Preparing for the Journey Through Adolescence: A Handbook for Teens

Copyright © 2013 by Indira Gilbert.

ISBN:

Softcover   978-1-4797-0479-8

Ebook       978-1-4797-0480-4

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CONTENTS

LEARNING OUTCOMES

A NOTE TO TEENS

WHAT USED TO BE . . . .

SECTION A

INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER 1: UNDERSTANDING YOURSELF

CHAPTER 2: SOME OBSTACLES IN THE JOURNEY THROUGH ADOLESCENCE

CHAPTER 3: AREAS STRONGLY INFLUENCED BY PEERS

CHAPTER 4: OVERCOMING OBSTACLES IN THE JOURNEY THROUGH ADOLESCENCE

CHAPTER 5: PREPARING FOR THE WORLD OF WORK

CHAPTER 6: UNDERSTANDING YOUR PARENTS

CONCLUSION

SECTION B

SOME PRINCIPLES FOR THE LIFE

A LETTER TO BOYS

A LETTER TO GIRLS

SOUTH AFRICAN BILL OF RIGHTS

SOUTH AFRICAN CHILDREN’S RIGHTS

ACTS PROTECTING SOUTH AFRICAN CITIZENS

RESOURCES IN SOUTH AFRICA

BIBLOGRAPHY

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to all young people who read it. I sincerely hope that this book enables you to make wise decisions, and to avoid all the hurdles along the adolescent road. May the journey be an enjoyable one.

THE LEARNING OUTCOMES AS SET OUT

IN THE SOUTH AFRICAN SCHOOL

SYLLABUS FOR LIFE ORIENTATION

Learning Outcome 1—Personal well-being

Learning Outcome 2—Citizenship education

Learning Outcome 3—Recreation and Physical activity

Learning Outcome 4—Careers and career choices

A NOTE TO TEENS

Over the years, I have come to understand the merits of the following sayings:

‘Don’t be so open minded that your brains fall out.’     Unknown

‘If you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything.’     Unknown

‘Nobody drifts into success.’     Gopar

‘The direction in which education starts a man,

will determine his future life.’     Plato

The family and formal education previously had to a large extent worked together to produce a well—balanced citizen. In today’s society however, there seems to be a gap in the preparation for life: a new set of complications have arisen. Society is being faced with situations and circumstances which were rare, if not unknown, to previous generations. Many of these challenges are addressed in this book.

The family is experiencing extreme difficulty in coping with these challenges. Young people are often ill-informed and unprepared to make wholesome decisions. Educators frequently are expected to step in to take over the role from parents who for various reasons are no longer capable of performing what is required of them as parents. At the same time educators are expected not to impose any their values on the learner. They have also been stripped off any form of discipline or corrective measures in that most alternate forms of discipline do when analysed involve some form of so-called abuse—emotional or psychological.

Adolescents are therefore often left to their own devices to work out their own values. Adolescents who have not been adequately trained in the home and school and who are constantly being bombarded with negative values from the media and mixed values form society are being asked to work out their own values! These adolescents have a one-in-a-hundred chance of forming or adopting wholesome ones!

It is time for parents to once again take back their responsibility and become more aggressive in instilling wholesome values in their children. It is time for children to understand and accept that parents have only the best of their children at heart. Whatever parents do or say is in the best interests of their children. We are obviously not referring to parents who themselves are devious and criminal. They are the exceptions!

Parenting is no easy task especially in a society where children are credited with rights without accompanying responsibilities, and where parents for various reasons experience difficulty discussing certain topics with their children. This becomes even more difficult in the absence of a close parent-child relationship.

This book seeks to assist you as you journey through adolescence. It seeks to make you aware of the various challenges or obstacles that await you in the journey through adolescence. This book can be utilized in various ways:

-     It can be worked on as a ‘do-it-yourself’ manual. You may later together with your parents discuss the various topics addressed in the book.

-     Both parent and child can work through the book together. It does have food for thought for all, although it has been simplified for the pre-adolescent, and the adolescent. There is a complementary book available for parents.

-     It can be worked through in any group: family group, youth group, classroom, and peer group, etc.

-     It can be used as a reference book.

I am indeed glad to share in the process of making as many young people as possible informed about the issues that determine the quality of both their present life as adolescents and their future life as adults. I hope that this book meets your needs. It has been written from the heart! Having four children of my own, and having counselled many young people for over 30 years, I do (to some extent) understand the pressure and pain young people experience.

During 2004, the television news quoted one of the delegates at a world conference on AIDS as stating that we are losing the battle against AIDS. I believe that we can turn this around!

Thank you for allowing me to prepare you for this awesome though challenging journey through adolescence.

April 2012

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

WHAT USED TO BE . . . .

What used to be called Disgusting is now called Adult.

What used to be called Modesty is now called a Sexual Hang-up.

What used to be called Living in Sin is now

called a Meaningful Relationship.

What used to be called Good Discipline is now called Child Abuse.

What used to be called Chastity is now called Neurotic Inhibitions.

What used to be called Perversion is now called Alternate Lifestyle.

What used to be called Self-Indulgence is now called Self-fulfillment.

What used to be called Your Rights is now called Illegal Discrimination.

What used to be called Christian Values is now called Fundamentalism.

What used to be called Depravity is now called Creative Self-Expression.

What used to be called Moral Irresponsibility

is now called Being Freed Up.

(Anonymous)

SECTION A

INTRODUCTION

Adolescence is becoming an increasingly difficult phase of life or stage of development in the continuum of life. This is possibly due to modernization which is characterized by information-overload, mechanization, society becoming increasingly alienated, and the value of the traditional family as a unit being undermined.

We are living in the ‘age of the computer’—information is available at the… . press of a button. One is bombarded with more than what one is able to cope with. The natural response is… . withdrawal or avoidance.

We communicate, even to family members, in a mechanical way. Telephone calls have replaced the face-to-face visits, and subsequently emails have replaced the warm voices of the family members over the telephone.

With the population having grown rapidly, the individual is becoming increasingly alienated. Surrounded by material possessions, individuals are being deprived of warm, human relationships. Nobody seems to have the time to care anymore: we are caught up in developing the self or in being too busy acquiring more possessions for a ‘better’ lifestyle.

The traditional role of the family was to rear its children (off-spring) in preparation for adulthood. This entailed discipline which included leading, teaching, and correcting. This most definitely requires time and patience which working parents can ill afford. The family is therefore being stripped off this function and merely provides for the physical well-being of its members.

Adolescence is that phase of life which should be enjoyed to the fullest. For with it come many opportunities for new learning, fun and excitement without the accompanying responsibilities of adulthood.

Young person, enjoy this opportunity while you have it. You will never have this opportunity again. It is unique to adolescence! Do not rush into the next phase of life. Many young people skip this phase by accepting premature responsibility of marriage and/or a family. The phase of marriage and family responsibility awaits everyone—you will have your turn!

Although much fun, freedom and excitement comes with adolescence, you must assume responsibility for your actions. Adolescence is training ground for later adult life. Adult life is about responsibility. When we as citizens assume responsibility for our actions, freedom and safety abides for all.

Adulthood brings with it not only responsibility for ones-self, but also responsibility for others: spouse and children. That phase awaits you!

I would like to take you on a journey through adolescence, understanding all the obstacles en route, and strategizing with you as to how to overcome these obstacles in order to experience a peaceful, exciting, and memorable journey.

By the end of our trip, I hope that you will be equipped and ready to steer your ship on your own, and when you do come across the obstacles, you will know exactly how to steer clear of them.

CHAPTER ONE

UNDERSTANDING YOURSELF

Learning Outcome 1—Personal well-being

Full potential

Function effectively

Interpersonal relationships

Community & society

Self concept

Emotional literacy

Social competency

Life skills

Peer pressure

Relationships

Being a parent

Learning Outcome 3—Recreation and Physical activity

Health and exercise

Understanding yourself—your personality, your abilities, your potential, your strengths and your limitations—forms the basis of your ability to function to your potential. It is in understanding and accepting yourself that enables you to relate more effectively to the world around you. This will facilitate your living life to the maximum.

The Self

Components of the Self

1. The Physical Self

The physical self refers to the physical body. The physical body comprises both internal and the external parts. I would like to take some time and together with you, look at the basic mechanisms of the body. We are not on a biology lesson: rather we will briefly look at the various body systems and how they function to meet our physical needs.

The External Body

The external body comprises the five sensory organs; ears, eyes, mouth (tongue), nose, and skin (touch), together with your hands, legs, head, hair, neck, chest, and genitals. The external body is visible.

The Internal Body

The internal body is not visible but can be seen and studied by science with the use of scientific equipment. The internal body is made up of various organs meaningfully grouped together to form functional systems. So the internal body is basically made up of systems. We will very briefly look at the nine body systems and their functions.

>> The Skeletal System

•     The skeletal system is made up of 206 bones.

•     The bones are linked other bones at the joints.

•     As the bones grow longer and larger, the individual grows taller and bigger.

Functions of the Skeletal System

•     The skeletal system gives the body shape.

•     Together with the muscles, the skeletal system allows for movement.

•     The skeletal system protects the vital internal organs e.g. the heart, lungs, the brain, etc.

Care of the Skeletal System

•     Exercise both builds the bones and keeps the bones strong.

•     Foods rich in calcium e.g. dairy products build the bones.

•     Coffee draws out the calcium from the bones.

•     Nicotine from cigarettes makes the bone weak and brittle, and slows down the process of both the healing of broken bones, and the process of bone cell production.

>> The Digestive System

•     The digestive system comprises the mouth (with the teeth, tongue, and saliva), the oesophagus (food-pipe or gullet), the stomach, the small intestine and the large intestine.

•     The whole digestive system is a 9-metre long tube.

•     The body produces 1.7 litres of saliva every day.

•     The capacity of the stomach is 1.5 litres.

Functions of the Digestive System

•     The teeth bite and breakdown the food into smaller portions

•     The saliva softens the food.

•     The tongue rolls the chewed food into ‘balls’ which aids in the swallowing of the food.

•     The stomach acts like an electric liquidizer, crushing up the food into pulp.

•     The stomach secretes important juices (enzymes) which assist in the breaking down of the food.

•     The food pulp then enters the small intestine where the digestible pulp is absorbed into the bloodstream through the walls of the small intestine.

•     The food that cannot be digested passes into the large intestine.

Care of the Digestive System

•     Chew foods properly to aid the digestive process.

•     Bite small portions of food which can be chewed properly.

•     Do not overeat. Large amounts of food slow down the ability of the stomach to process the foods.

•     Eat brown rather than white flour products. White flour becomes sticky and adheres to the walls of the small intestine causing infections.

•     Bran helps clean out the digestive tract.

•     Drink plenty of water.

•     Exercise assists the digestive process.

>> c) The Respiratory System

•     The respiratory system comprises the nose, the windpipe (trachea), the bronchi, the lungs and the capillaries.

•     The normal breathing rate is 12-15 times a minute. The breathing rate increases as activity increases and the body needs more oxygen.

•     Half a litre of water each day is lost through breathing.

Functions of the Respiratory System

•     The hairs in the nose help filter and warm the air we breathe in.

•     The bronchi carry the air from the trachea into the lungs.

•     Capillaries (tiny ‘hairs’) found in the lungs absorb the oxygen, and other gases if present, and expels the carbon dioxide. These tiny ‘hairs’ also collect impurities from the air we breathe in thus preventing them from entering and infecting the lungs.

Care of the Respiratory System

•     Drink plenty of water to replace the water lost through breathing.

•     Exercise regularly to increase the oxygen supply to the lungs.

•     Practice deep breathing.

•     Avoid inhaling gases that are hazardous to the lungs.

>> The Circulatory System

•     The circulatory system comprises the heart, the blood and the blood vessels (veins and arteries).

•     The heart beats approximately 3 million times in an average lifetime at 60 times per second.

•     Blood rich in oxygen is red.

•     The arteries carry blood away from the heart, while the veins carry blood to the heart.

•     A single red blood cell takes approximately 20 seconds to travel through the entire body.

Functions