Signposts on the Road to Forgiveness

Signposts on the Road to Forgiveness

MARY CRAWFORD

Copyright © 2013 Mary Crawford.

Unless otherwise noted, scripture taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

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ISBN: 978-1-4908-0778-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-0779-9 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-0780-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013916322

WestBow Press rev. date: 9/23/2013

Table of Contents

Dedication

Foreword

Preface

Introduction

Part One:

The Journey

Chapter One       That I Might Know Him

Chapter Two       As David Did

Chapter Three       Confused in Battle

Chapter Four       Which is Easier?

Chapter Five       In the Cool of the Day

Chapter Six       Where Art Thou?

Chapter Seven       Fig Leaves

Chapter Eight       Know Your Enemy / Know Yourself

Chapter Nine       Called to Follow

Chapter Ten       Using God’s GPS

Part Two:

The Signposts

Signpost One       What’s the Point?

Signpost Two       Tender Hearted

Signpost Three       Seventy Times Seven

Signpost Four       Freed From the Tormentors

Signpost Five       Love Covers

Signpost Six       The High Road

Signpost Seven       Between Thee and    Him Alone

Signpost Eight       Two or Three Witnesses

Signpost Nine       Tell It to the Church

Signpost Ten       As the Heathen

Signpost Eleven       Judge Righteous Judgments

Signpost Twelve       Remove the Beams    and Motes

Signpost Thirteen       What about Gossip?

Signpost Fourteen       When Anger Is Not Sin

Signpost Fifteen       Before The Sun Goes Down

Signpost Sixteen       Shake Off the Dust of    Your Feet

Signpost Seventeen       Written in the Earth

Signpost Eighteen       Washing Feet

Signpost Nineteen       The Blood Speaks

Signpost Twenty       Communion

Dedication

First of all, I’d like to dedicate this book to Jesus, my wonderful Lord and Savior. You continue to amaze me, Lord! I am in awe of your goodness and love. Unto you be all the glory and praise! I’ll love you forever!

In addition, I’d like to dedicate this book to my husband and best friend, Dennis Crawford. I am so very thankful that God joined us together for His glory. Thank you for your steadfast encouragement and love for me, for our children, and for our God! Truly, you are a part of me!

I’d also like to dedicate this book to my faithful friends and family in the Lord. I am forever grateful to God for each of you. May God bless you as only He can do as you walk with Him according to His marvelous plan!

Finally, I’d like to dedicate this book to the body of Christ. You are the inspiration for this book. I pray you will be strengthened in His might as you walk into this spiritual dispensation of glory. May you be encouraged and enlightened by His truth knowing that you are not alone!

Foreword

Forgiveness is a fundamental Christian truth and Mary has written this in a very thoughtful and cogent way. The path is explained in a way that is informative for sure, but it is written in a way that brings the truth right down to where we live.

Her use of practical examples, explanations and Scriptural revelation open up a glimpse into the heart of God’s desire for us to be truly free. Taking heed and acting on it will transform your life.

I am confident this word is timely and needed in this hour of our Heavenly Father’s working in the church to produce a people to the praise of His Glory. There is no way for this to come about without forgiving as He forgives. This book will challenge, strengthen and provoke you to obey and walk in a life of forgiveness.

Bob Strobel

Christian Life Missions… . Director

Preface

It was during a time of great internal struggle and pain that I began to write that which I’ll endeavor to share with you within the pages of this book. I had written books before. But this was different.

Every day I would lie on my bed armed with paper, pen, and my Bible. There I began to etch beautiful, simple, yet profound revelations from God’s Word. I knew the scriptures of which I wrote. They spoke of forgiveness, power, and love. But I had never heard them taught this way before.

What I didn’t know is what any of these words had to do with my current situation. I didn’t know how to apply them in my own life or in the lives of those I taught. This was not a 3-step plan to spiritual success. I had embarked upon a journey that would take years, perhaps the rest of my life to complete.

It wouldn’t be until 18 years later that God would allow me to take the truths penned and share them with you in this book. I am going to share the basic truths that He revealed to me at that time. I’m also going to entwine those truths with some of the life-lessons that God taught me as He delivered me from a dark pit of confusion and set my feet once again firmly upon the rock!

I believe that it is no coincidence that you’ve picked up this book today. I believe that as you read and meditate upon these truths, you too will begin to be made free, truly free.

Whether you have just embarked on your spiritual quest or you’ve been a Christian for years, God wants to take you on a walk with Him which will liberate and heal you, enabling you to be all He intended you to be.

I found temporary relief and solace as I wrote these pages. As you read, I believe you’ll experience the same. But that is just the beginning.

I began to allow God’s Word to wash over me in a new way. I began to re-think things I once thought I knew. I began to truly let go and let God. In doing so, I allowed God to take me on a journey of faith unlike anything I’d ever known before. If you allow Him, He’ll do the same for you.

Introduction

When David’s time to die approached, he charged his son Solomon, saying, "I’m about to go the way of all the earth, but you—be strong; show what you’re made of! Do what God tells you. Walk in the paths he shows you: Follow the life-map absolutely, keep an eye out for the signposts, his course for life set out in the revelation to Moses; then you’ll get on well in whatever you do and wherever you go. Then God will confirm what he promised me when he said, ‘If your sons watch their step, staying true to me heart and soul, you’ll always have a successor on Israel’s throne.’ (I Kings 2:1-4) The Message (MSG)

Now is the time for the body of Christ to arise and show what we’re made of! We’ve been entrusted with a great responsibility by the King of kings Himself. But He has not left us alone. He has promised to never leave us nor forsake us. And He has set up signposts for us to follow along the way.

Allow the Spirit of God to embrace you as you read the following chapters which unfold the plan that God has had for you from the beginning. Then keep an eye out for His signposts! I believe your heart will be rejuvenated and refreshed as you return to the simplicity of His life-map absolutely.

PART ONE:

The Journey

CHAPTER ONE

That I Might Know Him

After years of pouring His very life into His disciples, Jesus looked at His closest followers in amazement and (if I may use the word) disbelief saying, Have I been so long time with you, and yet hast thou not known me, Philip? (John 14:9a).

He might as well have been saying it directly to me. Me? Me! Now wait just one minute!

I was raised in the church, saved at an early age, filled with His precious Spirit, and thrilled with the privilege of serving such a marvelous God! Know God? Of course, I know Him!

All I can ever really remember wanting is to serve Him. The only things I really value in life are those that He has done in and through me. I’ve seen and experienced His anointing, His provision, His healing, His deliverance, and His love! I know what He can do! Of course, I know Him!

Years ago, when He called me, I answered. I gave up my life and willingly followed Him, preaching and teaching the beautiful revelations from His Word that I love so dearly. I traveled the world singing His praises. Of course, I know Him!

The disciples too could boast of what and whom they knew. They, above all others, had heard the call of Jesus, taken up the cross, and followed Him. They had heard His Word and believed. They’d seen His mighty power. They themselves had wrought miracles in His name. Yet we see that none of this brought complete satisfaction to the heart of the Messiah.

It is amazing enough that mere mortals can reflect God’s power on earth. But it seems that the purpose of God is even greater than that. Jesus’ eyes reflected the great longing of His heart that day as He expressed His desire that His disciples might know Him.

The Cry of my Heart

It was the spring of 1995. I’d been ministering for several months in Davao City in the Philippines, along with some of my Christian colleagues. Each day, we walked to the small Christian school to teach. Part of me loved it! After all, teaching the Word of God has always been a passion of mine. To do so in various nations of the world was such a privilege! But each day during those nine months as we walked back to the home we shared, I couldn’t help notice that walls were closing in!

There were rumors of political unrest in the area at that time. Many people feared that being both white and Christian could make us political targets. As a result, we began to limit our outings to essential trips only. I missed being able to go to the markets and to the beach. But that wasn’t it!

We were also broke. None of us had any personal or ministry funds left at all. There was no rice or fruit left in the kitchen and I hadn’t a clue how we were going to feed either the Filipino or American appetites that I somehow felt responsible for. But that wasn’t it either! I wasn’t afraid to go hungry for a few days.

There was a deeper, more spiritual hunger that continually ached within me, and a fiercer yet more subtle danger that lurked in the darkness, gradually encroaching upon the freedom that I had always known. I couldn’t see it, but I’d sensed its gradual, suffocating effects for months now… perhaps even for years!

It had all happened so gradually that I’d barely noticed. Perhaps like the poor frog who didn’t realize until it was too late that the water he was swimming in was slowly being brought to a boil, I suddenly realized that I could scarcely breathe. An undefined weight pushed me down until I could barely put one foot in front of the other. I hoped it wasn’t too late! I prayed that I’d know freedom again, but I could neither diagnose my problem nor offer myself a solution.

My life wasn’t so bad. But I sometimes wondered if anyone noticed the pain behind my smile. It seemed I should at least identify the cause of my pain in order that I might somehow find relief. I was pretty sure that it wasn’t God’s fault. God had always been my source of healing and salvation, not bondage and fear. No, this pain could not be from God.

I knew Satan to be a formidable enemy! But he has to flee at the name of Jesus! I’d cast out devils and seen the forces of evil cower at the demonstration of God’s power. But in this particular struggle, I wondered why my warfare had become so ineffective.

I began to realize that the fault must be mine, and mine alone. I began to confess my sins both to God and to those around me. Surely my struggle was a result of some unbelief, some poor judgment, some evil thought, some bad relationship, some bad choice, or something! If I could but confess this error (whatever it might be) and turn from it, then I could know the joy of my salvation again. But for all my praying, rebuking, and confessing, nothing improved. Things only became worse.

I was willing to do anything to get freedom from this relentless suffocation. But even more, I just wanted someone to understand! I wanted—needed—someone to be there for me.

Perhaps this was what Jesus longed for too. Perhaps this is a universal need among all men and women—to be known. Was it too much to hope that those to whom I’d bared my soul over the years would at least remember who’d sent me? Was there no one who cared enough to at least try to hear my cry?

I blame no one. My surface smiles were no more sincere than theirs were. But trivial nonsense was the one thing I was certain I could no longer endure. I resigned myself to the fact that, if I ever was to know happiness again, it would not come as a result of those around me. No one I knew could help me.

My salvation would come not as a result of my own strength either. My strength was gone. Every resolution, every attempt I made to help myself, only made matters worse. No, if ever I would again be free, there would be nothing for me (or any other person) to boast. I could only be free again if the God who’d saved and changed me so many years ago would save me yet again.

CHAPTER TWO

As David Did

When my heart cried out to the Lord in my distress, I had no idea why He began to speak to me about forgiveness. All I knew was that I longed to understand and make some sense out of my pain. I’d do anything, pay almost any price, to have the joy of my salvation restored to me. And I tried! Believe me: I tried! If only I could do something, go without something, confess something, or blame something to fix the mess I was in!

Herein lies part of the problem. We want to fix it. We’ll talk about this in more depth later; but for now I’ll just say that we Christians need to realize that Jesus alone can save us, and that He alone can enable us to walk in His salvation!

Well-meaning Christians have spent far too much time trying to fix things. We want to look a certain way so that we might please the Lord, or others, or even ourselves. We don’t want an appearance of ungodliness to negatively affect our testimonies. But what if all of our attempts at appearances have left us with just that: appearances?

All I knew is that I had a gnawing ache inside that wouldn’t go away. I loved the Lord and desired to please Him. But I’d lost something along the way. Simply put: I wasn’t happy anymore! A cry began to come forth from the depths of my soul: Restore unto me the joy of Thy salvation!

It was King David who originally prayed these words in Psalm 51. But it made sense that David had lost his joy. After all, he’d just found out what a jerk he was!

The prophet Nathan had come to David after he’d had an affair with Bathsheba, and God’s message was not a joyous one. King David had committed adultery! If that wasn’t bad enough, when he found out Bathsheba was pregnant, he tried to cover up his sin. And when that didn’t work, he devised a plan to get Bathsheba’s husband murdered so David could marry her before the baby was born. Ouch!

No wonder David had lost his joy! By anyone’s standards, what David had done was bad! It must have been quite a low blow to his ego to realize that he had sunk so low, and that the whole kingdom knew about it! It is easy to see why David needed some help getting his joy restored to him. Ugh!

But when had King David actually lost the joy of his salvation? Was it the day that he committed adultery and felt the shame that comes from such an act? Was it the day he realized that his desire to hide his wrongdoings overshadowed his desire to do right, to the point of murder? Was it the day he realized that his horrible choices were now exposed to the very people he was supposed