The Invisible Girl & God
By LIN TILLMAN
()
About this ebook
As a child, born into an abusive/dysfunctional family environment, Lin Tillman became The Invisible Girl who received GOD's inspiration. However, from her father's verbal and physical abuse, she still had poor self-esteem into her mid-thirties. Lin thought she had escaped her painful beginnings, by making academic strides, but her Emotional Foundation (Inner-Child Self) lacked true parental LOVE. Unfortunately this plagued her subconscious with no glimmer of having a meaningful successful career or significant loving relationship. With this always felt out of her grasp, she withstood one failure after another until the major disappointment took place, the ultimate unrequited love..
Negative thoughts and feelings about herself increasingly deepened until they spiraled out of control. Her emotional state collapsed with a full-fledged mental breakdown that became so entrenched that she fell into the darkest hole of "Reactive Depression." As suicidal ideations began to fester, she tried to medically heal. Unsuccessful with that attempt, she soon reunited with her childhood Father in Heaven. With his GODly guidance, she was led to create her Re-Parent with SELF LOVE process (contained in this book), that healed her to the very core.
Catapulted into a new reality of good emotional wellbeing with good self-esteem, she soon felt very motivated to find her purpose in life. Also transformed from negativity to positivity, every effort to achieve success became an option, described in her autobiography. Restored for 28 years, she continues to remain motivated and positive, as she still works on her passion to write. She is sharing The Invisible Girl & GOD as her legacy, so everyone who utilizes her Re-Parent with SELF LOVE Process can also GET MORE THAN THEY ASK FOR, like she did.
Do you feel like you live in a life of Hell? Do you feel this could have come from the beginnings of a dysfunctional family system? Do you feel this has led to your failures in life? Have you only sustained negative experiences from losses or cruel experiences during adulthood? Have you tried to avoid the brainwashing attempts of a fearful and angry world? Would you like to avoid the inevitable ability of this world to destroy you? Would you like to avoid or abolish your own feelings of depression or poor self-esteem? Whatever the circumstance, just KNOW that YOU TOO can overcome what ails your emotional state. You no longer have to allow the control and influences of others to guide your future. Instead, you alone can strengthen or even restore your positive belief system; one that can be your very own.
The ability to achieve your own life of positive self-growth can be yours. Just follow the 12 Steps of the SELF Love process. YOU TOO, can erode your negative belief system, like Lin Tillman did, and restore your positive natural-born sense of emotional wellbeing and good self-esteem. YOU TOO can acquire a newly enhanced positive world of change, that can liberate you from what holds you back. YOU TOO can discover your own talents and abilities to accomplish socially acceptable goals.
Whatever your views on spirituality and/or religion, Parental SELF LOVE can help you achieve purpose and success in life. YOU TOO can also make meaningful contributions to this planet in a healthy way.
Related to The Invisible Girl & God
Related ebooks
The Great Awakening Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsConcealed Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWho's Gonna Love Me Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBeauty From My Ashes Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTHE INNER CITY CONCRETE JUNGLE: TRYING TO FLY WITH ONE WING Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFrom Fractured to Fulfilled HOME Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDon't Repeat My Secrets: Overcoming a Life of Trauma Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhy I Stayed. Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDon’t Forget to Be Light Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFrom the Heart of the Spirit Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWalk Through Fire: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Triumph Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsOnce an Atheist Forever a Christian Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Mad, Bitter, Angry, Saved, Hurt, & Restored Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhy Didn't You Tell Anyone? Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDaddy's Baby, Mama's Maybe: I Am Not My Conception Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHushed Cries: Healing is Found in the Choices You Make Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Mother's Heart Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMy Flight to Freedom: The Uncut Truth Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSurviving Mother Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Bruises from my Mother's Love Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Revived from Spiritual Unconsciousness: Facing a Generational Curse Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhen A Lifetime Seems Like Forever... Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsInside the Mind of the Black Sheep of the Family Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Journey of an Abused Child: A Story of Abuse, Triumph, and Forgiveness Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMake Me the Moon: Coming Out of the Darkness of Abuse Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTwenty-One Traumas Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Accidental Entrepreneur: Turning Tragedy into Triumph to Embrace my Destiny in Entrepreneurship Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Sun Is Always Shining: A Story of Adversity Turned to Triumph Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsVictim to Victor: Rising from the Pit of Abuse Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRisen from the Pit of Abuse Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Psychology For You
Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Source: The Secrets of the Universe, the Science of the Brain Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5101 Fun Personality Quizzes: Who Are You . . . Really?! Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Win Friends and Influence People: Updated For the Next Generation of Leaders Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Art of Witty Banter: Be Clever, Quick, & Magnetic Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Art of Letting Go: Stop Overthinking, Stop Negative Spirals, and Find Emotional Freedom Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Becoming Bulletproof: Protect Yourself, Read People, Influence Situations, and Live Fearlessly Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5What Every BODY is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed-Reading People Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5It Starts with Self-Compassion: A Practical Road Map Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5F*ck Feelings: One Shrink's Practical Advice for Managing All Life's Impossible Problems Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for Self-Discovery Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Self-Care for People with ADHD: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Prioritize You! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5ADHD: A Hunter in a Farmer's World Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Your Brain's Not Broken: Strategies for Navigating Your Emotions and Life with ADHD Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Changes That Heal: Four Practical Steps to a Happier, Healthier You Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: the heartfelt, funny memoir by a New York Times bestselling therapist Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist: The Narcissism Series, #1 Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression – and the Unexpected Solutions Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Reviews for The Invisible Girl & God
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
The Invisible Girl & God - LIN TILLMAN
THE INVISIBLE GIRL & GOD
––––––––
A True Story
––––––––
My Emotional Health Restored!
Learn How I Re-Parented Myself with SELF LOVE
––––––––
By
––––––––
Lin Tillman
Copyright © 2017;2018 by Lin Tillman All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted material in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
TITLE
COPYRIGHT
CHAPTER 1
MY DYSFUNCTIONAL CHILDHOOD
CHAPTER 2
MY EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN
CHAPTER 3
MY LITTLE GIRL INSIDE
CHAPTER 4
DISCLAIMER - YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.
CHAPTER 5
12 STEPS TO MY RE-PARENT PROCESS
CHAPTER 6
I GOT MORE THAN I ASKED FOR!
CHAPTER 7
WHY DOES RE-PARENTING SELF WORK?
CHAPTER 8
GOD LED ME TO HEAL DEPRESSION
CHAPTER 9
MY EDUCATIONAL FOUNDATION
CHAPTER 10
SOCIAL FACTORS CAUSE DEPRESSION
CHAPTER 11
HEALING TO MY CELLULAR STRUCTURES
CHAPTER 12
POOR SELF-ESTEEM INFLUENCES SOCIETY
CHAPTER 13
A WAY TO CREATE PARENTAL PRIVILEDGE?
CHAPTER 14
MY TRUTH IS GOD’S TRUTH
CHAPTER 15
PSYCHOTHERAPY VS. RE-PARENTING SELF
CHAPTER 16
MY BIOGRAPHY
CHAPTER 17
MY LEGACY
CHAPTER 18
MY DEDICATION & ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
CHAPTER 19
MY PARENTAL APPRECIATION
CHAPTER 20
MY QUOTES FROM THE POWER OF SELF LOVE
CHAPTER 21
CREATING PARENTAL SELF LOVE MESSAGES
CHAPTER 1
MY DYSFUNCTIONAL CHILDHOOD
I did not choose a violent, abusive, alcoholic father to raise me. Instead, I received his unwanted verbal and physical abuse. I also saw similar abuse imposed on my immediate family members. My mother endured the most harm from my father. I endured the second-most harm and I saw the third-most harm endured by my baby brother. But, I never witnessed my sister endure any harm from my father.
With two daughters, seven and 9-years-old in the household, my mother gave birth to a son. Most expected my father to be ecstatic upon his first son's arrival into the world, but he called him the accident. And, it’s unfortunate, my father subjected my baby brother to his rage at the tender age of one. With sadness, I recall how the poor, little toddler cried from his high chair. My father’s angry, loud mouth had disturbed him with its tone at the dinner table. My father responded in anger and slapped his face. His little son’s hysteria had irritated him. I still remember how that assault made him cry harder. That became my father’s cue to go after me or my mother, whether to beat her or spank me. I guess, in my father’s perverted mind, he thought he could quiet the child.
Naïve and vulnerable herself to my father's tyrannical behavior, my mother lived in denial. My mother could not stop my father's violence, to protect us from physical assaults. I remember her cries for him to stop, so I cannot blame her for the lack of safety in my home. And without the tools of childhood education and development, my mother had no model of how to promote a healthy family environment. She was as most mothers in the mid 1960’s, and did what her culture dictated: Persevere the marriage for the sake of the children. Our family mantra dictated: To be a good wife, you must NOT be a troublemaker and sacrifice for the marriage to work.
Divorce was not an option in my family. My mother’s side of the family frowned on any mention of separating the family. Although I know divorce existed back then as an escape route for any failed marriage, many wives avoided it. Broken families were not condoned, no matter what religion. I am sure family and marriage counseling was available back then for those who could afford it. I am thankful for its availability today.
I know my mother knew our family environment was not good. I’m sure she wanted to escape it, but with three children to raise I’m sure she felt paralyzed to make that decision. I guess she wanted to appear as the good wife who did not make waves to further disrupt the family environment. Besides if my father left, how would she support us? Naïve, she tolerated the chaos my father created daily. With reluctance she continued to endure my father’s physical and emotional abuse. He was relentless with his tyrannical, sick behavior. For a few more years, he continued to beat and curse my mother out. I think he enjoyed it. It probably gave him a sense of power. Maybe that is why he continued to spank me and call me names.
Until I was 15-years-old, I don’t think my mother realized the psychological trauma imposed upon me. If she did, I guess she might have tried harder to stop it. I do not believe my mother expected her marriage to my father meant I would be emotionally attacked daily. Although the physical abuse started at the age of 8-years-old, the verbal abuse began around this time.
My mother met my father as a service man in the United States Army. She had first written him by way of an introduction from his father, my grandfather. With his European address and uniformed photograph in hand, my mother was eager to communicate with the handsome man who could show her the world. After a few love letters, their romance blossomed. It was not long before she fell in love with the Army Sergeant. Stationed overseas, my mother had no idea what emotional harm the Korean War imposed upon the man she loved. By the time my mother met my father in the United States, I think PTSD simmered insidiously below the surface. My mother said his behavior remained under control until one day when he exploded into violent behavior. I suppose it built like a ticking time bomb. Back then, she said there was no mention of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Until recent times, it had not been defined as an emotional injury caused by war times or head injuries. And, with marriage to a military man considered an honor in the early 1950s, my mother had not considered my father’s post-war mental health. With no warning to her of what brewed beneath the surface of her man, they finally met in the United States. After a short courtship, he proposed. In love with my father, she accepted his hand in marriage.
Still in the dark to my father’s ability to inflict rage and harm on anyone, my mother became further enchanted with my father. They exchanged wedding vows and the guests threw rice, before they entered their Just Married vehicle. Everyone waved goodbye, before my mother got her first dose of my father’s intoxicated, poor judgement. Instead of a calm drive to the airport to begin their honeymoon, my father’s erratic behavior surfaced. That evening, after he ran several red lights for fun, they spent their first marriage night in jail. I am sure my mother's excitement about her marriage had lessened that night.
Overtime, my mother had learned to tolerate my father’s rage, as she never spoke about it. Family secrets became the norm. We kept any unhappiness at bay. No one was to admit discord or failure within our homes. A happy family environment became an illusion to be maintained. So, my father’s abusive behavior continued in our unhappy home. Our unspoken mantra was to Display unreal happiness and keep your mouth shut. It sounds perverted, doesn’t it?
I believe my mother’s world of denial about my father’s behavior, gave her the strength to withstand social events. Her irrational will to live with an abusive man is probably what caused her to tell happy stories about our home life. The stories became more elaborate with time. Only harmony was to be detected in our home. Her main goal was to avoid any detection of unhappiness within our home. So, she continued to make creative excuses to not be present during family gatherings. She was determined not to expose any signs of her battered face or body. At least, the ones she could not coverup with makeup.
I do not recall battered women organizations back then. There was also no mention for my father to attend AA (Alcoholics Anonymous). I know it started in the 1930s. I can only guess, no one in my family circle knew of AA or family counseling, because no one spoke about it. Or, did my extended family choose not to get involved? Maybe they turned a blind eye to what happened in my home? To this day, I do not recall any mention of alcoholic abuse or vulgarity in any home. It seemed strange that violence