How to Deal with 21St Century American Women: Co-Creating a Successful Relationship

© 2013 Frosty Wooldridge. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 09/02/2021

ISBN: 978-1-4817-4335-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4817-4337-2 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4817-4336-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013907196

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Contents

Foreword

Dealing with 21st century American women

Introduction—The emerging 21st Century American Woman

SECTION I: GETTING YOUR ACT TOGETHER AS A MAN

Chapter 1 Play hard, live passionately and die happy

Chapter 2 Power struggles

Chapter 3 Are you what women think you are?

Chapter 4 Is your underwear too tight?

Chapter 5 Real men do cry

Chapter 6 Sartorial splendor

Chapter 7 Gordon’s greatest danger

Chapter 8 Truth or consequences

Chapter 9 Politically correct

SECTION II: GOOD WOMEN: HOW TO FIND AND KEEP THEM

Chapter 10 No matter what your circumstances—bald, old, ugly, short, rich, poor, educated, undecided or fat—you can have women at your side by learning this one simple skill

Chapter 11 Fantasy women

Chapter 12 Wonderful women versus dysfunctional women

Chapter 13 You call yourself a man?

Chapter 14 Dating a younger or older woman

Chapter 15 Eco-partners of the 21st century

Chapter 16 Things that turn women off

Chapter 17 Lip service or how to be a great kisser

Chapter 18 The power of the personal ad

SECTION III: WOMEN TO AVOID: DANGER SIGNS

Chapter 19 Admit that you can’t understand women

Chapter 20 Factors beyond her control

Chapter 21 Warning signs: PMS, listen or suffer

Chapter 22 She ain’t heavy, she’s an albatross

Chapter 23 Little shop of horrors

Chapter 24 Women not to wed

Chapter 25 If she plays games

Chapter 26 If she’s in insecure, jealous, possessive

Chapter 27 How to beat the odds

SECTION IV: GETTING TO KNOW A WOMAN

Chapter 28 How to get yourself out of trouble

Chapter 29 Visiting hours at the emotional jail: how to deal with a woman who has placed herself in a cage

Chapter 30 When she turns her face when you try to kiss her

Chapter 31 Baggage and vacancies of the heart

SECTION V: BREAKUPS AND DIVORCE

Chapter 32 Rejection and how to deal with it

Chapter 33 Women over 40

Chapter 34 Prenuptial or practical patience

Chapter 35 Rational breakup

SECTION VI: LEADERSHIP, AGE AND POWER

Chapter 36 Post operative recovery from divorce

Chapter 37 Absurd scenarios

Chapter 38 We’re being polite but is it worth it?

Chapter 39 When the doo-doo hits the fan, try not to stand in front of it

Chapter 40 We were all studs at one time

Chapter 41 What if she wants to lead?

Chapter 42 You can’t have it all

SECTION VII: SHARED INTERESTS, DIFFERENT WORLDS, RELIGION

Chapter 43 If she professes religion and you don’t

Chapter 44 Opposites attract like wedding cake and mustard sauce

SECTION VIII: THE THINGS THAT ARE ALWAYS ON OUR MINDS: MONEY AND SEX

Chapter 45 Sure cure: 36 C’s

Chapter 46 Split the bill, share the bed, save for counseling

Chapter 47 That one night stand that stands out

Chapter 48 Sexuality and one of the few moments of truth

Chapter 49 To get bedded or not get bedded

Chapter 50 Once you have sex, everything changes

Chapter 51 The keys to the long-term viable relationship

SECTION IX: KIDS AND EMOTIONS

Chapter 52 If she has kids

SECTION X: PROFESSIONAL HELP AND FRIENDS

Chapter 53 Value feedback

Chapter 54 Try professional counseling

SECTION XI: TRUE LOVE AND HAPPINESS: FROM THE MOUTHS OF THOSE BABES

Chapter 55 What a 21st century woman looks for in a man

SECTION XII: COMMON PITFALLS WHERE MEN CRASH

Chapter 56 Are men really bad to women?

Chapter 57 The secret to life: love is the dance

Chapter 58 It’s simple, if you’re dead, you can’t play

Chapter 59 Hanging on to romance

SECTION XIII: YOU MAKE YOUR OWN FUTURE

Chapter 60 Shoot for the moon: if you miss, you’ll be among the stars

Chapter 61 What constitutes a real 21st century man?

Chapter 62 The voluptuousness of living

Chapter 63 Books worth reading

Chapter 64 Epigrams for inspiration and motivation

Chapter 65 Prognosis for the 21st century man

About the Author

More books by the author

Dedicated to men who love women

and women who love men;

we all make the world go around.

Yahoo!

FOREWORD

We love women. It’s not as complicated a thought process as you might think. Love isn’t intellectual—it’s biological. As recently published articles propose, we speak about major chemicals and neurotransmitters that fuel our infatuations and attractions. We live to mate. Whether it’s supposed to be for life or not, we will continue to mate or attempt to mate in the future. Does it feel good or is it always level of maturity appropriate? No, it’s not! Are we presented with opportunities to learn and grow? Yes, but we can be remarkably stubborn when it comes to learning the training points of relationships.

One thing about life lessons: if you don’t comprehend the lesson the first time, it will revisit you again and again until you get it. Once you learn it, you can move forward.

When it comes to women, you face multiple life lessons. No matter what difficulties, you learn to accept them.

You love the way they walk, talk, stand and breathe. To watch their fabulous figures move on the beach clad in bikinis steals your breath like a summer windstorm. When they walk through a city park, the sway of their hips in jeans creates a movie worth watching in itself. In many ways, they’re on parade their entire lives as they glide past your admiring eyes.

Whether married, single or divorced, a man’s eyes remain 21 years of age and he never stops looking. Notice the grizzled man on the beach with leathered skin and a glistening dome, yet his eyes gaze at the beautiful women pulsing past in bikinis.

You love their breasts that never fail to fascinate your soul and maleness. They bounce up and down while swaying back and forth—a visual delight for you.

You never get enough of those sumptuous lines of their bell-curved derrieres as they sashay in dresses or tight fitting jeans. In winter, you pray for summer when they shed their overcoats and wear sheer blouses and cutoff shorts. You adore those silken legs that go on forever and fill your mind with intoxicating desire.

There is nothing quite like the allure of a well-dressed woman as you imagine her with you, disrobed . . . sensually erotic and wanting to be loved.

No doubt, they primp and fuss over their lipstick or flow of their hair. They make themselves sexy, gorgeous and alluring all for you.

To entice, intrigue and engage you—so, in the end, you may romance them.

DEALING WITH 21ST CENTURY

AMERICAN WOMEN

This book, created by two baby boomer alpha males, (one of us will remain anonymous for reasons of personal safety) is written for men who cannot comprehend the actions and behaviors exhibited by 21st century American women. Our book covers subjects that every male has encountered in the past 20 years or will encounter in the next 20 years—pertaining to women. From our treasure chests of life experiences, we suggest workable ideas on how to handle relationship challenges.

We’ve been married and we’ve been divorced. One of us successfully married again. The other remains single. No university awarded us our credentials for writing this book. We didn’t investigate relationships by plugging people into tests, observing their responses and tabulating scientific results.

Our credentials consist of gut-wrenching life experiences—hard earned and verified by getting our proverbial butts kicked. We’ve learned our life lessons in the trenches. Along the way, we haven’t become angry nor do we suffer from loneliness or woe-is-me mentality. We love and adore women as much as ever.

At the same time, we learned a few things to pass along to you, our fellow male creatures, so you can make better choices in your quest for a mate.

Men in the USA today must deal with women on many fronts:

1. Emotional equality in women versus biological inequality traditionally enjoyed by males.

2. Financial equality versus men once dominated the finances.

3. Physical equality versus men once ran faster and jumped higher.

4. Sexual equality versus women who still suffer headaches too often.

5. Educational equality versus men once owned most of the college degrees.

6. Employment equality versus men once brought home the paycheck.

7. Sports equality versus men once dominated all of sport.

The mating game changes faster in America than most of us comprehend. Many teens text each other rather than talk to one another. You will find match.com organizations that promise you your perfect mate. Money back guarantee! With all of that, the divorce rates continue at 50 percent crash and burn. Therefore, we decided to throw our hats into the ring with some hard earned male ideas for finding, romancing and maintaining a positive relationship with the 21st century American female.

The fact remains: men still initiate relationships. Men own the testosterone market-share. We commence the mating process because we ask for the first dance and attempt the first kiss. Okay, yes, a few women might take the lead, but for the most part, it’s you, dude, who does the initiating.

Along the way to women’s liberation in the late 20th century, many areas of certainty once enjoyed by men were and have been thrown into chaos. Women emerge daily as new forces in our formerly male-dominated society. Today, we must learn new ways to deal with women fairly and respectfully—while maintaining our masculinity. It’s difficult since new generations of women aren’t sure where they stand, not having stood there before. Their confusion becomes our bewilderment.

We’ve come to the ongoing understanding, subject to modification, that the majority of males will rarely enjoy the opportunity to live the fairy tale, much less be able to remember the fairy tale’s origins.

What fairy tale? Simple: men used to be the top dogs who grabbed all the glory. Males owned big corporations and controlled the money. Men headed households. At the bottom line, men enjoyed a man’s world.

Having said this, we take the first wobbly steps and prepare to acknowledge that the new paradigm offers a lot of frustration. If we can move the new model out into the open and start the dialogue among ourselves—we can move hand-in-hand with women into the new century. We men bond through our sports, literature, music and arts. Guess what? So do women!

We live in the 21st century. We must acknowledge that to be alive today, educated and living in America—provides as good an opportunity for a magnificent life as it gets. Given our potential, we think it could be better. It’s in the area of relational dynamics that the wellspring of today’s males’ frustration simmers and seethes like the boiling mud pots in Yellowstone National Park.

Are we alone and unique in this time? We doubt it and it’s our bet that men in previous decades experienced many parallel challenges. We will explore those challenges further. It’s their living female offspring that concern us at the moment.

That’s right! The liberated women of the 21st century stand in the batter’s box. Susan B. Anthony and the suffragettes retired our side many years ago. Guess what else? The Rules of this new female equality have never been published in any way, shape or form. It seems to us that rules developed by females and for females interacting with males are metaphysical and constantly changing. The rules appear to be: no rules exist. There’s nothing we can read, memorize or cite statistics. We cannot buy a copy and play the game. Three strikes and you think the female side retires and relinquishes the plate to us? How’s that working out for you, dude?

Men love the quest

As men, we like challenges. We expect to conquer, to be in control and play the game. If we soften the scenario, we allow women to start the emasculation process. We males don’t care if we win or lose, well, that’s not quite right—we do care, because we will try and try again. If we don’t succeed after a certain number of tries, we move on. When we know the rules, we can play to the best of our talents. When the rules change, we lose our foundation, our footing and our masculinity.

The question emerges, Are women confusing us or are our responses to women changing because they have changed?

The answers bubble up in this tome. How to Deal with 21st Century American Women has been our labor of remembered frustrations prompted by several encounters with the opposite sex that have been much less than satisfying for either party. We may not be politically correct and at the moment, we don’t care. To the men who read our words, and laugh and cry along with us—you are the real heroes—Michael Jordan, Ryan Gosling, Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Derek Jeter, Tom Cruise, Bradley Cooper, Ryan Lochte, Dennis Quaid, Michael Phelps, Jay Leno and Jimmy Fallon.

Standing alongside the famous heroes are the loving fathers and coaches who teach their kids baseball, tennis, football, basketball, hockey, swimming, lacrosse, triathlon, scuba diving and many other sports. In the end, a young man remembers what his coach or father said to help him long after the big name heroes pass into the record books.

To the women who discover this book and who think they may gain insight into just what are those strange creatures out there ruled by two heads and one heart, and at times can’t tell the difference among any of the three—hang in there and study our words. The Secret dwells within—in the words and experiences. It doesn’t have to be as confusing as this society makes it.

In the middle of confusion, men must learn where they stand and where they must stand in order to maintain their masculinity. Their bewilderment must turn into a sense-of-self if they are to successfully navigate the choppy waters of 21st century relationships in America.

INTRODUCTION—

THE EMERGING 21ST CENTURY

AMERICAN WOMAN

She’s beautiful. Whenever she walks into the room, men stare and less attractive women cringe. She’s got it all—looks, body, style and pizzazz. If she’s 22, she doesn’t have a history, but she may be carrying invisible baggage from her childhood. At 40 and single, she’s lived through twenty years of experiences and has been disappointed either by her husband(s) or a myriad of lovers. You’re attracted, but it’s possible that you will pay for all the guys who did her wrong. Before you get off your chair to ask her to dance, you’re guilty of all her former men’s sins. If she’s got kids trailing on her skirt tails, you need to understand that situation immediately.

She’s an emerging 21st century American woman. She’s an executive and commands an office staff. She drives a Lexus and expects the next man to fit the ideal of her secret fantasy wish list of the perfect male. If you as a man don’t fit her list, you could bow to religious shrines and join her church, but she won’t be attracted. She’s on a mission. The perfect man ideal stands as her quest. Brad Pitt would be her lover, George Clooney her dance partner, Richard Gere her sugar daddy and Bradley Cooper her sailing companion. She seeks a man who is rugged, yet gentle, and Mathew McConaughey tough, but cries at the appropriate moment—to show his feminine side. She wants her man to be smart, handsome and financially mature. He most certainly never passes gas in public or scratches himself in her presence. He must act like a man, that is, like she thinks a man should act. Of course, she knows all about being a man because she’s a 21st century American woman even if those orbs below her chin happen to be breasts.

The woman of the 21st century knows what she wants, but what she wants can only be found in a Bridges of Madison County novel. Instead, she must accept a Jack Nicholson hairline and his paunch if she wants to enjoy the erotic pleasures of Witches Of Eastwick. Since you’re around, she’ll let you stride into her life, depending on her body and facial attractiveness level—if you tiptoe lightly through her tulips so as not to disturb her vision of romance.

The 21st century American woman complains, Where are all the good men and why can’t I find one?

She’s the woman who has a million-year history of genetic passivity, but now, with her power job and bank account, she has taken command of her life. She traded the Chevy for a BMW with customized transmission, engine and body style. But when it comes to men, we don’t arrive on the showroom floor made to order. Each of us possesses a different engine, transmission, style and color. We remain unpredictable.

The problem with 21st century American women is that few men are the perfect mechanics, but we are willing to change ourselves into something we are not in order to become what those women expect. By doing so, we destroy ourselves. In the end, we will not fulfill any woman or ourselves.

Finally, today’s women don’t know what a man is because they aren’t men. We are, so we need to act like men. By that single stance, we move them toward being women. Ultimately, the 21st century American woman knows what she wants—a sensitive man-woman, but he is not available. He never existed.

SECTION I

GETTING YOUR ACT

TOGETHER AS A MAN

CHAPTER 1

Play hard, live passionately and die happy

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how

the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done

better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena,

whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives

valiantly, who errs, and comes up short again and again, who tries

to do the deed, who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion,

and spends himself in a worthy cause; who—at worst—if he fails,

at least fails while daring greatly. Far better it is to dare mighty

things,