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    Holiday Tales from Fairyland
    Holiday Tales from Fairyland
    Holiday Tales from Fairyland
    Ebook151 pages2 hours

    Holiday Tales from Fairyland

    By Joe Cosentino

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    About this ebook

    It’s holiday time in Fairyland. On Halloween, Ichabod Crane, a young schoolteacher, has a boner over sexy and muscular farmer Brom Bones. When the residents of the homophobic Sleepy Hollow aren’t happy about it, the headless horseman rides into town. Will Ichabod fall off his horse into Brom’s strong, rescuing arms, teaching the townsfolk a lesson in acceptance they’ll never forget? On Christmas, hunky Cavalier P.I. receives a visit from a new client, handsome young Fritz. Somebody strangled Fritz’s sister Clara with the ribbons of her toe shoes, and Fritz is the top suspect. But he seems more interested in the bulge in Cavalier’s tights than in getting himself off the hook. When Cavalier turns sweet on Fritz, it’s time for the private investigator to question his old dance partner the Sugar Plum Fairy, Clara’s husband the Nutcracker, Fritz’s other sister Louise, and Fritz’s Godpapa Drosselmeyer to save his intended and find out: Who Killed Clara? At Winter Solstice, young Vasily falls in love with a mysterious, handsome man who rides by his orphanage each morning, noon, and night. Upon following him, Vasily discovers the man is a prince under the powers of Baba Yaga. Can Vasily rescue his tortured Prince Anton from the witch’s conversion therapy and dance around his pole on May Day?

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherJoe Cosentino
    Release dateOct 1, 2018
    ISBN9780463921562
    Holiday Tales from Fairyland
    Author

    Joe Cosentino

    JOE COSENTINO was voted Favorite MM Mystery, Humorous, and Contemporary Author of the Year by the readers of Divine Magazine for Drama Queen, the first Nicky and Noah mystery novel. He is also the author of the remaining Nicky and Noah mysteries: Drama Muscle, Drama Cruise, Drama Luau, Drama Detective, Drama Fraternity, Drama Castle, Drama Dance, Drama Faerie, Drama Runway, Drama Christmas, Drama Pan, Drama TV, Drama Oz, Drama Prince, Drama Merry, Drama Daddy, and Drama King; the Player Piano Mysteries: The Player and The Player’s Encore; the Jana Lane Mysteries: Paper Doll, Porcelain Doll, Satin Doll, China Doll, Rag Doll; the Cozzi Cove series: Cozzi Cove: Bouncing Back, Moving Forward, Stepping Out, New Beginnings, Happy Endings; the In My Heart Anthology: An Infatuation & A Shooting Star; the Tales from Fairyland Anthology: The Naked Prince and Other Tales from Fairyland and Holiday Tales from Fairyland; the Bobby and Paolo Holiday Stories Anthology: A Home for the Holidays, The Perfect Gift, The First Noel; and the Found At Last Anthology: Finding Giorgio and Finding Armando. His books have won numerous Book of the Month awards and Rainbow Award Honorable Mentions. As an actor, Joe appeared in principal roles in film, television, and theatre, opposite stars such as Bruce Willis, Rosie O’Donnell, Nathan Lane, Jason Robards, and Holland Taylor. He received his Master of Fine Arts degree from Goddard College, Master’s degree from SUNY New Paltz, and is a happily married emeritus college theatre professor residing in New York State.

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      Book preview

      Holiday Tales from Fairyland - Joe Cosentino

      It’s holiday time in Fairyland. On Halloween, Ichabod Crane, a young schoolteacher, has a boner over sexy and muscular farmer Brom Bones. When the residents of the homophobic Sleepy Hollow aren’t happy about it, the headless horseman rides into town. Will Ichabod fall off his horse into Brom’s strong, rescuing arms, teaching the townsfolk a lesson in acceptance they’ll never forget? On Christmas, hunky Cavalier P.I. receives a visit from a new client, handsome young Fritz. Somebody strangled Fritz’s sister Clara with the ribbons of her toe shoes, and Fritz is the top suspect. But he seems more interested in the bulge in Cavalier’s tights than in getting himself off the hook. When Cavalier turns sweet on Fritz, it’s time for the private investigator to question his old dance partner the Sugar Plum Fairy, Clara’s husband the Nutcracker, Fritz’s other sister Louise, and Fritz’s Godpapa Drosselmeyer to save his intended and find out: Who Killed Clara? At Winter Solstice, young Vasily falls in love with a mysterious, handsome man who rides by his orphanage each morning, noon, and night. Upon following him, Vasily discovers the man is a prince under the powers of Baba Yaga. Can Vasily rescue his tortured Prince Anton from the witch’s conversion therapy and dance around his pole on May Day?

      Praise for

      The Naked Prince and Other Tales from Fairyland

      Tales from Fairyland Book 1

      by Joe Cosentino

      published by Dreamspinner Press:

      "This is a brilliant work, filled with imaginative twists and sly asides. This is adult literature, overflowing with sometimes gentle but often biting humor, and these fairy tales take on a new edginess without ever losing the morality underpinning each story. The Naked Prince and Other Tales from Fairyland gets my highest recommendation! If I could give it more than 5 Stars I would. Bravo, sir, bravo!" GGR Reviews

      Sometimes you are lucky enough to find an author that ticks every box you want as a reader, today I’m that lucky reader….a great saucy, fun collection and highly recommended. Three Books over the Rainbow

      the stories are all well done and smart, engaging, funny and sweet. Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words

      "The Naked Prince and Other tales from Fairyland is a fun, hilarious collection of stories. Joe outdid himself taking old favorites from our childhood and putting a grown-up spin on them….If you like gay princes, sexy bears, giants, reporters, fairy tales, comedy, suspense, and, sweet, fun man-sex, this is for you." Cathy Brockman Romance

      If you haven’t read anything by Cosentino, you don’t know what you are missing. His humor and penchant for drama bring these old favorites a new life as he ventures deep into Fairyland….If you love fairytales, you’ve got to read the naughty versions – they are even better! Joyfully Jay

      I was most surprised by the author’s sense of humor and his ability to get me to not only laugh out loud, but actually to belly laugh. I highly recommend this to audiobook lovers, and especially to those who loved fairy tales in their childhood. Hearts on Fire Reviews

      "In this wickedly entertaining take on classic fairy tales, Joe Cosentino gives us four short stories full of all the characters you remember from storybooks – Cinderella, Pinocchio, Goldilocks, Captain Hook, Jack and the Beanstalk, Prince Charming and many more – but fair warning: This ain’t your childhood Cinderella. Welcome to a world where it isn’t Pinocchio’s nose that grows when he tells a lie. Goldilocks discovers three sexy daddy bears in the woods and ‘someone’s been sleeping in my bed’ takes on a whole other connotation. Jack is ‘very nimble’ but sadly also ‘amazingly quick’ and Prince Charming dons ‘palace protection’ for hot sex with Cinder. Extra bonus points for this wonderful quip: ‘I always suspected he had more down his throat than a frog.’" Gay Book Reviews

      Holiday Tales from Fairyland

      Tales from Fairyland Book 2

      Joe Cosentino

      Copyright © 2018 Joe Cosentino

      Printed in the United States of America

      This is a work of fiction. All characters, places and events are from the author’s imagination and should not be confused with fact. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, events or places is purely coincidental.

      All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form, whether by printing, photocopying, scanning or otherwise without the written permission of the author.

      This book contains sexually explicit content which is only suitable for mature readers.

      Cover art by Jesús Da Silva

      Interior and cover design by Fred Wolinsky

      Table of Contents

      Halloween in Fairyland (Ichabod and Brom)

      Christmas in Fairyland (Who Killed Clara?)

      Winter Solstice in Fairyland (The Night Rider)

      About the Author

      Connect with the Author

      Other Books by the Author

      Dedication

      To Fred for everything over all these years, my sister for reading me those fairytales when we were kids, and all the readers who begged for another Tales from Fairyland novella.

      Halloween in Fairyland

      (Ichabod and Brom)

      Ichabod Crane had been unlucky in love, or as he put it, nonexistent in love. Tom Thumb refused to give him a prostate massage. The Wolf behaved properly around him. And the Captain and Pan wouldn’t let Ichabod near their Hook and Peter.

      Ichabod had been warned about the backward village of Sleepy Hollow, but teaching positions were hard to come by, and Sleepy Hollow needed a new teacher. So, alone and lonely, Ichabod accepted the position.

      Riding on Gunpowder through the gates of Sleepy Hollow, his horse glanced back at him as if to say, Are you serious? The village stood in a remote section of Fairyland, turned red by the fall leaves covering the grass. It was common knowledge that the king of Sleepy Hollow had worked with the leader of a neighboring village to rig his own election and taken a great deal of wealth from the residents for his own palace. However, the village was most famous for its residents’ twilight superstitions, staunch religious beliefs, and intolerance to anyone they deemed ungodly. Therefore, the Brave Little Taylor wasn’t brave enough to venture over. The Robber Bridegroom found wives in other villages. The Three Little Pigs built their houses anywhere except Sleepy Hollow.

      Sleepy Hollow’s previous schoolmaster had been caught in the church’s bell tower on his knees before the minister—who was fired up after giving a sermon about the evils of two males together as noted in their holy book. So, they were both run out of Sleepy Hollow by an angry mob.

      As Ichabod rode across the cobblestone bridge in need of repair, his hat bobbed against the tree branches—a peril of being quite tall. Since he was also quite thin, the horse galloped a bit too quickly. Ichabod’s large hands pulled on the reins, his long nose pressed into the horse’s mane, and his big feet dug into Gunpowder’s sides. Still, the animal raced at the speed of lightning. As the horse jumped over a bale of hay, Ichabod’s horn-rimmed glasses flew off his umber eyes, and he was hurled into the air—landing beside two large black boots. Ichabod gazed up at mountainous legs nearly bursting out of russet britches. The man extended a strong hand. He had short curly black hair, a wide neck, and broad shoulders stretching a chestnut tunic. Ichabod guessed him to be about twenty-five, like himself. After reaching out his hand, Ichabod was pulled into the air, and landed in the stranger’s powerful arms with Ichabod’s narrow chest pressing against the large man’s wide pectoral muscles. There Ichabod gazed up into his large black eyes, wide nose, and full red lips. Unable to control himself, Ichabod’s long thin erection pressed against his britches. He couldn’t help noticing the other man’s large fat one pushing at his bottom.

      The stranger cocked his large head. Both of them. We don’t get many visitors to Sleepy Hollow. What brings you here?

      Ichabod leapt to his feet officiously. Blushing, he straightened his sapphire suit and white ruffled tunic. My name is Ichabod Crane. I’m the new schoolmaster.

      The man looked at him in pity. Good luck.

      "And you are?"

      Brom Van Brunt.

      As they shook hands, Ichabod enjoyed the man’s warm, wide hand covering his own.

      Can I have my hand back?

      Agh, yes, of course. Ichabod released Brom’s hand.

      Brom retrieved Ichabod’s hat and glasses from the ground and returned them to him.

      Ichabod placed the round eyeglasses back on his long nose and the triangular hat over his even longer dark hair. He found the stranger incredibly alluring. Thank you.

      No problem. As Brom pressed his hands into his pockets, his biceps swelled like pumpkins.

      Ichabod gasped in delight, enjoying himself even more than when he taught in Oz and admired the Tin Man’s can. You seem quite strong.

      I work outside, Brom explained.

      Ichabod’s jaw dropped open at what appeared to be a tree stump bulging under Brom’s britches. It was even longer than the Lion’s tale, and thicker than the Scarecrow’s straw.

      Brom noticed. Everyone calls me by my nickname, Brom Bones, or Brom Boner. Because of my long, thick, hard…bones.

      Ichabod was quite intrigued. Who do you…what is it that you do, Mr. Boner…I mean, Mr. Bones?

      Call me Brom. He rested a boot on a fallen branch. I own a pumpkin farm not far from here.

      Ichabod’s voice cracked as he tried to sound casual. Do you live…alone?

      Just me and the chickens, and my pet, Bart.

      By ‘chickens’ and ‘pet,’ do you mean animals?

      Brom roared with laughter. Hey, you’re a funny little guy. Ichabod joined in laughing until Brom said, I wish my fiancée was as funny.

      Fiancée? Ichabod’s heart skipped a beat.

      I’m engaged to Balters Van Tassel’s daughter, Katrina. Pride filled Brom’s handsome face. His large farm and impressive home will one day be mine.

      Brom’s horse neighed in discontent. Ichabod shared the animal’s disdain.

      Daredevil doesn’t like to be idle for too long. Brom winked at him. Like his master. He jumped onto the horse and offered an outstretched hand. Let’s go.

      Go? Ichabod’s mind raced at the possibilities.

      "Since your horse

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