Grandma’S Cookbook Revisited

© 2012 Pukka Carpenter. All Rights Reserved.

The scroll-paintings printed in this book are from author’s collection

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system,

or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 06/27/2012

ISBN:       978-1-4772-3329-0 (sc)

ISBN:       978-1-4772-4923-9 (ebook)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012911644

All technical data in this book, especially for handloading, reflects the limited experience of individuals using specific tools, products, and circumstances not necessarily reported. Benchrest & Bucks and Pukka Carpenter has no control and assumes none. Benchrest & Bucks and Pukka Carpenter accept no responsibility for such data and disclaim all liability for any consequential injuries or damages.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Grandma cuts a deal

Cape Cod Vacation

Donna modifies the game.

New Year’s Party

Ode to time

Eve’s half dozen sisters.

Family Heirloom

King Earl

Fiery chili & Italian bread

Paul’s prayer

Teddy Bear’s portrait

Trophies for Grandma.

Country Caravan

Red plastic piggy-bank.

Earl F. Hartwig artwork

Grandma cuts a deal

One spring morning Grandma awoke and nudged her husband of 50 plus years. She did not realize yet, that my dear friend, Grandpa, had slipped away during the evening.

Hi Pukka. Got some extremely bad news. Florence just called. George died last night.

Oh no! How’s Grandma doing? Am working feverishly addressing another rush job. Cannot leave just now. I will inform Carol. We will both arrive home about 5:45.

Nothing you can do here now anyway. Already plan to stay with Ma a few nights. She should not be alone yet. Still having trouble believing that life-mate deserted.

Declined overtime offer. Punched out at 4:45. Drove home. Carol arrived seconds behind.

Hi Honey. Must have been speeding.

Punched out 15 minutes early. Let’s visit Grandma.

Dad was in her kitchen adding a singular chunk of firewood to 8-lidded inferno. Silver coffee pot steamed.

Hello Harold. Where’s Grandma? She handles things alright?

Not well. Doctor Corinth dispensed sedatives. Bedroom with Althea and Reverend Stone. Want coffee?

Yes. Sounds good. Grabbing small cup. What are you investigating?

Checking out beer supplies. Great! Two large bottles remain. Care for some Dad?

No. Maybe later. Do not have any clues what to start cooking. Florence has not eaten anything all day.

Upstairs we have frozen hot dogs. Two pounds. Start boiling some water. Will be right back.

Negative Pukka. Carol apprehends our hot dogs. You stay down here locating pickles or relish.

Enjoy your beer. Relax. Should return hmm about half hour with pickles. Must tend chicken coup anyway. Later, feed new piglets. Just mix various ingredients like George did.

Grandpa bought new airplane #2 last month. Who services silver bird now? Nobody?

Your brother and me. Bobby studied engine repair addressing Navy duty. Florence wont be flying many more years anyway. Do not forget to feed hungry piglets. Well, time for brief departure.

Back again. Brought both packages. Setting them here on this countertop. Where are you headed Harold?

Feeding critters. Humph. Capturing three jars en route. Hi Reverend. My mother faring alright?

Very drowsy that one. Lovely little chat. Do not see you at church very often recently.

Little time for that. Was there twice last month. Too busy usually. Still working most Sundays. Bye kids.

Dad and Reverend Stone exit through backroom together. Carol leaves also, preferring kitchen’s opposite direction. Only to return almost immediately with Momma.

Grandma must be getting very hungry. Has not eaten anything today.

Florence fell asleep, which is God’s gift. Not planning to wake her up. She will eat later.

Saucepans are kept here above Grandma’s stove. Yes. Three cups of water should suffice. You dual chefs can watch over things. Hungry piglets beckon culinary attention. Returning hmm 20 minutes.

Honey? We have no bread or rolls. Want me heading for Norman’s general store?

Not necessary. Grandma keeps frozen bread above this refrigerator. One loaf or two? Ah. Never mind.

Florence’s finished projects are always great. Follow unique recipes. Mine savors very good also. Wood stoves must harbor beneficial qualities producing superior bread.

That pail does not contain much. Only miserly potato skins. Piglets undoubtedly feel disappointed.

They simply get extra cow corn rations. Ma? Staying here with Dad tonight?

No. Florence bounces back soon. Harold will be available if she needs anything. Coming back tomorrow.

Backroom door swings inward saving 32 year old Pukka’s discomposure.

Hey look! Collected over five dozen eggs. Not bad for this time of year. Also brought corn relish quarts.

That’s great Dad! Water has not started boiling. Be right back. Darling? Unwrap them first. Put both of these frozen specimen aboard one of Grandma’s blistering oven shelves. Should defrost readily.

Can’t help but wonder about Grandma’s maiden airplane. Flying remains pilot’s only true happiness.

Florence turned 91 last fall. Beginning to think she might be immortal. Must be tough on her. All 12 of her younger siblings are gone. Can only hope that she doesn’t give up on life.

Churning Grandpa’s silver bucket, much dawned on this old cowboy. After working as a designer/draftsman for nearly 15 years, no way could we afford an airplane. Just as well. Have no one to visit with anyway. Carol had that miscarriage back in 1971. Lost our son. But that was a dozen years ago. Poor old Zuke died last summer. Now that Grandpa left us, who will butcher pigs this fall? Who will fix backroom’s roof when leaks start?

Oh well, this conglomeration has stirred enough.

Two little piglets were overjoyed to see their silver bucket arrive. They were oblivious to tumbling pigeons frolicking overhead.

Hey, Pukka came back. Was sending Carol fetching you.

Grandma sleeping still Ma? Wanted to talk with her.

Doubt that. She took those sedatives. Surely conversations can wait awhile.

Honey? Have hot dogs. Taste super with corn relish on them. Cooked 16.

Not really hungry yet. Another glass of beer sounds inviting. Care for suds Dad?

Sure. Grab another glass. You, kids need another color TV? Replaced picture tube. Everything works.

What size and how much money we talk here? Ours quit weeks ago.

Three years ancient. 27 inch screen. All new parts. Works super. $150.

Here Dad. Pour your own. Warranty included?

If you like deals, pay $125 cash next month and I will take broken TV now. Try my set 30 days free.

Sold! Feel like having another hot dog. You having one Pukka? There are five left in that saucepan.

Yes, momentarily. Grandma might wake up famished though. Saving back some for her.

Where are you going? Saucepan rests over here on top of Grandma’s wood stove.

Getting late. Checking our mailbox before total darkness strikes. Probably nothing but incessant bills.

Did you say something? No? Sounded like someone squawked my name. Maybe Florence has awakened. Best verify that modality.

Welcome back Althea. Grandma still asleep?

Not anymore. She is presently in the bathroom. Plans to be out here momentarily. Good thing we did not eat every hot dog. That must be Pukka returning. Heard backroom’s door slam. See?

Honey? Did we pay our electric last month? Am positive I wrote out all required checks.

Paid all our bills as usual. Later, we can examine that issue. Guess what?

Humph. Do not have any clues. What?

Grandma is awake again. She will be joining us directly.

That’s wonderful! Have you spoken with her yet?

Actually, Florence sounds rather alert for someone caught in despondent situations.

Wood stove fancies more fuel. Cedar box craves refilling. Only have the three pieces left. Pukka? You are elected. Go outside bringing back several chunks. What is wrong with your present TV? Does the screen light?

Sometimes, but after warming entire picture ceases.

Was afraid of that. Sounds serious, but alright. Usually many elements are salvageable. After stoking this fire we can go up and I will wrestle the beast down here. Tomorrow I start stripping it. Some tubes cost $18.

Grandma ambled listlessly into her kitchen sanctuary. Obviously she had been crying.

Good evening Grandma. Would you like hot dogs? You must eat something soon.

No hot dogs Carol. Maybe I will make a peanut butter sandwich. Where is Pukka?

Gathering firewood. Cedar box needed refilling. He will be here soon. Yes. That would be him now.

Hi Grandma. Would you like a couple hot dogs? Can make some eggnog. Also have a coffee or beer.

Plan holding weighty firewood all night? Put that cache into my cedar box. Been thinking bunches. Maybe old Grandma should sell her new Cessna and get rid of most chickens. Too much work for this widowed lady.

Why ask for opinions? Seems like you already decided to throw away everything my Grandpa strove for.

Who will maintain the airplane? What if your old Grandma becomes seriously ill?

Dad and Bobby can fix any motor vehicle. Life is a gamble. If you fly 20 more years then get sick at least Florence crushed all odds another two decades.

2

Feel like hauling that defunct TV downstairs? Plan staying here three days. Reducing it to components will keep me occupied.

Sure. Lugging firewood has this old cowboy all practiced up. Where do we put tube-vault on arriving? Too heavy for Queen Annie. Could damage table legs.

Any space available in guestroom? Backroom is still cluttered with reloading equipment.

Wrong. Carol’s electric organ and Grandpa’s piano exhaust most free area.

Over there. Queen Annie’s other side. Next to Grandma’s cot. TV will not sit there for very long anyway.

Dark outside. Flip, that light switch. Stairway looms plenty wide. Two inch thick stairs should support us.

Have your key with you? Used to live up here years ago. Probably has not changed very much.

Malfunctioning beast takes up space over against that far wall. Need any tools?

No. Got everything necessary. Should only take a minute. Duct tape handy? If so, tape electrical wire out of our way. Do not need wires dangling freely.

Masking tape should work ok. There. No bobbing wire. This archetypal substantially heavy?

All these older models pose very heavy. Newer ones seem better designed. Larger, yet considerably lighter.

That was quick. We ready for lifting this ancient icon? Set it down outside, so I can lock our door.

When your Grandma dies, all this property is mine. Do not need two houses. You will require another place to live. 36 acres of prime building lots. Worked excessive hours consecutive jobs. 40 years. For copper pennies. Soon, Harold becomes a multi-millionaire. Sorry Pukka, but those are hard cold facts.

You would sacrifice your own mother? For money? Grandma stands in danger from her own son?

Been sitting on gold mine. Waited a lifetime. Finally got rid of George. 96 years old. Who would have thought? He drank and smoked heavily since turning 12. Florence will not last much longer. All her siblings are gone. Must admit. You are one powerful man. Naturally, I will deny our conversation took place. No one would believe you anyway. Now open the door, loser.

Hi Honey. Grandma went back to bed. She said thanks both of you for taking care of her critters.

Did Grandma eat anything?

Only two peanut butter sandwiches and one half cup of coffee.

Can not hold this cabinet up much longer. Get moving.

Going to be wonderful watching television again.

Close enough. Set it down.

Still early enough. Going grocery shopping. Care to join me Carol?

Ok! But almost 9:00 o’clock. Best hurry. Should get some canned soup for Grandma. Bye Harold.

See you tomorrow Dad.

Take care.

Carol drove which allotted time for wallet checking. Payday notoriously fell on Thursday. Tonight was Monday. According to my inspection, I had $60 and could spend $20 per day for the ensuing three days.

Honey? Your wife only has about $30. How are you fixed?

Not much better. Can spend $20 without problems.

Must have more than that.

My daily limit stands at $20. Do not get paid until Thursday.

What are you planning to buy?

Something other than hot dogs. Possibly hamburger and several cans of soup for Grandma. Must start eating regular foods. No one survives on peanut butter sandwiches alone. Still ripping over our urgent notice.

Do not understand any problems with our electric company account. All bills are paid up-to-date.

Pull right up front. Parking lot is sparsely populated. Do not have much time. Must be working by 8:00 o’clock tomorrow morning.

Approached soup aisle with vengeance. Next, deli took serious beating. Bill totaled $41.08. Ouch!

Wish Grandma felt less forlorn. Extremely trying lifetime point.

Buying televisions without electricity available seems foolish enterprise.

We still have $19,000 in savings. Maybe tapping that makes sense. Could transfer $1,000 into our checking.

Always paid rent. Someday Pukka buys or builds his wife a new house. Can not touch any money saved.

Tuesday afternoon management staged celebration party for valued employees.