A Woman's Guide To Personality Development: An effective self-grooming guide for woman
By Seema Gupta
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About this ebook
Seema Gupta
Seema Gupta has a Master’s Degree in Sociology and MS in Psychotherapy and Counselling. A prolific writer, Ms Gupta has authored several widely acclaimed books on a wide variety of subjects ranging from the position of women in Indian society to interpersonal relationships. Portrait of a Perfect Woman, Correct Etiquette and Manners, Stress@ Home, Teenage Parenting are some of her books which have been widely acclaimed. Many of her articles and short stories have won accolades from her readers.
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A Woman's Guide To Personality Development - Seema Gupta
I am a Woman
Am I a child or an adult
No, not one or the other now
One pace in front of childhood
And one behind an adult
Soon I shall stride into a new world
…The world of adult life.
—Margaret Lawrence
Being a woman is a beautiful feeling. A woman is God’s most enchanting creation. Be it the paintings of the Ajanta and Ellora caves or the sculptures of the Konark and Khajuraho temples, Kalidas’ Shakuntala in Abhigyan Shakuntalam or the Juliet of Shakespeare, the touch of a woman has turned them all into immortal creations.
Women are tender and their character can be portrayed vividly and beautifully in various artistic styles. This world is incomplete without a woman’s touch. All creations of art appear dull and empty without the presence of female characters.
A woman’s journey is a long one. From childhood to teenage to adulthood, a woman passes through so many phases in life with such ease and expertise that it is truly astonishing.
We have all grown with the times and acquired a personal self-image. Our self-image is made up of many self-perceptions acquired during our formative years of growth. The people who play a significant role in our lives and become our role models mostly influence this self-image. The opinions of our parents, peer group and near and dear ones help in formulating our aspirations, ideals and values. If their demands are unrealistic and increasingly cumbersome, we may tend to suffer from a low opinion of our self. But if and when we are unable to live up to our ideal self, or when our aspirations and others’ expectations prove to be excessive or unrealistic, it is more appropriate for us to modify our ideal self as a way of furthering our self-esteem.
It is also necessary to check on your own level of growth. To check on your perceptions, answer the following questionnaire, which is an exercise to measure the balance between your self-image and your real self.
Scoring Procedure
Here are 10 items that represent your self-image. Make two separate columns, one for self-image and the other for an ideal image.
Write the score for the self-image (that is, what you actually are) in the Self-image column. Then answer this questionnaire once again and, in the Ideal Image column, write down what people expected of you. Consult the scoring key at the end of the questionnaire.
1. I am a self-centred person.
a. Never
b. Sometimes
c. Always
2. I need to be assured. I have a strong need for approval time and again.
a. Never
b. Sometimes
c. Always
3. I take life too easy.
a. Never
b. Sometimes
c. Always
4. I am over-anxious. My anxiety hampers my growth.
a. Never
b. Sometimes
c. Always
5. I consider myself superior to others.
a. Never
b. Sometimes
c. Always
6. I don’t mind being dishonest (like accepting and giving bribes). I believe in moving with the fow.
a. Never
b. Sometimes
c. Always
7. I don’t mind exploiting the female status to my advantage.
a. Never
b. Sometimes
c. Always
8. I am tongue-tied in a group.
a. Never
b. Sometimes
c. Always
9. I am over-ambitious.
a. Never
b. Sometimes
c. Always
10. Everyone dislikes me because they feel I come on too strongly.
a. Never
b. Sometimes
c. Always
Scoring Key
For every question you answered ‘a’, give yourself 5 points. For every question you answered ‘b’, give yourself 2 points. And for every ‘c’ answer, give yourself 0 points.
After you have awarded marks in both columns, add them up in each column separately. What you have before you is your real self-image and your ideal image. Now find out the difference between the sums of the two columns. This difference is the deciding factor as to how far you have been able to achieve what was expected of you in life.
Interpretation
Score in each column
Between 30 and 50 marks: An ideal score. You have great values in life. Although you may be an idealistic person, you have your feet firmly planted on the ground.
Between 10 and 30 marks: Your values in life are certainly different from the usual norms. But you are a practical person. And a practical person never loses any battle in life.
Between 0 and 10 marks: You are here for all the wrong reasons! You need to do a thorough overhaul of all the traits you have acquired over the years.
Score for the difference in both the columns’ sums
Score – 30 and above: It indicates a low correspondence between your self-image and an ideal image. High ideals were expected of you, naturally. Unfortunately, you could not fulfil them. However, a high score difference in your real image and ideal image does not necessarily mean that you have problems. It only indicates that people around you need to be more realistic.
Score – below 30: It indicates a high correspondence balance between your self-image and ideal image. This indicates that you are living an idealistic life and have groomed yourself in ways that others appreciate. You have all the qualities of adjustment and will grow manifold in life.
My Personality
Sometimes you find yourself in tricky situations so different from everyday life. At such times, you are at a loss and cannot decide on what course