Lights, Camera, Take Action: Fifty-Two Weeks to a Better Life, One Movie at a Time

LIGHTS,

CAMERA,

TAKE

ACTION.

Fifty-Two Weeks to a Better Life, One Movie at a Time

JOE WILLIAMS-NELSON

Copyright © 2014 Joe Williams-Nelson.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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ISBN: 978-1-4525-9278-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4525-9280-0 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4525-9279-4 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014903226

Balboa Press rev. date: 03/02/2015

Contents

List of movies and action steps

It’s a Wonderful Life

will teach you to:

1. Create a quiet space.

2. Choose a title for your life plan.

3. Choose a theme song for the year.

4. Find an inspirational motto for your life.

The Long Kiss Goodnight

will teach you to:

1. Create a life résumé.

2. Decide your path in life.

G. I. Jane

will teach you to:

1. Identify the supporters in your life.

2. Recognize the haters in your life.

Jerry Maguire

will teach you to:

1. Live with integrity.

2. Remain your authentic self.

3. Create a mission statement.

Groundhog Day

will show you how to:

1. Live in the present moment.

2. Make a difference.

Ordinary People

will show you how to:

1. Sign up and try counseling.

2. Begin to make peace with your past.

Hoosiers

will show you how to:

1. Clean up your act.

2. Identify areas of life that are failing.

3. Set some goals in those areas.

Where the Heart Is

will show you how to:

1. Protect yourself.

2. Protect your family.

3. Protect your home.

4. Protect you finances.

5. Protect your identity.

As Good as It Gets

will get you to:

1. Accept yourself.

2. Appreciate who you are.

3. Stop comparing yourself to others.

Good Will Hunting

will get you to:

1. Share your gifts with the world.

2. Give yourself a launch party.

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

will get you to:

1. Stop feeling bad about yourself.

2. Create a rebound box.

Sommersby

will get you to:

1. Buy the book, Stand Up for Your Life.

2. Buy the animated movie, Spirit.

Lilies of the Field

will explain how to:

1. Put faith into action.

2. Create a directory of resources.

3. Assemble your professional support team.

Rocky

will explain how to:

1. Tap into your winner’s mindset.

2. Make a vision board.

Daylight

will explain how to:

1. Keep moving forward.

2. Celebrate your success.

Return to Paradise

will explain how to:

1. Lose any pretenses.

2. Create an absolute yes list.

Braveheart/The Passion of the Christ

will aid you to:

1. Stop playing the martyr.

2. Stop your whining.

Ransom

will aid you to:

1. Stop playing the victim.

2. Stop telling your sad ass stories.

The Count of Monte Cristo

will aid you to:

1. Stop being your own worst enemy.

2. Identify a strong ‘why’ for success.

Remember the Titans

will aid you to:

1. Stop settling for less than great.

2. Experience excellence.

Forrest Gump

will demonstrate how to:

1. Take care of you.

2. Engage in positive self-talk.

Phenomenon

will demonstrate how to:

1. Embrace solitude.

2. Spend time alone.

Men of Honor

will demonstrate how to:

1. Believe in yourself.

2. Reframe negative self-talk.

The Natural

will demonstrate how to:

1. Sharpen your saw.

• Open an emergency account.

• Get a library card.

• Join a gym.

• Create a communion.

Philadelphia

will clarify how:

1. Justice comes for everyone.

2. You can write new stories.

To Kill a Mockingbird

will clarify how:

1. Everybody lies.

2. Journal your lies.

A Time to Kill

will clarify how:

1. Everyone can tell the truth.

2. Journal your truths.

Nuts

will clarify how important it is to:

1. Let your guard down.

2. Share your ideas.

3. Take a chance.

4. Experience some intimacy.

The Prince of Tides

will offer support to:

1. Hire a therapist.

2. End your silence.

3. Forgive your trespassers.

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

will offer support to:

1. Take a leap of faith.

2. Make the jump.

The Poseidon Adventure

will offer support to:

1. Keep moving forward.

2. Spread joy in the world.

Rounders

will offer support to:

1. Stop helping people.

2. Establish guidelines for helping.

Magnificent Obsession

will assist you to:

1. Learn to receive.

2. Accept compliments

The Joy Luck Club

will assist you to:

1. Accept your mistakes.

2. Know your worth.

3. Find your voice.

4. Never give up.

South Central

will assist you to:

1. Increase self-discipline.

2. Budget your time with a schedule.

Life Is Beautiful

will assist you to:

1. Change your perception.

2. Create a paradigm shift.

Field of Dreams

will confirm that you can:

1. Stop stopping.

2. Get Unstuck.

3. Complete your projects.

October Sky

will confirm that you can:

1. End family loyalty.

2. Validate yourself.

3. Go your own way.

Simon Birch

will confirm that you can:

1. Live a life with purpose.

2. Live your life on purpose.

Boiler Room

will confirm that:

1. Your genuine self is enough.

2. You can Do Youand succeed.

Contact

will help you to:

1. Work with your Higher Power.

2. Ask for what you want.

Butterfield 8

will help you to:

1. Forgive yourself.

2. Forgive others.

Rudy

will help you to:

1. Go after something big.

2. Believe in yourself.

3. See what matters.

The Snake Pit/Girl, Interrupted

will help you to:

1. Heal yourself.

2. Get on with your life.

The Shawshank Redemption

will give you the ability to:

1. Find hope.

2. Keep hope alive.

Titanic

will give you the ability to:

1. Let go of the past.

2. Accept what is.

3. Live your life.

The Mirror Has Two Faces

will give you the ability to:

1. Create self-love.

2. Become a catch.

3. Fall in love again.

The Matrix

will give you the ability to:

1. Release fear.

2. Release doubt.

3. Release disbelief.

Grand Canyon

will support you in:

1. Finding God’s grace.

2. Finding the right path.

The Wizard of Oz

will support you in:

1. Finding a life contract for your goals.

2. Finding your way back to action and achievement.

The Wiz

will support you in:

1. Getting started

2. Getting rid of garbage thinking.

The Legend of Bagger Vance

will support you in:

1. Getting a Life Coach

2. Getting back in the game of life

"There is a point… right in the center of your heart… this is the Source of the Light. You are the Light. And your choices and creations are the lens through which the light shines. Your life, your world, your reality, your experiences,

…everything you perceive to be ‘outside of you’ is really just a projection of the Light of The One through the lens you are holding.

Alter your choices, thoughts and beliefs and you alter the lens. Alter the lens, and you alter the image that is shown. And then you have a new reality around you."

THE ASCENSION PAPERS,

By Arn Zing Dad Allingham

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

For my leading man:

Gregory, you are my ambassador of freedom. Thank you for being my lover and best friend without compromising either. Our marriage is one of the greatest love stories ever told.

To my supporting cast:

Arianna, you are the smartest person I know. Your inner and outer beauty gives me hope for this world.

Zachary, you are my dreamcatcher. Raising you has been one of the best adventures of my life.

Dylan, you have been my savior. Thank you for teaching me to be still, to seek understanding, and to spread wisdom.

Tristan, you are my gift from God. Nothing in the world means anything until I see it through your eyes.

PREFACE

As a kid, I watched movies with my mom. This was as much a tradition for us as was Christmas or birthday parties. My mother’s life, like most lives, was filled with disappointments and struggle. As an adult, I think of those late nights when my brother or I would get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. We would see her watching a movie and ask to stay up. I imagine that maybe this was her way of giving herself some scheduled chill time. I loved the quiet, and I loved sitting there with her in stillness.

I also remember my mother taking us to see movies in the theater. This was a special event for us like having money to go to McDonalds. Back in my day (did I just say that), movies and McDonalds were luxuries unlike today they are expected from this generation of kids who have movie libraries that rival the local video stores. Then or now, the effect of movies is something that will not change except to get better and better. The anticipation and excitement we felt when we traveled out of our neighborhoods to go to the movies were equivalent to going on a vacation.

There’s magic in that moment when we were sitting in the dark waiting for that first light to hit the screen. The darkness comes and hushes everyone. Sitting there knowing that any second now the light is going to come and envelope the screen is a thrill. We counted on the light and fully believed it would come. Just when we turned our heads around to look at the projector booth, the light shows up. This scenario is what I pray will guide your life over the next year with Lights, Camera, Take Action. Darkness comes, but we can evoke the light within us with the correct principles, tools, and actions.

I have passed the movie watching tradition on to my children, and they have embraced it just as I did. When I find myself channel surfing and I see a movie come on that I watched with my mom, I call them into the room just as she did with us. I make them sit quietly so they can develop an appreciation for the story and the actors just as I had to. Watch this part; Here comes the best line; Look or you’re going to miss it are some of the same words my mom said to me.

Peyton Place, Destry, Imitation of Life, Lady Sings the Blues, and of course anything with Elvis Presley in it were some of my mom’s favorites.

As I got older, I discovered a few favorites of my own to add to some of my mom’s: Claudine, The Bowery Boys, The Color Purple, The NeverEnding Story, and of course any movie with Brad Pitt in it. Now my children have developed a few staples of their own: The Matrix, The Sandlot, Toy Story, Harry Potter films, and of course any movie with Will Smith in it. The magic of movies brings people together from all walks of life towards a common goal… a happy ending.

My job as a movie life coach is to enlighten, educate, and entertain you, my audience. Most people are stuck in a darkness in their lives that has left them unable to move forward towards their own greatness. I believe the light put inside you by God can never be extinguished no matter how many hurts, disappointments, or betrayals you suffer through. All that is needed is a new connector that will give you renewed access to your own power source. As your movie life coach, I am here to connect you to the light all around you.

Once we establish a new connection to your Power Source, I teach you how to set boundaries and guard your heart so you never lose the light again. Together we use tools and principles that will develop new perspective and abilities within you. The seeds are already planted within you. My job as your movie life coach is to facilitate the development of those seeds.

I believe that there is something specific out there that you are destined to become. When we experience failure in life it just means we are moving closer and closer to our destiny. Just as a toddler learns to walk by falling, getting back up, and trying again, we must continue to get back up when we fall. As adults, no one is there all the time to kiss away our pain, and let us know it is okay to try again. With this book, your own personal life coach will be there to show you that consistent action taken through small steps will build your confidence. You will get back up; you will walk; you may even run, and in some areas of your life, you will learn you can fly. Embrace the movie magic of Lights, Camera, Take Action!

INTRODUCTION

Welcome to self-help cinema. I am your resident life coach. My job is to usher you along for an entire year while you transform your life. Everyone experiences pain and/or setbacks in their life. Life coaching supports you in getting back into the game of life by teaching you self-mastery over fears and beliefs that may create obstacles that get in the way of your goals. We cannot always control the things that happen to us in life, but we can certainly control how we respond to those things. Before starting this book, you have to have a few guidelines in place.

You have to agree to use the book the way it is intended which means scheduling time with yourself every week for the next year to watch each movie, and do the work. Make it a priority to do the activities laid out for you in the challenges. If you think that sounds too arduous then truthfully you need this book more than you know. There are no shortcuts to enhancing one’s life. It requires due diligence and a commitment. Most importantly, you are making a weekly date with yourself. Making time for you builds self-esteem, and you are certainly worth the work. Pull out your calendar, and pick your movie night. Write or type in a 3-hour block of time for this me-date. You will need about 2 hours for the movie and then an hour for journaling and planning your activities for the week that follows. Read the movie intro; watch the movie, and then come back to the book for your weekly challenge.

Get yourself a workbook and a separate journal. They are not the same thing. A journal is a sacred tool used to support you in getting in touch with your feelings about the work you are engaged in (What is wrong with being corny?). The workbook is for documenting the activities, the mistakes, the goals, and the accomplishments you experience for one whole year. The workbook will be a tool of measuring your progress as you design, map out, and create your ideal life. Write your dreams in your journal, but write your goals in your workbook. Goals are different from dreams in that they are time specific. In your workbook you will define the benefits of achieving your goals as well as any obstacles that need to be dealt with. Life coaching is all about measurable results. Together we will endeavor to build upon tangible success week after week.

Successful people write down their goals and often achieve them. You can buy a 3-subject notebook to start, and keep everything all in one spot. The first section will be your journal; the second section can be your workbook, and the third section of the notebook will be a catchall for miscellaneous tasks. Use the third section of the notebook to write down any notes to yourself about other movies, songs, or books I may recommend.

You will need a movie source. Log on to Netflix.com and start with a free trial to their service. You can type in the entire list of movies from the book, and they will send the movies to you postage paid in the mail. After the free trial there is a nominal fee for the service which depends on how many movies you want access to at a time. Of course, you can also go to your local video store or the library where you do not have to sign up for a new membership. However, no other video store can compare to Netflix’s library or convenience.

Are you ready to begin? This is what you have signed up for, an easy and fun way to get your self-help fix. We all love to watch movies so why not watch a movie, and make it work for you while you work on you. You are worth the time and commitment that this book requires you to give to yourself. Personal success and fulfillment are 52 weeks away. Be as courteous to yourself along the way as you would be to a fellow moviegoer in a theater. When you bought this book, you essentially bought yourself a ticket to the greatest show on earth… your own life.

It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) Welcome to the first movie of the rest of your wonderful life. You can begin this book on any given day of the week or month. I have written it to coincide with the start of the New Year. The beginning of the New Year and birthdays are when most people are excited about life change. I need you excited to read this book for an entire year.

Our first movie, Frank Capra’s classic tale of a man who desires a life greater than the one he has, is timeless. Maybe you have already seen this movie. Maybe you have seen most of the movies in this book. However, you have never seen them in the context of using them for life transformation. With that said, watch as a young James Stewart and Donna Reed, span 20 years to give you the best life lesson anyone could ask for to begin the New Year. Your life is perfect and wonderful; you just do not know it yet. As is the case with human behavior one must learn this lesson through experience. It would be great if you just took my word for it, but it never usually works that way.

George Bailey has begrudged his hometown of Bedford Falls for most of his life. George wants to travel the world and explore greater adventures than what awaits him in his father’s business. Bailey Buildings and Loan is in the business of preserving the best of the town and the townspeople more than a business of profit. Watch as George learns the hard way, so you hopefully won’t have to, that life’s true currency exists in how well we treat people and ourselves on the way to getting where we’re going. Enjoy the movie.

Take Action Steps: Every time I watch this movie I have tears in my eyes by the end. I am usually overwhelmed with emotions that span from great appreciation to a strong desire to get busy accomplishing things in my life. I am hoping you felt the same way. Your challenge for this week is a series of activities to begin your New Year. You are beginning on my Life Mastery plan, and it requires a few things to go smoothly.

1. Create a sacred space for yourself in your home. This place is to be your sanctuary, where you go to honor yourself and your dreams. It can be a room or a corner. I have a few spaces in my home dedicated to my solitude and peace of mind. My bathroom, meditation & prayer space, or my favorite spot to cuddle up with a book are all my sacred spaces. I am a person who believes in and lives an abundant life. If this is something you aspire to as well then use me as a model. To tap into the abundance of the world you have to have a system for blocking out the noise of the world. Your sacred space, be it a man cave or lady den, will spearhead your new self-value system.

2. Create a name or a theme for your life plan for the year. If you decide to do this program all over again next year, which is awesome and possible, you will create a new name for that new life plan. This is a necessary step in becoming a new creature. Just as the caterpillar becomes the butterfly with new name and all, you must do the same. You do not have to change your name every year; instead change the name of your life plan. My first life plan was entitled Joe’s Coming Out Party. If that makes you think of a cotillion, a quinceanera, or even ‘coming out’ to the world as a gay person then so be it. I chose this name because I needed to learn to live boldly. I also learned to step into my greatness without asking permission and to put an end to hiding.

I had a party where I introduced my new self to the world and used Diana Ross’ song "I’m Coming Out" as my theme music. We are still talking about that party. The next year my title was, ‘Not Your Average Joe.’ At that time, my intention was to live the life of my dreams and to live it out loud without modesty. Again, a fabulous year filled with travel and events to rival any stable minded celebrity’s life.

It may sound corny at first but trust me you will begin to love the name of