Out of the Depths: Your Companion Through Addiction
By Peter Ferguson and James E. Hightower
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About this ebook
The Out of the Depths series addresses common pastoral crises in a faithful, encouraging, and factual manner that provides support to parishioners in crisis beyond the initial pastoral conversation. These inexpensive 64-page booklets can be given out to parishioners when they bring their recent diagnosis, crisis, or trauma to the pastor as a way to continue to provide care throughout the difficult season. Each booklet begins with a thoughtful consideration of the topic at hand, which is followed up by 30 brief devotions. These devotions are designed to be manageable in an overwhelming time, encouraging, and honest. This Addictionedition, co-authored by Jim Hightower and Peter Ferguson, is appropriate for both individuals experiencing addiction and their family and friends. The Out of the Depths booklets are essential care resources to be given out by pastors, Stephen Ministers, and congregational care teams.
Key Features:
Written by metal health professionals and pastors to help the reader process their trauma both psychologically and theologically.
Includes accessible material describing the dynamics of the crisis situation and typical reactions, which provides the reader with a sense of grounding and direction through increased knowledge.
The thirty short devotions creates a sense of companionship and hope in a difficult and lonely time.
Knowing they are sharing a resource written by mental health professionals and pastors with personal experience provides pastors a trustworthy source of information.
Easy for pastors/churches to keep in stock and distribute as needed, serves as a tangible reminder of the faith community's care.
Peter Ferguson
Peter Ferguson, who did the illustrations for this book, is a disagreeable young man who lurks in a dusty corner of the hamlet Montreal, not far from the Arctic Circle. His favorite phrase is "You can't make me."
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Out of the Depths - Peter Ferguson
INTRODUCTION
Today you only have to read the newsfeed on your phone, watch the news or reality shows on television, or listen to the radio to know how pervasive substance abuse is, not only in the US but worldwide. The story of addiction becomes much more real for most of us because of our personal stories of addiction. Whether we suffer from an addiction or not, nearly everyone’s life is touched by the addiction of a relative or friend. We know the monster of addiction can be deadly. This is a crisis of epidemic proportions, and it is growing.
Still, there is hope, and you are holding a small symbol of it in your hand. Whether it is your addiction or that of a loved one that has caused you to read this little book, we thank you for allowing us to walk with you on this journey of self-exploration and pray that, if need be, you may—perhaps—experience a change in attitude or habits. In these pages, you will find helpful information about addiction and honest and faithful words about the journey through it. Some of the stories may resonate with you; others will not. Take what works for you and leave the rest. And remember, you are not alone. We are honored to serve as your companions through addiction.
Grace and peace,
James Hightower & Peter Ferguson
Chapter One
UNDERSTANDING & RECOGNIZING ADDICTION
WHAT IS ADDICTION?
If you have attempted to stop drinking, using drugs, or engaging in other addictive behaviors without help (or even with help!), you know how difficult it can be. By this time you may believe you are weak and be haunted by thoughts like, If I were only stronger I could beat this thing.
You may believe by now you just come from bad seed
and are cursed to lose your health, family, financial security, standing in the community, and more. The shame cycle of addiction can be crushing.
Let’s be clear: addiction is not about being weak or immoral. You may have disregarded your families, friends, and responsibilities in service to your addiction. You may have lied to keep the addiction going. You may have done some really bad things to acquire the drugs you are addicted to. You may have compromised your own moral compass in your addiction. You may even have robbed or sold your body just to get the fix your body was telling you it needed. Doing bad things does not make you a bad person.
Addiction is a brain disease. The nature of this brain disease is that the addiction to particular drug(s) or behavior(s) takes over your life, becoming your focus throughout each day. The addiction becomes more important than your partner, children, extended family, work, or reputation. It involves compulsive behavior that is incredibly hard to control. You do things you never thought you would or that you don’t know why you are doing. The nature of addiction kicks the addicted person’s self-esteem into the gutter. But you (or your loved one) is more than your (or their) addiction. You (and they) are a beloved child of God who suffers from a particular kind of illness. That doesn’t make you any less loved or lovable.
When addicted, your brain and body become dependent on a certain substance and the chemical release associated with its ingestion or consumption. As your body becomes used to and then dependent on these chemicals, it needs more and more to achieve the same high, thus fueling the cycle of addiction. With many substances, once your body because accustomed to them, it becomes unable to function properly without them, triggering physical withdrawal symptoms such as shakes
It is also possible to be addicted to a behavior or set of behaviors. Such addictions are called process addictions.
For the first time, in the recent 5th Edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, gambling is listed as an addictive disorder.¹ The essential quality of the addiction is that the gambling is uncontrolled and like the other addictions makes life unmanageable. Other process addictions include (but are not limited to) eating disorders, self-harm/cutting, pornography, and compulsive shopping.
THE ADDICTIVE PERSONALITY
Over the years of working with people who are addicted to a substance or activity and in working with my own addictive tendencies, I have found several personality traits that are characteristic of persons with addictions. Of course, not everyone who becomes addicted displays these traits, but they are more common in the addicted population.
Low self-esteem: Feeling inadequate is a common human experience. Getting through day-to-day life can be especially difficult when you have trouble thinking of yourself as worthy of love and success. Many people use coping skills to overcome this gap, but with an addicted personality, turning to drugs and/or alcohol becomes the easy way out. One of the miracles of 12-Step programs is learning to live life on life’s terms
rather than taking the easy way out.
Though it is somewhat counter-intuitive, low self-esteem can also manifest itself as narcissism. Narcissists believe, usually unconsciously, that they can protect themselves from feelings of low self-esteem by acting as if (and attempting to convince themselves and those around them that) they are the center of the universe.
All-or-nothing thinking: People prone to addiction tend to think in black and white terms, with little tolerance for gray or ambiguity. Thinking or talking in extreme terms limits the broad experience of emotions and possibility. Very rarely is anything (or anyone) all good
or all bad.
Lack of nuanced thinking or emotions can lead to hopelessness, resignation, intolerance, and an inability to