Deceased Thoughts from a Living Mind

© 2011 by Eli L Riché. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 05/08/2012

ISBN: 978-1-4520-3311-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4520-3312-9 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4520-3313-6 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2011906429

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Introduction

I

Dear Momma… . A Letter to You

Interference

Scared to Love

Soul Divided

This is Love & Not Sex… . Isn’t It?

Why Is a Broken Heart The Thing To Love?

My Belief

It’s Too Late for Withering Willow

Black Moon

Cold, Complacent, Window

I’m always Fine

The Perfect Pen

I Crush

Letter to Angel

Mirrored Love… Sad

River Run Rate

The True Meaning of Pain

II.

Into The Death

Fade 2 Black

Swan Song

Ghost

Better off without you, better off with you

Breathe… If the Leader Allows It

Think, Worry and Forget

The Whipping Post (Ode to Love)

Not of What I Was

I Give Up

Ashes

Sunshine through Peppered Glass (Signs)

Little Brown Bird

A Heart That Beats Away

Breathing, Living and Thinking for Me

Never Look Back

Death’s Jump

III.

And If Gets Me Halfway

Continent of Thoughts

Angel’s Promise

I Quit

Reflections of Me

Unfinished

Give Up On Love

Red Tears of an Angel

Then You Have to Leave Again

Miss U

Playa

What The Fuck

Before I Ended Up With You

Negros Love

The Road That Lies Within You

Please (Message to God) Volume One

Spaces

Crying Equals Acceptance

IV.

Only U… Reminds Me

Aroused

Everything is Bigger in Texas

Damn, Freak

And It Hurts

So Hard (In the Morning)

Take My Hand

I Will Be

Boi pussy dreams

Whispered

Stripper’s Song

Oh this man I love

V.

Friend

Builder

Someone (The Victim)

Cares (The Abuser’s Story)

A Child’s Life

Gossip Girl

VI.

Love is Funny

Indecision

Life is a Game, a Missing Piece in the Struggle

Anyone Can Please You (But Only I Love You)

Un-Noticed

My Body

Being Broke Is Everything

Before I Entered

Forget Me Not

Swimming East

Feeling the Same Way That I Do

Be Yourself

Random-Ness-That Confusingly

Leads to No-Where

-Switch-

I’m going back To Puerto Rico

God

Thank You

Introduction

I’m not the perfect writer. I am definitely not the type of person whom corrects everything to the T. I am simply me. Eli Riché. By all accounts, many people believe that I write with a passion that is unmatched however, I know plenty of better and more well received writers (which is why I tell those people to get into a book store more often!). There has only ever, been one person who has completely understood my person, my being, me in a nutshell. That person is me. That person can only be me.

I am going to let you, the world, into my simple yet complex mind.

Read, laugh

Read, cry

Read, and cuss me out

As long as you read, I’m happy

I’m not going to do some big crazy intro type of thing; instead I’ll leave

you with this.

Many people told me I would be nothing like my daddy

Some went as far as to say my sexuality was a curse

For years it felt like my own mother had abandoned me

Yet one day I healed myself up as if I was my own doctor, hospital and nurse

I ain’t no superman or miracle worker

I’m just me

I ain’t trying to achieve world peace with a speech

I’m just me… writing my poetry

So if you don’t like what you read, turn to the next page

If you don’t like what you see, have someone read it to you

If you just don’t like me…

Well too damn bad, because at the end of the day

I’m still going to be here

In the same spot that God left me according to his plan

Now go get comfortable, hopefully with a nice cool drink in hand, and read and rest. Just a fair warning though, some of the poems contain adult language, sexual references, and me in angry mode. Just wanted to let you know, that once you leave this page, you are entering into…

My heart, soul and my mind.

I

Wounded by Love

-As we all may be one day… someday… soon

(My mother was never lying)

Dear Momma . . . . A Letter to You

saw him die, yes it did kill me inside

As much of an ass that he was

I didn’t want him to die because

People can be fixed, you showed me that a long time ago

But that car hit him and the Angel of Death said that he had to go

I stood there mesmerized

Looking into his hazel eyes

And not once did I start to cry

I thought what goes around comes back around five time harder, ten times sharper

And then I saw his tears as he reached for my hand

The hand of his man, and still there is where I’d stand

His fingers touched mine lightly and they started to shake

I wanted that poor bastard to hyperventilate

And I couldn’t even think, that this would be his last day

His last play of his last game

I was such a jerk… couldn’t even help myself because I felt pain before, and I wanted him to feel it for himself

But as soon as my mind got darker

His brother ran past me and called the police and his private doctor

Once the ambulance arrived, I sat beside my dying man

And listened to him struggle to tell me something

At first I didn’t care, I was too fucking bitchy

Then the heart machine had stopped and started, that shit was tricky it caught my attention and I looked into his eyes once more

It hurt me badly because his tears did start to pour

He said he was sorry for the way that he had treated me thus far

And if he got patched up then he would change and be on par

With me… and how I treated him usually

And I thought to myself… almost musically

That if I stay… I would only be in the way but I didn’t let his hand go

And it was the first time that I said it… the words came out so very slow

don’t die on me, I’m glad you want to try to make things better, but once we got to the hospital… he couldn’t make things better

He had moved on, and I was a dick on this last day

So tell me momma, can you truly forgive me?

Remember momma, that day you held me

In late June, and told me that I should be happy

I couldn’t be myself because he hurt me

A graduation and a reappearance by a deity

Not trying to call him a god at all but he meant a lot to me

But she said now come on E . . .

He was the first guy that I fell in love with

Not that puppy dog love… but real love like I was his bitch

I was down for almost anything that he suggested

Even if it was far out and a thought couldn’t be manifested

He took his time trying to get to know my body

But my mind and spirit were first before he got on top of me

I remember making love was like a symphony

With violins playing in the background of my heart’s chest cavity

The times we fought there was no real backlash

Said he had to have me, even when he was being an ass

Never let it get to the point of no return

You know the point where your body and heart both just crash and burn

I remember when he proposed to me that was the day that started this

up and down tragedy because I said no even though he meant more than life to me couldn’t look at myself in the mirror anymore… afraid of what

I’d see

I died that day because he took a trip and didn’t come back

He didn’t come back

I died that day because instead of believing myself, I looked the wrong

way

I looked the wrong way…

Six months later, it’s my high school graduation

And almost like masturbation, I truly felt stimulation

Not sexually but emotionally because a little to the right of you

Was someone who was alright and cool

He had returned and he asked me out to dinner

We went to his apartment later on, and he grinned like he was a winner

But I only went to tell him that we were completely done

You can not block the moon with your sun…

So after hearing that,