Miracle Complete: Focus, Forgive, and Live, but Most of All Love
By Joyce Thomas
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About this ebook
My goal is to share with those who suffer from all forms of mental illness to become compassionate toward and embrace the wonderful gift of life God has given us and others. My own personal choices have been major keys to overcoming and conquering, whereas I have received a confirmed miracle from my bipolar illness. There is hope.
You will understand why I refer to the Holy Bible as the most valuable book on Earth. How important it is to accept Jesus Christ into our lives and live life to the fullest, no matter the obstacles we must conquer. Forgiveness is a gift we must give ourselves to love another and to stop ourselves from making major mistakes.
Life is valuable not only to us but others. Embrace your life God has given you and look forward to our heavenly home, which we can receive by listening and walking according to the plans God has for everyones life. God forgives.
Joyce Thomas
Joyce Thomas was diagnosed with bipolar illness twenty-one years ago and has received a miracle from God confirmed by three separate psychiatrists. She gives credit for the miracle to Jesus Christ, her loving husband, and medication, along with having a caring family, pastoral team, and psychiatrists throughout her journey.
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Miracle Complete - Joyce Thomas
Chapter 1
THE CHRISTMAS DAY I WILL REMEMBER FOREVER
As this Christmas Day approached, the long journey of my mental illness began. Our children were very young. Kendra was four, and Chad was one and a half years old. Mentally and physically, I had begun to suffer.
I was beginning to shut down emotionally, and I cried alone quite often, never wanting Kendall to see me cry. Emotionally, I had always been a very tearful person. Whenever I attended funerals when the deceased wasn’t a close relative, I would cry. However, situations in life had brought me to a point where I wasn’t crying. In the days leading up to this Christmas, my crying had ceased. Deep inside myself, I was comfortable with feeling this way. I was so relieved because no more tears would flow, and in fact I liked it. Years before, I hated myself for being a tearful person. In addition, I felt like those who saw me cry looked at me, thinking, What’s wrong with her? Physically I was losing weight and my strength, while I had no control over either situation, emotionally or physically.
In the days leading up to this Christmas, I did our shopping. Kendall had always left that responsibility for me to complete. Our children and family members were remembered through gifts that I purchased. I only accomplished it due to God’s assistance.
How did I ever get myself up that Christmas day? Looking back, how did I function? My body and my mind felt so weak, and only God knows how I crawled out of bed to begin that Christmas day. My first memory was of going to my husband’s childhood home to celebrate and open our gifts. Physically, I was going through the motions while my mind was leaving the world of reality. My only memory from the celebration was that I somehow forgot my purse when we left to go to my parents. That is the only memory of my Christmas that year in their home.
On that Christmas day, it was a snowy day in the state of Ohio. My children were dressed for the cold weather, I know. To this day, I always make sure my children are loved and cared for in a wonderful way because they are Kendall’s and my gifts from heaven, no matter how I feel, physically or emotionally.
When we entered my parents’ home, it was noisy with the chatter of voices of my family members talking. My parents’ grandchildren were busy playing. It seemed that day that sounds were so loud to me. That day someone else watched over the care of our children because I could barely function. Emotionally, I was numb. In reality, physically I was just there while mentally, I was leaving this world of insanity.
When we gathered at Mom and Dad’s for the noon meal, there was always prayer before we started any celebrations. My dad would either pray or would call on some other family member to give thanks to our heavenly Father for what He had given us. For the first meal ever in my life, I decided I would start fasting. One of my brothers was sitting next to me. He may have been the first family member who noticed something was wrong. I remember telling him that I was fasting. It wasn’t long before someone was there, trying to get me to eat; I don’t remember if I did. Most likely I did, because I always listened, especially if my parents were concerned.
After dinner, we all gathered in our parents’ basement to open our gifts. The noises that rang loudly in my head continued. On the other hand, I didn’t have a headache, but the noises were just so loud. On that day in the basement, for the first time, I realized my entire family had become aware that I was acting strangely.
My mother came to me and asked, Joyce, what’s the matter?
I replied, Mom, whatever it takes to bring our family back together again.
I saw the love in my mother’s eyes and heard the concern in her voice; I will never forget it. She immediately said, No, Joyce, don’t ever say that!
Why did I ever say that? Looking back, why did I care? Mom knew I was suffering mentally. It was strange, but all things considered, deep in my soul I had peace. I would find that suffering mentally by oneself is very lonely.
At this point, Mom never realized how much I had taken personal responsibility for situations inside. In the long run, I began to suffer mentally. Many times after saying or doing something, I would ask myself, why? Why didn’t I just remain silent and do nothing? It’s the easy way out. At this point in my life, I cared too much. Looking at situations in a wide view, I tried to include everyone’s views. In essence, I had always been very conscientious toward others. Unfortunately, situations came to me unexpectedly; I was never seeking and never wanting the information or the involvement.
A key to spiritual strength and growth comes through knowledge and having to learn lessons the hard way. It’s hard to say, but lessons are learned through trial and tribulations. We cannot change anyone. No matter how we feel, God will take care of every situation. To sum it up, it’s not easy to let go. It’s not easy to realize, but we can only change ourselves while we focus on loving God and loving ourselves enough to change. I try to live by my Christian morals, values, and beliefs daily. Since my healing, I feel I’ve changed. In conclusion, God has instilled strength. Are we partially responsible for someone else’s behavior, actions, or afflictions? Yes, we can be in certain situations. Sometimes, we are completely responsible, and there is no one to blame but