generations. These are beyond our comprehension. Only for this reason, their noble gifts remains unutilized.

While going through ‘Sri Sri Ramakrishna Kathamrita’ and ‘Sri Sri Ramakrishna Lila-Prasanga’ several times, I suddenly discovered that Sri Ramakrishna reserved such an invaluable gift for us, the full depiction of which still awaits compilation. That gift is nothing but his autobiographical notes scattered hither and thither of these two sourcebooks. We are only to collect those pearls one by one with a view to making a beautiful necklace.

It is not wise to claim that this is a case of new discovery; nevertheless, one may term it so. At different times and during various discourses, Sri Ramakrishna expressed many things before his intimate devotees about his external as well as internal state. The quantitative and qualitative values of these states are of paramount significance to us. We are yet to come across another mystic who desired to express and ultimately became successful to churn out the mystery of spiritual practice of life, and the most secluded and the most profound realization.

The five volumes each of the ‘Kathamrita’ and the ‘Lila-Prasanga’ (the old edition), a total of the ten volumes contain such sayings of Sri Ramakrishna, the authenticity of which have been accepted irrevocably. It is a matter of selecting his autobiographical notes from those sayings without any addition and alteration of any word/sentence, and arranging in a systematic way so as to give shape in the form of an autobiography. The present one has been compiled in this very manner.

It may also be worthwhile to mention that more and more autobiographical notes have been found in the various source-books of the Ramakrishna-Vivekananda Literature besides the above. The said necklace has not been deprived of suitable pearls mined for the purpose.

This work, though not claiming to be a product of original thought, is the outcome of plentiful diligence, watchful consideration and consultation. The frequent visits into the afore-said ten volumes and selecting the autobiographical sayings of the Master are pre-eminently strenuous endeavours. Our efforts to connect the scattered sayings of the Master without any impairment with a view to maintaining relevance and congruity are nothing short of a herculean task.

In course of these efforts we have also come across some notable difficulties. In some cases, the time and age as hinted about various incidents in the sayings of Sri Ramakrishna are in variance for with the recorded time and age in his standard biography. Nevertheless, we have only used the Master’s quoted talks arising from his memory verbatim in this autobiography. His consciousness of time-period in the reminiscences of remote childhood and adolescence will not be minute as found in his authentic biography, and is quite obvious to be so.

It is further observed that Sri Ramakrishna narrated the same event in different versions in course of various discourses. In that case, his one or more sayings for the same event have been considered attentively and combined carefully, so that unnecessary repetitions of the Master’s talks can be avoided, but not a single word has been left out.

CONTENTS

PUBLISHER’S NOTE

PREFACE

1. ANCESTRY, BIRTH, AND EARLY DAYS

2.  ARRIVAL AT CALCUTTA:

3.  F IRST FOUR YEARS OF SADHANA

4.  SECOND FOUR YEARS OF SADHANA

5.  RELATION WITH HALADHARI, HRIDAY, AND OTHER RELATIVES

6.  RELATION WITH SOME NOTEWORTHY MONKS

7. RELATION WITH SOME NOTEWORTHY SPIRITUAL ASPIRANTS

8.  RELATION WITH OTHER MONKS

9.  RELATION WITH INTELLECTUALS AND ARISTOCRATS

10.PILGRIMAGE

11. RANI RASMANI, MATHUR NATH BISWAS AND HIS FAMILY

12. VISIT TO KAMARPUKUR AND OTHER PLACES

13. HOLY MOTHER

14. BRAHMO SAMAJ AND KESHAB CHANDRA SEN

15.  FULFILMENT OF DESIRES

16. DEATH OF RELATIVES AND CLOSE ASSOCIATES

17. THE BEES COME OF THEIR OWN ACCORD TO SEEK THE HONEY 

18. NARENDRA AND RAKHAL

19. GOD ALSO LIVED WITH THEM

20. HOUSEHOLDER DISCIPLES OF ‘INNER CIRCLE’ 

21. SOME NOTEWORTHY LILA-COMPANIONS

22. RELATION WITH WOMEN DEVOTEES

23. ARRIVAL OF MORE AND MORE BEES TO THE MARKET OF JOY

24. DISCOURSES ON VARIOUS DIVINE MOODS

25. LAST WORDS

CHRONOLOGY OF THE LIFE OF SRI RAMAKRISHNA

GLOSSARY

REFERENCES

1

ANCESTRY, BIRTH,

AND EARLY DAYS

HE (MY FATHER) SPENT most of the day in worship, japa, and meditation. While practising his daily spiritual disciplines, when he would recite the invocation of the Gayatri mantra, ‘Do Thou reveal to me, O Goddess Gayatri, the giver of boons,’ and so on, his chest would swell and turn crimson. Tears flowed from his eyes. When he was not engaged in worship, he would spend his time making flower garlands with needle and thread to decorate Raghuvir. He left his parental home because he refused to give false testimony. The villagers loved and respected him as a rishi.  (1)

When my father walked along the lanes of the village wearing his wooden sandals, the shopkeepers would stand up out of respect and say, ‘There he comes!’ When he bathed in the Haldarpukur, the villagers would not have the courage to get into the water. Before bathing they would inquire if he had finished his bath. When my father chanted the name of Raghuvir, his chest would turn crimson. This also happened to me. When I saw the cows at Vrindavan returning from the pasture, I was transported into a divine mood and my body became red.  (2)

My mother was an embodiment of simplicity. She was not worldly-wise at all; she did not even know how to count money. She was not clever enough to keep confidences when necessary. She would divulge whatever was in her mind to everyone. That is why people called her ‘loose-lipped.’ She was fond of feeding people.  (3)

People of bygone generations had tremendous faith. What faith Haladhari’s father had! Once he was on the way to his daughter’s house when he noticed some beautiful flowers and bel-leaves. He gathered these for the worship of the Family Deity and walked back five or six miles to his own house.

Once, a theatrical troupe in the village was enacting the life of Rama. When Kaikeyi asked Rama to go to exile in the forest, Haladhari’s father, who had been watching the performance, sprang up. He went to the actor who played Kaikeyi, crying out, ‘You wretch!’, and was about to burn the actor’s face with a torch. He was a very pious man. After finishing ablutions he would stand in the water and meditate on the Deity, reciting the invocation: ‘I meditate on Thee, of red hue and four faces’, while tears streamed down his cheek.  (4)

Once, my father went to Gaya. There Raghuvir said to him in a dream, ‘I shall be born as your son.’ Thereupon my father said to Him, ‘O Lord, I am a poor brahmin. How shall I be able to serve You?’ ‘Don’t worry about it’, Raghuvir replied, ‘It will be taken care of.  (5)

I was born on the second day of the bright fortnight of the moon. My horoscope shows the positions of the Sun, the Moon, and Mercury at the time of my birth. There are not many more details.  (6)

During my younger days the men and women of Kamarpukur were equally fond of me. They loved to hear me sing. I could imitate other people’s gestures and conversation, and I used to entertain them that way. The women would put aside things for me to eat. No one distrusted me. Everybody took me in as one of the family.

But I was like a happy pigeon. I used to frequent only happy families. I would run away from a place where I saw misery and suffering. One or two young boys of the village were my close friends. I was very intimate with some of them; but now they are totally immersed in worldliness. A few of them visit me here now and then and say, ‘Goodness! He seems to be just the same as he was in the village school.  (7)

While I was at school, arithmetic would throw me into confusion, but I could paint very well and could also model small images of the deities at my young age in the country. I could model the image of Lord Krishna with a flute in his hand. In this way I could model images of various gods and goddesses. I further sold those images at the rate of five or six annas. Again, I could model dolls, with provision of springs for their movement. The technicians of the Ras festival sometimes came to me for making proper styles ... I also knew the art of brickworks.

I loved to visit the free eating-places maintained for holy men and the poor, and would watch them for hours. I loved to hear the reading of sacred books such as the Ramayana and Bhagavata. If the readers had any affectations, I could easily imitate them and would entertain others with my mimicry.  (8),  (9)

During my boyhood I could understand what the sadhus read at the Laha’s house at Kamarpukur, although I would miss a little here and there. If a pundit speaks to me in Sanskrit I can follow him, but I cannot speak it myself. (10)

I understood the behaviour of women very well and imitated their words and intonations. I could easily recognize immoral women. Immoral widows part their hair in the middle and perform their toilet with great care. They have very little modesty. The way they sit is so different!

Hold not, hold not the chariot’s wheels!

Is it the wheels that make it move?

The Mover of its wheels is Krishna.

By whose will the worlds are moved.

I used to sing these songs very often during my boyhood. (When Ramlal sang the above song Sri Ramakrishna said) I could reproduce the whole drama from memory. (11)

In that part of the country (Kamarpukur) children are given puffed rice to eat from small baskets. Those who are poor and have no baskets eat from the corner of a cloth. Boys go out to play on the roads or in the fields carrying puffed rice either in a basket or in the corner of a cloth. It was June or July. I was then six or seven years old. One morning I took some puffed rice in a small basket and was eating it as I walked along the narrow ridges of the rice fields. In one part of the sky a beautiful black cloud appeared, heavy with rain. I was watching it and eating the puffed rice. Very soon the cloud covered almost the whole sky. Then a flock of cranes came flying, white as milk against the black cloud. It was so beautiful that I became absorbed in the sight; I lost consciousness of everything outside of myself. I fell down, and the puffed rice was scattered over the ground. I cannot say how long I was in that state. Some people saw this and carried me home. That was the first time I lost external consciousness due to ecstasy. (12)

I experienced one of my first ecstasies (actually second ecstasy) when I was ten or eleven years old, as I was going through a meadow to the shrine of Vishalakshi. What a vision! I became completely unconscious of the outer world. (13)

I used frequently to visit a certain house at Kamarpukur. The boys of the family were of my age. Their mother used to hate people. Then something happened to her foot, and gangrene set in. On account of the foul smell, no one could enter her room. (14)

I saw a deputy magistrate at Kamarpukur. His name was Iswar Ghoshal. He had a turban on his head. Men’s very bones trembled before him. I remember having seen him during my boyhood. Is a deputy magistrate a person to be trifled with. (15)

As a boy, at Kamarpukur, I loved Ram Mallick dearly. But afterwards, when he came here, I couldn’t even touch him. Ram Mallick and I were great friends during our boyhood. At that time, I was sixteen or seventeen years old. People used to say, ‘If one of them were a woman they would marry each other.’ I remember those days very well. His relatives used to come riding in palanquins. Now he has a shop at Chanak. I sent for him many a time; he came here the other day and spent two days. Ram said he had no children; he brought his nephew, but the boy died. He told me this with a sigh; his eyes were filled with tears; he was grief-stricken for his nephew. He said further that since they had no children of their own, all his wife’s affection had been turned to the nephew. She was completely overwhelmed with grief. Ram said to her: ‘You are crazy. What will you gain by grieving? Do you want to go to Benares?’ You see, he called his wife crazy. Grief for the boy totally ‘diluted’ him. I found he had no stuff in him. I couldn’t touch him. (16)

In my boyhood days, while bathing in the Ganges, I saw a boy with a gold ornament around his waist. During my state of divine intoxication I had a desire to have a similar ornament myself. I was given one, but I couldn’t keep it on very long. When I put it on, I felt within my body the painful up-rush of a current of air. It was because I had touched gold to my skin. I wore the ornament for a few moments and then had to put it aside. Otherwise I should have had to tear it off. (17)

My sister, Hriday’s mother, used to worship my feet with flowers and sandal-paste. One day I placed my feet on her head and said to her, ‘You will die in Benares. (18)

2

ARRIVAL AT CALCUTTA:

INAUGURATION OF THE

DAKSHINESWAR KALI TEMPLE

WHEN I WAS at Jhamapukur, I used to go frequently to the house of Kali and Bhulu, sons of Ramprasad Mitra as well as to that of Digambar Mitra. (1)

Brother (pointing to the eldest brother Ramkumar), what shall I do with a mere bread-winning education? I would rather acquire that wisdom which will illumine my heart, getting which one is satisfied for ever. (2)

The Rani (Rasmani) set a date and made all the arrangements for her journey to Varanasi. Nearly one hundred boats of different sizes were ready at the ghat, loaded with various objects. In a dream on the night before her departure, she received the divine command of the goddess. The Rani cancelled her pilgrimage and began to search for a suitable place to establish the temple.

There is a saying, ‘The western bank of the Ganges is as holy as Varanasi.’ With this in mind the Rani first tried to find land in the villages of Bally and Uttarpara on the west side of the Ganges, but she failed. The Rani offered enormous amounts of money, but out of petty jealousy the famous landlords of those places refused to sell land to her. Moreover, they even said that they would not bathe at a ghat on the Ganges if it was built by anyone else in their jurisdiction. So the Rani finally bought this place at Dakshineswar on the eastern bank of the Ganges.

Part of the land had belonged to an Englishman; the other part was an abandoned Muslim graveyard where a Muslim holy man had been buried. The plot was in the shape of a tortoise shell, high in the centre and low around the edges. Such a burial ground, according to the Tantras, is a favourable site to establish Mother’s temple and perform sadhana. As if guided by Providence the Rani selected this place. (3)

From the day the making of the image of Kali was begun, the Rani practised severe austerities in accordance with the scriptures. She bathed three times a day, ate plain rice with clarified butter, slept on the floor, repeated a mantra, and performed worship according to her capacity. When the temple was completed and the image was ready, the Rani carefully considered an auspicious day for installation. The image was kept packed in a box lest it be broken. ‘How long will you keep me confined in this way? I am suffering terribly. Install me as soon as possible.’ As soon as she received this command, the Rani anxiously consulted the almanac to set an auspicious day for installing the deity. As there was no auspicious date before Snanyatra, she decided to perform the ceremony on that day. (4)

I was greatly pained because I had to eat the food of a kaivarta. Even many poor beggars would not come to eat at the Kali temple of Rani Rasmani for that very reason. Because there were not enough people accepting that food, some days they fed cows the offered food and threw the rest into the Ganges. (5)

A few days after the dedication of the temple at Dakshineswar, a madman came there who was really a sage endowed with the Knowledge of Brahman. He had a bamboo twig in one hand and a potted mango-plant in the other, and was wearing torn shoes. He didn’t follow any social conventions. After bathing in the Ganges he didn’t perform any religious rites. He ate something that he carried in a corner of his wearing cloth. Then he entered the Kali temple and chanted hymns to the Deity. The temple trembled. Haladhari was then in the shrine. The madman wasn’t allowed to eat at the guest-house, but he paid no attention to this slight. He searched for food in the rubbish heap where the dogs were eating crumbs from the discarded leaf-plates. Now and then he pushed the dogs aside to get his crumbs. The dogs didn’t mind either. Haladhari followed him and asked: ‘Who are you? Are you a purnajnani (a perfect knower of Brahman)?’ The madman whispered, ‘Ssh! Yes, I am a purnajnani.’

My heart began to palpitate as Haladhari told me about it. I clung to Hriday. I said to the Divine Mother, ‘Mother, shall I too have to pass through such a state?’ We all went to see the man. He spoke words of great wisdom to us but behaved like a madman before others. Haladhari followed him a great way when he left the garden. After passing the gate he said to Haladhari: ‘What else shall I say to you? When you no longer make any distinction between the water of this pool and the water of the Ganges, then you will know that you have Perfect Knowledge.’ Saying this he rapidly walked away. (6)

I have no desire to be tied down to a job for life. In particular, if I agree to perform worship here (in the Kali temple), I’ll be put in charge of the goddess’s ornaments. This worries me. It is not possible to accept that responsibility. However, if you (pointing to Hriday) were to take the responsibility for the ornaments, I would then have no objection to performing the worship. (7)

3

FIRST FOUR YEARS OF SADHANA

I

FIRST VISION OF THE DIVINE MOTHER

I MEDITATE UNDER an amlaki tree in the jungle. The scriptures say that if a person meditates under an amlaki tree, whatever he desires is fulfilled.

What do you know? One should meditate by becoming free from all ties. From their very birth human beings are tied with eight fetters: hatred, shame, family status, good conduct, fear, fame, pride of caste, and ego. This sacred thread is a fetter because it signifies vain-glory: ‘I am a brahmin and superior to all.’ One should call on Mother with a one-pointed mind, shunning all bondage. That is why I took off those things. When I return after meditation, I shall put them on again. (1), (2)

I would sit by the Ganges, with some coins and a heap of rubbish by my side, and taking some coins in my right hand and a handful of rubbish in the left, I would tell my soul, ‘My soul! This is what the world calls money, impressed with the queen’s face. It has the power of bringing you rice and vegetables, of feeding the poor, of building houses, and all that the world calls great, but it can never help thee to realize the ever-existent knowledge and bliss, the Brahman. Regard it, therefore, as rubbish.’ I lost all perception between the two in my mind, and threw them both into the Ganges. No wonder people took me for mad. But I was a little frightened. How foolish of me to offend the goddess of fortune! I thought, ‘What shall I do if she doesn’t provide me with food any more?’ I said to the goddess, ‘Mother, may you dwell in my heart. (3), (4)

One idea by degrees filled my mind: ‘Is there anything behind this image? Is it true that there is a Mother of Bliss in the universe? Is it true that She lives and guides this universe, or is it all dream? Is there any reality in religion?’ (5)

Day after day I would weep and say: ‘Mother, is it true that Thou existest, or is it all poetry? Is the Blissful Mother an imagination of poets and misguided people, or is there such a Reality? Why dost Thou not speak? Art Thou dead?’ (6) , (7)

Mother, You showed Yourself to Ramprasad. Why won’t You show Yourself to me? I don’t want wealth, friends, and family, or objects of enjoyment. Please reveal Yourself to me. (8)

Another day of this short life has gone and I have not known the Truth. Do Thou manifest Thyself in me, Thou Mother of the Universe! See that I need Thee and nothing else. (9)

There was an unbearable pain in my heart because I could not have a vision of Mother. Just as a man wrings out a towel with all his strength to get the water out of it, so I felt as if my heart were being wrung out. I began to think I should never see Mother. I was dying of despair. In my agony, I asked myself: ‘What’s the use of living this life?’

Suddenly my eyes fell on the sword that hangs in the Mother’s shrine. Like a madman, I ran to the sword and seized it. Then I had a marvellous vision of the Mother and fell down unconscious. Afterwards what happened in the external world, or how that day and the next passed, I don’t know. But within me there was a steady flow of undiluted bliss that I had never before experienced, and I felt the immediate presence of the Divine Mother.

It was as if the room, doors, temple, and everything else vanished altogether; as if there were nothing anywhere! And what I saw was an infinite shoreless ocean of light; that ocean was consciousness. However far and in whatever direction I looked, I saw shining waves, one after another, coming towards me to swallow me up. They were madly rushing towards me from all sides, with a terrific noise. Very soon they were upon me, and they pushed me down into unknown depths. I panted and struggled and lost consciousness. (10)

A torrent of spiritual light would come then, deluging my mind and urging me forward. I used to tell the Mother, ‘Mother, I could never learn from these erring men; but I will learn from Thee, and Thee alone. (11)

‘Mother, be gracious unto me. Reveal Yourself to me.’ I would cry so bitterly that people would gather around me to watch. I scarcely realized the presence of people around me. They looked more like shadows or painted pictures than real objects, and so I did not feel any shame or embarrassment at all. Sometimes I would lose outer consciousness from that unbearable agony. Immediately after that I would see the Mother’s luminous form bestowing boons and fearlessness! I used to see Her smiling, talking, consoling, or teaching me in various ways. (12)

II

GOD-INTOXICATED STATE

Since that day I have been an altogether different man. I began to see another person within me. When I used to conduct the worship in the temple, my hand, instead of going toward the Deity, would very often come toward my head, and I would put flowers there. A young man who was staying with me did not dare approach me. He would say: ‘I see a light on your face. I am afraid to come very near you.  (13)

There is an image of Bhairava (a form of Shiva) in meditation on the parapet of the natmandir in front of the Kali temple. While going to the temple to meditate, I would point to that image and tell my mind, ‘You must meditate on the Mother like that motionless statue.’ No sooner did I sit down to meditate than I would hear clattering sounds in all of my joints, beginning in my legs. It was as if someone inside me were turning keys to lock me up, joint by joint. I was powerless to move my body or change my posture, even slightly. I couldn’t stop meditating, or leave the temple, or do anything else I wanted. I was forced to sit in that posture until my joints began clattering again and were unlocked, this time beginning at my neck and ending in my legs.

When I sat to meditate, at first I would see particles of light like swarms of fireflies. Sometimes I would see masses of light