Think & Date Like a Man: (Be the Woman Who Gets the Man She Wants and Keeps Him!)

Man-Think Self Assessment Quiz

Now that you know why it’s important to Think & Date Like a Man, it’s time to see how close to, or how far away from that you really are. If you’re like most women, you’ll find that your Woman-Think and his Man-Think are on polar ends of the earth. Answer the next 10 questions with total honesty, and I’ll help you determine how sharp your Man-Think skills are and how much fine-tuning you need to Think and Date Like Man.

1. What do guys dislike doing most on a date?

a. Going to the ballet.

b. Going clothing shopping.

c. Talking about where The Relationship is heading.

d. Being asked about their past relationships.

2. How do you know if a guy really likes you?

a. He brings you flowers.

b. He courts you with gifts and restaurant meals.

c. He introduces you to his friends.

d. He tells you.

3. What does it mean when a guy has sex with you?

a. He loves you.

b. He’s ready for an exclusive relationship with you and only you.

c. He’s attracted to you and you were willing.

d. He wants to have children.

4. When should you suggest your date cancel his sports event to be with you?

a. When you’re really serious about him.

b. When your parents are available to meet him.

c. When you’re lonely and miss being with him so much.

d. When you’re about to give birth to his child.

5. What kind of a surprise does a guy like most?

a. When he comes to pick you up for a date and you open the door nude.

b. When you show up at his workplace with a home-cooked meal and flowers.

c. When you show up at his home completely unexpected.

d. When you suddenly burst into tears because you’re so happy being with him.

6. When will a guy ask you to marry him?

a. On your 6-month anniversary.

b. If and when he feels you’re The One.

c. On your one year anniversary.

d. Trick question—you should propose to him.

7. What’s the best thing to say when you first see a guy’s place?

a. I like your place.

b. Cleaning lady’s year off?

c. If we’re gonna be together, some of this stuff has got to go.

d. This place has everything but a velvet painting of dogs playing poker.

8. What do you tell your date when an extremely attractive woman walks by?

a. How could anyone wear a dress like that? What a whore!

b. Jeez, why don’t you take a picture? It lasts longer.

c. Wow, she’s really pretty.

d. You’re not attracted to someone like that, are you?

9. What is a guy’s primary goal in asking you out for a date?

a. He wants to get married and have children with you.

b. He wants to see you naked.

c. He wants to find out about your hopes, plans, and dreams.

d. He wants to show you off to his friends and family.

10. Which of the following is a relationship deal-breaker for a guy?

a. A woman who’s a few extra pounds overweight.

b. A woman who prefers waiting until marriage to have sex.

c. A woman who has children.

d. A woman who still lives with her parents.

Quiz Answers

[C] While ballet, clothing shopping, and past relationship talk are about as much fun for a guy as getting a root canal, bringing up where The Relationship is heading is like getting that same root canal—without the anesthesia.

[D] Oh, sure—flowers, gifts, meals, and friends are nice, but guys are pretty straight—forward. Chances are if they care for you, you’ll hear about it. And you just can’t put a price on I like you.

[C] When a guy has sex with you, it means he’s attracted to you and you were willing. Period. I take that back—he may or may not be attracted to you. It means he’s horny and you were willing. Are guys that shallow? Hmmm, let me think…yes.

[D] Suggest a guy cancel his sports event to be with you only when you’re about to give birth to his child, and even then, think twice about it. Certain things are holy to guys—beer, cars, and sports. You’re not there yet. He’ll let you know when you are.

[A] Never show up at his workplace or home; God knows what state he’ll be in or who’ll be with him. And tears of happiness at this stage are just psycho. For a classic, all-American, always-in-good-taste surprise, you just can’t beat unexpected nudity.

[B] If you chose D, you need way more help than this book can offer.

[] Insulting a guy’s place is one step away from laughing at his penis. Once you’ve been together for a while, you can start making subtle suggestions. Until then, keep your eyes closed and your arms open.

[C] Saying a pretty woman’s pretty is just affirming what your guy is already thinking. Plus, it shows you’re secure and it’s a great set-up for him to follow up with a compliment—something like, Almost as pretty as you. See? She did you a favor!

[B]

Every guy who asks you out wants to see you naked. You can either let that bother you, or be flattered by it. Don’t blame him; that’s how guys are wired.

[B]

Let’s be honest—you could be a leper, but if you’re having great sex with your guy, he’s enjoying the relationship. Now, while there’s nothing wrong with wanting to wait till marriage to have sex, that’s your right—just don’t expect the guy to wait with you. He’s already thinking about that other woman who’s far less patient than you are.

What kind of Man-Think skills are you starting out with?

9–10 Correct Answers: You’re an Advanced Man-Thinker. You’ve got the basics down, and now it’s time to turn all that thinking into scoring your perfect match. Go get ’em brainiac!

5–8 Correct Answers: You’re an Intermediate Man-Thinker. You’re on the right track, but you still have a way to go to master the mind of the dating man. Read on and we’ll have you fine-tuned and in the dating rotation in no time.

0–4 Correct Answers: You’re an Amateur—A Beginner Man-Thinker. For the love of God, immediately cease dating until you’re done reading this book! But have no fear—there is hope for you yet!

Section I:

The War Room

This book is a direct result of thousands of letters, questions and complaints I have received from women through my column, Ask April, and my website, AskApril.com—specifically, the whining and complaining about wanting (but failing) to get married, and if not that, from women who were in love and were left. Interestingly enough, both groups sing the same tune: I’m really lonely and really afraid, suffering from low self-esteem, filled with self doubt and consumed with insecurity and lack of confidence. Help me!

This book will (hopefully) take you on a journey from whiner to winner and help you to think less like Princess Diana, and more like Camilla Parker Bowles—the woman who didn’t look like a princess at first glance, but got the prince, hook line and sinker, at the end of the story. Diana was sweet and good—but hopelessly and helplessly sad in love. Camilla, however, used her skills to get her prince. She was not more beautiful than Diana—in fact she was way less so. She was not younger than Diana. She was older. But despite the supposed disadvantages of youth and beauty, Camilla had what it took to get what she wanted, and that is why she is a good example of what I want to impart to you, that you do not have to be the most beautiful woman in the room to get the man you want—or to get all the men in the room, for that matter. What you do have to be is wise.

Yes, we are living in modern times, and cyber dating is a virtual reality, but don’t be fooled. Men seek in women the same thing that they did thousands of years ago—their yearnings and desires have not changed. What has changed is that the Feminist Movement has given us bad advice and told us what we supposedly want, and what men supposedly want. The media has augmented that bad advice, and many people have believed them. But I’m here to tell you, don’t believe the Feminist hype, and ignore the media—they’re wrong.

The truth is this, ladies: Men still want ‘to see stars’ when they fall in love; they want to feel ‘butterflies in their stomachs,’ they want fireworks exploding and they want to be ‘carried away’ by the most captivating, alluring, enchanting, mesmerizing, fascinating seductress ever—a woman who completely bewitches. Men want to yearn. Desire is like a drug—in fact, it is a drug! But you can’t buy it. Not even illegally! However, I will teach you to elicit it and use it to your advantage.

I will show you how a man thinks and dates, but I will also acknowledge and tip my hat to the courtesans, geishas, and women of other eras who took seduction seriously. We have just as much to learn from them, as we do from men.

Not since the courtesans of Europe and the geishas of Japan, has anyone specialized in men or been so valued for their powers of seduction of men. These women earned titles that didn’t include Mrs., but did include Goddess and Seductress, because of their knowledge of the art of captivating men. Don’t get me wrong. This is not about sluts and whores who are paid money for a night of pleasure. (It’s not too hard to have sex with a man.) These were women with self esteem and rich lives, who made their livings and their lives by knowing and practicing enticement and seduction in long relationships with men, not by trapping them, but by enchanting them with a working arsenal of talents, skills and education that kept men wanting more. Manslayers vary in the way they look, or in the way they dress, or even in the era they are born into, but their basic modus operandi remains (for the most part) the same. No, these are not women who feel they are nothing and no one, without a man—are you kidding? These are women who love men, but don’t need a man. And what a wonderful state for a woman to be in—wanting, but not needing. It is how you will make the wisest decisions in your life when it comes to relationships. You will not be left for another women—in fact, if anyone does the leaving, it will be you.

These goddesses—the women for whom men give up thrones and fortunes, went to war, and fought duels to the death—are powerful in ways most cannot fathom…. Yet, behind the black magic may lurk a somewhat ‘average’ or ‘plain’ looking woman. And yet, time and again, she will beat out the most beautiful of competitors through her sheer will, her commanding presence, her dominate confidence, and her grand standing, look at me attitude…although it may be subtle (at first) she sends forth very powerful and provocative psychological messages.

So, as you read about the way men think and date, and consider what it is you’ve been thinking and doing in dating until now, think about some new mantras for yourself: Enchantress, vixen, seductress, siren, enticer, vamp…

1

What Men Think About Love

I don’t know why women want any of the things that men have when one of the things women have is men.

—Coco Chanel

OK, now that you’ve taken the little quiz and know how much you do (or don’t) think like a man, I’m going to let you in on a little secret…Men see dating, as they do life, as sales. That is a fact. You may not like it, you may not agree with it, you may not even want to believe it, but you better start accepting it, because it is the way it is. So, if you want to think like a man does, then it’s time to get to know your audience and to understand the consumer—in your case, men. If you follow the three basic rules to success in sales, you’ll have more insight into what goes on in their mind:

• Rule #1—Know and understand your consumer.

• Rule #2—Give them what they want.

• Rule #3—Analyze the competition and do things better than they do.

So, that’s what the men are doing. Only somewhere along the line, we got the Feminist message that we should do that, too. So we started phoning men, asking them out on dates, paying for dinner, making the first move and even proposing marriage—or worse—moving in together. And it seemed okay, only as time went on, it became clear that what we had on our hands was a disaster. Never have there been more divorces, unhappy relationships and singles desperate to be in relationships.

A while ago, a group of women asked me if a woman should ever propose to a man. At that moment, it hit me—the Feminist Movement has given us women some bad advice. I told that group of women not to listen to the traditional Feminist Movement when it comes to matters of the heart. In terms of dating and love, men and women are on opposite ends of the spectrum. We’ve always been this way and we always will be. Evolution has not shown changes in these roles. Ever.

There have been many advances in the rights of women over the years—they’ve resulted in higher wages, more opportunities, and all sorts of freedoms women had never experienced before. But a funny thing happened when women started knocking down all the office walls that once stalled their careers: We started knocking down the bedroom walls as well…. with some disastrous results!

Confused as to what you should do? Let me help straighten it all out for you.

Snap out of it! Unlearn what the Feminists Taught Us:

* Don’t ask men out.

*Don’t initiate phone calls to men.

*Don’t give a man your phone number if he hasn’t asked for it.

*And DON’T ASK A MAN TO MARRY YOU!

Although the feminist movement would have had us believe otherwise, men and women are different. Sometimes complete opposites of each other. And nowhere are these differences more evident than when it comes to amore. Sure, we may all be looking for someone with whom to spend our lives, but how men and women go about finding that love is as different as night and day or apples and oranges. You get the picture.

The good news is that men do need commitment (at some point in their lives) just as much as women do—but they want it packaged differently. When people write to me asking if they ever will find their soul mates, I tell them that they have to change their thinking processes. Our male soul mates will not be the same as us; we are not looking for our twin. Men are coming