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Fat: From Desperation to Relief

Fat: From Desperation to Relief

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Fat: From Desperation to Relief

161 pagine
2 ore
Mar 22, 2012


Join author Laura Dolan-Hayes on a six year journey chronicling her thoughts, ideas and frustrations over her own personal state of obesity and the state of the worlds obesity at large. Observe as she identifies the lies, myths and misconceptions of weight control, and how society has managed to foul things up pretty badly over the last fifty years. It is a highly personal exploration where she identifies todays weight obsession as being no different than belonging to a cult, or suffering from a social anxiety disorder. As the author moves through these concepts and gains more and more clarity, she emerges in the end with the shockingly simple key to returning to a state of natural thinness without diet, exercise or spending a dime.

Mar 22, 2012

Informazioni sull'autore

Laura Dolan-Hayes is a success coach, author, and humorist who lives in Westfield, New Jersey, with her husband Ken, a chiropractor. Educated at Rutgers University, she holds a BA in information technology and informatics, as well as a MA in communication and information studies. She shares her home with many loving pets, including her cat, Eli Manning.

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Fat - Laura Dolan-Hayes


From Desperation to Relief

Laura Dolan-Hayes

Copyright © 2012 Laura Dolan-Hayes

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Balboa Press

A Division of Hay House

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

1-(877) 407-4847

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-4525-4877-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4525-4876-0 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012904890

Balboa Press rev. date: 2/9/2016




My Personal Odyssey with Weight

The History of Fat

The Fat Cult

The Language of Fat

The Insanity of Fat

Fat is a Liar

Your belief system and your body

Escape from the Cult

The Struggle

How to get started

Get Clear on What You Want

Eat and be Joyful!



About the Author

Also by Laura Dolan-Hayes

Unemployed: How Desperation Led Me to the Worst Job Ever

To my belly: I’m so sorry, please forgive me


It is vitally important that you read this preface before you begin reading the book itself. The design of this book is one where you actually go on a six year journey of self-discovery with me when it comes to the topic of weight. I make some very bold statements in the beginning of the book, and then you follow me as I journal my progress toward defaulting back to my natural thinness. You will bear witness to the struggle I go through in letting go of popular notions about weight and weight control. I have many ah ha moments where I think I have figured everything out, just to be thwarted again. When you read one of those ah ha moments and there are pages to follow, I still had a way to go until gaining complete understanding. Please refrain from doing anything I do in the book until you have finished reading it completely.

The reason I chose to write the book this way, rather than just coming up with my conclusions and presenting them is because I want to show you how miserably I struggled, and for how long I struggled to come to the understanding that all the control we will ever need or want, lies in the power of our thoughts. I have done almost no editing during the text where I’m treating this book like my personal journal. These are my real thoughts and feelings. These are my real light bulb moments. What I want you to know more than anything is that like you, I have struggled and fought with my weight, and even in light of having some intellectual understanding that what we’re doing is downright crazy, I had to think myself out of the insanity. You will bear witness to the struggle of marrying my intellectual understanding with the emotional side which has been abused by misinformation for the last thirty-six years.

Enjoy the story and enjoy the ride, but please don’t put any advice I suggest in the book into play until you get to the conclusion. Also, please don’t jump to the end because the ending will make no sense without going on the full journey with me. I know many of you will see yourselves in my words, and this is why I want you to read the book completely before taking any advice from me at all.

Hey it’s Laura again. When you see italic writing at the top of the chapter or entry, this is the recovered me talking. I’m just giving you some warning at the top of the page that indicates that I’m probably still struggling pretty hard, or I may be contradicting what I said the chapter before. In any event, it’s just a head’s up so you don’t suffer too much whiplash as I think myself to the truth. I apologize in advance for the crazy ride you are about to go on.


I would like to thank the following people who were instrumental in helping me get this book written. First I would like to thank me, because without me, this book wouldn’t have been written, and that would have been a shame.

A big thank you goes out to my mother-in-law Terry for your support. You are the only person who understood the gravity of what I was writing about, and whole heartedly supported my theory. Without your help this book would not have sped onto the market the way it did.

Thank you to my husband Ken. Although you didn’t know I was writing this book, I want to thank you for your support. You encouraged me to work in our business together, which has given me the gift of time to write this book. I couldn’t be more thankful for your kindness of spirit and your generosity.

I would like to thank Rhonda Byrne, author of The Secret and her brief story of how she went back to her default perfect natural weight. It sent me on my own personal mission of understanding that I am so happily sharing with the world today.

Thank you to my friend Carrie Chavers-Wills for suspending disbelief and listening to me as I agonized with the struggle. I know I gave you many cases of virtual whiplash, but in the end it was worth it.

Thank you to my BFF Lori Jeffers. Having lived through your gastric bypass and being witness to the barbaric fallout, only makes the work I’m doing in this book more important. Thank you.

I want to say a special thank you to my new favorite medical doctor Munirih Tahzib, MD. I had some medical fallout after finally turning my back on old beliefs. Dr. Tahzib restored my faith in medicine by acknowledging how powerful the mind/body connection is, and that I am truly on the right track. Thank you so much for helping me Dr. Tahzib!

I am forever grateful to Robert Comeau, English professor at Union County College in Cranford, New Jersey. Thank you for the encouragement you gave me about my writing. Thank you for saying that if I didn’t choose writing as a profession, I have chosen the wrong career. Those words mean more to me than you will ever know.

Thank you to my publisher Balboa Press for your speed and professionalism in getting this book to market.

Chapter 1

My Personal Odyssey with Weight

Hi it’s me Laura…if you skipped the Preface and just launched to Chapter 1, please go back to the Preface for a minute. It’s really short, but I need you to read it before you start the book. It’s important. Thanks.

A S I WRITE THE FIRST WORDS in this book, it is June 3, 2010 and I’m sitting at my dining room table at a whopping one hundred and eighty four pounds. I have known for six months that I wanted to write the ultimate book on leveraging the Law of Attraction, or what you think is what you get to return back to a normal healthy weight, but I discovered that I was about as immersed into the Culture of Fat as anyone can be. For the last six months, through journaling, I have had long and often painful discussions with myself, and looking back I can understand why no effort to be thin was working.

One of the things I’m beginning to understand is that controlling my weight is a big effort and requires too much of my thought and time. It is stress and struggle on a nearly constant basis.

On my way out to my car this morning, as I walked through the fresh, dewy grass, I remembered a line from the book The Secret. The line says The grass does not strain to grow. That revelation set me on a new thought path.

I have deliberately used The Law of Attraction to manifest many things in my life. I do it purposefully and I get amazing results. The Law of Attraction simply states that you get what you think most about. As a result my relationships are greatly improved. I am attracting new friends into my life. My first book is in the edit process. All of these things are a direct result of my asking the Universe for specific things and then receiving them. But I look at myself and wonder why I’m not at my perfect weight? I’ve asked to be returned to my perfect weight and I’m still one hundred and eighty four pounds.

This morning I realized that there are many things at play here, and today is the first day my body will begin to return to its perfect size, because I have changed my thinking and I have stopped struggling against fat. For the last thirty years I have tried to control my weight, and it hasn’t worked out very well for me. All these years I have been coming up with a plan to lose the weight. I got sucked into the how of losing weight. One of my plans was to walk everywhere I could. My rationalization was that when I was a teenager I walked everywhere, and I was naturally thin. What I failed to consider was that after the age of eighteen I drove everywhere and continued to be naturally thin. Then I thought about my childhood. No kids were fat because we played outside all of the time. We were riding bikes and running around the neighborhood, we played hop scotch and hula hoop, and jumped rope. What I failed to consider was that in the wintertime here in New Jersey it was too cold to go outside and play. From November to April we were fairly sedentary and yet I remained perfectly naturally thin.

Just this morning I realized that I was clearly spending too much time and energy on the topic of losing weight. This struggle is useless, and it’s keeping the weight on me rather than allowing me to return to my natural weight naturally. When I was a teen, it wasn’t the walking that kept me thin, it was me assuming I was thin that kept me thin. When I was a child, it wasn’t the bike riding or the hop scotch that kept me thin, it was the lack of fat thoughts that kept me thin.

What I want to talk about is my dysfunctional relationship with fat. Fat and I were first introduced when I was eleven years old, in 1970. At that time the world-wide fat panic was in its infancy. At the age of eleven I had chunked up a little bit and my mother panicked. She took me to the doctor who put me on an Atkins type diet. I did get thin again, but not because of the diet, but because I grew tall. It wasn’t until I became a mother myself that I realized my kids would chunk up right before they had a growth spurt. So at the tender age of eleven the fat word had been introduced into my psyche where it has taken up permanent residence for the last

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