Louisiana Plays

Copyright © 1998 by Hiram Ed Taylor.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

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Contents

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

AUTHOR’S

INTRODUCTION

PROPHECY

ACT ONE

SCENE ONE

SCENE TWO

SCENE THREE

SCENE Four

ACT TWO

SCENE ONE

SCENE TWO

SCENE THREE

SCENE FOUR

SCENE FIVE

SAVAGE

ACT ONE

SCENE ONE

SCENE Two

ACT TWO

SCENE ONE

SCENE TWO

SCENE THREE

SCENE FOUR

SCENE FIVE

SCENE SIX

SCENE SEVEN

SCENE EIGHT

BOURBON STREET A NEW MUSICALa

ACT ONE

SCENE ONE

BOURBON STREET

SCENE TWO

A STRIP JOINT ON BOURBON STREET

SCENE THREE

BOURBON STREET

SCENE fOUR

Bobby’s bedroom

SCENE FIVE

A HOTEL ROOM ON THE SECOND FLOOR

SCENE SIX

The balcony of a hotel

SCENE SEVEN

BOBBY’S BEDROOM

SCENE EIGHT

LIGHTS UP—THE HOTEL ROOM—LATER

SCENE NINE

The kitchen of Bobby’s parents house.

SCENE TEN

THE BALCONY OF

THE HOTEL ROOM.

SCENE ELEVEN

Lights up on the strip joint

SCENE TWELVE

BOURBON STREET AT DAWN

ACT TWO

SCENE THIRTEEN

The same hotel room

SCENE FOURTEEN

BOURBON STREET AT SUNRISE.

SCENE FIFTEEN

INSIDE THE GAY BAR

SCENE SIXTEEN

ON BOURBON STREET

SCENE SEVENTEEN

KITCHEN OF BOBBY’S PARENTS HOUSE

SCENE EIGHTEEN

THE BALCONY OF THE HOTEL

SCENE NINETEEN

ALLISON’S APARTMENT

SCENE TWENTY

IN THE GAY BAR

HEAVEN’S BAR AN ORIGINAL

MUSICAL COMEDY

(EVERYMAN)

(A GREAT PIECE.)

(THE SAGA OF JOY:)

(BOURBON AND BLUES.)

(A SMALL MISTAKE.)

(ALONE TOM)

ACT TWO

(I AM THE GIRL)

(I’VE BEEN ON A YACHT)

(THE TOAST OF ALL CONTIENTS.)

(THE VALUE OF GOOD P.R..)

(THE COURT OF EMPEROR PING)

(THE SKIN OF MY TEETH.)

(REACHING FOR THAT STAR*)

OTHER PLAYS BY: Hiram Ed Taylor

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Nothing is created without the support of others, especially theater. Plays are written to be performed by actors, interpreted by directors, produced by producers and watched by live audiences Without these elements is a play really a play? Yes, for first there must be a script.

I wish to thank Ann Marie Guidry, James Jennings, Lauren and Jerry Lee Leighton for their performances in PROPHECY at the Contemporary Arts Center. They helped define the play and perfect the characters.

Special thanks to all members of the Contemporary Arts Center’s playwrights unit without whose special criticism and help these plays would not have been completed.

Without Paul Freitas comic music and editorial comments for the book and lyrics to HEAVEN’S BAR, as well as the lyrics to Reaching for that star; the project would never have developed into the crazy entertainment that it is currently.

And what can I say to Irwin Decker, my composer for BOURBON STREET. Deck, as I knew him by, was an incredible composer, classically trained and brimming with talent and enthusiasm for the broadway musical form. That he died of AIDS IN 1998 without ever seeing the show performed on a stage breaks my heart. At the time of his death he was completing the orchestrations for a 28 piece orchestra, which are incredible and yet remain unplayed. I cry each time I listen to the tape of him playing the songs and singing my lyrics because his death was such a loss to the American theatre and to his friends. Dear beloved, Kevin Elkins continues to work for a production of BOURBON STREET in memory of Deck and Kevin I salute you and your determination.

I want to thank my parents who have always encouraged me to be myself, to write what I feel is important and not aim for commercial success but personal fulfillment. Their love has seen me through hundreds of rejection slips and harsh reviews.

Last I want to thank all the theaters who have produced my work. The producers who risked money, directors and actors who gave their time and talents and the audiences who watched, laughed, cried and supported my plays. Theater is a collaborative effort and all of you are my collaborators.

AUTHOR’S

INTRODUCTION

I am often asked by my professional theater friends in New York and Hollywood what I have been up to since retiring to New Orleans in 1992. Actually, I have done anything but retire. Since moving here I have been writing at a steady pace, scripts that I think are as good or better than anything I have written in my 35 years of writing for the stage. That none of the plays have been produced is not to judge them as bad. Not having an agent at the present time has more to do with their being overlooked than anything else. Also, having been a director and having run my own theater companies in both Manhattan and Los Angeles helped to get my other scripts produced. New Orleans is a great place to write. It is a terrible place to get an original script produced. The only theaters here are community theaters with a history of doing famous Broadway musicals and Neil Simon. They show no interest in new plays by local writers at all.

I quit sending scripts to regional theaters and play contest many years ago. It cost lots of postage and never amounted to a production. The only productions I have ever had came from who I knew. People who knew me and knew my work and asked me to write for their theater, or saw a production of mine and wanted to do the play at their theater. I am grateful for them. Most of them are dead and gone now, retired or no longer speaking to me for one reason or another. I have no place to send these plays and so I have decided to publish them as a group, to be read by my friends who are interested in seeing what my last efforts have been.

When writing my will, I was told by the lawyer that my plays were worthless. No need to list them at all since none of them are famous or published. He said after I die, my relatives might as well burn them or I could do it now and save them the time. It seemed sad to me to think that for 35 years I have slaved at a typewriter or wordprocessor to find out now that all of the work was basically worthless because it was not successful enough. Each of my 37 plays or musicals has been very dear to me, the characters as real to me as children I have birthed and sent forth into the world. I guess I wrote them because they demanded to get out of me and onto the paper. Some of them I wrote for specific actors who embraced them wholeheartedly and others have never seen the light of day or been uttered aloud. Pity, for they were all written to be alive on a stage and to be enjoyed by an audience. If I have failed at anything it has not been in the writing but in the selling of my plays. I hate show business, I love theater. I hate working a party or networking the crowd, I enjoy meeting interesting people and having intelligent discussions. I enjoy my life. I enjoyed writing these plays. I hope you enjoy reading them. And maybe one day they will be on a stage where they belong.

Ed Taylor

PROPHECY

A COMEDY BY:

Hiram Ed Taylor

Copyright 1999

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Cast of Characters:

CLAYTON BURNBECK:

A man in mid-life crisis

MADAM OWIGA

a fortune teller

PENNY DUSHAY

Clayton’s girlfriend

JACKSON, PLEADY, MEL & BOB

Same actor, 4 roles

PLACE:

New Orleans

TIME:

Tomorrow or the Next day

SETTINGS

Non-realistic fragments of places

ACT ONE

SCENE ONE

A foggy night at Jackson Square in front of Saint Louis Cathedral, French Quarter of New Orleans, Louisiana. A statue of Andrew Jackson riding his horse is seen.

MADAM OWIGA sits behind a folding table with a crystal ball on it. A hand painted sign in front of the table reads MADAM OWIGA—MYSTIC TO THE UNIVERSAL POWERS. FORTUNES TOLD $20. She wears old Mardi Gras robes with a feather headdress.

CLAYTON BURNBECK stumbles on, drunk and staggering. His business suit is a mess with his tie loose and his shirt unbuttoned.

Owiga calls to him.

OWIGA

Wait! You there!

(Clayton turns)

CLAYTON

Me?

OWIGA

This is your lucky night. I can see it in the ball. The spirits have guided you to me.

CLAYTON

Spirits? What spirits? What ball?

OWIGA

The magic crystal ball of Owiga’s spiritual power. I can see into your future. There it is, right there.

(She points into the crystal ball he comes over and looks.)

CLAYTON

Where?

OWIGA

20 bucks.

CLAYTON

20 bucks?

OWIGA

Okay, okay… for you fifteen.

(He goes through his pockets and they are empty, so is his wallet.)

MasterCard or Visa?

(He pulls out a credit card and she pulls out her machine and does the paper work, he signs.)

CLAYTON

This better be good.

(She stares at the ball )

OWIGA

The mist is clearing. Oh, yes, yes. Now I can see it. You’re on a path. Searching. You seem lost. Confused. Am I right? Am I wrong? Speak to Owiga.

(She waits for an answer

Her looks at her blankly.)

CLAYTON

Lost? Uh, what do ya mean, lost lady?

OWIGA

Madam. I am a madam, not a lady.

CLAYTON

Sorry.

(She looks back at the ball)

OWIGA

I see romance coming into your life. Maybe love.

CLAYTON

Oh, god. I hope not. I’m still paying for the last time.

OWIGA

Divorced, huh? Well, I see a new woman.

CLAYTON

I already got a steady girl. She’s more than I can handle.

OWIGA

She’s tall…

CLAYTON

Short.

OWIGA

Tallish short. With dark hair.

CLAYTON

She’s blond.

OWIGA

It’s bleached.

CLAYTON

Really?

OWIGA

Black roots. Owiga sees. Owiga knows all. You’re thinking marriage maybe?

CLAYTON

It’s nothing serious.

OWIGA

To her it is serious, but we forget the romance. Something else is coming, something more important. Wait. It’s clearing. Yes. Yes. The mist is clearing. Money. I see money.

CLAYTON

Money?

(Suddenly Andrew Jackson comes to life and speaks.)

JACKSON

Quit the bullshit, madam. Tell him what you really know.

OWIGA

Oh my god!

JACKSON

He’s waiting.

(Only Owiga hears Jackson

Clayton looks into the ball.)

CLAYTON

What? What do you see?

OWIGA

Andrew Jackson over there…

CLAYTON

Yeah, so?

JACKSON

He cannot hear me.

OWIGA

You cannot hear him?

CLAYTON

Who?

OWIGA

Andrew Jackson. Right there!

CLAYTON

He’s been riding that horse for over a hundred years.

JACKSON

I’m here to guide you.

OWIGA

A guide. He is a guide.

CLAYTON

A guide for me? From the other side?

OWIGA

The other side of where?

(She realizes his meaning.)

Oh, you mean from the other side. Yes, yes, he’s here from the other side here with a message.

(To Jackson)

You do have a message don’t you?

JACKSON

Yes, but a message for you, Madam, not him.

OWIGA

For me?

CLAYTON

What is it? What do you see? Tell me. You said money. You see money?

JACKSON

Let the voice come through you, Owiga.

(She looks at the ball.)

You don’t need the ball. Open your mind. Let the spirits enter.

(Suddenly Owiga goes into a trance and her voice changes.)

OWIGA

Good evening. Wish to know your future, do you? Well, let me see, now. You worka in a larga glass building witha lotta modern equipment. It’s like a maze of people sitting at little cubicles, typing, typing endless, useless information…

CLAYTON

Useless information? Statistical data on…

(She cuts him off.)

OWIGA

Believe me, it is useless shit.

CLAYTON

The mayors Office of Vital Statistical Research is one of the most important government agencies in the city.

OWIGA

Pork barrel shit.

CLAYTON

How can you say anything we do there is not important?

OWIGA

For you it is no longer important. I see you leaving this place.

CLAYTON

Leaving? I can’t leave.

OWIGA

Ah, but you will.

CLAYTON

I’m on the 401K plan.

OWIGA

More shit.

CLAYTON

I have 22 more years, 6 months and 7 days before retirement.

OWIGA

No. You have 26 days before being fired.

CLAYTON

Fired! I have medical and dental. I have a mortgage to pay. Alimony and child support. I can’t get fired.

OWIGA

You will be fired Wednesday, noon, 26 days from today. Never to return again.

CLAYTON

This isn’t the future I want to hear. Tell me about the money.

OWIGA

You ask. I tell.

CLAYTON

But, what am I gonna do? Where and I gonna go?

OWIGA

Ah, you have a very exciting journey ahead.

CLAYTON

Journey?

OWIGA

Into the great beyond.

CLAYTON

I hate traveling. I have allergies. I didn’t pay to hear this crap.

OWIGA

Not crap. Truth. I am the spirit of Marie Leveau. I never tell crap. You aska me whata I see in your future and I tella you.

CLAYTON

Marie Laveau’s at the Voodoo Museum!

OWIGA

You willa leave this job like I say. You willa travel to another dimension in time.

CLAYTON

Can’t we get back to the money? You saw money.

OWIGA

Greedy little bastard! Yes, I see you counting your money over and over again, counting and counting. It obsesses you. But, there’s no money in this lifetime… only crap.

CLAYTON

No money?

OWIGA

I see much accumulation of useless crap, an apartment full of useless crap and entire life filled with useless, useless crap!

CLAYTON

All my collectibles?

OWIGA

Crap.

CLAYTON

My stocks and bonds?

OWIGA

Crap.

CLAYTON

Even my Tonka trucks?

OWIGA

All useless crap.

CLAYTON

But you saw money in the ball.

OWIGA

That piece of shit. Nothing in here.

CLAYTON

You saw something and now you’re not telling me about the money. What do I win the lottery? Publishers Clearing House.

OWIGA

Forget your search for money. You must search for who you really are. Inside.

CLAYTON

Inside? Inside where?

OWIGA

Your soul.

CLAYTON

My soul?

OWIGA

Your soul is ina great torment. You are nota whoma you semma to be.

CLAYTON

Then who am I?

OWIGA

You must seeka the answer to that question within yourself.

CLAYTON

Not a bunch of new age crap? Don’t tell me now your gonna try to sell me a book.

OWIGA

You must abandon everything for that one goal. Find yourself.

CLAYTON

Or a bunch of motivational tapes.

OWIGA

You must discover your life’s purpose and live your destiny. Everything else is illusion, the maya, a trapa.

CLAYTON

Maya Atrapa. Sounds like a striper I once knew on Bourbon Street. I’m not signing up for any seminar your teaching either, if that’s your next pitch. I know all about you new age bullshitters. Just give me the answer to what you saw in the ball the first time.

OWIGA

Stupid man. You are given the truth and you do not believe. Time will prove me right.

(The spirit leaves Owiga.)

CLAYTON

This is all bullshit!

(Owiga is herself again.

She is very excited.)

OWIGA

I have the power! Finally, I have the power. Like my mother before me, the voice has come through.

CLAYTON

Forget the phony voice. You saw money in my life from the ball. Look back into the ball damnit!

OWIGA

Screw the ball! A piece of shit that ball. No. Now, finally I have the power like my mother before me.

CLAYTON

So, what you told me is true?

OWIGA

Of course, true. It was a message from another realm of existence, another dimension. What more do you want from me?

CLAYTON

I can’t leave my job.

OWIGA

For months you have been saying over and over, please God, please get me out of this job? Right?

CLAYTON

I didn’t mean it.

OWIGA

Well, the universal power thought you